FUNNY PHOTO CAPTION CONTEST: WIN A NIRVANA 2002 ’89-’91 RECORDINGS CD!
Thursday, December 3rd, 2009 at 5:00pm by Vince Neilstein
For last week’s funny photo caption contest we offered up a 10 pack of assorted CDs from Prosthetic Records… nifty! The winning entry was a variation on a theme attempted by many entrants… but only this one nailed it just right:
Michael “The Armenian Demon” Fenton: “I really, really hope the curtains do not match the drapes!”
Well done, sir. This week Relapse Records has bestowed upon us two copies of the recent Nirvana 2002 Recordings ’89-’91 collection to give away (stream the whole thing here!). Simply come up with a funny caption to the below photo [Thanks: |Tch0rT|], and one of those CDs shall be yours.
IMPORTANT: make sure you comment with a real email address and NOT a Facebook account, otherwise we won’t be able to contact you if you win. If you use Facebook Connect for MetalSucks, simply log out of Facebook.
238 COMMENTS on “FUNNY PHOTO CAPTION CONTEST: WIN A NIRVANA 2002 ’89-’91 RECORDINGS CD!”
“Tobin! Tobin!! You finally made it to practise!”
“Uh… Do i know you?!”
“dude what are you talking ab–”
“shush man… i’ll meet you round back”
uh.. i mean Tosin
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E|-0-3-0-3-5-3-5-3-6-3-5-3-6h7—————|
But why?
Well, I for one know what I’ll be doing with my guitar tonight.
+.
Pantera?
If thats a Nirvana joke, then by all means FTW
Cowboys From Hell though it’s not the Dimebag way of playing it :P who cares though right?
Hey guys! NOW am I black metal?
Dude in car: That muthafucka stole my shirt
Opps
hey dudes i sent my contact info in an email
Death Metal DONK!!
Ridiculously Lame Car Smashed Face
Yo…metal man….Wanna buy some weed?
Hammer Face Palm.
Rollin’ down the street, smokin Indo
Sippin’ on virgin’s blood
Laid Back.
With my my mind on my blood, and my blood in my face.
“No… surprisingly, he said he didn’t have any pot… why would you take a picture of me trying to buy pot?”
this one’s pretty great.
I think the world would be a better place if everyone in this picture had been butchered at birth.
That poor little boy should’ve known that there aren’t any black metal shows in Compton, just black people with metal rims
WINNER!!!
Here we see the only idiots left on earth that think Obama is different than every other polition
**Politician** ^
i don’t get it
I bet Obama can spell politician dumbass. Your a dumb fuck, Palin deserves your vote.
You just said your.
fuck you.
Too much blood-in my bathroom-too much blood-in my room-too much blood-too much blood-
I kiss the bloody chainsaw-I kiss the bloody axe-too much blood-too much blood…
haha, awesome.
ROFL
And this is funny why? Coz some black dude has a goofy-looking car? (y’know – that’s a pride thing among black men, kinda like the beards and tattoos favored by your knuckle-dragging readership.)
Right after a self-righteous tirade about Varg’s racism.
Awesome.
Hey, shut up, you Jew-hating pseudo-African American supremacist. It’s clear that the true true brunt of this joke is the young, Latino boy. And I wouldn’t put it past these dirty Jews, they’ve always had a prejudice against the decent, hard-working Latinos of America.
Now, run off you Jew-hater, while I find out where they keep their money bags.
This post is riddled with grammatical errors.
Fuck off, you dirty Jew. I have an Arab in my pocket, and I’m not afraid to use it!
I like where this is going.
I like where this is going
That’s such a tactless pet name to give to one’s own genitals.
What the fuck is wrong with you? do you hate Jew-haters? (antisemite) or do you hate Jews? lol
Fuckin troglodyte
“That kid in the Cannibal Corpse t-shirt looks really stupid.”
EDIT:
“That kid kid in the Cannibal Corpse t-shirt looks like a vampire.”
Rob Zombie crosses the line with his remake of “Up In Smoke”
Unfortunately Pedro realized to late the black metal show his mom dropped him off at was an african american car show.
