END YOUR MONDAY WITH SOME SHITTY NEWS
Monday, November 30th, 2009 at 5:00pm by Axl RosenbergAfter the jump is some incredibly depressing news. DO NOT READ IT UNLESS YOU ARE IN A VERY GOOD PLACE IN YOUR LIFE AND CAN HANDLE THE ABSOLUTE CRAPPINESS OF THIS NEWS. Seriously. I told Vince and he started weeping. You’ve been warned.
Ready?
Are you sure?
Okay… here it is…
There is going to be a new Limp Bizkit album in 2010.
It is going to be called Gold Cobra.
Before you contemplate suicide, remember that Pig Destroyer have a new album coming out next year, too. Hopefully their grindy goodness will counterbalance the pure evil that is music’s worst of the worst.
-AR
i actually just dont care
QFT
OH SHIT! I WANNA DIE RIGHT NOW!!! but I must hear new Pig Destroyer first…
is Fred Durst wearing an NSYNC shirt?
why Wes Borland, why? I liked Black Light Burns.
yes! he is wearing a NSync shit….and wes needs money and doesn’t have anymore life skills to count on.
Black Light Burns was pretty good. I got to see them live too!
I can’t think of anything to say, except that the rest of this day is ruined.
Viva Nu Metal?
no care
Ok, so they do, no one will buy it, they’ll tour but ultimately end up selling tickets for a quarter because no one will pay real money to see them. This is how it goes, right?
Unfortunately, something tells me things will go the exact opposite direction. Sucks.
Yeah, man. Clear Channel is gonna have the single on EVERY rock radio station AT LEAST 3 times an hour until the album “ships platinum” and they tour smaller arenas
That’s the sad truth. More fodder for the armies of stupid frat boys so that they can get “pumped up” before going to the gym. Limp Dickzit licks balls.
This is a really late reply, but going to the gym isn’t a bad thing in and of itself. I love going to the gym, because it’s like a meditation, it keeps me in shape, and it makes me happier. That being said, my gym is indeed infested with bros, douchebags and juicers.
FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK
HAAAAHAHAHAHAHA!!! I’ll definitily have to hear that! Those guys are hilarious. In an unintended kinda way.
I want my happiness back…
No amount of fair warning could have been enough to deter me from reading that. 2010: worst year ever.
…
Even if they manage to emulate the sounds of crabs gangbanging a unicorn that happens to be pregnant with an aardvark. I.WOULD.NOT.CARE.
As long as you guys don’t go around posting videos and all that bull shit on here. I actually do think it would be kind of amusing to see them not sell any tickets for shows.
The worst part is that they’ll probably play sold out shows because of their comedic value. Their music is shit but people think it’s fun to sing along to.
If they played a free show I wouldn’t hesitate to go just to sing ROLLING ROLLING ROLLING ROLLING (come on!!!!!).
They are just too much fun to ignore.
You suck.
“Even if they manage to emulate the sounds of crabs gangbanging a unicorn that happens to be pregnant with an aardvark…”
WHY HAS THIS ALBUM NOT BEEN MADE? Gangbang-a-Uni-Core 4 LIFE!!!
best news ever!! thanks!!
At least it’s not a Atack! Attack! Album.
dont get too comfy, we all know its a possibility yet
Well, it’s good news if you have some money to buy stocks in hair color products….Durst is going to need quite a few bottles to banish the gray so he doesn’t scare potential young customers (without previous Bizkit experience) off.
Wes Borland is so much better than this… How and why he continues to be a part of this crap fest is beyond me.
$$$
Oh please. Wes Borland is nothing more than an overrated sellout. Borland and Fred Durst deserve each other.
wes borland gotta eat son
y’know with dio geting cancer last week i thought something really bad happened. and to repeat what everyone else said
NO CARE
yeah i was expecting to hear that dio died
me too. I was bracing for it. Luckily, that was not the case.
