I can’t even believe that shit like this still happens in America in 2009, but that’s progress for you. Reader Andrew Morales sent us a link to this story from the Examiner – which I gather is either a Christian publication, or one where the reporters are very, very biased – that reports on a controversy brewing with regards to Toxic Holocaust and The Black Dahlia Murder playing at a Christian-run venue in Nashville last night. The biased writing of the article makes the whole thing inadvertently hilarious – check out some excerpts:

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There’s been so much awesome metal this year that even thinking about doing a 2009 “best of” list gives me so much agita that I have already devoted at least one and possibly three complete therapy sessions to the topic. But one album that I know has a reserved spot on that list: Chimaira’s The Infection. It came out in April and it’s still in my regular rotation, for crying out loud.

So. Videographer Todd Bell has been out on the road with the band this entire tour cycle working on what will be his forth totally excellent DVD for Chimaira, and now the band has decided to share a preview of what Bell has brewing. Per a statement on the band’s website:

We’re so excited about the footage we shot with Todd Bell for our new DVD release (due out in 2010) that we couldn’t wait to share it. Here is “The Disappearing Sun” live from Helsinki, Finland.

Here’s the clip. “The Disappearing Sun” is one of my favorite tracks of off The Infection, and it looks like it slays live:

The site also says that the group’s tenth annual Chimaira Christmas show, which will take place on December 27 at the Cleveland House of Blues, will be filmed for the DVD. I’ve given serious consideration to making my first visit to Cleveland for one of these shows every year for the past five years; maybe this is the year I finally get off my ass and do it.

-AR

Thanks to all my fellow infected Chimairacans who e-mailed me about this. And, yep, I just made up a word.

What exactly constitutes a “machine gun riff”? Rapid chugging? ‘Cause a couple of these just sound like breakdowns to me. Whatever it is, Jeffrey Nordin not only claims to know but claims to have the definitive list of the top 6 such riffs EVARRR. Explains Nordin via email: “Unlike the other myriad attempts at YouTube humor, this one is dry and witty and has one other gross advantage: It is factually accurate, because this is not just some random opinion, but my opinion which is demonstrably factual.” Well, let’s see about that.

Not a bad list! But oh hey dude, while I agree with your inclusion of “Remembrance” here, the band’s name is pronounced Go-JEE-rah, not Go-JIE-ra. Rhymes with pEnis, not vagIna. And as for your #1 most brutal machine gun riff of all time… so fucking br00tal dude! Great pick.

And I’m all the smarter for having watched this video: I now know what an “autodidact” is.

-VN

Time is winding down! You only have until midnight this Saturday, appropriately Halloween day, to submit your best impersonation of Alexi for a chance to win his sick-ass ESP guitar. In case you forgot what the deal was here’s a snippet from the contest page:

Between now and October 31, you’re going to film yourself doing your very best impersonation of Alexi Laiho. What does that mean? Exactly what it sounds like; you’re going to do whatever it takes* to create a video where we can’t tell you apart from Alexi. You can wear a wig, you can adopt Alexi’s stage moves, or anything you want within reason. But to win, you’d better make us laugh, or blow our minds with your ability to be a clone of Alexi. In any case, our panel of judges will watch each video, and the one we deem the coolest will be selected to win an ESP Alexi Laiho Signature Series LTD AL-600 Scythe guitar!

So what are you waiting for? We’ve already got a ton of funny entries. Get to recording and enter the contest!

I know exactly two people who will be really really excited that Vince Neil is working on a new solo album: me and Axl. Woot woot!

Some time in 1993 Axl dubbed me a tape; on one side was Living Colour’s Stain, and on the other side Vince Neil’s first solo record Exposed. My life was changed forever. While my namesake hasn’t managed to hold onto much any credibility in the years since, Exposed still holds up thanks in no small part to the guitar wizardry of the indomitable Steve “Jew from the Bronx changed my name to be a rockstar” Stevens.

While I’m not sure who’s even in Neil’s solo band at the moment (Keri Kelli?) I’m certain it isn’t Stevens, making this record circumspect from the getgo. Not that there aren’t other good guitar players out there but let’s face it, Neil’s a complete hack who definitely needs song written for him ala Ozzy, nahmean? So let’s (as in me and Axl) just agree to be cautiously optimistic about this one.

Here’s Neil w/ Stevens performing “Look In Her Eyes” in Chicago in 1993.

-VN

UPDATE: HERE’S A QUOTE FROM DEVIN HIMSELF:

Oh ok…here it is. ‘Bend It Like Bender’

(You! …in the Nasum shirt! …look away!!!)

I know…I know…it’s a pretty bippy-boppy-Euro-type dance track, but you know? guilty as charged when it comes to loving that stuff. I remember hearing The Vengaboys ‘We Like To Party’ back when it came out and it nearly brought me to tears (I was cutting onions at the time…) something about EASY, FUN music that takes very little effort to enjoy…or detest as the case may well end up being .

