Comments on: VILLAGE VOICE WRITER ELOQUENTLY DISSES TORCHE, MASTODON, BARONESS AND PELICAN IN ONE FELL SWOOP

By: Mike

Mike — Fri, 16 Sep 2011 04:25:00 +0000

Baroness used to be a shitty punk cover band that was full of them self when they sucked. They stole all of their direction from bands that were creative in their hometown in Virginia and then Georgia. Outside of baizley having graphic talents I can’t say a good thing about any of them. Having grown up with them I know they are pure assholes who think they are better than everyone else. When they are found passing throught the home town they are ashamed to claim they can’t be bothered to say hello to the people who weren’t so lucky to get record deals.

By: Ian

Ian — Wed, 23 Dec 2009 00:02:59 +0000

I’m with you guys. I live in Chicago too. I think you might have to be in one of the “bigger” cities to really understand that all this stuff is old news and overdone. Beards, bikes, butt tight black jeans and metal is now the status quo.

I like the article… It’s an unapologetic call out of a lot or rehashed, overly technical, too thought out, un-rock’n'roll nonsense going on lately with creaters of heavier music and their fans.

I will personally say I’m not a huge metal fan myself, but I’m with Biff, and I have a pretty good shit detector myself.

By: Metalcelt

Metalcelt — Mon, 14 Dec 2009 07:19:26 +0000

I’ve been on here for a while bagging on The Blue Album. If there’s an over-rated album that’s come out in the last 5 years I’ve yet to read about it. Mutton dressed as lamb.

By: Coby

Coby — Tue, 08 Dec 2009 00:35:17 +0000

Obvious troll is obvious.

By: Josh

Josh — Mon, 07 Dec 2009 13:15:10 +0000

I as well. I never got into Mastodon until I heard Crack the Skye. I love the album, but even now I still can’t sit through their earlier ones. Just sounds like noise.

By: Lybrium

Lybrium — Mon, 07 Dec 2009 08:07:04 +0000

good point, insistently needing to label everything one encounters is insanity, you end up blind, seeing the same things over and over again and truly believing that that is all there is to it. It’s just one perspective, just one opinion, one, infinitesimal linear way of looking at things, in a vast non-linear universe.

By: Lybrium

Lybrium — Mon, 07 Dec 2009 07:24:18 +0000

cheers, douche.

By: Lybrium

Lybrium — Mon, 07 Dec 2009 07:22:55 +0000

exactly, what the hell was the catalyst to write an entirely, 100% negative article??? If thats the village voice, get me the hell out of the village and to the pelican show, where you’re all brothers and sisters. Not divisional, heartless, big-head’s.

By: Lybrium

Lybrium — Mon, 07 Dec 2009 07:18:54 +0000

Thanks for taking the time to write this, friend.

By: Lybrium

Lybrium — Mon, 07 Dec 2009 07:14:19 +0000

IT is what YOU make it.

I enjoy running around aimlessly and cliche fist pumping to Mastodon and Pelican with reckless abandon, especially in my home, where there are no asshole’s trying to decide whether they like me and my music or not. But then again, maybe I’m fucking delusional and actually staring at my feet, nodding to and fro…

I hope people notice the futility and calculative, candy-coated cleverness of this egojaculated article…see? It’s not that “eloquent”, we can all do it.

It’s just an opinion, and it is what you make it.

By: fvkkall

fvkkall — Sun, 06 Dec 2009 05:33:17 +0000

Yeah it’s all hipster metal but you like what you like. As for Torche, their older stuff is far more metal and has, I think, one of the heaviest songs of all time:

TARPIT CARNIVORE

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-rr5qIDObgo

By: Dirtman73

Dirtman73 — Sat, 05 Dec 2009 04:53:03 +0000

Yes fucking way.

By: Austin_Tasseltine

Austin_Tasseltine — Sat, 05 Dec 2009 00:35:38 +0000

Biff and co. –
This is what really pisses me off about a lot of metal fans: ‘x band don’t have songs, therefore they’re shit’. This is like saying ‘William Burroughs doesn’t stick to standard narrative conventions, so he’s a shit writer’. Only a thicko would make that argument. And similarly, only a thicko would say that SunnO))), Boris, Aphex Twin, &c, are ‘shit’ because they don’t replicate the same fucking verse-chorus-verse structure as everyone else. Do I like good anthemic metal? Absolutely. Do I then judge SunnO))) by the same standard as ‘We’ve Come For You All’? No, obviously, because that would be stupid – they are trying to do different things. Why are so many metal fans, who witter endlessly about the ‘herd instinct’ of those who like chart music, so terrified of anyone making avant-garde music? Metallica aim to write ‘songs’ – therefore it’s fair to say that, if their songs don’t stick, they haven’t succeeded. The same is not true of, say, Swans, Neurosis, Earth or Blut Aus Nord.

By: DidgeryDo

DidgeryDo — Fri, 04 Dec 2009 15:12:43 +0000

Right Voegtlin. You see for some people the ultimate insult does not involve an unintentionally
comedic display of obscure synonyms. Sometimes it’s good enough to call a pretentious douche
what he is instead of feeding into his insatiable hunger for insubstantial displays of intellect.

For instance when I read you’re article I was not thinking “wow this guy must be so smart for
knowing these words or his clever ideas.” I was more wondering if you were in fact so
wise then how could you not notice the irony in blasting people for creating unmerited
ascociations with intellect when you appeared exactly the same in your article with every
unecessarily flowery sentence. If you were not so busy stretching you’re face down to you’re
butthole to inhale a fragrant whiff of you’re own farts after masterfully bookmarking thesaurus.com
to incorporate every sentence with academic hyroglyphics you might have actually noticed that.
Fortify you’re arguments with logical consistency next time instead of a bland stacatto machine gun
assault of verbosity. In the internet age it is not impressive.

And yeah you clearly are a douche. Sorry if this lacks an ironic post-modern deconstructive tongue
in cheek acerbic wit fit to make any overly-caffenated self-important twit cream his shorts but you
have to admit, it does accurately describe you. To me that’s good enough :)

By: DidgeryDo

DidgeryDo — Fri, 04 Dec 2009 14:47:08 +0000

Meh. I think the real irony is he complains about insubstantial attempts of bands to sound inteligent while using words like “puerile” or “erudition” in the same breath. I don’t even need a thesaurus to write like that it’s just that most of the time I chose not to. Honestly I can picture this guy bending down in between each paragraph to inhale a lovely gust of his own farts. ( or “flatulence” as I’m sure he would have put it).

Mastodon is a great band. I have not heard Pelican and can’t say.

By: krunkulor5000

krunkulor5000 — Fri, 04 Dec 2009 00:49:48 +0000

“The same goes doubly for Florida’s Torche, which often sounds like Looney Tunes composer Carl Stallings tearing through Helmet’s late oeuvre in double-time.” – GOLD

if you sip tea and listen to metal too much you end up like that, think my buddy calls it Red Carpet Crew

By: SourDeez

SourDeez — Thu, 03 Dec 2009 18:49:02 +0000

It’s because people think your writing helps vaginas stay clean, but in fact it’s bad for them.

By: D MANNs

D MANNs — Thu, 03 Dec 2009 07:57:24 +0000

This may be the most intelligent and even handed internet reply discussion I’ve ever read. Good on ya ‘metlers.’

By: Bill

Bill — Thu, 03 Dec 2009 05:20:37 +0000

*sigh* another failed musician sexually abusing his thesaurus…

By: Sean Williams

Sean Williams — Thu, 03 Dec 2009 05:18:39 +0000

second that.