I BET MY MAKE-UP ARTIST CAN BEAT UP YOUR MAKE-UP ARTIST

Thursday, December 10th, 2009 at 12:00pm by

Reader Jared Piers e-mailed us about this unsigned band from Toronto called Speak of the Devil. Now, I’m not going to talk about Speak of the Devil’s music, because whatever. It’s incredibly generic and not for me but to each their own. Rather, I’d like to talk about the below promo photo of the band, which is the first thing you see when you go to their MySpace page.

speakofthedevil

Now, why the hell did this band take a picture of themselves looking like they just got done with a fight? Presumably it’s so they come across as a bunch of bad-asses. But they don’t like like bad-asses. They look like some kids who have make-up on intended to make them look like bad-asses, which, consequently, makes them seem incredibly not tough. It’s the exact opposite of the desired effect of the make-up.

I really, really hope this doesn’t become a trend amongst young bands. Because it’s incredibly dumb.

And that’s all I hafta say about that.

-AR

  • gauche

    at least Andrew W. K. actually smacked himself in the face with a brick.

    • Alkahest

      lawl

    • http://raiseyerfists.wordpress.com raiseyerfists

      hah!

  • justin

    two things… 1) this looks more like it was awfully photoshopped than it looks like they’re wearing make-up. 2) do you think they are implying that they caused the apocalypse happening behind them, or that they are merely survivors in some kind of mad max/lord of the flies world where only awful emo kids lived to tell the stories of yesterday?

    • Driven9

      1

    • orbital

      total photoshop.

  • http://schenkeltown.blogspot.com SchenkelTown

    maybe this is a picture of the rejects from the vulgar display of power album cover shoot

  • Alkahest

    I was about to come here to say that they sound exactly like Born of Osiris, but they just now changed it up and that last section was cool and sounded all Mike Patton-esque. I actually kinda dig it.

    • Alkahest

      Upon further listen, I’d like to call Axl out on calling them generic. This is actually pretty awesome.

      “It’s incredibly generic and not for me but to each their own”

      This coming from the person who constantly praises Sumeriancore, which this band clearly is?

      • evilfatguy

        I would also like to comment on this. They are less generic than about 80% of the stuff posted on this website in a given week.

  • Facebook User

    it’s almost as lame as grown men in blackmetal bands dressing up in clown makeup and scary costumes

    • http://infinitybasement.wordpress.com Jon L.

      1

  • http://uponwingsofblack.blogspot.com/ \m/Eluveitie\m/

    I spy Bill S. Preston!

  • http://www.sarahjessicaparkerlookslikeahorse.com/ ECDEU

    The guy on the farthest right is killing me.

    • Cody

      Haha, I know. It looks like he’s holding in a deuce or something.

  • meow

    This picture is hilarious.

  • Jizzmaster3000

    I beleive those OC cum buckets Avenged Sevenfold started that trend.

  • SHOCKTROOP

    clearly none of those little pussies has ever been in a fight in their lives.

    • F-Bomb

      Because, clearly, having been in a fight is a sign of maturity…

      • Some Random Dude

        fo reezy

  • Kuranes

    Speaking of image… Would at least one of these guys grow their hair? They look like they belong in a dorm party.

    • omgitsbrien

      yea. not br00tal enuf.
      s’all bout the hair man.

      • Benito

        you either have to have a crazy amount of hair to be metal, or straight bald with a diesel beard. scruffy bowl cuts aren’t tr00.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Steve-Bowen/502176360 Steve Bowen

    regardless of the bands promo’s, speak of the devil is one of the better metal acts in toronto. my bands has had the pleasure of playing shows with them downtown a few times, and they actually manage to do a really great live performance. their a lot more progressive and technical than most bands around here haha.

    • Zoker

      And still they suck asshole.

    • justin

      being “one of the better metal acts in toronto” is like saying that catching chlamydia from a suicide girl is better than getting gonorrhea from a stripper.

  • Nate L.

    check their myspace: they got some guitarists, drummer, bass, vocalists, and A LIFE COACH.

    win.

    • Nate L.

      whoa, update: holy snap this band is pretty solid. i like what i hear so far… kinda reminds me of BOO, but this already seems like it’s better than A Higher Place… we’ll see…

  • John

    This doesn’t sound like cursed… not interested

  • chainer

    fucking gaylords

  • MetalMatt

    Yeah and if you inspect their band members……they have a lifecoach/lighting guy. That isn’t badass either.

  • David

    You should see the other guys.

  • Cody

    Rather than surviving a zombie apocalypse or whatever, the more logical scenario is that they just got their pussy asses beat and snapped a photo in front of an airplane crash site.
    Just lame.

  • metalguy

    The best part is they look like they lost the fight

  • http://www.prophetsofdoom.wordpress.com Prophet

    i think its funny that all you fuck-tards are hating on these guys for their image/ promo photo. WHO FUCKING CARES. give the music a shot. its actually sick.