Rollin’ through the ‘hood in my ’6-4, jockin’ the bitches, hammer-smashing the hoe’s…
hahahahahahaha
+1
The only known photo to surface from the Rick Ross/Chris Barnes collabo entitled “The Blinging”
“Ay yo whiteboy Bivens couldn’t make it to practice today, he sent me instead.”
What does everyone in the picture and tr00 metal heads have in common?
none of them want that Nirvana cd.
Its NOT the Nirvana from seattle, you fucking moron. Its great fucking tunes from some of the dudes who went on to form Entombed.
Erm, they didn’t, Ovar sang for them on one Ep. But yeh, shame on him for not reading properly.
true that benito, true that
The new album art for Cannibal Coon – ‘Butchered By Blacks’
(It’s funny ’cause it’s racist!)
Big Bad G and Tony were this close to forming a friendship that would spawn the barely lucrative Extreme Rap Metal.
East side versus west side motherfucka!
Fan gather for the Winds Of Plague show.
^winner, right here^
Yo dawg, pass me some of that blunt force castration
Yo dawg, I herd you like Cannibal Corpse so we put a Cannibal Corpse in yo Cannibal Corpse so you can Cannibal Corpse while u Cannibal Corpse.
I wish those guys were Butchered at Birth
Butchered By Birth, eh? That kid is going to be butchered by thugs for all I know.
So apparently this black metal convention was about something completely different.
Maybe Varg was right about metalheads acting like “stereotypical negros”
The origins of deathcore
upper middle class kids who like death metal… but at the same time would like to be hood
Blinged at Birth
Yo Dog, i’m really happy for you and i’ma let you finish…but Pushead designed the best metal t-shirts of all time. OF ALL TIME!
FTW!
“I wanted some weed, but they said they only had hard candy and tootsie rolls.”
“Yo Dawg…call me Ghettogrinder, bitch!”
After the drive-by, paramedics had difficulty discerning his actual blood from the Cannibal Corpse cover art.
The Bloods’ work experience kid didnt really work out…different interests…
(insert black metal joke here)
Poor kid thought he was going to a CANNIBAL CORPSE concert… but should have read the ticket a little closer cause he showed up at a CANNABIS CORPSE concert… it’s a slightly different crowd… as dark as a CANNIBAL CORPSE crowd can be a CANNABIS CORPSE crowd is even darker!!!
Everyone settle down now… I’m not a racist I am actually black (well actually Sicilian, so black enough) & funny is funny!
Apparently listening to Cannibal Corpse does make you end up in Hell.
Wow….
hahahaha, this is one of the only ones that made me laugh out loud. +1
Oh ju nasty!
Hahahahhahaa oh man……oh man, that was simultaneously terrible and hilarious.
“Oh god oh god right as I’m about to bust up into The Carlyle and show everybody who’s boss in my super gory vintage Cannibal Corpse shirt I got online for 50 bucks this really intimidating black guy has to roll up on dubs or whatever and blow the whole thing oh god oh god i think i have to shit oh god think evil thoughts THINK EVIL THOUGHTS.”
-Young Douche
“Damn G. Forget this car…I want that SHIRT!”
having spent all his money on the box and bubble car the only metal left that was affordable was a kids shirt, who declined the offer
this is clearly not the black metal convention i was looking for
EDIT: (i dictated the above 2 my friend while I was getting ready for class, and he is a moron and did not type what i wanted him to)
“We’re clearly not looking for the same black metal convention”
Come get on the ho train baby!
the whitesest thing since white came to whiteville
Ice-T contemplates the impact he made on the Cannibal Corpse DVD.
“Henry was quite disappointed when he learned that there weren’t anymore available penthouses at the Carlye; he now had to look elsewhere to find a place of residence.”
I think I missed that right turn at Albuquerque. Quick, get back in the van, try not to show any fear.
“Do you need a ride to the show?”
“Nah man. I’ll have my homie drop me off in styyyyyle.”
