«
»
Haterade

LOOK, I’VE MANAGED TO GO ALL THIS TIME WITHOUT TALKING ABOUT HOW BAD FLYFLEAF SUCK!

 Wednesday, November 11th, 2009 at 12:30pm by

flyleaf sucks

Whoops. I guess I just blew it.

Holy shit do I hate this band. It’s as though someone signed them for the sole purpose of making Evanescence look good. This chick who sings sounds like her name should be Avril Clarkson or whatever that little girl who makes me long for a Lilith Fair is called. Do people still listen to alt-metal this ridiculous sounding? I really thought Staind had killed this shit dead years ago.

And one of the members looks like a metrosexual Wolverine and one of the members looks like fucking Frankenstein’s Monster with a Danzig wig on. And I know that’s a mean thing to say and I shouldn’t judge people based on their appearance, but eat me.

In conclusion, if you like this band, you probably like Breaking Benjamin and I don’t think we can be friends because I’m just that shallow. Also, did I mention eat me?

-AR

Tags: , , ,
  • Tim-o-tato

    Woooom lolzin’ hard over here….”metrosexual wolverine”…..fucking classssic…

  • Lorenzo

    Ok…that’s great?

  • SlickerDrip

    I used to enjoy this band til I figured out they only know one chord.

    • http://www.gravatar.com/avatar/46e389eb8b79606050d3d447431ff6ac?s=80 Nate

      They know a chord? They know more than I thought they did off of first listen.

  • jackattack

    Sooooo I don’t usually complain about much, but seriously guys… there has been ZERO talk over the last week about Nile’s fucking killer new album, but we’re talking about flyleaf, Slash and fucking Aerosmith??? Let’s move on from the stupid shit that no one cares about.

    • builtforsin

      I tried to tell them…

    • Kuranes

      Also, Katatonia’s Night Is The New Day came out yesterday. It’s awesome.

      • http://www.last.fm/user/groverXIII groverXIII

        THIS.

    • SourDeez

      The new Nile is fucking great. For some reason I didn’t like their last one, even though they really haven’t changed their sound. Must be the particular riffs or something, the new one fucking slays.

    • http://www.metalophemia.com AMP

      I 1000% agree with you about the new Nile. It is amazing and the best one yet. Kafir slays my soul…

      Also, the Katatonia and Hypocrisy albums are also great!

  • SlickerDrip

    “Flyfleaf”

  • http://www.last.fm/user/groverXIII groverXIII

    I’m pretty sure they like Jesus, too. So there’s another strike against them.

    • Trux

      Not again dude…. haven`t you had enough of those stupid religious comments ??

      • http://www.last.fm/user/groverXIII groverXIII

        Hey, liking Jesus doesn’t automatically make them bad… otherwise I wouldn’t listen to Mortification, Circle Of Dust, Klank, or Believer. But it doesn’t help them.

        • http://www.gravatar.com/avatar/46e389eb8b79606050d3d447431ff6ac?s=80 Nate

          I agree with Grover. But bashing on Christians is fun. Because A. There’s a lot of them, B. They’re all almost exactly identical, C. Easy targets, and D. They just react so well.

          • Beard

            Thats what we anthropologists call ethnocentrism.

          • http://www.gravatar.com/avatar/46e389eb8b79606050d3d447431ff6ac?s=80 Nate

            I call it “Repugnant Zealotry.”

        • Trux

          well…. you may be right, only thing is that kind of comments are really getting old, dont you think ?-….

          • Trux

            aaah by the way… I am Catholic, thank you very much !

          • http://www.last.fm/user/groverXIII groverXIII

            It never gets old.

            Perhaps someday you will see the light and realize you’ve been brainwashed. I hope so.

          • http://www.gravatar.com/avatar/46e389eb8b79606050d3d447431ff6ac?s=80 Nate

            No grover, it’s US that’s brainwashed. Brainwashed by satan. Because a book, written before modern science and empirical evidence, which talks about mythological creatures, has it all right.