Just give me somethin’ to break
How bout your fuckin’ face
I hope you know I pack a chain saw, what!!…
Lyrical genius.
Fuck yeah I just came…
When you said shitty I thought it was in the realm of awesome bands breaking up. This is just annoying.
Exactly. It was lame. No one fucking cares about limp bizkit.
Don’t care. You two are just very soft.
i hope this seriously flops big time like nobody cares
I hope it is more of a Hot Dog Flavored Water album, rather then a Chocolate Starfish one :-)
… isn’t that the same one? 0_o
That’s the joke ;)
…and here i was thinking that today was going to be a good day.
Why? WHY!? Why did you feel the need to destroy what i had going today?
Holy Shit! I can’t wait for the new album!!! Fuckin stoked!!!!
Oh get the fuck over it.
+1
I was all worried that this would be tragic news. Oh wait, it is.
Dio is still alive, though, so there’s hope.
Well, now I have one more reason to not start listening to the radio. I guess it’s my loss.
now I know y’all be lovin’ this shit right here
oops, let me spell that to Fred’s standards
NaWA NO! YaLl B LuViN DiS Sh!t RiTe HeRe! (*folds arms, leans back, and is a black guy*)
WHY HASNT SNOOP DOGG KILLED THIS CRACKER YET??????? seriously, someone get dmx on the phone and say limp biznit made fun of his dogs` sweater.
ps. that photo looks like its made for a photo caption contest. its perfect.
L-I-M-P Bizkit saw ya tilt!
Also, it seems that Wes Borland is going for the Birdman look. Not workin’ too well.
I disagree with you guys, this is great news. Let me put it this way. When I found out there would be a new Robin Williams stand up special, I was happy due to the knowledge that something in the near future would definitely make me laugh my ass off. This is no different.
ok, i just found ONE POSITIVE NOTE TO THIS- gwar has a new person to decapitate live.you heard it here first.
What does this have to do with metal? If you’re going to grieve over every shitty album that is released, regarless of genre, brace yourself for a sad existence. New Lady Gaga album this week. Break out your mourning clothes.
I’d rather listen to Lady Gaga than Limp Bizkit any day.
I actually like the Lady Gaga songs I’m forced to hear at the bar. Sure, it’s not metal, but fuck…it’s catchier than Limp Bisquick ever will be.
Not even metal, just a fuckin’ rap group, and they suck at it.
If you suck at something it takes NO talent to do, then I don’t know what to say about that.
yeah, fred sucks at rapping. but um, rapping does take talent. can you do it, asshole? i didnt think so. ignorant assholes fuck off.
Dude, rap sucks. Doesn’t require any musical training WHATSOFUCKINGEVER. Shit doesn’t even rhyme these days, they just mispronounce the fuck out of words to make them fit. Don’t try to be that “one cool guy” who defends it.
Go listen to Wale…if you’re not clever enough to get some of his lyrics, then stick to the ICP.
That shit ain’t rap! It’s C-rap! Kinda like metal-core
Sorry. I was referrring to Josh’s post. (Although ICP fits, doesn’t it?)
Fuckers can say what they want, but Sam Rivers knows how to lay down some sick basslines. And Wes is really talented, but he just can’t resist making a quick buck.
I’m sure the confederate army had some really good marksmen. What’s your fucking point?
+1
+1
+1
+1
DON’T DO THAT!!!! I thought you were going to tell me dio died!!!
yea really but that would be some front page stuff man. but this surely means some good people had to die luckily not Dio
Please tell me it’s a Whitesnake tribute!
Better yet, Limp Bizkit doing a Whitesnake tribute. Or, even better, the other way around.
Coverdale: I did it all for the Nookie!
Thats just about the least shitty news I’ve heard all day.
I’m actually excited for this! They were the reason why I got into metal. Well let’s see here, Limp Bizkit is better than:
Attack! Attack!