The Rosa Parks of Juggalo Public Transportation
Sergeant D realized that this probably wasn’t the place to preach the merits of wigger-slam.
win
The first metalhead to cross over to the darkside
God Forbid singer Byron Davis caught ridin dirty out side of a Cannibal Corpse show
addicted to vaginal rims
This Cannibal Corpse fan turned male prostitute is seen here walking away from the car of his latest customer. If you look closely, you can see that he still hasn’t decided whether to spit or swallow.
Cannibal Corpse – Starin’ Thru Da Rims Of Da Dead
“Severed heads, severed heads. Intestines, entrails, severed heads. Yo kid, I got them severed heads.”
god damn hilarious
A metal fan hitchhiking is picked by a rich hip hop producer, next day nu-metal is born.
How Cannibal Corpse makes it across the country in style?
The origin of Blackchapel; a photographic essay.
You ain’t fuckin’ mah bitches with a knife white bwoy
Tiago quickly grabs his portuguese-english dictionary as he ponders the difference between “black” in New York and mother Brazil.
More like “Eyelids cut off to spy these ballin rimz”!
Pedro offers you his services and heavy metal credibility.
Cannibal Corpse, so easy even a caveman loves them
Car jacked with a knife!
The origin of Senor Bivins
Goddamn it Kyle… this is the BLACK festival, not the BLACK METAL festival.
Jimmy Metal here got on a plane hoping to arrive in Bergen, Norway. Instead, he ended up in Bergen County, New Jersey.
win.
A moment later, Senor “Deathcore is Not Scene” Bivins, struggling to deal with being bumped to number two on the You-Tube Deathcore vocal cover charts, performs the worlds first drive-by battle axing, cleanly severing the head of his rival. A witness reported the assailant then fled the “scene”, screaming in a brutal tone ” I AM DEATHCORE! “
One kid in a $10 Cannibal Corpse shirt is still infinitely cooler than some stylin’ and profilin’ douche in a jacked-up rapemobile.
Evil and Darkness…………. Joe.
That’s disgusting! All those people are dressed normal from a metal point of view!!!!
Mutha fukin devil commin down to your street, mutha fuckin devil gonna stab you in the neck JOE
Mike Smith of Suffocation ” When Does Cannibal Start?”
Mike Smith of Suffocation ” Where The Fuck Am I Gonna Park Now?”
the last one should have said “carpet” not “curtains” curtains and drapes are the same thing
The true birth of wigger slam.
Ganpsta Capped Face.
cadillac corpse
When I was told of a Heavy Metal convention I didn’t expect this.
“Hayden get yo ass in da car!”
“Your not my real dad!”
Haha I love this one!
Solid.
Sadly, Hammer Smashed Face was not chosen as the theme song of the million man march
Whatever I write Fenton will just steal it FTW.
someone read the memo wrong—- its HO-bangin, not headbangin
“Fuuuck, there’s a black guy behind me huh?”
Juan figured out that Black Spring Break meant something totally different than what his asshole older brother had told him. This is also why his douche brother was snickering as he told him when he got there to go ask someone where Nargaroth and Shub Niggurath would be playing tonight.
Had this taken place at night, that kid would’ve been covered in sores.
just a side comment, shouldn’t it be “i really hope the carpet doesn’t match the drapes”?
Getting roughed up by metal-hating thugs: the only thing more brutal than a Cannibal Corpse album cover
The hallucinogen-fueled dream that inspired Chris Barnes to cover “Back In Black” in its entirety.
I don’t care who wins the contest, this wins in my heart
“Were not in East L.A. anymore”
Cannabis Corpse’s rise in popularity has really started to confuse things.
EAT RIM ZOMBIE HONKEY!
Cultures clash as Jim Carrey signs on for Soul Plane 2
Wouldn’t surprise me if he did. He was on “In Living Color” with teh Wayans’.
Don’t you ever touch a black man’s radio, boy!
An experiment in racial tension.
Now this is bizarre…. someone I know actually has this as his Facebook picture, lol
the kid in the cannibal corpse shirt was in that line for food stamps behind him, but after a short wait, he no longer had a need for them after he ate Jamal and Leon. tastes like chicken!
