THE BEST WEBSITE EVER OF THE DAY
Thursday, December 3rd, 2009 at 11:00am by Vince NeilsteinLadies and gentlemen, I give you…
I could list the ways in which this site is awesome / mind-blowing, but that would just ruin the fun. Here’s a sample:
God bless your site. I found some songs by Children of Bodom on my 14 year old sons IPOD. I cried after reading the songs lerics online. Thank you for providing an alternative to secular metal. Please pray for my son Daniel. I love him so much.
Have a look, and be sure to click into some of those deeper pages… pure gold.
-VN
[Thanks: Bradley Z.]
jesus christ….
Ba-dum-tish!
Bwahahahaha ! Thanks for the tip !
Another great one is the “Christian Metal Realm” message board. Hilarious shit….I love reading about peoples deep spiritual issues concerning whether or not they should listen to a band that bashes their religion ! Fuck losers….. talking snakes, GTFO
Wow, I really love the idea of Christian Black Metal. The funny thing is, with the columns of music “these bands sound like”, it’s obvious that this guy listens to a LOT of specifically un-Christian music. Awesome.
I heard that “christian black metal” is “White Metal”. CLLLLLLLLLLEEEEEEEVER.
Christian death metal is also called life metal. Bahaha.
As a guy who grew up in that scene, I can tell you that no one who actually listened to metal called anything “white” or “life” metal.
Christian doom metal – happy metal
that site is horrible. He lists some christian band then says they sound like “DIssection,Dimmu Borgir and Marduk” three bands that sound NOTHING alike at all. NOTHING. How the FUCK does one think Marduk sounds like Dimmu?
It made me laugh when I saw Burzum as a ’sounds a like’ band up there…
My mom called me a Satanist because I like Judas Priest. \m/
My mom called me a Satanist for listening to Deep Purple
My mom called me a satanist because I don’t believe in god, so I had to tell her I don’t believe in satan either, then she called me a heathen, and I agreed
My mom gave up. She’s finally accepted it’s out of her hands. I think she’s more perturbed by my politics than my taste in music, though.
Read the “lerics” to Children of Bodom … Of all the things this woman could be worried for her child about and THAT has her freaked out? Open your eyes to the wider world and re-order your priorities, lady.
I never found CoB’s lerics too offensive…
If you cannot spell lyrics, you are no position to judge Children of Bodom’s songwriting.
If you cannot read more closely, you are in no position to judge another’s comments :-)
Maybe they meant to say ‘clerics’ and were actually complaining about Dungeons & Dragons.
Not OP but touche groverXIII!
Metal and christian side hugs for Jesus!
I’d rather have side boob for everybody
+1 for the sideboobs
+2
“Also, if you have any questions about Christian Metal or Christianity feel free to senda mail and I will do my best to answer you.”
Especially the part “feel free to senda mail”. I say that should be our new headline/logo
Last updated 09/11/08 aka “We don’t really give a shit about our own site.”
Some people actually believe many metal bands worship satan, some people believe that listening to metal in general will send you to hell, some people are fuckin stupid.
For more incredibly funny content people should visit this site:
http://www.jesus-is-savior.com/Evils%20in%20America/devils_music.htm
This wins for the most unintentionally hilarious website EVER!!! I could spend hours here with my jaw on the floor in amazement of the ignorance highly religious people convey!
No way, google “Christian Metal Realm” ….. MUCH funnier, because its an active message board. That jesus is savior shit is just some crazy woman ranting to herself.
Christian Metal Realm is good, but I can’t get over jesus is savior. Love the Hall of Shame, especially Hendrix’s entry: “Jimi Hendrix: hypnotizing people through music”
YES!!!!
sinner…
oh my god im in tears for the
More satanic bands…THE KILLERS page
Back in the day (90’s) I got one of my good friends at the time in trouble for Listening to Marilyn Manson & Deftones. His mom was a super religious nut and considered me to be a horrible influence and evil person for exposing her son to this type of music.