So yeah, I wrote a song like that. ppppttthhhhhhhhhpppppppphhhhhhhh…..

I’m working on album three of the DTP quartet right now, Deconstruction. And it’s such brained out, complicated nonsense, that while I was writing it (all 4 albums were written during the same period) I remember just finishing the track ‘Traestorz’ (Deconstruction) and my brain was reeling. Super complicated metal madness, and I was like, ‘ENOUGH!!!’ and threw my lube down in revulsion and laid into Bender with a ‘phat ass beat’ y’all.

‘We are one and we have found they only wanted you around
To hold it down, so hold your ground,
We won’t be here forever!
We are young and we have fun and all we’ve found in being around is ‘All and all’ and ‘Holy cows’ While things keep getting heavy! Hang on to your man and Hang on to your woman and HANG ON!!!’

Whats it about? Ah, indeed young knave, gather ye round and I shall dispense the benevolent meaning of this cosmic connundrum upon thee:

ready..?

It’s a play on the title ‘Bend It Like Beckham’ and the robot from Futurama named ‘Bender’, because he’s into partying, and the records called ‘Addicted’. Yup. Oh…and ‘Bender’ and ‘Bekham’ both start with the letter ‘B’.

Anneke VanGeirbergen ladies and Germs…Anneke VanGeirbergen. Did I mention I love Abba as well? Well I do. AND we’re still metal.

Again, all 4 records were written together…which was good for me, because when I would get all antsy with Ki, I would unload with Deconstruction, then get offended by my own pretension and rock some good vibes with Addicted, then when I would feel like it was ALL stupid, I’d write for Ghost, and make some dead country voices.

So yeah, enjoy. Or don’t. I do.

Lastly, There’s a time and a place for fat, shirtless men with head tattoos to bump into each other and yell, and a time and a place for women to move like the beautiful creatures they are.

…just sayin’

dev.

SECOND UPDATE: I THINK THAT’S THE FIRST TIME DEVIN HAS ANNOUNCED GHOST AS THE TITLE OF THE FOURTH TDTP ALBUM. HOO-RAY!

The first time I heard “Bend It Like Bender” from The Devin Townsend Project’s Addicted, I honestly didn’t get the reference. I mean, I understood the play on the phrase “Bend It Like Beckham,” but I had no idea who “Bender” was. Vince and I grew up with a kid named “Bender,” but I was fairly certain that a) Devin Townsend does not know our Bender, and b) our Bender never bent anything of significance.

So I Googled the phrase Bender, and learned that the robot character from Matt Groening’s Futurama is named Bender Bending Rodríguez:

I never really got into Futurama, but if Devin Townsend likes it, I have to assume I’ve been missing out on something awesome.

ANYWAY, this is all me taking way too long to tell you that “Bend It Like Bender” is now streaming on Townsend’s MySpace page. But be careful before you listen to it – it’s so catchy you may only be able to get it out of your head if you blow your brains out.

Addicted comes out November 17 on InsideOutMusic. MetalSucks is still hosting an exclusive stream of the track “Universe in a Ball,” which you should definitely check out.

-AR

[Horse the Band are currently on tour supporting their new album Desperate Living. Keyboardist Lord Gold (his mommy calls him Erik) is recording their current road trek for posterity in this here MetalSucks blog. Entry 4 follows (read Entry 1, Entry 2 {complete with wild coke party w/ IWABO} and Entry 3). -Ed.]

Two women walked beleagueredly into Denny’s Restaurant after a night of drinking after work, planned one week in advance. They were wearing luxurious, flowing black clothing and black high heels. The high heels were warping severely. Upon closer examination the straps were ripping and frayed. The women’s heel skin was split red and white, crackling over the edge of the platform.

A woman began the process of sitting down. She lowered herself gracefully with one arm leaning heavily against the bowing table and one arm on the back of the booth seat. Her sinews tightened under her supple skin, her bag hanging on her forearm fell to her wrist. She lowered herself about one third of the distance, then completed her entry by letting her body freefall into the booth. The vinyl-covered padding ballooned ever so slightly and then gave way, enveloping her with a muffled whoosh. The whole row of booths tremored slightly. It was a perfect landing.

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As we mentioned in our Djent-centric post in which we featured DC Sumeriancore outfit Haunted Shores, the band are currently in the studio with Periphery guitarist / studio wiz kid Misha Mansoor. Their latest is a djenty take on the theme music from Final Fantasy. My dork boner became raging hard the minute I pressed play on Haunted Shores’ MySpace and the sounds of that oh-so-sweet theme music filled my ears. Though my Final Fantasy experience stopped after the game’s very first NES iteration and this cover is purportedly based on VII, I still found the whole thing enjoyable… if you were ever into Final Fantasy, this is a must.

