EVEN THE FRIGGIN’ ONION DID A DECADE-END LIST

Thursday, December 3rd, 2009 at 2:00pm by

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Even though they started their own metal column this past summer, I don’t traditionally think of The Onion as someplace to get metal news and criticism. But their A.V. Club has now weighed in with their very own “Best Metal Albums of the Deacade” list. And the list is honestly kind of shocking.

There are thirty albums on the list and, as with some of the other lists we’ve been talking about, all I think that all the entries are respectable, even if I don’t personally love/agree with all of them. But there’s a LOT of records here you would really never expect to see, and, in fact, won’t see on most other lists; author Leonard Pierce admits that “this list reflects my opinion and my opinion only,” so it’s no surprise that it reads like one fanboy’s personal favorites. Pierce didn’t have to compromise or even consider the opinions of anyone else the way most other media outlets did, so when the dude felt like sticking Agoraphobic Nosebleed’s Frozen Corpse Stuffed With Dope – a great album I can virtually guarantee you you won’t see on anyone else’s decade-end list – he did just that.

I honestly find some of Pierce’s selections highly questionable – surely there were better albums than Slayer’s Christ Illusion or The Sword’s Didja Know We Love Sabbath? in the past ten years – but, again, it’s just one dude’s opinion, and an interesting read that is not worth getting mad about.

Read the list here, and then do what you do best (ARGUE!) in the comments section below.

-AR

  • Sammy

    Before you morons start up the hatemobiles, make sure you read the whole article, which states, “And yes, this list reflects my opinion and my opinion only. I’ve tried to mix it up and include examples from most of the major metal subgenres, but by necessity, this is going to be a big hunk of meat seasoned to my tastes. So keep in mind as you’re preparing your badly misspelled hate-posts that I’m not pretending to be comprehensive. The mere fact that there’s so much room for disagreement about the best metal of the decade reflects exactly how goddamn good the genre is these days.”

    • Alkahest

      That’s the best disclaimer I’ve ever heard.

    • J-Ho

      Technically, one should title the list “My Favorite Metal Albums of the Past Decade,” if that’s the case.

      • The Ghost of D. Boon

        Yeah see this is my problem with this list in particular but all of these lists in general. They claim definitive status by using terms like “THE BEST [albums/bands/songs/wangs] EVER”. All of these publications would probably cut a lot less flak if they stopped trying to pretend like there is any measure of objectivity to their lists. Particularly those lists which are compiled by only one person.

        Also there is an awful lot of stuff on that Onion list which is indisputably NOT metal. I’m not one of those people who says anything that isn’t to his own personal tastes isn’t metal, but QOTSA? The Mars Volta? Those guys don’t play metal, they don’t tour with metal bands, they don’t have any sort of metal aesthetic to them at all. Hell, putting grindcore and sludge in a metal list could even be dubious to some folks…

  • gauche

    pretty solid.

    • http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tristan_Jones Gay Lion

      Gotta agree.

  • msv81

    Actually, if I were to make a “Best Albums of This Decade” list, a whole bunch of those would make the cut. There are several I’m not familiar with and will check out at some point soon.

    I like the inclusion of Goatwhore’s “Carving Out The Eyes of God”, Agoraphobic Nosebleed, Pig Destroyer (I happen to think “Phantom Limb” is their best work, though I know a lot of people around here think otherwise), Earthless, Mastodon (let’s get real, for as much hype as “Crack The Skye” gets, it doesn’t hold up to “Leviathan”, don’t care what anyone says), Meshuggah (though I’d put “ObZen” and not “Catch 33″), Opeth, SOAD, Deftones, and of course Slayer (definitely NOT “Christ Illusion” though, that album is probably their worst one ever, I’d include either GHUA or WPB).

    All in all, this is the best list I’ve seen in a long time.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Anthony-Showalter/100000592087843 Anthony Showalter

      Christ Illusion was a limp dick compared to the raw goodness of World Painted Blood.

  • du8

    hey…as far as I’m concerned any “best of” list that mentions Melvin’s is a good one….

  • Mike

    That list sucks. But that’s to be expected when a bunch of hipsters penetrate the scene.

    • jason

      or your mom. Sorry…couldn’t resist.

      • Seth

        well played

    • stu1

      Oh good christ. Go buy some new sweatpants and change my oil.

      • msv81

        HAHAHAAHAHAHAHAA!

    • http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Andrea_Bocelli Gay Lion, Two

      Faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaag.

      • bradylikesbigbird

        HEY GUYS LOOK IM USING A BUZZWORD HIPSTER HIPSTER HIPSTER HIPSTERS YOUR ALL HIPSTERS

  • Moose_Knuckle

    Very good list, its got the Melvins, Isis and Electric wizard and a lot of other good ones

  • jason

    Wow…that list is uncannily in line with my own tastes in metal….at least 90% of it or so. Very surprising.

  • Patton

    The Mars Volta? Metal?

    • stu1

      I found that very odd.

