JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, SLASH, THIS IS THE WORST FUCKING THING I HAVE EVER FUCKING HEARD
Tuesday, November 10th, 2009 at 3:30pm by Axl RosenbergI know that opinions about Slash are decidedly mixed. Some people never liked Guns N’ Roses, or hate Slash’s Snakepit, or hate Velvet Revolver, or whatever – I bet that of the five people who remember what the fuck Slash’s Blues Ball was, at least two or three of them hate that, too.
But nothing – and I mean absolutely, unarguably NOTHING – that Slash has ever done has been as bad as this re-recording of “Paradise City” with Cypress Hill and Fergie Methfacerson:
HOLY FUCKING SHIT, DID ANYONE REALLY THINK IT WAS OKAY TO BEGIN ANY VERSION OF “PARADISE CITY” WITH A RAPPER SAYING “YES YES Y’ALL?” IS THIS ONE OF THE BEST HARD ROCK ANTHEMS EVER, OR A FUCKING LIMP BIZKIT SONG?!?! HOW THE FUCK DID FERGIE END UP NOT BEING THE WORST PART OF THIS?!?!
If I was Duff McKagan – who actually wrote the main riff for “Paradise City” – I would kick Slash in the nuts. And then, when he was doing on the ground clutching his bruised testicles, I’d kick him again, and demand that this recording can only be released if done so under the title “Paradise Shitty.”
This re-recording, which makes me wish I was a fan of Disturbed or Drowning Pool so that I’d feel a little more dignified than I do for supporting Slash, comes from a two-song CD single that was released in Japan this week. After the jump is the other song from the single, “Sahara,” which features some Japanese vocalist I’ve never heard it. It’s also a terrible song, but at least it a) doesn’t rape any of my childhood memories and leave them weeping on the cold tile floor and b) has a guitar solo that sounds like every other Slash guitar solo, which is okay because I love Slash guitar solos.
-AR
Thanks to Blabbermouth and Josh Kidd for ruining my day. Dicks.
i actually think it’s pretty fucking cool. GNR always embraced rap and hip hop. I mean, isn’t Axl actually rapping in the verses in that song? and in quite a few other GNR songs as well?
ah yes, who can forget the epic genre-defining hip-hop anthem “my world” from uyi2?
Better than the original.
Cypress Hill have actually been performing this song with slash for over a decade now. it’s nothing new
no man, it’s the fact that they let fergie be involved with it in any way that makes it the fucking atrocity.
Axl I love u! Your comment is amazing!
Well about halfway through this song I put a cigarette out on my hand to make sure I wasn’t asleep and having a nightmare. That hurt less than the raping my ears just went through.
“hey H! the victim has semen in her ears!”
“well”
“that means”
“she heard her killer coming”
YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
I nominate this for best comment ever made.
This just gave me cancer. ACTUAL CANCER.
if you think that’s bad, you should check this out this fergie/snapcase mashup.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0in2Sy2RQJk
that said, i ironically love this.
I will stab this song to death. watch your ass, song!
Sorry Axl. I guess I’ll buy you that moon man after all…
This is rape, murder, and blasphemy all rolled in one song.
I remember when I used to like Slash, I also remember when I used to like Cypress Hill. I now hate both. I’m thinking that Slash needs to get back on the drugs asap.
i would give my balls for this remake to never have existed…im crying right now
The only good part is when everybody shuts the hell up and the riff plays alone, or the solo.
Fergie Methfacerson indeed good sir
and Cypress Hill pretty much rules. B Rreal should keep away from Slash and especially Fergie
fuck this
How many more band members of GnR are gonna shit on their excellent legacy of rock ‘n roll? Slash just pulled an Axl Rose.
This is worse than chemotherapy
both songs are unlistenable. just man up and get GnR back together for fuck’s sakes.
not only is this terrible, but it undermines any bit of the high road that Slash has been able to take since Axl released that ‘Chinese Democracy’ abomination! i dig Cypress Hill, but this is utterly awful. at least Axl gets competent musicians to perfrom in his fake GNR. damn Slash, what were you thinking!