While you’re there please do listen to the rest of the music Haunted Shores have posted. And try not to wince at the above tattoo culled from the Webernets.

-VN

The Absence may very well be one of the best American melodeath bands out there, and they just do not get enough love. Seriously, their guitar solos alone make me wanna cum so hard my nuts fly out of my dick. They’ve released two killer albums, From Your Grave and Riders of the Plague, on Metal Blade, and since Plague came out two years ago, I was hoping we’d get another one in ’09. And while there’s obviously been no such luck…

…it does look like 2010 will bring us some new material. Says Blabbermouth:

Tampa, Florida melodic thrash outfit THE ABSENCE will enter Mana Recording Studios in St. Petersburg, Florida on Monday, November 2 to begin recording its third album for an early 2010 release via Metal Blade Records. Guitarist Patrick Pintavalle states, “We will be tracking with Brian Elliot and mixing duties will be handled by Jonas Kjellgren (SCAR SYMMETRY, CARNAL FORGE).

Kjellgren produced and also mixed Plague, so I guess the band found that collaboration as fruitful as us listeners did. Everyone should be really, really stoked to hear this new album.

Here’s the video for “Dead and Gone” from Riders of the Plague. If you dig it – and you should – I implore you to check out the full record.

-AR

Our inboxes are aflutter with fans celebrating today’s release of The Great Misdirect. Mostly they range in tone anywhere from “jizz” to “splooge” but never anything less.  Here’s a sample, sent in by MS reader Patrick Dorsey:

Hello, Axl and Vince. Longtime reader. First-time e-mailer. After hearing The Great Misdirect, I wanted to shout it from on top of a mountain. But I don’t have a mountain. I have you guys at MetalSucks. So here goes: Between the Buried and Me is the LeBron James of music right now. This is not hyperbole. That is all.

Can’t say I disagree with Partick’s assertion, but for me the verdict on this record is still up in the air. I’m currently just getting started on spin number 3. I mean it’s brilliant, there’s no doubt about that… but a record this dense takes MANY, many listens to fully internalize and it’s going to be a while before I decide how this one stacks up against the band’s prior work and if/how it marks a progression in their evolution.

Until then, smoke ‘em if ya got ‘em… this one’s a doozy for sure.

-VN

Elise over at Reign in Blonde found this fan-filmed footage of Weezer doing what is actually, as she notes, a pretty decent cover of Sabbath’s “War Pigs.” Which isn’t entirely shocking, given that Weezer mastermind Rivers Cuomo is a known metalhead; of course, he’s also a self-professed Limp Bizkit fan, so I guess we should just thank our lucky stars he’s not running around covering “Eat You Alive” or whatever.

Actually, scratch that. Weezer covering Limp Bizkit might be hilarious, in that ironic emo hipster douchebag kind of way. Especially if they incorporated the rapping.

-AR

I’m posting this video interview our friends at Noisecreep conducted with Baroness’ John Baizley for two reasons:

1. Baroness is awesome and their new album, The Blue Record, is the cat’s pajamas.
2. It was edited by our friend Tommy Wee. Tommy’s not even really that big a metal guy, but even he thinks The Blue Record is frickin’ sweet.

Enjoy.

-AR

With Converge’s critically acclaimed Axe To Fall still commanding the attention of the metallic hardcore faithful, this week’s release of a new album from Belgium’s Rise And Fall could naturally be overlooked. However, that would be to the detriment of those currently enjoying that higher-profile record. An intelligent, intense burst of recorded vehemence, Our Circle Is Vicious–which you can and should buy now–was (like so many Deathwish Inc. albums) produced by Converge’s Kurt Ballou and stands as a considerable improvement on 2005′s Into Oblivion. Listen to “Built On Graves” and “In Circles” at the band’s MySpace page.

The band play a few U.S. shows this week before heading back to Europe for a month-long tour with Iron Age, whose recent album The Sleeping Eye we streamed back in August and is on Vince’s “Best Of 2009″ shortlist. That tour culminates in Rise And Fall’s hometown of Gent, with a final show that also features Goatwhore, Skeletonwitch and Toxic Holocaust. The band will wrap up 2009 with a December tour through Australia, only to kick of the new year with a few gigs with labelmates The Hope Conspiracy. All dates are below.

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Pelican’s 2007 album, City of Echoes, was maligned by some upon its release, perhaps because of its penchant for shorter songs and Fugazian guitar interplay after the majesty of 2005’s The Fire in Our Throats Will Beckon the Thaw, an album full of epic-length tracks and panoramic sludge/doom riffs. The problem with this train of thought, of course, is that while City wasn’t as good as Beckon, it certainly wasn’t a bad album. The record, if anything, completely sidestepped Pelican’s biggest flaw: their occasional tendency to, in a longer song, circle around an interesting point without actually making it. Of course, gone were cinematic broad strokes of some of their best work. If only there were a way where they could combine reasonable song length with the evocative riff work the band are known for.

