FUNNY PHOTO CAPTION CONTEST: WIN A HEAVY METAL KILLERS VINYL AND SCARF!
Thursday, November 12th, 2009 at 5:00pm by Vince Neilstein
The winner to last week’s funny photo caption contest was a no-brainer:
Nick Muffins Hochmuth: “I present a new breed of disgrace to humanity… The Joggalo.”
Well done sir! You’ll be receiving a Katatonia prize pack in the mail. This week we’re giving away 5 prize packages courtesy of Earache Records. Three 1st place winners will receive a Heavy Metal Killers compilation vinyl and a Heavy Metal Killers scarf (pictured here). Two runners-up will just receive a scarf. Yup, a scarf. Scarves are metal. They keep you warm! And it’s getting cold out there, kids. No one wants to be that dude at the show wearing shorts when it’s below freezing outside… that dude is such an asshole. Being warm is metal. There’s even a band called Scarve and they’re pretty rad.
So, just come up with a caption to the below photo [sent in by kenneth szidar] and they shall be yours.
I DO COCAAAAAAAAAINE!
yo this isn’t cool…that’s my girlfriend
http://lookatthisfuckinhipster.com/view/latfh-pics/168
stolen from a gay website by a gay person obviously that pic is from november 2nd
Rosie, in the old days just trying to make a buck
Having arrived too late for the buffet, ziltoids mom was forced to eat her own foot.
HA
Actually Im sure Ziltoid’s mom is a total MILF and all of his friend gives him shit for it.
Yep. Definatley stepped in dog poop.
(nom nom nom)
Stacy Wylde, sister to Zakk Wylde, practices the family tradition of putting one’s foot in one’s mouth.
WIN
Rocky Horror Picture Show…..gone wrong!
or right
For the 12th year in a row, Nick Barham dresses as Roseanne for Halloween. He needs neither costume nor candy.
Former Attack Attack! singer’s new glam project seems to be coming along quite nicely.
Win
Smart move, it’s obvious that they want an Attack Attack ! joke on this one…
Damn! Meg White has really let herself go.
Weeks later after quitting the band. Rosie O’Donnel is found in China eating his(her?) own foot for money thanks to the flyer she posted on craigslist.
THIS IS A TASTY BURGER.
MMM MMMM BITCH
great reference
There was a mixed reaction as Bill Clinton’s private photo collection leaked onto the internet.
This made me laugh. Kudos.
No one wanted to go with Rosie O’Donnell to prom, I wonder why?
Waiting for the results of a Roseanne look-a-like contest can prove tasking when you haven’t eaten in 3 minutes. Wrapping your foot in gold will improve aesthetic
Remember Slash’s groupies in the 90ies?
David Carradine
1936 – 2009
R.I.P.
When told by the doctors that the spot on her right leg was caused by a slow-working flesh eating virus. She took it a little too seriously.
omg i cant believe i didn’t make the play!.!.
Come out tonight to check out heavy metal’s newest glam act: FUPA!
For the uninitiated: Fat Upper Pussy Area
Also referred to as a “gunt”
or BIF
butt in front
“My foot is still smaller than Peter Steele’s cock..”
A fine example of your average metal chick.
only she’s actually at a passion pit show.
Is this giving anyone else a huge boner?
It does if I imagine this is what Lady Gaga will look like in three years.
This is what I picture hell to look like.
NEW FOX TV SHOW… Satanic Possessions Gone Wrong
Mortiis’s toe sucking addiction has spiraled out of control.
The most disturbing thing about this photo is that someone actually managed to supress their gag reflex long enough to take it.
Karen Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
Yeah, Karen O. came to mind, too. I just didn’t make a comment because I wasn’t sure if a whole lot of people would know who she was.
yeah that’s what i thought too, but i actually like karen o. oh no, im gona get slayed for saying that.
Yeah, I love Karen O. I think she’s hot as fuck in a way that she’s hot because she’s cool, eventhough her looks aren’t bad. She’s just not high on the scale if she’s an average chick.
Damn good one.
hey look, it’s a fat slut trying to eat her own shoe.
I always laugh when someone takes the direct approach.
“Wuzzat gum trash?”
“Ida’no, lemme check …”
…
“Yea – I musta stepped all’uh taste outtav it.”
A fat chick ouroboros.
Off topic: Noone seems to have mentioned The Company Band’s album is out.