      • RockOutWithMy…YouKnow

        Yeah, definitely not metal, but a phenomenal band nonetheless

    • SourDeez

      They’re not metal, but a lot of metalheads love them. Myself included. I would have put De-Loused on there instead, but whatever.

      • http://www.gravatar.com/avatar/62449cbe5ea8d22bcc2e76890fceaa37.png Lord Bling

        Agreed. Deloused is amazing. Everything they’ve done since that one hasn’t held my attention as well.

  • Tim

    Calling Watershed the album Opeth got comfortable on is ludicrous. They just lost half their band. Regardless of the album’s quality, that “insight” is just plain false.

    • http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Leslie_Orgel Gay Lion, One

      Gotta agree. Again.

  • metalguy

    i prefer a writers best of list then way a media outlet like metal hammer or decibel would say. they are just going to say the same albums(crack the skye, baroness) on year end lists because one respectable critic said it was good. to keep up ratings they say the same thing, so youre not really getting a persons best of 2009 list. the individual MS lists are much better

  • Alkahest

    No complaints here. Pretty reasonable list.

  • ab12

    orthrelm? this list wins automatically

  • chaz

    enjoyed this list, love seein earthless, electric wizard

  • You Don’t Know Me

    The Mars Volta and Queens of the Stone Age are questionable. The rest of the list is pretty solid.

  • mr lun

    pelican, eh… this guy must not have read the village voice lately

  • More Metal Than You

    To give Nosebleed a win and neglect Cephalic Carnage altogether seems like a bogus play but it’s his fucking list so he can do whatever he wants.

  • Myopinionisbetterthenyours

    The MetalSucks list was better.

    • http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/United_Kingdom Nomyopinionisbetterthenyours

      I disagree. Wanna wrastle? (sic)

  • Dubs

    Holy crap i forgot dopethrone was in 2000, a lot of these lists need to change then.

  • some girl

    this is the best list i’ve seen so far… dude didn’t pick a bunch of the same albums that everyone else would have, and his taste is pretty solid. he also included Earthless, who all of you should check out immediately. especially if you have the chance to see them live.

    • Facebook User

      I just saw earthless live last night, one of the most phenomenal live bands I have seen in some time.

  • Malacoda

    I think the list had a bunch of really good albums, but I don’t know if I’d call any of them the best of the decade. It was better than a lot of recent lists though.

  • Chimp-0-Neg

    Just on Dillinger: miss machine is the one really. But the mainthing that is cool is the recognition for METAL. Even if you don’t rate the picks, ultimately we ALL win.

    • phale

      irony is a dead scene is their best work by a million miles. too bad its 15 minutes long (aphex twin doesnt count).

      • Chimp-O-Neg

        agreed – on both points. Except : not an album strictly so doesn’t count… and by best it’s the best work – this decade.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Joshua-Geesey/1352102483 Joshua Geesey

    Wow, I actually agree with most of that list. Know the editor is into doom/sluge/stoner makes me want to check out his column.

  • SourDeez

    AnB on a best-of list? I think Rob Halford might start fucking women soon.

  • jonowev

    Oh yes. Oh dear god yes that list is immense. Isis, Anaal Nathrakh, Earthless, Electric Wizard, Converge…

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Daniel-Guzmn/570745539 Daniel Guzmán

    Shocked to see Blut aus Nord, it may sound like a lie but I’m actually listening to Memoria Vetusta, album that I find more enjoyable than the one in the list; it’s just too much for me. Maybe in the future I’ll get it.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Daniel-Guzmn/570745539 Daniel Guzmán

      Wow Electric Wizard is in there too, great diverse taste this guy has, I also love Deftones.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Matt-Danger-Dasher/30826541 Matt Danger Dasher

    And yet, nobody pays attention to the Spinelanguage.wordpress.com list. Needz Moar commentz!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • http://www.theblacklaser.net Joe The Wizard

    Undeniably solid list.

  • phale

    cynic and between the buried and me. maybe the faceless and gorod. this list isnt nerdy enough.

  • musicalsnob

    gotta say its spot on, some are a meh, but the the rest is all goood.

    maybe metalsucks should take some pointers from these guys, i mean they are always promoting lamb of god, trivium u know all the typical bullshit poser metal.

    also for resall metal news visit
    http://www.theprp.com/
    http://invisibleoranges.com/

    • msv81

      “My metal is better than your metal because your metal is fucking poser metal and my metal is resall (sic) metal.”

      STFU.

      • musicalsnob

        LOL!!!
        damn u must be gobblin that knob at metalsucks who promote bands that r sooo mediocre its sad… i mean if bands like lamb of god only existed metal would be sooo boring.

        so i would gladly say STFU.

        also its pretty stupid for gettin on ppls case for typos, every body makes em unless u were raised by some fuckin nazis or something

  • Facebook User

    “i was never really that into metalcore” yup. it shows. the only ‘[blank]core band on the list is Converge.

    I woulda liked to see born of osiris on there

  • musicalsnob

    poser go back to ur crabcore lol

  • http://misterbuckets.wordpress.com Mister Buckets

    The. Mars. Volta.

    Whoa.