Luckily, they have found a way, and their latest album, What We All Come to Need, is nothing but that. While you won’t hear anything as heavy as “Mammoth” off their debut EP or as expansive as Beckon’s “Autumn into Winter,” their new album finds them both imaginative and self-aware. But even though they have a seemingly newfound sense of editing, WWACTN still features all the same trademarks that have made them great from the beginning: sinewy, heavy guitars; Larry Herweg’s workmanlike drumming (still a divisive part of the band); and absolutely no vocals (well, except on the last track, where there are). Whether you gave up on Pelican after City of Echoes or not, their new album features what they do best: telling stories in such a way that, after a song or two, you forget are without words.

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Dude, I haven’t played Guitar Hero (or Rock Band, for that matter) in for-ever. But apparently their song “Graves of Opportunity” is available as part of a track pack for Guitar Hero world tour, alongside an awesome Chimaira song (“Walking On Broken Glass”) and something by a band I don’t care to mention who are named after a Meryl Streep movie, so maybe it’s time I picked up my plastic guitar and rocked out again.

The “Graves of Opportunity” certainly gives me the desire to do so – I mean, it looks like it was more fun to film than it is to watch. Phil Labonte looks like he’s having a good time, at least.

If there really were Unearth avatars for Guitar Hero, it would be awesome if when you hit “overdrive” or whatever the fuck it’s called, the digital Ken Susi would spit in the air, catch it in his hand, and then run it through his hair. Ah. I can dream, can’t I?

“Graves of Opportunity” comes off of Unearth’s excellent album The March, which is out on Metal Blade now.

-AR

Since 1993, the furious duo of Amber Valentine and Edgar Livengood have been confounding and entertaining with their eclectic musical mix that frequently and wantonly crosses the boundaries between metal and rock. Jucifer‘s unrestrained artistry has led to some pretty impressive albums, including two for Relapse Records: 2006′s If Thine Enemy Hunger and last year’s L’Autrichienne. As the band wraps up the latest round of its unending tour, I recently took the chance to pry a few answers out of the loquacious Mrs. Valentine.

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I did actually buy V is for Vagina, the debut album from Maynard James Keenan’s Puscifer, but I never really got into it. Still, Maynard is the man, and this video for Puscifer’s “The Mission” is pretty cool – especially if you’re, uh, in the right state of mind.

Bonus: the female vocals are by Milla Jovovich. Jovovich seems to exclusively appear in unwatchable movies, but she’s hot, so, y’know, I’ll give her a pass. Any friend of Maynard’s is okay in my book.

The song comes from a new Puscifer EP, C is for (Please Insert Sophomoric Genitalia Reference Here), which I didn’t even know was coming out but will apparently be released on November 10.

That video was directed by a dude named Meats Meier, by the way. I wonder if he knows Bacon Jew?

-AR

Well, the headline pretty much says it all. It was pretty brave (or stupid, I guess, depending on your point of view) for this dude to do this, but you gotta love that everyone goes nuts as soon as he starts headbanging. I assume most of them are applauding the act of doing something so outrageous (at least by high school standards) for a talent show and not the actual music, but, hey, support is support.

-AR

Thanks to our friend Bob for the video!

Between the Buried and Me‘s new opus The Great Misdirect is finally out today! To celebrate, we’re holding a contest offering you the chance to win all of the awesome shit you see listed above. That sweet bass alone is worth the time it’s gonna take you to enter the contest, plus you get all that other gear and BTBAM merch.

You know we like to keep it simple and fun around here for our contests. To enter, simply leave a comment (with an email address you regularly check!!) telling us which BTBAM album is your favorite one and why. We won’t judge based on our own personal tastes, but we will judge based on how clever/funny/interesting/whatever your explanation is. So make ‘em good. We’ll pick a winner on Tuesday, December 8th and notify them via email shortly thereafter.

BTBAM have a whole slew of shows planned for the coming months, including this coming winter’s Orgasm Tour w/ Devin Townsend, Cynic and Scale the Summit that we announced earlier today. They also have a series of headline dates this Fall with Veil of Maya and the very excellent Animals as Leaders; full list after the jump.

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MS Maniac Tim-o-tato has brought to our attention that the almighty Gojira are the latest band to produce a pair of kicks. Check it out:

I like ‘em. They’re simple. Tasteful, even – people might not really realize that you’re wearing sneakers emblazoned with the logo of one of the best metal bands in the world today (I can practically hear my mom asking “There’s a shoe company called Gojira?”).

Unfortunately, they’re stupid expensive – 95 euros, which is about $141 U.S. (and that’s not including shipping). Sheesh.

Hey, Vince – so about that Hanukkah present…

-AR