Bring Me the Horizon
This Romantic Tragedy
Oceana
I Set My Friends on Fire
BrokeNCYDE
Millionaires
Black Veil Brides
My Chemical Romance
Fall Out Boy
Panic! At the Disco
Nickelback
Most rap music in general
Britney Spears
Yeah I think you guys get the point by now.
uh no. shit is still shit you moron no matter how much you sugar coat it. LB fits right in with all those bands you listed.
Hey! I like Fall Out Boy! Fuck you, cock mongler.
I’ll be number one with the bullet
I agree with this man.
Yeah but Limp Bizkit still fail compared to:
Neurosis
Mastodon
Anaal Nathrakh
Tool
Converge
Opeth
Slayer
Agalloch
Napalm Death
Atheist
Death
Sleep
High on Fire
Job for a Cowboy
Thou
Baroness
At the Gates
too many to fuckin’ name…………
Death to Limp Bizkit! They’re just the members of ICP without makeup.
Too bad Job For A Cowboy sucks
With you on that one Kovarik.
Really??? Opeth better than LB?
Opeth = Unlistenable to all mankind
LB = Unlistenable only to Opeth lovers
And for the dickhead stating that Snoop should kill the ‘Cracker’, I am fairly certain dudes recorded a duet, Red Light Green Light I think.
…jesus, Opeth. What is wrong with you douche bags???
“Alright paht-nuh….keep on rollin’ baby…you know what time it is”
this is what limp bizkit has contributed to us
no, what time is it?
Like Creed, they’re jumping on the reunion band-wagon far too soon considering when they died off. I predict that, like Creed, they won’t be able to give away tickets. Unless they end up on some horrible package tour with the Limp Bizkits of the present, in which case stupid kids who don’t know any better will see them and not care because they’re not 15 year old trannies who capitalize on their unfounded, immature notions of pain and suffering by selling them terrible music “they can relate to.”
RUN TO THE HILLS! RUN FOR YOUR LIFE! WE’RE LOST! WHO’S GONNA HELP US?!
Eww… Pig Destroyer should go on tour with Limp Bizkit, they both have the same amount of talent.
Aww now come on, Limp Bizkit has way more talent than Pig Destroyer ;)
Pig Destroyer are intentionally just a pure fuckin’ chaotic band! If they wanted to make a pop song like Limp Dick, they would do so & 10x better.
Not sure I like where this is going
Who cares what you like.
Converge!!!!!!!! Track 10 slays!!!!!
i dislike that band as much as the next person. and i know metal heads are disgruntled people in general. but this website has too much hate mongering.
This.
Agree
Like LB makes music for the masses, MS post provocating news and ‘boy do they take the bait
Having spent some time lately trying to enlighten some of the idiots at Yahoo Answers’ music sections, I can assure you, there are still Limp Bizkit fans out there in good number.
Jesus Axl, I thought this was about Dio dying or something. So what if Bizkit have a new album, just ignore it.
Don’t really care. The fact that they’re calling the album “Gold Cobra” makes me die a little on the inside just because of how awful that title is. Otherwise, who cares? I’ll just wait for them to break up again so Wes can put out another Black Light Burns album.
i LOL’d
At least the Thor movie is coming out in 2011.
who gives a fuck,big fuckn deal
god damn im so excited to see how horrible this is
Oh god, I have a beard just like Fred Durst’s!!
Not gonna shave it, though…
Yeah we all know Bizkit blows and blah blah – YAWN.
HOWEVER, that Durst dude can make a movie! Some musical has-beens destroy classic horror films. Durst has the guts to make an original and does an EXCELLENT job.
I’m talking about The Education of Charlie something. Maybe not metal but a solid indie film. Props to Fred.
it’ll flop like creed’s new one. and they’ll be giving away tickets for their tour as well.
When I read the headline my first thought was : Oh no, Dio died. ”
………………….but then, it is the news of an album that no one really care.
oh well……….. I should have known better.