And it’s awesome…
…and after Goatse got old… we intoduced Beth Ditto to the net.
Dammit Vince, now everybody on the Internet knows what I look like. Thanks a lot, asshole.
Bjork’s latest album cover.
i’m completely embarrassed to say that i know this individual.
Considering she’s in a pretty well known band, i bet you’re not the only one and really shouldn’t be since she does this shit all the time.
Good lad, admitting it is the first step.
For future reference if you’re trying to impress people by casually alluding to the fact you know a celebrity on a close and personal basis, I have two suggestions.
a) Make sure it’s not this fat fuck to whom you are referring.
b) Post your nonchalant name droppings on a website whose key demographic wouldn’t rather hear how you dismembered and defiled the torso of the douche bag in question.
Good lad, admitting it is the first step.
For future reference if you’re trying to impress people by casually alluding to the fact you know a celebrity on a close and personal basis, I have two suggestions.
a) Make sure it’s not this fat fuck to whom you are referring.
b) Post your nonchalant name droppings on a website whose key demographic wouldn’t rather hear how you dismembered and defiled the torso of the douche bag in question.
the origin of swine flu
Please make sure this dude gets one of the prizes.
haha and i did! awesome. thanks!
The Great Kat has really let herself go since her Julliard days
Obeset undead, much like their living counter parts, aren’t very picky when it comes to food.
Alex Borestein’s attempt at impersonating the Flyleaf singer. Oh wait, that’s not an impersonation.
While pleased that his (sorry, her) sex-change operation resulted in a restored hairline, Kirkina Hammett did not expect it to result in the rare, and decidedly unsexy, side effect of PotatoSackitis.
how the fuck do you look at this pic and think kirk hammet?!?!?!?!?
You’re right, this is clearly Lars
the kinda chick Ziltoid is into
Screw you, I told you I’m flexible and in shape! Round is soooo a shape!
I always wondered what woman took Gene Simmons’s virginity
What do we do if there’s nothing funny about what I’m looking at?
Just a typical friday night with Jack Black
After being cut off from her family’s money, and her career in ruins, Kelly Osbourne resorts to self-cannibalism for sustenance.
look at that fuckin hipster
While Pat Benatar still firmly believes that hell is for children, she is now equally convinced that feet are for eating.
Mmmm…I’d love to be those shorts…
this is what happens when rosie o’donnell takes a ride on lady gaga’s disco stick.
When Aladdin made his wish for 600 pounds of gold, Genie gave him exactly that.
hahahaha well played!
Please make sure this dude gets a prize, too.
Ladies and gentlemen, here to perform her new hit single, here’s Lady GaGa with “Bad Romance”!!!
Can we please throw a “Metalsucks” XXXL shirt over that?
In other news, scientists successfully traced the source of the H1N1 flu pandemic to Terry Mogglebush, runner-up in the “Miss America for Kids with Sweaty Cellulite, Birthmarks-you-wish-were-spilled-chocolate and Other Unsightly Deformities Pangeant.” Critics have agreed that while her special talent of licking the brutally crushed insects off her shoes may have briefly succeeded in achieving her dream of “ending world hunger”, the same cannot be said for “ending world sickness.” Viewers of the following image unanimously agree.
This is how I’m practicing to suck Tommy Lee’s dick, because nobody else will let me near their’s.
1 Girl 1,000 Problems
Former Attack! Attack! member dines on Pigs Feet.
Hilary Clinton after receiving the Heavy Metal Killers vinyl as a Christmas gift
The lost member of CHTHONIC, Boris Thunder Thighs
Facepaint: 3 dollars
Gold-flecked dance shoes: 17 dollars
Paying a vagrant to photograph you under an overpass: Hand-job
Having the MetalSucks #1 album of the century written about you: PRICELESS.
(That’s Mastodon’s “Leviathan” fyi)
The snozzberries taste like snozzberries!
all i have to say, there’s nothing funny about that photo.
*shudder
Heroine.
Because everyone needs a hobby.
YUM! CANKLES!!
I don’t even have a caption, that image is just disturbing. Aieeeee.
http://www.amazon.com/Push-Novel-Sapphire/dp/0679766758
Amy Whinehouse ate Courtney Love for stealing her last 8ball.
Failing to find a fellow rug munching enthusiast willing to brave an attack from the furby growing on her leg, Beth Ditto decided to eat herself. Missing the point entirely.
