I think I’ve made my feelings about remixes pretty clear in the past, but just to reiterate – I find them boring, pointless, and usually pretty awful. I mean, good for the band for getting their hardcore fans to pony up for a terrible version of a song they already owned, but I’m gonna pass.

So I was pretty pissed when I read this statement from Iggor Cavalera on Noisecreep:

“We have some ideas of maybe doing a remix album of ['Inflikted'] and have people like Justice or Soulwax — even some dub artists that my brother likes — remix the whole album.”

Mercifully, Iggor goes on to say that the remix record is “just an idea. It’s nothing confirmed,” and promises that he and brother Max “are talking about doing a new album in the future.” But I just want to be on record right now as saying that they just wait to do said new album. ‘Cause a collection of remixes won’t do much besides lower the cool quotient of Cavalera Conspiracy stock. I mean, “Sanctuary” needs a lot of bleeps and bloops and dee-dee-dees and do-doh-dos like Gene Hoglan needs a sandwich, y’know? Let’s just leave good enough alone fellas. Thanks.

-AR

Sing it with me now: It’s the most wonder-ful time of the year…

Our pals at Noisecreep are the next ones up to unveil their favorite records of ’09. While it doesn’t look much like my own list, I will say that every album that made the cut is very good, and worthy of your consideration.

An interesting side note: I’ve seen Decibel’s list, too, and not only did their number one pick not make NC’s list at all, but NC’s number one pick is number seventeen on Decibel’s list. Is this going to be a year when there’s a lack of critical consensus – or does the gap just speak to the difference in tastes (and tones) of the respective staffs of each website/magazine? I guess we’ll need a few more media outlets to weigh to know for sure.

Check it out here, then come back and argue about it.

-AR

When we got an e-mail from reader Aaron Doenges claiming that Septicflesh’s song “Communion” was a rip-off of the old Meow Mix cat food jingle, our natural reaction was “What fucking drugs is this dude on?”

Then we listened to the song.

Holy shit.

In other news, I hear Rotting Christ are working on a metal version of the Doublemint Gum song.

-AR

They say life is timing and that timing is mostly luck. Sinatra would add that luck is rarely a lady, and truly she’s been a monster bitch since the release of new records by Devin Townsend and Between The Buried And Me. Both clear contenders for top 2009 album honors, Addicted and The Great Misdirect have effectively deleted the rest of my music library and obscured about 40 new and attention-worthy metal records. See, just weeks ago, I was balls-deep in the Converge, Marduk, Municpal Waste, Cobalt, and old Trouble; today, my functioning memory is so dominated by Addicted‘s melodies that I can’t recall even what the Converge record is titled. Worse, would-be essential outings from Porcupine Tree, Skeletonwitch, and Slayer still have their symbolic hymen intact, jilted and untouched by my ear-boner. Which is pure insanity under normal circumstances. (Some measure of karmic revenge comes via Decibel Magazine, which counts neither TGM nor Addicted among the Top 40 Extreme Albums of 2009.)

I can think of no worse fate than to have all the determination and frustration of making an album be rewarded by its adolescence being spent in the shadows of two all-time classics – even if only in the mind of one biased listener. And really, I can’t be the only one finding it hard to concentrate on other records, now identifiable as the sad victims of BTBAM’s and Townsend’s awesomeness. For other artists, it’s like discovering an abandoned cupcake store just before being struck by lightning. It’s like a modest movie about sexy teenage vampires opening unwittingly against Twilight. It’d be like the euphoria of a Tuesday-night smooch party with the office knockout being smashed to bits by news of a catastrophic terrorist attack in your distant home country (true story!). It’s not fucking fair!

-ADF

Who’s excited for Black Friday this year? Do we think any employees of certain mega chain-stores will be trampled to death so that some schmuck can save a few bucks on a Rape Me Elmo or whatever the hot toy is this season? Personally, I think that until it’s gotten to a Dawn of the Dead kinda point where people are using the mall as a fortress against the undead hordes of shoppers, America still has a long ways to go in terms of proving their devotion to the shopping gods.

For those of you who are like me and wouldn’t go near a store on Black Friday even if Liv Kristine was personally on-hand to toss every shopper’s salad, our friends at Metal Insider report that Amazon is giving away free $3 credits for their mp3 store, which you can redeem by using the code MP34FREE. Furthermore, they have a $5 metal album section, which means – and here’s some complicated arithmetic for you! – that if you redeem the code, you can get one of these albums for a whopping two bucks. And since excellent releases (both new and vintage!) by such bands as Slayer, Mastodon, Devin Townsend, Between the Buried and Me, Darkest Hour, Motorhead, and a couple of dozen others, this deal is a good chance to stock up on whatever your collection has been missing. Now go spend some money.

