RUFKM? IRON MAIDEN’S THE NUMBER OF THE BEAST
Wednesday, October 28th, 2009 at 3:30pm by Corey Mitchell
RUFKM? (AKA “Are you fucking kidding me?”) takes a look at stellar metal albums and their douchie one-star Amazon reviews.
Next up: Iron Maiden’s The Number of the Beast.
Nate Acephalic opined: “This is for the people who have little left in the brain and have perhaps burned one too many nerve cells. Great music to be retarded to.”
Andy critiqued: “pretty sad when the backstreet boys are a heavier band than you… his voice sounds like bea arthur trying to sing.”
Jeremy cracked: “Dudes and other genders Maiden sux bad…all i have to say…’har har look at me im all gay and stuff i listen to maiden.’”
“teisvi” channeled Skwisgaar Skwigelf: “can’t understand why people call this a masterpiece; it’s BOOOOOORIIING, most of THE SONGS ARE LAUGHABLE and after a few listens,the album DON’T TELLS YOU NOTHING.”
cookie sweetly declared: “Rock fans are constantly putting down Backstreet Boy fans saying try listening to “real music” so I listened. All I can say is WOW, this is pure rubbish. It’s loud,loud, and loud and as far as the quality of the performers voices oh my goodness good gawd, have these ppl heard of voice teachers. I’m beginning to think rock fans brain cells are numb, because that is the only way one could listen to this brianless, mindless crap.”
Hot Topic “Bobby” wrote (this should be good): “This band is not talented at all and is a complet joke. Honestly, how can you people listen to this satanic goth garbage? This guy on the bass Harris or whatever the hell his name is, cannot play at all and is a complete lozer and does not look kewl at all(he looks like an ugly gurl).”
Or better yet, try this from Hot Topic “Bobby”: “For a real metal album that has talented playing check out “Nevermind” by Nirvana or Limp Bizkit’s masterpiece “Chocolate Starfish and the Hot Dog Flavored Water”.”
Are You Fucking Kidding Me?
Corey Mitchell is a best-selling author of true crime books and founder of the #1 true crime blog, In Cold Blog. Join him on Facebook and Twitter.
If Hot Topic Bobby isn’t a joke, then the apocalypse is soon to come.
agreed
Idk about this
hot topic bobby needs to be thrown in an acid bath
acid bath, great band
saw Maiden lst year at the garden, one hell of a show. Can’t beat a 15 meter tall eddie bursting out of a wall
and then he fist fucked hot topic Bobby with his massive limbs.
haha epic
oh my fuck acid bath!
He is such a ‘lozer’
I take solace in the fact that all these people are dead now.
“Hot Topic Bobby” is obviously joking, and if you think otherwise…well I’m not going to say you’re an idiot, but fucking Christ…
These posts are almost as bad as the first Rich Halford.
How the fuck do you know they’re kidding? Is he you?
C’mon dude, it’s so obvious.
If you can’t figure out that this is a sarcastic joke then you’re brain cells ARE numb. Plus, you have absolutely no sense of humor. Are you 15? You have to be to actually think articles like this are to be taken seriously. It’s Maiden for fucks sake.
These posts are hilarious! I love reading what some maroons have to say about great metal albums. Sure, some of them are jokes, but some are deadly serious. Hell, look at some of the stupid comments left here about Maiden.
most of them are jokes to get people upset…apparently they work
This is one way the internet fails. Should unqualified know nothing internet trolls really be allowed to post their warped opinions on a professional website like Amazon?
It’s one thing to read retard’s comments for a comedic effect ie. Metal Sludge, but Amazon is a legit site.
It’s Amazon’s call, but I don’t think they should associate real products with the anonymous “wisdom” of the web.
Afterthought-
Also, though it had a few great songs, Number of the Beast was a pretty weak effort as a whole. Their future work was so much better.
Yep, it’s the sad truth. Some of the songs are unlistenable for me, just poorly written.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?
Your opinion should not matter
My opinion doesn’t matter. The Prisoner, 22 Acacia Avenue, Number of the Beast, Run To The Hills, and Hallowed Be Thy Name are great songs, the rest are mediocre. I won’t say it’s a weak album, that’s a lot of quality songs, but I don’t think it’s their best. That’s why I’d call it overrated.
Really? I would consider The Prisoner, 22 Acacia Avenue, Number of the Beast, Run to the Hills, and Hallowed Be Thy Name to be excellent songs. While Invaders and Children of the Damned are decent, but not classics. Gangland is really the only throw away track on the album. I think it stacks up nicely compared to their other work.