Welcome to my world. But then that experience seemed to come part and parcel with not having lived my whole live in the South – THAT automatically made me suspect to the parents of other schoolchildren. (Well, that AND the fact that I really was a bad influence.) *shrugs* What are you going to do?
For my part, whilst growing up in a place where there are more churches than hospitals and childcare centers, I came to expect it.
Sounds like East Texas. A new church every block, and Six Flags Over Jesus in the middle of Tyler.
I hope the Christian metal doesn’t conquer and convert scandanavian and south american metal like it did it’s people many centuries ago
Hahah ! + 10
Catholics did that, not Christians.
they aren’t the same thing?
Nope!
If it wasnt for the Catholics compiling and VOTING on what the ‘word of god’ is at the Council of Nicea in 325ce, you would have no bible. Without Catholics, you would have never heard of your sky daddy
@ Biff: You seem like you’re looking for a great debate about faith and what is real and what is not. Why don’t you provide me with some contact information and we can take this off the record. I promise, no harassing correspondence.
Cisco- I have discussed religion/science/philosophy/metaphysics etc soooo many times with Christians, and frankly Im sick of it. There is no point in discussing it….facts and evidence obviously have no impact on your view of the world and life. I might as well discuss unicorns and invisible leprechauns.
@Biff: So you’re scared? Oh, wait you’re tired. Why not give it one last try? Without the insults and name calling. A real intellectual debate. Seriously, what is one more debate gonna do except further your point or mine?
Its the same reason Richard Dawkins won’t debate creationists…… That would be giving your baseless position MUCH more credit than it deserves. But, if you insist, you can email at :
blodhemn9@hotmail.com
FYI- Im usually only on here while I’ve got time to kill at work, so it may take a while between my responses, so keep that in mind if you don’t hear from me right away.
@ Cisco. Accusing Biff of being afraid? You fucking fail so hard at arguing. Those are elementary-school tactics. As for me, let me just say that your entire conception of a deity essentially exists because you took one particular leap of faith among many. Also, my Catholic grandfather would kick your ass if he heard you say he’s not Christian, because it would be insulting to him. Also, you’re using a No-True-Scotsman fallacy in order to defer the blame for past crimes onto other groups, and therefore exposing your narrow-mindedness.
@Alex: Actually, no, you’re wrong but thanks for playing!
I feel like I’m jumping in the middle of a schoolyard fight and putting a hand on each person’s chest and trying to hold them apart (which is pretty stupid, but then I never said I was smart), BUT ANYWAY, I wish you two would acknowledge that you don’t even have any common ground on which to debate and just leave well enough alone. Please stop now. You’ve already established that neither can change the other’s mind and after half-a-day’s worth of exchanges on the subject, I’m not confident you can even come to an understanding — much less an agreement to just disagree. You’re both arguing on different premises, which is counterproductive and pointless. How about everybody keep their hands – I mean, beliefs – to themselves and live and let live, y’all.
Biff, as for not getting on my case earlier, I know you didn’t mean anything by it, but thanks for saying so. We’re good.
Catholics follow the word of Jesus Christ right? That makes them Christian, hence the Christ in Christian. Duh.
BIff, I want to give you a hug. Cisco, you have again proven how fucking stupid you are. You are LESS christian than the catholics, as they follow the bible more strictly, not the revisions made by protestants like Martin Luther.
I would love to hear her response to Cannibal Corpse.
Christians are really fucking stupid in every single way.
I disagree and think you’re making a huge generalization.
Several Christians, including myself, have no problem with secular music or people who don’t believe in God. It’s a personal choice whether to believe or not. I’m not going to call you stupid for not believing, but I guess if you want to base my intelligence off of the fact that I do believe, that’s your own choice.
That being said, I think Christian metal serves its purpose. Some people just really aren’t comfortable with the lyrical content of certain bands, but are still a fan of that particular style of music. I’ve got my fair share of Christian metal for the times I want to listen to something a little bit more positive.
