DAVE GROHL, CHRIS CORNELL TO HELP SLASH MOUTH RAPE HIS LEGACY
Wednesday, November 11th, 2009 at 10:30am by Axl Rosenberg
The Starbucks Incident
Yes, I am going to continue to bitch about Slash. I understand that Slash is not Jimi Hendrix but this might be the single biggest betrayal to my formative years since Metallica released everything they’ve released from Load on, and I need to mourn.
So. Some lady says that the following singers are all on Slash’s new solo album, How Could Taking My Cues from Carlos Santana Possibly Go Wrong? I have added my own thoughts because that’s what we do around here.
- Chris Cornell – I would actually love to hear Chris Cornell and Slash work together – if we had created a time machine and I could hear them work together roughly around 1991ish. As it stands, I just hope we get something that wasn’t produced by Timbaland.
- Ozzy Osbourne – Apparently this song will be the single, and some lady says that “the lyrics are going to piss off Axl and Black Sabbath!” So I guess they’re gonna slam Technical Ecstasy.
- Kid Rock – Kid Rock was with Axl Rose the night he got in a fist fight with Tommy Hilfiger in 2006. Bad things happen to founding members of Guns N’ Roses when Kid Rock is around.
- Lemmy – Actually, if Slash stood back and let Lemmy write this one, it could be pretty decent. I don’t generally associate Lemmy with massive disappointment. I do associate him with big hairy moles, but that’s neither here nor there.
- Iggy Pop – Iggy looks like a decayed corpse, Slash looks like a bloated one. Either way, this track was recorded by a pair of dead guys.
- Alice Cooper – Twelve or thirteen years ago, Slash played an awesome solo on “Elected” on Alice Cooper’s live album, and he used to do “Only Women Bleed” during GN’R live sets. Unfortunately for us, this song will probably not be another Alice Cooper cover.
- Flea – Slash thought he called Anthony Keidis. Oh well. At least Flea doesn’t need autotune. And was in Back to the Future, Part II.
- Myles Kennedy – Is this Not Scott Stapp? Is that who this is? I think I heard Alter Bridge once, but it made no impact on my memory whatsoever. I assume it was terrible.
- M. Shadows - A7X always wanted to be Guns N’ Roses. But they’d have a better chance of achieving that goal without Slash.
- Dave Grohl – I love this only because I know that somewhere Kurt Cobain is having the worst fucking year of his after-life ever. Courtney let him sing Bon Jovi in Guitar Hero and Dave Grohl is playing with Slash. If Kurt could kill himself again, he would. The only way this song could be good is if it were to be titled “HI AXL!”
And this is all in addition to the already-released atrocities with Fergie, Cypress Hill, and some Japanese dude. Jack White had the good sense to decline an invitation to appear on the record.
When Jack White is the sensible one in the group, you know you’re fucked.
-AR
The Lemmy comment made me chortle. Good show, chap.
“When Jack White is the sensible one in the group, you know you’re fucked.”
hahahahaha
+1
Lolz. +1
Goats around the world line up with smiles at their impending fellatio…
You forgot about m shadows from avenged sevenfold
jack white is legit as fuck
Jimmy Page and I agree
Absolutely, I can’t fuck with him. Dude can play. Little Cream Soda is a fucking metal song in disguise.
Nice ignorant sweeping comment about Myles Kennedy there but hey, that’s what you do round here.
Regardless, I don’t understand the outpouring of outrage – Slash has been selling his brand to the plebs for years. He’s got his own clothing line, videogame appearance and tendency to turn up to the opening of an envelope to prove it. This was coming a mile off because it just seems like the inevitable next step for brand Slash – make an album aimed at the weekend warrior who likes to boogie to Bryan Adams in the lounge on a Saturday night.
He played on one of the best albums ever made 22 years ago, but it’s not like he’s Ian chuffing MacKaye.
metalsucks hates everything thats not gojira and god forbid.