What REALLY sucks is this album will probably do well. The Affliction/Tapout/Ed Hardy crowd will be all over this.
Why can’t Obama send the troops to Fred Durst’s house instead of Afghanistan???
Agreed.
Who cares? Just don’t buy it or listen to it. Plus, knowing Limp Bizkit, this album isn’t coming out.
Limpz Kisbitz is tootallyz NOT metalz! Sos this Jackoffs ams nots importants to anyones. Who cares abouts thees Freds Turdsts? He’s dildos.
It’s going to be delayed, retitled, and fucked around with aimlessly like what they did with Results May Vary. It’s inevitable.
Or the Unquestionable Truth Part 2. I’m pretty sure we never were told who the guitar player on that album was.
That is some horrid news, man – fucking horrid! Ah, but there is some possibly GOOD news – perhaps these guys will sue Fred and his merry band of fuckwits:
http://www.sitela.org/?m=200802
Someone contact these guys and tell them Fred is RIPPING THEM OFF! If there is ANY justice in this world, this sorry return of shit will be stopped before it really starts again.
yesterday did suck. i had a bad day at work, a good friend is heartbroken at the death of her dog, and i hear about the new limp bizkit album.
can’t fred just accept he’s a tool and stop making “albums” and just fade into obscurity already? the world’s quote of douchebage frat boys with backwards, red baseball caps has been met. we don’t need anymore.
make that douchebag*
What’s really fucked up to me, is that you guys fail to see that 95% of the bands you cover on here are not much different in sound/aesthetic than LB. you are the same people that grew up listening to these guys…now you pretend that you have moved on to ‘real metal’…yet, you only barely scratch the surface of mainstream metal, let alone the underground stuff.
Keep your comments to yourself. Go listen to Chocolate Starfish.
Pig Destroyer sucks. I’d like to hear them write a SONG one of these days.
Heres what’s coming up in 2010 that is worth paying attention to (so far) -
New albums from:
IRON MAIDEN
Necros Christos
Teitanblood
Burzum
Ignivomous
Ares Kingdom
Watain
Deathspell Omega
burzum? hahahahahaha!
Pig Destroyer = Grindcore at it’s finest
thats really not saying much.
You and Ziltoid need to get a room already so you can assfuck to obscure metal and get it over with. Just because something isn’t, like “totally underground d00dz” doesn’t mean it sucks. Metal is metal is metal. Call a spade a spade; just because it’s red or white or black or blue doesn’t mean the shape is any different, you fuckwit.
Go jerk off to Burzum while repeating your mantra of racist sentiments and leave the rest of us to enjoy what we enjoy.
P.S. I was absolutely NOT defending LB here because they’re god awful, trite bullshit (and yes, I owned their first album when it came out 12 years ago….shame on me, I was young and angry like most teenagers, then I grew up). I was thinking more along the lines of Pig Destroyer being awesome, as well as the simple fact that just because a person might like a terrible band like LB doesn’t mean they’re any less “metal’ than you.
Go suck Limp dick.
And yes you were rubbing the wood of old Limp Bizkit. Not just when you were a kid but right now as we speak (or type) You know you truly love Limp Bizkit & hate “obscure” metal as you would call it. You know bands like Napalm Death, Bolt Thrower, & Pig Destroyer would destroy your ears.
Pick up a Meshuggah record & man up!
Uhh, yeah, you’re quite the intelligent one, ay? I guess in some twisted sense of perception, you could have gathered that I still enjoy LB, which I, in fact, do not (hmmm, couldn’t tell from the fact that I said the band is trite bullshit?).
Napalm Death, Pig Destroyer, Meshuggah, and Bolt Thrower are far from obscure metal, but thanks for trying anyway. I was referring to jackasses like Ziltoid and Bill Tannen who constantly belittle all things mainstream and then feel so tr00 by only listening to the most obscure stuff (a lot of which sounds quite like the mainstream stuff they talk shit on, but I guess if a band only has 200 fans worldwide, the people like Ziltoid and Bill feel empowered by being part of that small group of super cool guys).