          • http://www.facebook.com/people/Tom-Campagna/40702766 Tom Campagna

            i don’t drink the christian kool aid either

          • SourDeez

            I heard a stand-up comic put it best.

            “Catholicism: If it feels good, stop.”

  • John

    useless article

    • http://www.gravatar.com/avatar/46e389eb8b79606050d3d447431ff6ac?s=80 Nate

      Like most of Axl’s posts.

      • John

        na that’s not true he’s a good writer, biut come on just ragging on a band for no reason besides their looks is childish. a waste of webspace.

        • http://www.gravatar.com/avatar/46e389eb8b79606050d3d447431ff6ac?s=80 Nate

          I never said they were bad. Just sort of pointless. They can be pretty enjoyable, but they’re not really why I would come to a metal blog.

    • Discipleofthewatch

      It was pretty funny. I recommend he bash on Nickleback next, or maybe that horrible “Sexy Back” song that I hear accidentally here at work sometimes. It makes me run, screaming, from the room. Pure torture to the ear and the mind.

      • http://www.gravatar.com/avatar/46e389eb8b79606050d3d447431ff6ac?s=80 Nate

        I’m going to get so much flack for this, but JT is pretty awesome.

        • http://www.last.fm/user/groverXIII groverXIII

          WHOA WHOA WHOA… there’s trolling, and then there’s this. YOU’RE OUT OF CONTROL, MAN

          • http://www.gravatar.com/avatar/46e389eb8b79606050d3d447431ff6ac?s=80 Nate

            Sadly, I’m serious. He reminds me of classic R&B.

        • joshkid

          ha. I like JT too. Sweet!
          EAT ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!

        • SourDeez

          I wouldn’t say I like JT, but I don’t hate him as much as most of the other artists I hear on the radio. And he did make Dick in a Box and Mother Lover with Andy Samberg…

  • Marc

    Thank you! Fuck this band and fuck breaking benjamin!!

  • Anthony

    Breaking Benjamin >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Flyleaf

    You’re like the people who compare BB and Shinedown

    Oh wait, Vince is the one who likes Shinedown.

    • Alkahest

      I agree. As far as post grunge goes, Chevelle and Breaking Benjamin kick the fuck out of Shinedown.

      • joshkid

        dude Shinedown kicks BB ass. Listen to Shinedowns last album and then listen to BB’s. Shinedown is way more awesome!

  • Caspar Colderson

    I like Breaking Benjamin… but on the other hand, I’m european so I don’t need to be as tr00 as everyone else.

  • Moose_Knuckle

    I saw these when they supported Korn (was a nostalgia thing) and the crowd hated them, i think the majority of the crowd was booing by the end of their set.I felt a little harsh on them as the last thing the singer said was “im sorry we ruined your night” or something. They did suck some serious balls though.

  • cougar party

    Fly Queef?

    • http://www.gravatar.com/avatar/46e389eb8b79606050d3d447431ff6ac?s=80 Nate

      Can I has your babies?

      • Discipleofthewatch

        No one should reproduce with you, seeing as how you like the Sexy Back song and are not using satire or even joking about the matter.

        • http://www.gravatar.com/avatar/46e389eb8b79606050d3d447431ff6ac?s=80 Nate

          Oh waah. I’m into R&B. Cry more. So I have other tastes than metal.

          And your retort will be something like: “yeah, I like non-metal, too, but that shit is awful”

          See, I predicted this argument.

          BESIDES that, it’s all down to personal taste, so judging someone who shares your main taste for the side-listenings is not only retarded, it is also an insult to your own intelligence.

      • cougar party

        Babies? I can get you a baby. Give me 2 grand and I can get you a baby by 5 o’clock.

        • Molti

          WITH nail polish.

  • Sammy

    The same radio stations that play Flyleaf (FlyFleaf?) also play Breaking Benjamin, Killswitch Engage, Shadows Fall, System of a Down and Black Sabbath. So…I guess if you like Killswitch and SF you must be a Flyleaf (FlyFleaf?) fan, eh?