I think a rusty nail shoved slowly into my penis hole would be more enjoyable than what I just listened to
Fuck you, Slash. Seriously, fuck you.
i got high for the first time at a cypress hill concert.
Song always sucked, but this version reaches a whole different level: LIFE THREATENING
How can something so fucking terrible exist? HOW!? Humanity is doomed.
Damn Dude. I was really going to try and keep an open mind about this project. I really try to defend Slash’s douche-ness as of late with the fact that he’s a phenomenal guitar player that bucked the Van Halen Guitar-clone trend in the 80’s. But jeezus this is bad…
Damn this fails in an epic way! Cypress Hill makes it all sound like a joke right from the beginning and then comes the main-riff which feels SO out of place, yet remains the same as always, and in the chorus Fergie tries too hard at sounding “tuff”.
- I bet this is going to be. a. HIT in the US.
Someone needs to kick this cartoon’s ass back to 1987. Fergie was the best part.
I think everyone is being a baby about this. Sure, the songs both suck pretty hard, but they’re not THAT bad. Creed’s new shit is ten times worse.
As for me, I’ll be laughing my ass off when they announce Stephen Tyler as the new singer for Velvet Revolver next week.
Steven Tyler has taken over the screams in Attack Attack!
True, I would probably rather listen to this than Creed. However, Creed has always been putting out varying degrees of shit music, while Slash actually wrote some pretty epic shit back in the day.
O how the mighty have fallen!
Holy shit dude! i didnt even think of that. How fucking ridiculous would that be?!
I’m really feeling a Chris Cornell/Slash/Timbaland album now.
haha
This was better when it was the Judgment Night soundtrack. Better being a very relative term.
The Judgement night soundtrack was the shit man! COME AND DIE!!
I’ve heard worse Guns n Roses covers. Sheryl Crow’s “Sweet Child O’ Mine” for one. Obviously she wasn’t raping her own legacy, but whatever. Fergie, for whom I have no love, does a passable Axl.
as happy as i would be to never hear the original, it was good in its day but ive heard it a bajilion times, this really is just a terrible song. i saw ti, knew thered be a ton of comments giving it shit so i tried to listen to it… and every shit comment is warrented… two scat coated thumbs down!
This is actually pretty sad for me. I always saw Slash as a great guitarist, a true icon of hard rock and foolishly I believed that he will remain that way. And so here dies yet another one of my idols, now I only have Iommi and Dio left.
but those are two pretty good ones there! don’t think you have to worry about Jay-Z and Dio ever doing a track together.
I think i’d rather listen to St. Anger.
whoa whoa…. thats abit too far buddy! you’ve crossed the line there!!
Dont give it up for St Anger man
Your lifestyle DOES NOT determine your deathstyle!
+1!
yeah I have to agree…Sheryl Crows version of “Sweet Child O Mine” makes me fucking cringe…this cover of Paradiise City…isn’t like the end of the world…quite frankly….I’m really sick of the original one too thanks to “Modern Rock Radio”…I’ll take the Speghetti Incident any day.
This kind of shit makes me glad I never really liked GnR, Slash, or shitty guitar solos.
the rapping sucks, fergie does a decent job considering this isn’t her genre and the riff sounds cool to me…heavier…though I admit I grew tired of the original years ago…and like someone said before, this isn’t really new…slash and duff did paradise with cypress hill before…along with rock superstar (which is the only version of the song I can listen to)…
afterthought: fergie does a better axl impersonation than that mew guns n’ roses frontman with the dreads and the baggy clothes…
this isn’t as god awful as i thought it would be… and i agree with a few of the others about fergie’s vocals. she definitely does a pasable axl, but having cypress hill on the verses is just garbage. and the drum beat? what the fuck is that all about. as for the second song, it sounds like it would’ve fit right in on “chinese democracy.” this is trash, and i don’t think there’s any saving grace for slash from now on… but i’m sure this version of paradise city will be a big hit. at least it’s not as bad as chuck mosely’s “we care a lot 2009.”