You, on the other hand, win the moron award for: 1) not having a simple grasp of the English language (see: “Limp Bizkit is trite bullshit”; “Hey, this guy really LOVES LB, what a tool”); 2) not having any conception of what obscure metal is and I know for a fact even the two people I was talking shit on would completely agree that none of the bands you’ve mentioned are by any means obscure. So, congratulations.
And for the record, I own every Meshuggah, Pig Destroyer, and Napalm Death record as part of my collection. Bolt Thrower I can do without. And, yes, my ears are destroyed, from years of listening to my music too loud and attending a thousand shows. Fuck you very much :-)
You probably do whack it to Limp Bizkit. No matter if you say you don’t or not.
Hmm…I didn’t know that Iron Maiden were an obscure band. Maybe to someone who owned a LB album, perhaps. In fact, I would hardly call any of the bands I mentioned ‘obscure’, except for perhaps Ignivomous.
Racist remarkes?? I am certainly not a racist…..I own a color tv.
I’m totally gonna buy that album!(pig destroyer i mean of copurse)
Limp Bizkit on tour this Spring with Brokencyde!!
Stay away from Fred’s van, kiddo’s!
To msv8i,
Since you’re such a fuckin’ coward & won’t allow me to respond to your comments.
You said: “Napalm Death, Pig Destroyer, Meshuggah, and Bolt Thrower are far from obscure metal?” Weird, Meshuggah are about as experimental & obscure as you get. Proves you don’t know shit.
And then you said some dumb shit like: “I don’t like Bolt Thrower” WOW!! Why are you even on this page? Shouldn’t you be a part of Adam Lambert’s fan club.
To Lou,
Actually, I have nothing to do with you not being able to respond to my comments, dickweed. This page is made on wordpress and you can only respond so many times, but I guess your small and fragile mind can’t wrap around simple concepts.
‘You probably do whack it to Limp Bizkit. No matter if you say you don’t or not.”
-Nice comeback. I mean, you truly blew my mind there after I called you out on being a total buffoon and moron for a variety of reasons you continue to exemplify with your ill conceived responses.
“Weird, Meshuggah are about as experimental & obscure as you get. Proves you don’t know shit.”
-Well, actually, your nonsensical statement proves that you, in fact, know shit. Meshuggah has been around since 1988 and have released such acclaimed albums as “Destroy Erase Improve” (in my opinion, it’s their best), “Nothing”, and 2008’s “ObZen”; they have toured around the world countless times and have been openers for one of the biggest “metal” acts in the world (see: TOOL, even though I don’t particularly agree that Tool is metal, they get lumped into the category often). I happened to catch them on the Tool tour and even though the crowd wasn’t generally into it, it was one of the best live performances I’ve seen by any band, ever. Meshuggah have also inspired COUNTLESS clones over the years (see: A Life Once Lost, for starters or the MetalSucks favorite Periphery); though many have tried to replicate their sound, there is only one Meshuggah.
Oh, and while we’re at it, the pertinent definition of “obscure”, as found in the dictionary:
“of little or no prominence, note, fame, or distinction”
or
“far from public notice, worldly affairs, or important activities”
Hmmmm, if Meshuggah can be defined by either of those definitions, then I guess up is down and down is up. Meshuggah are technical, proficient, amazing….really, any number of adjectives can be ascribed to them, but obscure is NOT one of them, fucking jackass.
Bands who would be considered obscure:
Burgerkill
Ignivomous
Ares Kingdom
Watain
CiLiCe
Intestinal Alien Reflux
Abacinate
Prostitute Disfigurement
Psychotic Homicidal Dismemberment
Vaginal Chicken
How many of those have you ever heard of? I picked up some of those by copying and pasting what Bill said just a few lines above your initial response (too much effort to look for you, I know….must take a lot of brain power for you to even speak) and some of the names I just found by scanning through my IPod.