    • http://www.last.fm/user/groverXIII groverXIII

      Dammit… now when I see their name I’m going to think Flyfleaf. Awesome. And I have no idea why.

    • Alex_P

      That makes no sense whatsoever. If your tastes are dictated by what is played on a radio-station, you’re mainstream or a poser. Furthermore, shitty radio stations will sometimes play good songs. Hell, I once heard Iron Maiden on Vancouver’s The Fox, which was the station on which I first heard the offal known as Saliva. And I don’t want to believe that there are human beings who don’t like Black Sabbath. I know it’s true, and it has to be, but it hurts too bad to think about it.

      • Sammy

        No that wasn’t my point. I was making the (clumsy) point that someone who likes Flyleaf wouldn’t necessarily like Breaking Benjamin. Whether you like or both or think both are terrible, they’re nothing alike.

    • SourDeez

      When I was younger, I remember hearing Puddle of Mudd followed by Tool on K-Rock like every fuckin day. Sometimes radio stations sprinkle sugar on their turds.

  • SHOCKTROOP

    when I realized which one was frankenstein’s mother with a danzig wig on, i damn near pissed my fucking pants. holy shit thats funny

    • Kuranes

      Brilliant.

  • http://lordsofmetal.nl/index.php?lang=en Cavorka

    I know I said this before(I think so)but here it goes: The band sucks….BUT I wouldn’t mind fucking their singer in the mouth though!

  • Sean

    While I wouldn’t consider myself a fan, I think they are more tolerable to listen to than most of the metalcore crap that gets heralded around here, like Killswitch Engage. Can’t speak to Breaking Benjamin since I’ve never heard them but sounds like that is a good thing.

  • PatrickSTL

    I like both Flyleaf and B.Benjamin so I guess we can’t be friends.
    And I am not a radio, jock, idiot.
    I am going to school to be a zoologist, and am relatively smart.

    Just because you don’t like these bands, doesnt mean they suck.

    The new Flyleaf album is good, and her vocals are unique and she has alot of passion.
    New Breaking Benjamin, while being their worst, is still a good album.

    I hate alot of radio/post grunge/alt metal/ hard rock bands but the ones at the top are really great.
    Breaking Benjamin, Chevelle, 10 Years, Flyleaf, etc.

    They are not the same kind of band that Shinedown is, or Hinder, etc.

    • http://www.gravatar.com/avatar/46e389eb8b79606050d3d447431ff6ac?s=80 Nate

      I want to kill you for being so stupid, but I’ll point this out:

      Musically speaking, flyleaf is retarded. VERY retarded. So retarded in fact, that your post actually manages to muster up more musical intelligence than they do, which is saddening.

      • Discipleofthewatch

        Being a smart zoologist and having good taste in music aren’t necessarily related…

        But they DO suck, those bands!

        I have received an A in Physiology, Chemistry, Biology, and many English classes, but have never mentioned before it due to the complete lack of relevance here.

        • BEHEMOHAWK

          Ahhahaahaa…

          haha…

        • SourDeez

          I major in MUSIC…and FlyLeaf definitely sucks.

    • DustintheWind

      Just out of pure curiosity where are you from? Live now?

      • DustintheWind

        PatrickSTL that is…because all those bands you mentioned are absolutely horrible

  • Michelle

    The guy in the far left looks like William Muderface’s gay and non-metal brother.

  • PaxlRose

    That chick’s singing is godawful.

  • http://themetalgrinder.com Matt Kraatz

    Their first EP was fucking great, but their shit just got more and more produced and their latest record is a pile.

  • Watt Par

    Not to be a nit-picky fuck-head, but if they suck bad, doesn’t that mean they’re good?

    • http://www.gravatar.com/avatar/46e389eb8b79606050d3d447431ff6ac?s=80 Nate

      No no, the double negative is “bad at sucking.”