Lo-Cash, meet Dirt-Stache.
yes!!!
At least he isn’t wearing a Burzum shirt. Those stereotypical negros would be pissed!
I am way too drunk to even bother to make a comment about 26 inch ballers on a chevelle and an ape wearing a cannibal corpse shirt
1 Cannibal Corpse Tee – 20$
1 Ticket For Cannibal Corpse Show -30$
1 Cab Ride To The Show – 28.75$
Getting Shot By A Gang Banger Right As U Walk Through The Door – Priceless
Wheres My Money For Tashanda!
Get that fucking asshole out of the picture, he’s blocking the chrome 26″ plaque on the side panel!
Ok, Their 10″s but i keep em clean.
*****JUST A POINT****
Did none of you fucking retards realize that last week’s winning caption makes absolutely NO FUCKING SENSE WHATSOEVER? Curtains and Drapes are the same fucking things you utter imbeciles! What he meant to say was “hope the CARPET doesn’t match the drapes/curtains”.
I truly thought you lot were funny and pretty sharp at one point, but fuck me the IQ in here is barely above a show size.
I noticed that. Funny enough that the guy mis-posted it and funnier still that it was picked with no one noticing it.
I love how Axl creams his shorts over the insanely convoluted Village Voice and does
not have the brains to notice something as simple as this. His head is so far up his ass
He’s a human oroborus.
Not to mention that the attempted comment was a direct rip off of Family Guy.
um…shoe size
Yeah, shoe size. At least I didn’t claim that as a winning fucking caption.
“One of Tony Montana’s cohorts donned a most cunning disguise to escape the wrath of the chainsaw.”
another death metal fan quickly realizes that he does not fit in. anywhere. with anyone.
Early hours, open road, one metalhead, on his way home. Having enjoyed his day downtown, his encounter with thugs had just begun…
Entrails Ripped from a Virgins Lift
Pimp-mobiles and Cannibal Corpose – what a winning combination!
This next song is called “FUCKED WITH A GAT!!!”
In this screengrab from World of Warcraft, you can see Corpsegrinder’s newest unlocked vehicle, driven by Mr T’s character.
Teh cover of Varg Vikernes’s latest album “the white god”
Cannibal Corspe shirt kid: Cruzin through the city chevy sittin like a monsta, look in the back seat I got tha choppa
Dude, where’s my carcass?
Franklin often dreamed of spending most of his life living in the gangsters paradise.
The day The Carlyle started selling Penthouse was a festive day indeed.
Black Metal Show @ The Carlyle
Seems its not the type of black metal show whitey had thought.
Braap Braap!
“Man, that remake of ‘Falling Down’ is really going to suck.”
“…
well at least there aren’t any hipsters.”
Last picture taken of young Johnny, later this day he would be murdered in a gang related drive by shooting. Locals are already protesting against the Cannibal Corpse show to be held next week in Miami, believing that the Death/Hate/Satanic band’s music might have been reason why this violence erupted.
Tyler was excited to learn that his vacation photo happened to catch will.i.am. in the background.
Once Jorge arrived, this officially became “The Laziest Street In America”. This is actually the Guiness World Record photo.
^winner^
bobby learned that a wrong turn can take you to south central and not south of heaven
Quoting lines from Do The Right Thing wasn’t working out quite like he planned.
OH LAWD, IS HE BUMPIN COVERED WITH SORES IN HIS WHIP?!
SHEEEEEEET.
Escuse me Señor…is Señor bivins home?
Yo quiero inhale vocals….
A weed fueled lack of attention. – PSA#4
Despite risking ostracism from the rest of the community, Floyd stuck true to his metal roots and turned his back when the “Tribute to Rap” portion of the town’s fall parade passed by.
His own awkwardness reaching an all-time high, little Jimmy vowed to return to the Carlyle with some bling.
Why Columbine happened in the first place!
Victor was about to show the gentleman’s tires the meaning of “Fucked With A Knife”
Corpse grind the whip!
That’s a great song by Mr. Fab, the Yellow Hearse Driver!