+1
Hi Axl! HI AXL!!!! Hiiiiiii
Axl, you seem to forget that everything Carlos Santana has done since he first wrote an album with a different famous or semi-famous singer on every song has turned to (multi) platinum. It may be pop drivel with Carlos playing essentially the same riff and or solo on every song, but if someone brought a Brinks truck loaded with bundles of hundreds to your door, would you turn him away?
I’m not a huge fan of Alter Bridge’s style of music, but Miles Kennedy actually has a pretty decent voice. His song with Slash could be pretty good.
Flea was also in The Big Lebowski… so I’m cool with him. Plus I saw him at a Cavaliers game last season (well, kinda… it was from clear across the fucking arena in my nosebleed seats, but his hair was blue, which helped me spot him).
Was gonna say the same thing about him being the Big Lebowski… Fucking great film.
Bashing Technical Ecstasy is akin stealing candy from a baby: Too Damn Easy. Never Say Die, however, is an underrated classic.
Sounds like it’s gonna be quite a comedy album.
This is just a mid-life crisis sticking it’s dick up slash’s ass. unfortunately the majority of the guest list does not make for good lube.
http://a.imagehost.org/0831/slash-midlife.jpg
I’m still interested in listening to whatever the record will contain – who knows, there may be a slice of saving grace contained within…? I hope.
Seriously Axl, Alter Bridge is waayyy better than Creed and Myles Kennedy is a real talented singer AND guitar player. That song is gonna be shit cause of Slash, not Myles.
I’m expected this album to be one of the best of the decade. and no, I’m not joking. I don’t get why you’d be hating on those guests. this shit is gonna fucking kill. Slash will be able to use all the heavy riffs that Weiland wouldn’t let him use for libertad.
Maybe if Slash had chosen to work with one of the tards from Chimaira or Deftones then Metalsucks would be more receptive. LOL.
Slash is working with some true legends here and all MS can do is rip it without even hearing it. par for the course in the world of internet blogging………….where everything sucks for no apparent valid reason at all. Seriously, ripping on a song with Iggy Pop because of how they look? Ripping on a song with Kid Rock (whom I hate) because Axl got into a fight with hilfiger? Sad. One thing’s for sure, Slash’s contribution to rock music and rock history is about a billion times more valid and memorable than anything the Deftones or Chimaira has ever done or ever will do.
I read once that Miles Kennedy was jammin with Led Zeppelin, I must admit dude has talent, the best part is the Cobain One XD.. I aing even downloading this record, ILL rather listen to the Iommi (album) which at that time had better singers:
Henry Rollins of Black Flag
Skin of Skunk Anansie
Dave Grohl of Nirvana and the Foo Fighters
Phil Anselmo of Pantera and Down
Serj Tankian of System of a Down
Billy Corgan of the Smashing Pumpkins
Ian Astbury of The Cult
Peter Steele of Type O Negative
Black Sabbath bandmates Ozzy Osbourne and Bill Ward
Billy Idol
Yeah, that Iommi record was great. Ian Astbury’s track was my favorite.
Ohhhh and I forgot to say that Slash trend to do songs with with one Hit Wonder girls goes way back to 98 I guess when he work for a guitar part with an Spanish Singer called Martha Sanchez, she is 56 and full messed up surgerys. Search for it on YouTube, Slash should reform VelVet ReVolver and have the EX Fuel Brett Scallions SING Period
Nothing new for Slash, who has always been a “collaboration whore,” remember he performed live and on a single with good ol MJ. Won’t lie, I did like “Give Into Me.”
Dear Axl, i agree with you wholeheartedly and don’t let any of the bloggers change your mind. Slash was one of my childhood heros as well and this album of collaborations is no doubt going to be terrible. I just plan on pretending that Slash is dead and hold on to my memories of listening to Use Your Illusion II on my walkman in my 6th grade class on a rainy day… – Dustin
Man, I go away for a few months and come back to people defending Alter Bridge on Metalsucks. I guess people are starting to take the metalsucks site name as literal. Hell, whats next? People reading the Bible and thinking it is actually real.