-AR

Congrats to the winners of our Brutal Legend contest! The following grand prize winner will receive the 17″ figurine pictured above:

• meat mincing machine: “Put it in my pee hole and swing my dick around helicopter style in a crowded Bed Bath & Beyond, forever ruining all the 2 for $15 discount shower curtains.”

And the following two runners-up will each receive a t-shirt:

• Dave B: “I’d chop the head off of the voice in my head.”
• Sweeney: “I’d bring it to the upcoming GWAR show and present it to Oderus. Then I’d probably get jizzed on.”

Congrats!

While Scar Symmetry have been busy making music with two new singers that sound like their old one, that old one — Christian Alvestam — has been busy with a ton of new projects of his own. Among them is the very promising Solution.45, a band that also features Mikko Härkin (Cain’s Offering, ex- Sonata Arctica, Kotipelto), Jani Stefanovic (Miseration, Essence Of Sorrow), Tom Gardiner (Hateform, ex- Mors Principium Est), Anders Edlund (Angel Blake), and Rolf Pilve (Miseration).

Solution.45 are currently in the studio recording their debut album. According to an update sent by the band exclusively to MetalSucks, the music is “just about done” and Christian is currently finishing up his vocals. The record will be completely finished and mastered by the end of December, and should see a release this Spring via AFM Records and Marquee/Avalon. The cover artwork will be done by Pär Olofsson, the artist behind the latest Immortal and The Faceless album covers. The album will also feature a few guest appearances, including a few vocal spots by Mikael Stanne of Dark Tranquillity. Neat-o!

Check out a 7 minute teaser of demo material at Solution.45′s MySpace page. It’s good stuff.

-VN

An anonymous reader sent us the below fan-made video for Austrian Death Machine’s “Get to the Choppa.” Now, clearly, this is an instance of a fan with too much free time on his or her hands (Why don’t you do something productive, friend, like start a snarky blog where you make unnecessary, barely-qualified judgements on hard working musicians? Hm?), but it’s actually pretty cool so I thought I’d post it:

The reader who sent this in also made mention of Modern Warfare 2, but I just played through the campaign in that game and I’m still not entirely sure what the what this has to do with MW2. I think there was a level where I did indeed have to get to a choppa, but I was pretty high when I played it so I don’t remember so good. And I don’t know why I just shared that information, but whatever, I’m too lazy to hit “delete.”

-AR

If there was any doubt as to whether or not Winds of Plague are a pure marketing gimmick, such doubts should be laid to rest by the revolving cast of female keyboard players that have graced magazine covers the ranks of the band. Metal Insider reports that Wikipedia claims [see what I did there?] that the band has now had SIX keyboard players, the last three of them female, and that Alana Potocnik — formerly of The Breathing Process and Abigail Williams — has just replaced Lisa Marx, who herself replaced Kristen Randall only two months ago.

Apparently Marx couldn’t learn the parts in time for the band’s “California Love Tour,” which is surprising because, ya know, the ability to play the music should be THE FIRST consideration for ANY band. But having a pretty face on stage is way more important than that trivial little nuance, right?

Maybe some day she’ll show her boobs like her predecessor Kristen Randall. That page is STILL in the Top 5 most-visited pages on this site over a year later, you fucking hornballs.

-VN

MetalSucks Maniac “Thrashbuster” e-mailed us to say that Canada’s Baptized in Blood announced at a show this past weekend that they are signing to Roadrunner. Assuming that this is true, an official announcement is supposed to come December 6.

I have no confirmation on this from the band or the label, so take it as a rumor for now. I will say that although this band doesn’t really do much for me, if they are signing to RR, it should do something to quell recent concerns that the label is no longer working with metal bands.

Check out Baptized in Blood and weigh in with your thoughts below.

-AR

Contrary to the comments of dozens of YouTube haters (samples: “dude your realy suck . try when you have a man voice,” “instead of having your mom buy you metal shirts. have her get you braces.”), I think this kid rules. Gee, thanks Internet numbnuts for pointing out the obvious fact that his voice hasn’t dropped yet — as if he doesn’t know! It takes balls to put yourself out there like this kid did, full-well knowing you ain’t the shit; a helluva a lot more balls than it takes to sit behind a keyword and call a kid a douche for trying. All things considered, this cover isn’t bad — he’s got the pitch right, he’s listening to the right music, and some day he’ll be a great metal frontman.