I’d switch 22 Acacia Avenue with Children of the Damned, and Gangland with Total Eclipse, but yeah, otherwise, you’re right. This was probably Iron Maiden’s strongest overall album.
Yeah, those are pretty interchangable. Seems like most Maiden fans dig Children of the Damned a lot, but for whatever reason it doesn’t really get to me (same goes for 2 minutes to midnight).
Best album? I don’t know if I could say which ones best. Powerslave, Seventh Son of a Seventh Son, Somewhere in Time, Number of the Beast, and Killers are pretty much tied for my personal favorite.
@Natsquatch: Like Chris said, ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?
I shit you not. My favorite album by them would be Brave New World, closely followed by Powerslave and Seventh Son of a Seventh Son.
three truly excellent albums, good call.
very overrated
# of the beast< powerslave
This shit is why I believe in a shock collar system for the youth of America.
not gonna lie, i like maiden songs better when someone other than maiden is playing them. idk i guess dickensons voice grates on me in some way. i mean, of course i fucking love maiden, and i love this album, i love their music, and i agree they were serious innovators in metal and music today, but i happen to dislike the originals 4 some reason. i found myself unable to really get into maiden until i heard kerrangs “maiden heaven” cover album last year. really phenomenal stuff in my opinion, especially fear of the dark, run to the hills, and 2 minutes to midnight. the only two songs i like better as maiden songs are aces high, and, of course, number of the beast. idk why i cant get into the other original stuff so much; i do love their music/songs, just not by them…
RUFKM? Hands down, stupidest comment of the day. Hell, week.
Ever.
i dont really like to listen to maiden but i understand what they did for metal.
that and the stuff they wrote was catchy as hell. I still have the chorus “run to the hills”
stuck in my head. I do think they sound ridiculous though, they were before my time…
that and i am also pretty sure the “hot topic bobby” review was meant as a joke
All these people have something in common
They are all idiots
One thing I like that Interpunk does that Amazon should try, you can’t leave a review unless you bought the CD through the website. It totally eliminates trolls like this.
this is the worst review i have ever read, even if it is a joke. nobody has the right to say a single negative word about the greatest metal band of all time, Iron Maiden Long live maiden, and fuck these dudes and MS for posting this shit
best album ever, no exaggeration
Voice teachers?? are you fucking kidding. Its Bruce “i can still shatter glass in my 50’s fucking Dickinson”
These cant be serious.
Ahahahahahah… these people are all awesome but cookie is a god… he gotta be some high-class comedian or something…
And I really hope these weak-minded guys are serious cause they make me feel so smart. Keep these posts comin please…
Dunt h8, yo. LB r tha shitz.
I would like to see more RUFKM? posts, please.
*Note: “cookie” listens to Backstreet Boys, but calls Iron Maiden “brainless, mindless crap”. Ah, the tables are turned.
*brianless
Good catch.
I always thought NotB was a bit overrated myself. Either way, it’s still a classic album.
Nothing beats Piece of Mind, though.
Powerslave rapes all!
This.
Yes, as Hot Topic Bobby stated, Nirvana is some Br00tal metal. Totally not grunge rock…totally. Wow what idiots.
ANYWAYS this is a great album.
Please don’t feed the trolls!
hot topic bobby is definitely a joke. people used to do that on metal albums on amazon all the time, just to bait people into getting pissed off. there’s a lot of great albums where someone wrote “if you want REAL metal, get slipknot or disturbed”, or things of that nature
I wonder what they think of Sunn O))).
Wow, limp bizkit more metal than Iron Maiden…amazing
I’m not a big fan of Maiden, please don’t throw batteries at me, but I respect the hell out of them.
I want to punch Hot Topic Bobby square in the face. I’m sure he’s only 15 and I would get arrested, but the only thing more satisfying about punching someone who called a Limp Bizkit album a FUCKING MASTERPIECE?????????? would be to rip Fred Dursts head clean off while burning all of their albums, then cooking his remains over the fire! MMMM douche for dinner…
eh, kinda stringy.
This post makes me feel stabby……
Fucking kids.
Fucking RETARDED kids. This is why human breeding should be regulated.
OH MY GOD I’M RAGING SO HARD FFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
Seriously though, Iron Maiden sucks.
I have nothing left to say to people who don’t enjoy the musical accomplishments of the super six, or any other…well almost any ( sorry Blayze) reincarnation of Iron Maiden…except suck it. My, and many others tattoos of Eddie look down on you in shame. On a lighter note. I liked bea arthur, she was cool as shit…fuckin golden girls man. And, surprisingly enough, im not a homosexual!