I second that. I believe in the finished works of Jesus Christ and have fully come to accept and truly trust in Him. Having said all that, I have found true freedom in establishing a relationship with my creator, if folks think I am stupid in every single way for my beliefs, then so be it.
“but I guess if you want to base my intelligence off of the fact that I do believe, that’s your own choice.”
You believe in talking snakes, talking donkeys, zombies, people living in whales etc etc etc. What else are we supposed to assume about your intelligence ? you are obviously delusional.
I think that those stories are supposed to be like fables to teach you a lesson. anyone who takes them at face value is an idiot. i dont beleive in god and i find no problem in chrstian metal as long as theres no “HE IS OUR SAVIOR” bullshit lines
well, MANY of these people do take them at face value. Hence, “Cisco” and his creationism.
talking snakes…….
On a side note, you must think that your friends in Slayer are also idiots since Tom Araya and Dave Lombardo have both confessed to be believers.
yeah, they are both fucking morons, as are you.
Slayerfan731 are really fucking stupid in every single way.
Now most highly religious people are dickheads, and I as a non-believer of religion I believe this, but I will defend their right to be a dickhead. Like opinions, everyone has their own beliefs.
Beliefs based on evidence and belief based only on blind faith are two very different things, and should be treated as such. One is rational, one is not.
I’m an atheist, but I still strongly disagree. I think at worst, Christians are only misinformed, and only in one way. Everything else is not general to the Christian population, but is the result of other factors, such as greed. Christians are not in any way genetically inferior to atheists. Everything is a matter of circumstances in life.
That being said, Christianity is fucking retarded, as are all other religions. Belief in circumstantial evidence, subjective evidence (even one’s own) and hearsay makes for a stupid set of beliefs which smart people can often get sucked into.
A heavy metal Bizarro land! It seems that these bands are good at emulating secular music.
“Mom look, they sound evil and secular, but their really not, look! This is our way of overtaking a secular society. First rock, then prayer in schools, to the criminalization of teaching evolution!”
I think you’re wrong with your last point. Creationism has been outlawed in school teaching whereas evolution has been the only accepted subject of how the Earth came to be. A good documentary to watch about this phenomenon is titled ‘No Intelligence Allowed’.
that is the WORST documentary ever produced. It is FILLED with untruths, red herrings,straw mans and every other sort of intellectual dishonesty known to man. Then again, what else should I expect from Christians? Their entire lives are built on dishonesty.
Do you know WHY creationism isn’t taught in science class ??? Because it is NOT SCIENCE. In order for something to be valid scientifically, it MUST be able to be tested and obvseved. Creation CANNOT be tested. It simply says “God created the world”… you CANNOT test that, therefor it is unfalsifiable (a MAJOR red flag) and UNSCIENTIFIC.
Evolution, on the other hand, has been observed,tested,re-tested,observed,verified, etc etc etc, We KNOW evolution happend, we know it IS happening, and we know it will continue to happen.
THAT is why creation is not taught in schools, because it is NOT a viable theory. In order for something to be a theory, it must have EVIDENCE. A theory is a model for explaining FACTS. Creation has NO facts, not a single one. Why should it be given equal time with something that has MOUNTAINS of evidence to back it up?
Because the supernatural is beyond science. Science can only measure what is contained with facts, physics and what can be ‘explained’. The supernatural is so far phenomenon that hasn’t yet been explained. This is why faith is so important; one cannot truly trust in something that they have no faith in. The documentary in question points out how evolutionists do everything they can to push creationism out of academic circles, the very same thing you’re trying to prove in your post. Just because you do not see logic on one side of the spectrum does not mean that it is wrong, it simply means you need to do more research.
Fair enough, Cisco. But until it can be proven, creation theory has no place in our schools. Anyone who subscribes to that explanation of creation can teach or debate it to their heart’s content in their homes or social circles, or at their chosen places of worship. It’s their guaranteed right as Americans to do so. It just doesn’t belong in our public schools.