-VN

[Thanks: "Blah Blah"]

At Relapse Records’ CMJ showcase last month, I had the privilege of briefly meeting Tony from Acrassicuada, a.k.a. “that band from Heavy Metal in Baghdad.” I introduced myself and told him I run a site called MetalSucks; to my incredible shock and joy, he knew what MetalSucks is. See, we’d sent the band a care package way back in 2007, which included some MetalSucks stickers; he told me that he’d kept one of those stickers on his guitar for some time. And while it’s entirely possible that he was just blowing smoke up I ass, I don’t think he was – I didn’t prompt him about the care package or anything, he just brought it up. So that was pretty awesome.

ANYWAY, after an incredible amount of struggle, the likes of which I can’t even imagine trying to overcome, Acrassicauda are here in the U.S. and, according to their MySpace page, are getting ready to release an EP:

Click to read more…

The MetalSucks-sponsored U.S. Plague Tour 2009 — featuring Marduk, Nachtmystium, Mantic Ritual, Merrimack, and on select dates Black Anvil — is currently under way. The tour kicked off Friday in Worcester, MA, runs through the South, up the West Coast, and then cuts back through the Midwest, ending December 16th in New York. In a cluttered Fall tour marketplace, this is one that definitely stands out from the pack. Must-attend!

And if you didn’t hear, Nachtmystium’s Black Meddle Part II is currently in the works. By now pre-production should be complete and recording will supposedly begin in January for a Spring release. Stoked!

Full list of tour dates — with ticket buy links — after the jump.

Click to read more…

If you’re a schmuck like me who couldn’t make it to see Shrinebuilder live when they embarked on their recent tour, fear not: our pal John sent us the below live footage. The quality varies from clip to clip, but, hey, it’s a chance to live vicariously through a cell phone, right?

“The Architect”

More after the jump!

Click to read more…

Andy Samberg can’t single-handedly salvage more than a decade of suckitude at Saturday Night Live, but this past weekend’s skit “The Mellow Show” is pretty fuckin’ funny and of particular interest to metal fans. The skit pokes fun at the light rock stylings of Jack Johnson, Jason Mraz and Dave Matthews, and Mr. Matthews himself makes a cameo appearance as Ozzy Osbourne. Thanks to our brostophers at Metal Insider for picking this one up.

If you’re having trouble with the below embed, check out the video at Metal Insider.

-VN

It always comes down to that when a band loses a member, doesn’t it? And usually there’s a long, drawn-out battle — graciously conducted via the media — in which each side explains their version of the story.

So, it seems The Human Abstract and singer Nathan Ells have parted ways. The band released a statement via their MySpace blog at 3:22pm on Friday afternoon simply stating “The Human Abstract will no longer be working with Nathan Ells. We want to wish Nathan the very best in his future endeavors. With that being said, we are now looking for our new lead singer.” 48 minutes later, Ells fired back from his own MySpace blog thusly: “I want it to be known that the decision made by my band was not mutual, and I was fired.”

Was he fired or did he quit?

Click to read more…

So I was perusing Blabbermouth this morning when I saw that there’s a band called Fuck Your Shadow From Behind. Now, that’s an intriguing band name if ever I heard one – I mean, what the fucking fuck are these wacky Germans talking about? Are they making a Jung reference? Do they advocate the rape of Peter Pan? Or do they just think it sounds cool? – so I decided to check them out.

Click to read more…

Formed by some of the other members of John Garcia’s post-Kyuss project Unida, House of Broken Promises seriously rock so hard that it should terrify Buckcherry, Daughtry, Nickelback, and the rest of their lackluster ilk. Simply put, they fucking rule. Don’t believe me? Then check out the video for “The Hurt (Paid My Dues),” which comes off their just-released debut Using The Useless.

If, like me, you’ve been craving something that’s “heavy” without being “brutal,” you ought to buy this immediately. While you’re at it, be sure to pick up Pig Charmer the latest from House of Broken Promises’ Small Stone Recordings labelmates Throttlerod. Both of them are late contenders for my best-of-2009 list.

-GS

[Gary Suarez is bad for your health. He usually manages WHOLLY DIVER (a Dio tribute site) and the consistently off-topic No Yoko No. Say, why don't you follow him on Twitter?]

Good to know that somewhere out there, someone will always find a new say to make an album cover that just screams “GOTH!”, y’know?

Screamworks: The Longest Fucking Title for Anything that’s Not a Fiona Apple Record comes out February 9.

-AR

But not Cristina Scabbia, huh?

Fine, fuck you. I’m gonna go club a baby seal to deah, and it’s all your fault. I hope you’re happy with yourself, Peta. I hope it was totally fucking worth it. Assholes.

-AR

[via Blabbermouth]