Kelly Osborne shows Dad that despite her lack of musical ability she still has skills
Proof of Artie Lange and Ms. Swan’s lost night together
Gene Simmons as a kid, learning there is no difference between stupidity and putting one’s foot in one’s mouth.
Sadly you are looking at the bastard child that is Billy Milano before he was in S.O.D. he was a full time transvestite prostitute with a specialty in foot fetishes…
In a failed comeback bid, Marilyn Manson desperately tries to be shocking once again.
There goes Liv Kristine’s argument……………………….
That woman has a problem. It’s not her fault she thought her eyes can eat chocolate and that her mouth is a fungus remover.
“Just wait ’till you see what I do with the other foot, lover.”
“Silver’s just another gold, Mr. Broadrick…”
+1
“well sir, we didn’t think it was physically possible, but it appears that Karen O unhinged her jaw and just swallowed Dino Cazares whole”
“AWW MOM!!! Not again?!”
Early Kiss gimmick. While impressed with Gene’s dexterity, Ace, Paul and Peter agreed “shoe eating” was not as cool as spitting blood and fire.
Revolver’s latest “Hottest Chicks In Metal” issue signals the magazine’s final death throes.
It’s hard to believe that Karen O was once hot, that was like…… 20 years ago.
You may have been a good juggalette, but now you’re Bantha fodder!
A confused Otep finds her new purchase less pleasurable than she bargained for.
The long lost twin sister of Dethklok’s adopted son or Mimi Bobeck and Courtney Love’s lesbian love child? The answer on today’s “Maury”.
Dino’s wife
mom??
Rosie O’Donnell was distressed to learn that her band, Foot Fetish, had not qualified for Metalsucks’s “Reader-Suggested Metal Bands That Happen to Have at Least One Member with a Vagina” category.
The saxophonist/vocalist from the Sigh cover-band Yawn stretching before a show
The English language is insufficient for this, but the Japanese probably have a word for it.
Didn’t know Billy Milano had a sex change.
If you experience an erection lasting more than four hours, call your doctor immediately. Or just check this out!
Like Button
The keyboardist that didn’t get past Winds of Plague’s audition process.
Revolver Hottest Chick in Metal, circa ‘82.
Carnie Wilson makes a pathetic attempt to join the circus.
The ATTACK ATTACK! Vocalist auditions appear to be off to a good start.
Godammit, another Courtney Love story?!! Oh, wait…
I guess you really can have your cankle and eat too
This is the only one so far that made me laugh out loud. lol Well played sir.
thank you sir. i think it needs a bit of editing:
“I guess you really can have your cankle and eat it too”
“Impressive. Now lick the mole on your leg, and then maybe ill buy you a drink.”
there is no caption you can add to this to improve upon it. It is already perfect all on it’s own
I felt the same way after i heard Rob Halfords Christmas album
It appears Courtney Love has finally gotten off of smack.
She ran out of food after listening to My Chemical Romance.
Gene Simmons walked into the shoe store today…
I too, wrestled a bear once.
Look! I can play the Guitar as well as Fred Durst!
The Yeah Yeah Yeah’s vocalist figured this might be the only way to get her band on the “Maps”.
even Anthony Bourdain has reservations
A visual interpretation of Dave Mustaine’s state of mind when he decided to cover “These Boots.”
The real Fear Factory.
Welp… After seeing this picture, I guess I’m going out on the front lawn and blowing my brains out.
You have the look for Attack Attack!, but the CRAB is so last August, would you have any new moves for … oh my!! YOU’RE HIRED!!
I’m just glad that’s not the dick I originally thought it was.
I thought it was “funny” photo caption, this made me want to puke
the RINGU girl finally figured out what she had to do to fit back into the TV.
Hopefully the gum on my shoes still good for eating
“I seriously do a lot of Cocaine”
seriously……
i’m glad to se the chicks in metal column is biased
The above subject said she had become so fat that zombies wouldn’t bite her; she put her foot in her mouth right before the infection took hold.
Glam Metal Girlfriend: The “Now” Shot.
I’d give her a shot…
“Man, I kicked a Juggalo! The infection is spreading!”
Realizing she was uglier than the mix of Death Magnetic the lead singer of the Yeah Yeah Yeahs ate herself to death
“Sinking into a state of depression after learning I was obese… I decided I would eat the fat away…. Is it working???”
The Donnas trying to appeal to the metal market … um missed?
