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What the fuck??

NERGAL’S GOT RED HOT MORNING WOOD

 Friday, November 13th, 2009 at 4:00pm by

Not only is Behemoth’s Nergal a country singer with no sense of humor, but apparently he’s also a commercial star in his native Poland. I haven’t the foggiest idea what these clips are about or what’s being said in them, but they are automatically fucking hilarious by way of Nergal’s presence. Thanks to MS reader “Fersas” for sending them in.

All joshing aside, Behemoth’s Evangelion was undoubtedly one of the best metal releases of 2009 and it’s sure to make its way onto several MS staffers’ year-end lists.

-VN

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  • Lybrium

    Does this not seem hauntingly familiar to that show about Carmen Electra and Dave Navarro?

    Anyway Evangelion WAS a damn good album, and I think to complete his star image, Nergal should use that pretty pink guitar live from now on.

  • Metalguy

    What the fuck was that

  • Cooper

    …the fuck?

  • kb

    Its because he’s dating a pop star in Poland, he’s become a household name over there.

    And don’t these clips prove that he DOES have a sense of humor?

  • sdgggggf

    I’m pretty sure the girl in the commercial is his pop star wife… basically the Christina Aguilera of Poland

  • http://www.last.fm/user/groverXIII groverXIII

    That was fucking bizarre, but he obviously has some sense of humor.

  • fasshole

    Do you guys actually think that’s Nergal? It’s obviously not.

  • http://raiseyerfists.wordpress.com raiseyerfists

    Yeah that is clearly not Nergal. His forehead is waaaaay bigger than that. I think that’s his hot girlfriend though.

    • Jesus

      he’s the nicholas cage of death metal

  • Tim-o-tato

    Yea, no way is that Nergal…..that was just some queef posing lol

  • Shinaain

    I can’t view the video at work to see what you’re talking about, but I CAN tell you that there’s some variety TV show in Poland that runs weekly skits about Nergal and his girl – spoofing their “odd” relationship and speculating what their lives must be like. I wonder if that’s what this is. I’m told it’s quite popular. Apparently, the whole country is obsessed with them now.

    Strange turn of events, considering the fact that the rest of the world has always cared more about Behemoth than has their home country. It would appear all it took to turn the tide of public opinion was Nergal’s taste in women. Under any other circumstances, I would say “Sucks to be that guy,” but maybe it’s nice for them to take whatever break they can get with their countrymen.

  • thebenthic

    if this were anyone else id say they were gay, but its nergal, and the guy cant do no wrong, i mean its fuckin BEHEMOTH.

    but it didnt look like nergal though.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Simon-Threadgate/1049955838 Simon Threadgate

      So you’re saying it’s gay? Because it’s clearly not Nergal, apart from the obvious fact that it’s not, he is extensively tattood on his arms, and the guy on the video is certainly not.

  • 2na

    Good job metalsucks on fact checking again

    • http://www.gravatar.com/avatar/46e389eb8b79606050d3d447431ff6ac?s=80 Nate

      I don’t think they know what that phrase means…

  • bucketochicken

    Still funny though. Not as funny as the Comic Book Guy-esque responses on here, but still, pretty funny.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jason-Crispen/100000169530540 Jason Crispen

      worst. reply. ever.

  • JHanneman

    I want Nergal’s wood

  • great

    Great job metalsucks. Take a break from sucking the binary cock to actually research the things you post about.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Vince-Edwards/184804344 Vince Edwards

      Zing! Pretty sure that’s not Nergal, but definitely can find out for you guys if you really want to know.

      • Shinaain

        Don’t bother: I just watched it and I can tell you it’s NOT him (or her, for that matter). It IS that Polish TV show.

      • http://www.facebook.com/people/Rik-Powell/286400508 Rik Powell

        Anyone with working eyes and any idea of who Nergal is would be able to tell that that’s not him.

  • Marc

    Pretty funny.

  • nick

    Yea yea, Polish skit about death metal satan guy dating some pop princess…. sigh,
    What I really want to know is how she got such a kickin acoustic tone out of her electric!

  • Carlo

    lol’d at her shirt in the second video

  • http://keenesh.wordpress.com keenesh

    Guys, these videos are made by famous Polish tv star/comic Szymon Majewski for his weekly show Szymon Majewski Show. I’m from Poland so I can tell for sure – that’s not Nergal and Doda, just actors that usually cast in these skits for Majewski.
    P.S. It’s really weird when u see guy like Nergal everyday on tv, even in programmes for housewives, and in gossipy newspapers. And it’s sad, that they are doing it only because he’s kinda in fashion now in Poland, and not because they want to promote music.

  • F

    Lmfao, another post by MS that’s completely incorrect. I can’t believe that you, or the reader who sent it in, actually thought that was Nergal in those videos. Wow…

    • LilalCFH

      This. Kinda sad really.

  • g

    one of these days, vince and axl will learn how to post a youtube video without completely fucking up the description of what it is

  • Celts67

    I really do enjoy some of the funny stuff Axl and Vince write about on here, but it is obvious when it comes to the extreme end of the Metal spectrum, they haven’t a clue what the fuck they’re talking about. Take ‘Core off the end of a band’s style and they’re both lost.

  • rachel

    Speaking of random Nergal facts, does anyone know if his Wiki page is completely accuarate? I saw something on there that said he has been through 6 years of college and is qualified to be a museum curator. Can he make a history of black metal museum?

  • czak

    jeeez, of course it’s not Nergal, nor is it his girlfriend Doda.
    In this show Nergal is being played by this guy here: http://www.dziennik.pl/files/archive/00039/PG070314_005_39340l.jpg
    Szymon Majewski – he is a Polish comedian.

    Anyway, it’s not like the country is obsessed with Nergal. It’s all about his girlfriend. It’s literally as if Britney Spears was dating Dani Filth, so everyone is scratching their heads wondering why the hell she;s doing that. Especially that she’s a dumb bitch who used to date footballers and post sex tapes on internet.

  • soup

    either way, it’s funny?