THE DREADFUL DEMO FILES: THE DECEMBER 2009 EDITION, PART III (AKA THE BEST PROMO PACKAGE EVER MADE)
Friday, December 11th, 2009 at 2:30pm by Vince Neilstein
[A series of absolutely dreadful demos to grace the doorstep of the MS Mansion of late has inspired me to resurrect The Dreadful Demo Files, in which we take a look at some of the face-palm-inducingly bad packages we receive. For the sake of these poor bands' egos we've disguised their identities. I'll be highlighting 3 bands this week (view Part I here and Part II here)... the last of which is so absolutely righteous I'm not sure it can ever possibly be topped. -.Ed.]
“Dreadful” would be something of a misnomer for today’s entry, because this is without a doubt the most impressive demo package I’ve ever received. There’s no need to disguise Wrought of Obsidian’s identity because I’d like them to get all the credit for the incredible package they put together! The above image is the outside front of the package; note the full-color vinyl print that’s hand-sewn (!) onto a sizable piece of velvety smooth tan suede. Either the gentlemen of Wrought of Obsidian are well-trained in the art of seaming or they’ve got some very loving girlfriends (or moms).
After the jump, let’s take a look at what’s inside this beast!
Flipping the package over and exposing its under-belly, we see how this package will be opened. Note the fine attention to detail in the burnt edges… someone actually took the time to singe the edges of this entire thing. Let’s open this baby up…
Not so fast! Appears we’ll have to get through one more layer to get to the package’s juicy insides, but in the meantime we’re greeted with color vinyl prints (sepia toned) of two of the band’s sexy members, all dressed up in warrior costumes.
A close-up of one of the side panels. Sexy ’stache! Again, note that this picture has been hand-stitched onto the leather backing.
Close-up of the rivets holding together the rest of the package. Note the twine woven through them to hold it together. Now let’s unwrap the twine and finally get to the meat of this baby.
At last! All four studs are visible in all of their warrior glory. Like a pearl in an oyster, a CD sits in the middle waiting to be discovered.
Lift up the CD case and you get a full band shot (full-color vinyl hand-stitched to the suede, naturally).
More detail.
Close up of the CD, which on closer inspection is not a regular CD but a DVD! How about that? I popped the DVD into my computer; it includes a 3-minute short film of the band on the road, some studio footage, and two full albums of audio.
I don’t think it’s possible for this promo package to ever be topped. Bands may try, but they will never succeed. A true work of art. Well done, boys!
-VN
(six out of five horns)
At that point, I couldn’t even care less what the music sounds like.
the great white on the cover is what truly makes this magical.
Not like going down the pond chasin’ bluegills and tommycods.
This shark, swallow you whole. Little shakin’, little tenderizin’, an’ down you go
We’re gonna need a bigger boat!
I’ll never put on a lifejacket again
Here’s to swimmin’ with bow-legged women.
Little brown eel comes out of the cave… Swims into the hole… Comes out of the hole… Goes back into the cave again…
Cage goes in the water, you go in the water. Shark’s in the water. Our shark.
Fuck yo’ shahk.
I’m not talkin’ ’bout pleasure boatin’ or day sailin’. I’m talkin’ ’bout workin’ for a livin’. I’m talkin’ ’bout sharkin’!
That kind of attention to detail is definitely something to be respected.
yep, i don’t think this is something i’d listen to, but those guys sure put a lot of love into making that packaging. shows true dedication to music as art i think. not a necessary, but a damn fine bonus.
listening to them on myspace now, sounds good (=
I actually thought it sounded good too.
yes but is the music any GOOD?
I’m sold. Longbows and sewing chops are my two prerequisites for getting into a band.
Win!
Man. This isn’t dreadful at all. This is… Mystical. Magical. Beautiful.
I don’t think I’d even need to listen to the music. I could just stare at that package. All day long. That’s a nice, big package.
By the way, artwork on the CD kicks ass. Probably even multiple asses.
The winner of the “Unintentionally(?) Gayest Post of the Day” goes to: Dwarfskeet!
With his(her?) entry:
“I could stare at that package. All day long. That’s a nice, big package.”
Congratulations to Dwarfskeet and thanks to everyone who entered!
nice, big packages, with multiple asses invlolved as well. ‘Nuff said
Yes! That’s what I’m talkin’ about! Woo!
Not only is Dwarfskeet good at unintentionally(?) gay quotes, he(she?) is also a good sport. Thanks for taking good natured ribbing in stride.
Well. If I mean to be a good sport… I guess I should come out and say that, it was intentional. But if I’ll still accept the award. Unless it’s now revoked and going to someone else.
Holy fucking shit. That’s just rad. Here’s hoping they sound like Tool. I don’t know why they would, but then they would really have everything…
Unfortunately their music is shite.
I’ll have to give these guys a listen when I get home. I am intrigued by their fine craftsmanship.
grommets, not rivets.
thought the same thing
thats fucking awsome!
Who gives a shot about artwork and packaging??? All great metal demos looked something like this:
http://www.metal-archives.com/images/5/2/5/5/5255.jpg
And they still rule a thousand times more than all the those fucking pirates…
Look out! It’s the Turtle-Shark-Hawk-o-Saur!!! rawr
this changed my life
Well, it… doesn’t suck. Hell, I like it. The only problem I find is the shitty production that comes standard with demos, and even then this is above most. I actually like these guys, and kudos to them for putting together such a package.
Albeit, those band photos are ridiculous.
It could be ironic on purpose. Then again, it’s hard telling.
I doubt I’d listen to these guys on a regular basis, it’s a little bit generic. Either way, it’s pretty good for a demo and a great deal of effort went into it, I respect that.
They must really like you guys. Music isn’t bad, either. Not great, but definitely not bad.
I’m friends with the loving girlfriend who made this…..
no one has mentioned that the drummer Erik Park plays drums for Devourment too.
Creativity for the win!
texas boys yeah!!!! guitarist is cool as hell…
As the majority of people have said already, the music is surprisingly good. I give these guys a lot of credit for making such a demo package and being able to back it up with good tunes. We need to see more of this happening
These guys have been killing it in the Texas scene for years. Formerly known as Scarline and then Hyperion (loved that bandname). These guys have prog-death down pat!
I also liked the old band name better.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA that was funny, good read! great post. and not a word about their music. classic!
My kingdom for a man to get that Hydra beast as a full back tattoo. It’s one of those artistic creations you dream up as a child and try drawing it but it comes out looking like a fistful of cocks. Well kudos for this guy for trying again once he reached adulthood, unfortunately it still looks like a fistful of cocks, albeit cocks with funny masks on.
My dreams mainly look like fistfuls of cocks. Do you do commissions?
the opening riff to their first song on their myspace sounded like a rip off of Laid to Rest… fortunately it changed it up and i think its pretty good
How’s the music though.
I kinda dig the music…I’d buy it
Hooray for sewing!
I didn’t realize grown men still role played Dungeons and Dragons.
It’s fun… you should try it some time.
Man goes into cage. Cage goes into salsa. Shark’s in the salsa. Our shark…
I figured the best demo would’ve been the one with a $50 inside the case.