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MetalSucks Mansion Mayhem

THE FUNNIEST READER EMAIL WE’VE RECEIVED IN QUITE SOME TIME!

 Friday, November 6th, 2009 at 1:00pm by

For the sake of this poor kid’s humility, I’m going to omit his name. But holy hell, this is funny!

At 9:18pm last night we received the following email:

To whom it may concern,

I just received some information personally from Tracy Sanders of Mastodon. He had privelidged me with the title of their upcoming album. From his words, he stated that I was the first person outside of the members and label who know this.
He also forwarded me here to see if you were interested in this information.

I would be happy to arrange any sharing of information if you are interested.

Thank you for your time and consideration. Hope to hear from you soon.

Sincerely,
[name omitted]

Gotta love that Tracy Sanders of Mastodon and his “privelidged” information! Also, the best part is that the guy included his phone number in case we wanted to call!

So, exactly 35 minutes later we get a follow-up from the same dude:

nevermind i was scammed, wouldn’t want to lie.
thanks anyway.

I want to know what went down in those 35 minutes. Was this all part of some elaborate 6-month long scheme like the whole Chuck Biscuits death fiasco? Was his heart broken? Or was it just some idiot being duped in a chat room?

The Webernets. Gotta love ‘em. TRACY SANDERS 4EVARR!

-VN

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  • fasshole

    Maybe troy just has an alter ego when he’s off his face. I can imagine him sitting next to his pc, doob in tow, wearing a boob tube.

    • Noel

      wait……what..? [literal lol]

      • fasshole

        just me then?

  • Tim-o-tato

    LOLZ

  • West Virginia

    ha

  • Ryan

    Everyone know only Benda Hinds has that information…

    • Ryan

      Brenda Hinds… fucked up my own joke

    • Ryan

      There can only be one Ryan…………..dun dun dun…

  • joshkid

    maybe the kid was possessed by “THE MASTODON BEARD”, and it took him 35 minutes to shave it off…

    • gibberish

      Thirty five minutes must be a new record for ridding yourself of the beard. This kid doesn’t deserve to be laughed at, he deserves a medal!

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Alex-Frost/1022366059 Alex Frost

      Well played, sir.

      • bleak46n2

        totally agree…

  • Zoker

    Fail.

  • ski

    Lay off. The kid might live in some shit ass town, loves your site, contacts you with the best intentions, and then you mock him. I’m sure he felt bad enough when he found out he was scammed. At least he contacted you (again) to follow up.

    Mock the malicious, not the naive.

    And give him a column as penance.

    • metalanus

      1

    • kelfro

      - 1. He could also live in a great city, never visit this site, and could possibly possess a sense of humor.

    • cosk!

      yeah, i dont see this as his fault. and he contacted you and let you know he was duped, that had to suck enough for him already. go back to making fun of mustain or kerry king……. people who deserve it

    • stu1

      This random dude contacts a website with “breaking news,” as if MS wouldn’t get it from the band, their management, publicist or label. He’ a tool box or horribly naive.

      • metalanus

        he could just be an over enthusiastic kid.
        cut him a break, at least he’s taking interest.
        kid needs teaching, not mocking.

        • WowWee!

          I tihnk this will teach him a lesson.

          • metalanus

            lol touche

  • Frampler

    I have a cousin called Tracy Sanders. She’s not in Mastodon though, and I’d happily swap her (dead or alive) for the pleasure of having Troy as my relative.

    • http://buttor.blogspot.com Buttor

      What ? Tracy Sanders left Mastodon !! Nooooo !!

  • http://paterindiabolus.blogspot.com pater noster

    D.R.I…

  • http://www.solidsterecords.com NoCowNoFood

    DOA

  • Noel

    well, I saw Brian Talyor on the bus the other day. pretty nice guy.

  • http://www.last.fm/user/groverXIII groverXIII

    The thing I’m wondering about, is… is the person who sent it going to come forward here and admit it?

    OK, it was me.

    OK, not really.

    • Truant

      Attend GCC, by any chance?

  • Double D

    Isn’t it obvious? It was Lars Ulrich. Y’know, the drummer for Metallica? Duh.

  • o0stacey0o

    Tags: “Idiots” and “mastodon”. I love this site. lol

  • Sammy

    I just received some information from a prince in Nigeria who says he’ll give me 15% of his $400 million if I follow some simple instructions. Gee, I wonder if it’s real.

    • Spen

      good one.

  • Benjamin

    I just regrew a mastadon beard after reading the article on them here.

    And goddam it, my playing got better.