Fukpig groupie audition.
Marilyn Manson and Rosanne Barr’s illegitimate child…also the new guitar player in MM’s band.
Come on, Alex Borstein. Talk like Lois so I can rub one out on that liver spot.
“Hey Rosie, those shorts are giving you a camel toe!”
“Huh? My toes look fine….”
taste fine….
the new toe to mouth dance coming to a hardcore show near you
Bacon tastes itself and is pleased.
Hey now, this chick’s eating for two. She’s pregnant with her sister.
Its not nice to make fun of retards people.
NO! Just NO!
Revrant’s girlfriend decides her foot tastes better than his dick.
When death metal album covers fail to shock…the next step?
Rosie O’Donnell didn’t listen to Bill Hicks. Here she is warming up to suck satan’s cock in order for her mediocre shit rock bank, Attack! Attack!, to get a record deal. What’s that Rosie, no talent? Satan’s got you covered. Now SUCK SATAN’S COCK.
Kelly Osbourne portrayed in the movie 2012
Ann Wilson of Heart after being on a fat farm for an entire month, decided that the diet was too much and decided to go Hannibal Lecter on herself and eat her foot and get some much needed fat in her diet.
Just think what I could reach if I lost some weight!!
THE HEROIN IN MY TOES
IT’S SO
HEROIN
i dont have a caption but after seeing that i might just go gay
Mom?!?!?
Anna Nicole Smiths dont die, they live under bridges.
Succumbing to the overwhelming influence of his hunger, Dino Cazares enjoys the delicacy known as pig’s feet…
Post apocalyptic Karen-O from the yeah yeah yeah’s after going on a cannibalistic rampage to only consume herself. what a beautiful woman.
courtney love .. on a good day
The foot in mouth is just circumstance.
She’s merely trying to show off the lastest flesh-eating virus spreading through the nation of trendy, haircut-oriented youth : The Crabcore Crab-sore.
Lady Gaga changes her look for her upcoming co-headlining tour with Marilyn Manson
remember when you said that you;d eat your foot if you ever left Attack! Attack! ? yeah…
kelly osbourne practicing for Dancing with the Stars
id do her for free shit from metal sucks!
Man Grady from Will Haven has really let himself go…
Ozzy, thinking he had seen it all, was shocked to discover the real reason why MTV had canceled the Osbourne family’s reality show.
Pig squeal !
At this point in time our well rounded friend says to herself “Fuck my life”.
This is not an entry, but…well, that picture is just not horrifying enough, so…
http://i.imagehost.org/0874/horrorgirlthingy.jpg
Never had a woman, never had a woman like you
Eating all the things, eating all the things you do
Chicken cacciatore, two dozen ice cream cones
But now you have to squat, stepped in beef bourguignon
You’re a whole lotta woman, a whole lotta woman
Whole lotta Rosie
wow, kelly osbournes looking really good lately!
Damn, if this isn’t an advert for your local AA meeting, it should be….
No, no…this is not the trick…I’m just lubing it up!
look at this fuckin hipster
that girl is actually the lead singer of band called The Gossip
http://www.myspace.com/thegossip
oh god, i just threw up in my mouth.
yeah i said shrooms is a fungus but your getting desperate!
bjork has finally ran out of crazy video ideas
No wonder Gaahl is gay now, He saw this fat tub of sad run backstage at a fashion show
If Karen O of the Yeah Yeah Yeahs and the Asian lady from Mad TV had a child, then pissed on it.
i set that as my friends background picture and his computer froze….
is that kelly osbourne?
After repeated death-threats by former FF members, Dino hires a food-taster.
After guaranteeing that Megadeth and Slayer would never tour together and insisting that she’s still a size 6, Sara had one and only one thing she could do…
Steve Perry has really let himself go after leaving Journey.
i wanna fuck her with a knife
“So Hungry.. Must eat!”
Five dollar happy ending??
Man, the first episode of Roseanne is fucking WEIRD.
So this is what freddie mercury ment by fat bottom girls [Hmmmm!!!] looks like shes on a one healed toe licking acid trip and man put this up as an anti drug poster in the high schools and…. heck every kid would be scared to take spoon full off Night Q yet alone a baby asprin.
They definitly wouldn’t aspire to the harder stuff. they probably be afrid that the gal in this pick would attack thier shoes EX: Like a Pit Bull to a Steak.