I was just thinking, it sucks that there’s no such thing as death hyphy.
I think that movement would last as long as Hyphy did in mainstream media…
This is the same photo Hip-Hop Sucks are using for theirfunny photo caption contest.
After signing the lease on his new penthouse, Michael realized – too late – that Haiti wasn’t the Mecca for death metal he had assumed it was.
They see me rollin’ …
“That guy wouldn’t play “Hammer Smashed Face; c’mon.”
Gold Cobra Air Raid Vehicle
And he was feeling so badass in his new Cannibal Corpse shirt…. how quickly one’s vagina falls out – run, white boy, run.
ps. don’t send me a fucking Nirvana cd.
http://metal-archives.com/band.php?id=11058
“ON ROUTE NINE SOUTH OF TRENTON!”
Rick Sanchez guests hosts CNN’s “Black In America 2″
Name the one thing out of place in the picture.
Is it the cracker up front?
Jose couldn’t help but sence the odd combination of shame and fail perpetuating from his surroundings.
Cannibal Corpse tours with 2pac in the early 90′s in brazil.
Spinner Black Face
You better pray when you see me put that nine up in that pussy, ho
Cock it back slow
Rock it back and forth, wait for the nut, then let my trigger go
BOOM!
Pussy-guts all over the room
Fuck yeah Brotha Lynch!
Where there’s black people there will always be a cannibal… whether the jungle is concrete or forest.
Disgorge Mexico: The Reality
Kid in Cannibal Corpse shirt: “Hey man! I got a joke for you. These two black dudes walk in a bar and…oh shit, there’s one behind me right now isn’t there?”
In tr00 metal fashion, the youngest member of the Cannibal Corpse street team walked nonchalantly through the Black Eyed Peas’ video shoot.
‘Bama Trash Race
dude in pmipmobile:
“hey, amigo, it seems my grandma sent u for a cup of cofee a couple of minutes ago?! wtf r’u doin’ here? move it! penthouse is high & the lift is off, rememba?”
on the set of bad boys III. TMZ caught whyclef jeans checking out wilmer valderammers ass “off camera”
That car —-> Decency Defied
They can have their fancy cars, baggy clothes, and rap music. I’m going to go listen to music that is really serious and badass, that deals with social issues like having sex with dead bodies and slaying dragons.
It was recently revealed that Senor Bivins spends his free time stalking young white male metalheads. That should impress his fanbase.
God Forbid’s Frontman, moment of enlightment
when he discovered METAL
Why people shouldn’t wear Hott Topix knockoff “Canibea Corpse” shirts
Oceano’s idea of the modern-day tour bus > our idea of the modern-day tour bus.
Hey boy! Yer lookin’ awfully sexy in that Cannibal Corpse t-shirt! Can I take that ass for a ride?
FETUSES ON BACKS OF SHIRTS:CAUSING BLACK MEN IN RIDICULOUS CARS TO STARE AND INEVITABLY CRASH
Passer By “Hey you In the car! Act relaxed its one of those ‘rocker’ people, don’t spook him!”
Straight up g in the Blingmobile ” Uh what? fo sho….” Assumes position
Fubu is makin some snazzy shirts dayum.
Say bruh, what time that Cannibal Corpse concert starts?
Nigga…
photo caption idea
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=21073&id=581512363&ref=nf#/photo.php?pid=2896605&id=581512363
Boy, Lil Elian Gonzalez grew up to be a metalhead & Rick Ross has his eyes on starting his rap career.
Win!
This photo was taken approximately one minute before the scene of the brutal gang style beating that happened yesterday around 3pm in Bronx. A wigger slam.
“Alright son, I’ll pick you up tonight at 10. Have fun bruh! And pick me up some Cannibal Corpse merch! Aight!!!”
Beavis and Butt-head do New Orleans. Except without Beavis.
Hip Hop: So easy a Cannibal caveman can do it.
Vince Neilstein photo book: “First black man I ever saw that wasn’t my moms boyfriend”
Nu death metal?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! o.0
As I walk through the valley of the shadow of the ghetto, I shall fear no dealers on rims.