If there was any doubt as to whether or not Winds of Plague are a pure marketing gimmick, such doubts should be laid to rest by the revolving cast of female keyboard players that have graced magazine covers the ranks of the band. Metal Insider reports that Wikipedia claims [see what I did there?] that the band has now had SIX keyboard players, the last three of them female, and that Alana Potocnik — formerly of The Breathing Process and Abigail Williams — has just replaced Lisa Marx, who herself replaced Kristen Randall only two months ago.

Apparently Marx couldn’t learn the parts in time for the band’s “California Love Tour,” which is surprising because, ya know, the ability to play the music should be THE FIRST consideration for ANY band. But having a pretty face on stage is way more important than that trivial little nuance, right?

Maybe some day she’ll show her boobs like her predecessor Kristen Randall. That page is STILL in the Top 5 most-visited pages on this site over a year later, you fucking hornballs.

-VN