For the record, I still said that even when I was a practicing Christian.
Also for the record (and speaking in general, not specificaly to Cisco), enough with the name-calling and value judgments, people. It’s not reasonable to belittle others for their religious beliefs or lack thereof — no matter how strongly you may disagree with them. That goes for ALL sides.
Now settle the Hell down, or else I’ll invoke MY god to whoop up on all your a**es.
Cisco said “Because the supernatural is beyond science. Science can only measure what is contained with facts, physics and what can be ‘explained’.”
EXACTLY. you just made the entire argument of “Expelled…” null and void. the ’supernatural’ is NOT SCIENCE. It is absolutely NOTHING , until something about it can be measure,tested,demostrated etc.
If it is NOT science and not based on any objective EVIDENCE it should NOT be taught in a classroom.
Case closed.
Shinaain – you are doing us all a dis-service by saying creation ‘theory’. It is NOT a theory. It has no facts to support it. In order for something to be a theory, there MUST be facts to support it. This is 7th grade level science here.
Creation could be called a ‘hypothesis’ at BEST.
“This is why faith is so important; one cannot truly trust in something that they have no faith in”
That is one of the dumbest things I’ve ever heard. Why would I POSSIBLY need ‘faith’ in something that has evidence to support it?? WHY ? “Faith” is the tool of those who wish to deceive others. Faith can only exist in the absence of fact.
“Just because you do not see logic on one side of the spectrum does not mean that it is wrong, it simply means you need to do more research.”
No, it is because there is NO logic in the creation argument. It would be just as ‘logical’ to claim that Invisible Unicorns created the earth. Logic requires facts, which you cleary cannot grasp. You want to keep living in a make believe world?? FINE. But you people need to stop trying to drag it into the realm of science, where you CLEARLY stated in your above post that it does not belong.
“It’s not reasonable to belittle others for their religious beliefs or lack thereof ”
it is absolutly reasonable to belittle someone if they hold dear superstitious beliefs and rituals that have no basis in fact or REALITY.
It is high time for America to stop coddling these infantile beliefs, like the rest of the civilized world. It is only through open, honest discourse that we can move beyond these irrational, bronze age beliefs and advance together as a society.
“Shinaain – you are doing us all a dis-service by saying creation ‘theory’. It is NOT a theory.”
Biff, I agree that was a poor choice of words and I stand corrected.
shinaain- I wasn’t trying to get on your case or anything, you made valid points…I just don’t want someone who isn’t familiar with the issue to see the word ‘theory’ and give creationism more credit than it is due : )
Of course, Cisco loves to see that word around creationism, he thinks it validates his absurd beliefs.
Biff, you rule!
thanks, I know ! Would you like to subscribe to my newsletter ? ; )
Biff 2012!
BIFF!!! Send me an email! I want that fuckin news letter!
Some of the bands i’m hearing thanks to the Metal Comparison Chart are actually pretty good.
“heaven’s metal”
lol
In one of the testimonials, one guy was into satanism and tried to commit suicide 14 times as a teen… FAIL
He was obviously doing something wrong.
The sad thing is that there are some decent Christian metal bands out there… and even a lot of the fundamental Christians are afraid of them. I mean, they’re spreading the same shit that you are!
It cracks me up how naive a lot of religious people are. Then again, I suppose if you believe in an invisible man in the sky, you’ll believe that all metal artists worship the devil.
The author of that site on his FAQ page specifically states he doesn’t generalize that all “secular” metal is bad. He’s just opening up an avenue for another genre category. And really, there’s nothing wrong with that. There is so much terrible, poppy and sappy Christian music, that he’s probably actually inadvertently introducing secular metal to a lot of people who would otherwise never have gotten into it in the first place.
Even though I find that website to be a bit silly, I would want people to pray for my son if he was listening to absolute shit like Children of Bodom.