  • prives

    That picture does not inspire confidence…

  • RL67

    I need a cold shower after this one.. I thought Attack Attack was great. Here comes another great band… LMFDiCKO @ Prophet..” i think its funny that all you fuck-tards are hating on these guys for their image/ promo photo. WHO FUCKING CARES. give the music a shot. its actually sick.” You know what I did.. a whole good 30 sec listen 2.. HAHAHAHA you probably look like one of these tight clothes wearing “FUCK-TARDS” ha and I bet your favorite band is Chiodos. I hope 20-30 years from know you look at yourself in the mirror and ask yourself why when I was 15 wear eye make-up like a girl… LIKE A GIRL!!!!!!!!..SHit what was I thinking.. This Scene needs to die with the rest of them and Bring back the good ol days..

    Thank you METAL SUCKS….

    • http://www.prophetsofdoom.wordpress.com Prophet

      this blog is all you have isn’t it…you sound like a child man. lol grow up.

    • Dwarfskeet

      Wait… What. The. Fuck… Did you just say?

      That was like a fucking youtube post. Jesus Christ… Get out of here you little rascal! What are you doing?

      • http://www.prophetsofdoom.wordpress.com Prophet

        are you referring to me as the rascal? or RL67?

        • Dwarfskeet

          RL67. His whole post just looked like something you’d read on youtube.

          • http://www.prophetsofdoom.wordpress.com Prophet

            lol oh i know. its like it should have been written in crayon with cute backwards letters.

  • Master Chah

    So if we’re making fun of their make-up.

    Isn’t that what corpse paint is?

  • orbital

    LOL is the dude on the left realy wearing a fucking V-neck?? bwahaha!!

    • Jared

      No. See better.

  • Jake

    You guys on this shit need to get someone without your head up their ass posting. There are only so many shitty metal bands I can take (I am talking about the anusfists, and the shitty generic black metal bullshit). This band is a gleaming star of originality compared to most of the posts within the last week…Get more of the NEW creators on here, i.e. Protest the Hero, Between the Buried and me, Periphery. The bands that are constantly creating new shit. I dont give a fuck what Metallica, or Hatebrered are doing these days.
    In closing, just b ecause you have blood in your pictures does not mean you are generic. My example below…
    http://www.joeyl.com/blog_images/punchres.jpg

  • Sammy

    That’s some damn fine hair product those guys have, to fight such an apocalyptic war and come out looking oh so pretty.

    • http://www.prophetsofdoom.wordpress.com Prophet

      i dont understand..it just looks like normal hair…

  • Some Random Dude

    lol

    a life coach.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Rufino-Castaneda/100000171789334 Rufino Castaneda

    dude i read all the posts then listened to the music and some one said it was progressive and technical the music is ok at best it sounds like a shit ton of these breakdown ninja bands…. technical and progressive i just dont see how you could say such a thing with a straight face…

    • Facebook User

      I enjoy punctuation.

    • Francesco

      I’d be inclined to agree. All these bands suck fuckin’ balls.

  • RL67

    LoL @ Dwarfskeet… YouTube.. HaHa whaa?? @ Prophet.. Sorry dude.. It’s just, Jack is right, everyhing is is soo water’d down (generic) that it’s give me with an upset stomach.. Bands looking cute.. Everyone sounding the same.. It’s like you have to fit in to what’s hot now in the streets.. I guess that’s just the signs of the tymes.. Hairbands in the 80′s was the same.. The market for looking cute is in and i personally am not really to big on that.. Listen, you pick up a guitar.. Respect!!!! Your doing something that you love.. But this site is called Metal Sucks.. 2Me this band is ass… Be who u are.. Don’t false advertise or be a bandwagon yuppie…

  • http://www.fatelessempire.ca/ Kevin Halsted

    Axl, pull your head outta your ass. This was already said but this sounds a lot like the “Sumeriancore” that you openly praise, just for being sumeriancore. Except these guys actually make me want to listen. like BoO. Listen to more than 15 seconds of the song, its pretty rad, if not somewhat unoriginal. Unoriginal or not, it sounds good. They’re not breaking any barriers but not every band can be amazingly ground breaking and new. For every 5 bands like that there will ALWAYS be 250 bands that copy them, but that doesn’t mean they automatically suck. Deal with it. Just realize that because of this your gonna get a lot of good bands who sound similar to something else.
    These guys are great musicians. They’re songs are great and full of interesting things. Their image is a little less than metal but that doesn’t mean anything. its a fucking picture grow up.

    • http://www.prophetsofdoom.wordpress.com Prophet

      100000000

  • flapjack jack

    Can’t fuckin believe this is all over promo pictures. its a picture dude. get over it! what should they have done taken a picture wearing all black infront of a brick wall like every other metal band? clearly the reviewer was just out to say something bad about this band but couldn’t find anything in the music so he tore apart the pictures instead. get a life bud. and maybe spell check your next terrible review before posting it.