Napalm Death, Meshuggah, Pig Destroyer, and Bolt Thrower are household names which most metal fans probably know or have at least heard of in passing. But it’s ok, one day you’ll grow up realize “it’s better to keep your mouth shut and be thought a fool than to open it and leave no doubt.”
Watain is obscure? are you kidding me ? they have legions of fans, guy. Ares Kingdom should be known to every metalhead. They are made up of ex- Order From Chaos members, one of the most widely respected and legendary bands on earth. OFC’s singer/bassist went on to form Angelcorpse…. I sure hope you’ve heard of them ?
If you’ve never heard Order From Chaos, give it a try. “Stillbirth Machine” and “An Ending In Fire” are both incredible monuments or American metal.
Yeah so what, they’ve toured with Tool on international tours but that’s not saying much. Regardless if they played arena shows to a bunch of Tool fans, the majority won’t pick up their album or even remember who opened for them. So yes, they are still pretty obscure.
I’m also certain if you ask some people on this blog who Meshuggah, Pig Destroyer, Bolt Thrower or Napalm Death are that a small few will not know. It all depends on how knowledgeable you are of metal & your taste in metal seeing as though metal is so vast & has subgenres within genres.
I’ve never heard of any of the bands on your so called “obscure” list except Watain. I looked them up on AllMusic (of all sites) & 3 or 4 out of the 8 have profile. I think you might want to re-evaluate your list of “obscure” bands.
P.S. I just googled Adam Lambert, as I had no idea who the fuck you were talking about. Wow, you’re totally fucking metal for knowing his music! Better watch out for you, guy!!
HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA
My girlfriend likes his shit. I don’t know the reason why you’re on his penis & really don’t want to know.
HAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHHAHAHHAHHAHA!
Get a life.
*insert horror movie scream here*
fuck. that just ruined my day, right there
but you did warn me…
why would anyone listen to limp bizkit anyway? unless one happens to enjoy aural rape…
If there’s not already, there should be a band called Aural Rape.
DROP THE BOMB
EXTERMINATE THEM ALL
FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC
CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
http://memegenerator.net/Instances/150/Rage-fu-FFFFFFFFFFFF-UUUUUUUUUUU.jpg
That picture is awesome, by the way. It really plays in to the “Ha Ha! Gotcha!”-ness of thinking something worth caring about was after the jump.
I’m glad. This album is going to be hilarious.
And to the people who think a Limp Bizkit tour would be a failure: like it or not, but LB was part of the soundtrack for most teens in the late 90s/early 00s. All of Bizkit’s videos on YouTube have millions of views, each. Nostalgia will sell tickets, the same way it does for all those 80s pop-metal bands.
Also, that facepainted asshole is one skinny motherfucker. That’s the bassist, right? IYeah. Dude needs a shirt, badly.
I’ve decided, I’m going to kill myself.
Nah don’t do that, let’s just all team up & we’ll kill Fred Durst & Co.
Shouldn’t this much negativity be expressed AFTER the new album is released perhaps?…. or are we so stubbornly cynical it cant be stopped like a violent diarrhea? what if their new album actually surprises you in a positive sense and makes you wanna self-loathingly listen to it like you did in ‘99. how hilariously ridiculous would that turn out to be and make you cry and use the tears as lubricant to masturbate and shit your pants and kick your cat out the window and hug your messugenah and vaginal chicken or whatever record? !!!! cuz you just can’t resist the awesomeness of the lb chemistry that makes your trash dance and Wessy Borlanski mans clean delay riffs!! ??? Hell even fred might throw in a few imposing screams, what will you do then? drink some more haterade and spew it out in here to try and infect my comment/post? haaha ha all too predictable.