+1
to be honest theres only one christian metal band i ever heard that is worth the time of day and thats Demon Hunter
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ya9MsR8qrBY
but even they’re not THAT good
give me behemoth and slayer over anything the biblewhores can come with any day
Extol, Living Sacrifice, Becoming the Archetype, Believer, Tourniquet, Selfmindead — the list goes on…
You left out one criminal omission: Zao.
yeah EARLY Zao is rad, before the entire band left and a new band came in as Zao.
and Norma Jean (i mean they were considered christian when bless the marytr kiss the child came out)
demonhunter is not even remotely good………. at all
Y’all should check out Hands. Really good group that just came out this year… If you like your Isis mixed with some Misery Signals.
Good list.
Yeah, anyone who says nothing good can come from Christians needs to hear Extol. If you can listen to the Undeceived album and not acknowledge talent and skill, you’re just a liar.
Demon Hunter is just fuckin’ HORRIBLE, regardless of religious standpoint!
For pretty damn good Christian metal (as in proggy Opeth style), check out Lo-Ruhamah:
http://www.myspace.com/loruhamahofficial
the only good christian metal band is stryper
Hmmm… when i went on the metalforjesus site i thought it was best doing so whilst listening to some Behemoth.
And then there is hookers for jesus:
http://h.imagehost.org/0947/hookers-for-jesus.jpg
it’s actually a real website: http://www.hookersforjesus.net run by the wife of Stryper guitarist Ox Fox.
(Insert personal religious philosphy and watch people fight over it like hungery lions HERE.) Religion is always a tough one to argue over a forum, especially when no one seems to actually change anyone’s beliefs whatsoever.
I won’t even bother with the religious argument, but there are select few good Christian metal bands. Hell, Antestor (specifically the album “The Forsaken”) is fucking awesome black metal! Theocracy is great power metal. Extol’s first album is also excellent death metal.
The list of bands on the site isn’t really laughable, although some other parts of the site are.
I couldn’t seem to find anything in there about Sleeping Giant.
Antestor is the shit.
I love how Living Sacrifice IS NOT compared to Meshuggah. Because that would be a leap
Literally form the FAQ
“Christian Metal is just as brutal and heavy as the Secular when it comes to the music. What differs is the lyrics. Instead of having bad, destructive or meaningless lyrics (I’m not saying that alla secular bands have lyrics in this vein but many have) the lyrics in Christian Metal are positive. They are bold but positive. They tell the good news about Jesus Christ and have positive lyrics from a Christian point of view where they try to uplift their fans and bring them closer to Christ. ”
Something like… “I love you… You love me…”??
this is pretty metal
http://www.jesus-is-savior.com/Hells_Truth/hells_truth1.htm
Hahaha wow there’s actually a Christian band called MASTEDON. Cheap.
This site is full of crap. When did Cannibal Corpse or Obituary become “mainstream”?
As far as metal goes, Cannibal Corpse is about as mainstream as you can get. Obituary, not so much…but close.
Do some research and you’ll find that Mastedon has been around longer than Mastodon. It was a side project formed by some of the guys from Kansas in the 80’s. Not even remotely a cheap rip off.
what a God Awful site! no pun intended! Guestbook was the best part
“beyonce knowles is of the devil” – this just made my day
When I clicked on the site it said “Problem Loading Page.” I shall take that as a sign.
DON’T BE SELFISH!
Don’t just listen to your Christian Metal Cds by yourself but let non-Christians around you borrow them. Don’t be so selfish! Buy Christian Metal Cds for your non-Christian friends. Let them know that there is a good and positive alternative to all the crap that many of the secular bands are offering!
PRAY THAT GOD WILL USE YOUR CD’S
And pray for Cd’s you have lent to non-Christian friends. Pray that God will touch them and convince them that they are sinners and need to repent and accept Jesus in their lives.
HAHAHAHA