I have a feeling there are some kickin rad AMVs of the second song on youtube but i really don’t want to check.
there is no such thing as a “kickin rad” amv. all anime music videos are terrible and if you make them you are a bad person. in fact, that’s probably the worst thing you can do with a song. the only solace i can take in not being famous is that no one has ever made a shitty amv with anything i’ve ever done, but you can bet your ass that the second it happens, that douchelord will be slapped so hard with a dmca that his balls will shrivel back into his mouth-breathing, death note watching vagina.
Izzy > everyone else who has been or will ever be in GNR, and this has always been true.
Sometimes I like to try a new taste sensation, ya’ know – something to fuck with my tastebuds, but brothers and sisters – I never pour vinegar over my corn flakes – dig?
Well Put.
I dunno. Sounds like something a semi-clever band would do at one of my local clubs. I’d think, “Kind of interesting”…but still a cover.
I’m so happy I spent my day playing Modern Warfare 2 instead of listening to this bullshit.
Fergie actually wasn’t that bad. Maybe it was just because everything else was so bad.
Cypress Hill >>>>>>>>>>>>> Fergie
- cypress hill
+ real drums
= passable cover
it sounds so overproduced compared to the rawness of the original, and the drum sequence is shit (isn’t matt sorum still job-hunting?). i’m sure it would be a little better live. doesn’t quite suck as bad as i thought it would. slash sounds decent, albeit half-assed.
This is fucking pathetic
Paradise City: I’m not a fan of Cypress Hill. Never understood that whole early 90s obsession with rap. I think the music is good in the PC track. I think Fergie sounds a little like P!nk which is good. I like P!nk. Fergie can sing, her writing just sucks terribly.
Can’t shit on Slash for this without ripping Axl a new one. Axl rapped terribly in Rocket Queen night after night with his stupid Ice-T wannabe verse, ‘Tastes Good, Don’t It?’ And don’t forget how 80% of Chinese Democracy is worse than vomit on a hot Sunday’s sidewalk.
I’m looking forward to the tracks with rock singers on his album for sure.
Just saying….the riff from ”Paradise City” is ripped off from ”Zero The Hero” of Black Sabbath…know your metal bitches!
why? why, slash? ANSWER ME GODDAMMIT!
I’m with Axl on this one, why hasn’t McKagan cried murder, let ALONE Axl Rose!!!
Those slash fans, who bashed Axl in the past, should be ashamed right now. Slash killed the song
Paradise Shitty.
SLASH, YOU SUCK. FUCK FERGIE, BUT NOT PLAY WITH HER!!!! IDIOT
fergy ruined the song that made me pick up guitar, Thanks for that you fucking bitch.
FUCK YOU, SLASH, FOR BUTT-RAPING MY CHILDHOOD!!!
http://thejamminjabber.com/2009/11/11/god-is-dead/
I lasted 51 seconds before it became too much. Total shit.
I would actually like this better than the original if it weren’t for Fergie. I honestly don’t mind the rapping, but Fergie’s a horrible singer.
Umm… I don ‘t think I will ever understand why everyone hates “Chinese Democracy” with such a passion.I mean, for myself, I loved it, and listen to it as often as I did nearly a year ago.But for the casual fan, is it really such a departure? I see it as a natural step in the right direction … More focused than the Illusion albums, more personal, less filler … Jesus.Try listening to the damn thing before simply relying on word-of-mouth and what you “think” you heard.The title track,”Better”,”Catcher In The Rye”, “Sorry”, “Prostitute”.As far as I’m concerned. those songs alone were worth the wait.
I was actually impressed by Fergie’s vocals on this song. She sang way better than on her own records.
I listened to thirty seconds of it, and promptly turned Converge back on. Not worth my time.
I’m not sure if this is better, or worse. Either way, it’s still Slash and it’s still fucking terrible.
Rihanna ft Slash – Rockstar 101
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bm-Fvqe6T2M
Axl > Slash
Open your mind, stupid. This shows us Slash have something new to offer. Also shows that slash loves rock’n'roll but acepts diferent influences, as he plays using sounds from blues to flamenco. He’s back with new sounds, beautiful melodies and high quality. Want to hear more!!
And all the “fucks” you use is because you think you are cool, or because you don’t have nothing to say?
Cheers!