HELLO, MY NAME IS DEVIN. CAN I TAKE YOUR STINKIN’ ORDER?
Tuesday, November 17th, 2009 at 9:00am by Devin Townsend
Yo cats, I’m Devin Townsend. I’m a middle class, white Canadian male. I am bald with bad teeth and I am 37 years old. I used to front a band called Strapping Young Lad. I have put out around twenty albums between SYL and my solo records over the last eighteen or so years. I have a record label called HevyDevy Records that distributes my records to the the best of our ability. I produce and mix bands. I have done some great work and some shitty work. I don’t really care about downloading because the industry changed and I have never sold enough records for me to make more than a normal living. Please have a great day and thanks for any and all support.
I am in the middle of a four record project called “The Devin Townsend Project.” Ironically enough, and EGADS!, today I am taking over one of my favorite websites, MetalSucks.
I have a ton of things on my mind today, please enjoy… even if you hate my fucking guts, hopefully I can provide you with some cool stuff to chew on.
HOTCHA!
-Devin Townsend
And you fuckin’ rock!!!!
Omg the greatest post on this site.
Do us all a favor, and put your socks and shoes back on…you already suck, you don’t need to stink too!
Shut up and think of something more important to say…
Same goes to you, jackass.
Okay.
Sometimes I think that in every straight there’s a gay!
That wasn’t important.
Little child your time is up…please turn the heat up!
I actually was to focused on hanging with my kids to even notice you’d released Ki until, like, yesterday. Oh, baldheaded male, what should I do to repent for this atrocity?
All hail Devin Townsend! Addicted is awesome, can’t wait for Decon! =D and don’t listen to that arsehat.
In all seriousness, I dont think i have found anyone who doesnt like Devins music.
I blaired some SYL this morning and my dad thought it was too loud. I told him he doesn’t understand good music.
Hevy Devy
Welcome to the suck!
And it’s about damn time we get a post before 10! Now I can stop doing work an hour earlier than normal!
Can’t wait to pick up your album at lunch! Should be phenomenal!!!
Hello Devin,
If you’re reading – please produce the next Soilwork album!
+++++++++++++
Fuck yeah DEVIN!!!
Has anyone ever told you that in that picture you look like Timothy Olyphant in the Hitman movie?
Just sayin’.
Oh, and your music is excellent.
Coolio.
This is exciting.
MOAR DEVIN MUSIC
And you are warmly welcomed, Mr Townsend! :)
Who paid or sucked off who to make this happen?
i paid money for your records so i like, appreciate your thanks & stuff.
Devin is one of my favorite artists in the world. really. no exaggeration.
also we got the same birthday! CINCO DE MAYO!
handle the Sucks today man. cant wait.
nice abe lincoln quote on the from page mr. townsend.
Devin who??
Surely, you’re joking.
Welcome to the site!
Oh, and who makes your guitar in that pic? I’ve been hunting for a 7-string V forever!
And great music, bro!
Grymm – it’s a custom peavey.
Looking forward to the posts today!
Thanks for being my beacon of light in an art form that I consider near-dead and tainted.
Oh yeah thanks for doing this too.
PS: I’ve got a boner for that Peavey prototype.
I’ve always wondered how you could afford a home studio with your record sales… you deserve so much better it’s not funny.
Love your work (all of it!), and can’t wait for the rest of today.
Great intro! Looking forward to your other posts, and especially looking forward to seeing you with Cynic this January.
This day just got infinitely more interesting. Huzzah!!
HevyDevy needs to release “City” on LP!!!
Please have my children Devin.
Loved you ever since you were with Vai
Couldn’t be worse than ZitLord or whomever last subede on this site.
Welcome a aboard good sir!
Things are looking good thus far Mr. Townsend. My day will only get better if the gods of Amazon.com and the US postal service deliver your latest work in the mail today.
Devin…. why didn’t they get you to play the Hitman from the movie Hitman? Probably would have been a better movie… and you look perfect for the part…
Oh No! Addicted is not on eMusic yet.
I came
I’m still chewing on Addicted. But one thing remains unquestionable- Anneke is a godess! If I could marry a voice it would be hers… It’s beyond everything. Esp. on The Gathering’s Mandylion and HTMAP.
Devin’s alright, too.
We love you here in the UK too Devin!
We really do !
Why didn’t you tour Vegas Devin? Now I have to drive to LA to see you! I’m not worth to recieve feedback from you, I’m not worthy!
SENOR Devin Townsend mi hermanao bienvenido al “Metal Apesta” aqui en Republica Dominicana Escuchamos su musica y caigale un dia para ke se de par de Dominicanas como tiene ke ser: MR. DEVIN TOWSEND, MY BROTHER WELCOME TO METALSUCKS, We long time listeners here in DR, come to DR and feel the flva of our Dominican Womans.. HAILLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL
DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUDE!!! You’re the man Devin. I’m really pissed that I go to school in Halifax ’cause I really want to see that tour you’re doing with BTBAM, Cynic, and Scale the Summit. That could be one of the greatest packages ever. Really considering flying to Toronto or Mtl to catch one of those shows. Ziltoid fuckin’ rocked btw, one of the best records I heard from ‘07. Also, your parts on the Human Equation were some of the best on that album. Just keep doin’ what you’re doin’ Devin. You Rock!!
Mr Townsend, thank you, My friend Arose show me “Love?”, and HOLY SHIT was that heavy, damn
It’s true, it’s really really true!! I heard about it, but I had to see for myself. Please leave MetalSucks in Mr. Townsend’s hands permanently.
I say we sack Axl and Vince and make Devin Townsend the owner of devintownsendsucks.net!
Man, I LOVE A&W burgers! those new sirloin ones… mmmmm
Thank you for all the wonderful music, Devin!
I think you should get a beard or some other type of facial hair. Moustache would be EPIC and really fucking stupid :]
The results are back, turns out Devin is objectively the best.
btbam is better
Devin you are the man!
Strapping Young Lad rocks my hairy anus!
Mr Townsend, I would hate you far less, had you not asked me personally to suck your cock just for standing in the front row.