  • You Don’t Know Me

    THANK YOU! I’ve had people try to convince me about how this band is supposedly “good”. Their music sounded dated from the get go.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Tom-Campagna/40702766 Tom Campagna

    post grunge is all essentially trash. you can’t even compare any of them to the classic Alice In Chains Soundgarden, Nirvana, Mother Love Bone, Melvins (to an extent) and Stone Temple Pilots. Also i really don’t care for Pearl Jam much

    • SlickerDrip

      And somehow you neglected the boys that started the whole thing. Mudhoney kicks the ass of every band you mentioned.

      • http://www.facebook.com/people/Tom-Campagna/40702766 Tom Campagna

        you know the sad thing is i don’t have any of their stuff can you make a suggestion

        • SlickerDrip

          I’d recommend Since We’ve Become Translucent, Superfuzz Bigmuff, Every Good Boy Deserves Fudge, and Tomorrow Hit Today. Each album seems to get poppier and more commercial than the last though, so some of the newer records might not have too much appeal if you’re averse to a more polished sound. I’d dig their bluesier stuff.

  • Tim-o-tato

    Some awesome comments on this post….keep up the good work. Remember to hate yourselves…
    P.S. +1000 to whoever said they want to mouth fuck her….lolz

  • 6infinite6hatred6

    The fact that Breaking Benjamin even has mention on this site, and the fact that AR actually went out of his way to write a Haterade article on Flyleaf worries me. We already know Flyleaf sucks.

  • William Grimmkvlt

    I’d probably do the singer but then again my standards are pretty low. The only problem is she’s a Christian so she’ll probably go on about Jebus and my soul after I did her. I wonder if she’s one of those “technical virgin” Christian girls that believe in saving vaginal sex for marriage but oral and anal sex before marriage is acceptable.

  • http://refreshingapathy.com Rick Heil

    Hey Axl, guess what? Fuck you, I like them. They’re my guilty-pleasure band, kinda like you probably listen to Brokencyde every once in a while and manage not to tear your eyeballs out. But really, I’m just following the band in hopes that the bitch pulls a Kristen Randall and flashes tits at the camera. Lets be honest. Tits totally make any band not quite as gay.

    • SlickerDrip

      So any Dino Cazares project is automatically not gay.

      • Dirtman73

        Whew, just had to wipe my eyes. That vuz goot!!!

  • Kye

    Saw these guys for free once…I think I deserve a refund for that show.

    That being said, I like about 5 songs by them. I also like Breaking Benjamin. And Evanescence. SOOO there ya go.

  • Ryan

    I met a few of them after a show working in Milwaukee at the Rave. Not a big fan of their music, but they are VERY cool people.

  • Lady Death

    Thank you! Besides the new Slayer cd and Modern Warfare 2 this is the greatest birthday present ever!

    Seriously though, they suck donkey penis. I think the singer knows it. I’d whine too if I was that bad.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Tom-Campagna/40702766 Tom Campagna

    these assholes would prob like this too http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oM0oBuhTLRI

  • d00shc00gr

    Thank you Axl. I hate this band, too. It doesn’t help their case that their style of alt-not-really-metal sucks; I, in fact hate them because they’re christian rock and I’m also shallow like that

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Andrew-Francis/682620709 Andrew Francis

    if u dont like them y are they advertised on the side of ur page?

    • http://www.kingdomofnoise.blogspot.com MetalMatt

      $$$

  • Carbonthief

    Mother of God do I ever hate Flyleaf too. That voice… every time I hear it… I want to stab my ears out. Her voice makes me want to stab my fucking ears out FUCK.

  • http://www.kingdomofnoise.blogspot.com MetalMatt

    at least you got it out of your system. they are terrible.

  • http://jas09.deviantart.com/ jas09

    OK, I dislike Flyleaf’s music, but I don’t whale on them for being committed Christians. I enjoy As I Lay Dying, Frost Like Ashes, Horde, and Zao. I don’t care about a band’s ideology-unless it’s NSBM, I hate that retarded shit-I care about whether or not they deliever on the music front. Flyleaf is basically bubbly pop music with mallcore guitars. It wouldn’t matter if Flyleaf suddenly started torching Bibles and reading up on Richard Dawkins, it still wouldn’t compensate for their awful, AWFUL music. Over and out.