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Haterade

JUGGALOS 4 JESUS (AND 4 BOOBS)

 Friday, December 18th, 2009 at 4:00pm by

juggalofaith.comShelby Cobras at Illogical Contraption may be throwing in the towel on making fun of Juggalos… but we’re above such nonsense. It’s way too much fun!

Today I have two Juggalo-related linky-dinks for some end-of-the-week lawlz. Shelby has alerted us to the existence of JuggaloFaith.com, a one-stop shop for all of your Christian Juggalo needs. The site’s creator Rev. B-Lotus seeks to justify the cause with lyrical proof of ICP’s Christianity. Some ICP lyrical examples:

“Truth is we follow God, we’ve always been behind him, the Carnival is God, may all the juggalos find him.”

“Fuck the devil, fuck that shit, we believe in life legit, ain’t you gettin’ what we say, why you throw your soul away??”

I suppose ICP could be a Christian band… which would strike me as somewhat hilarious given all the violence and idiocy they propagate. But then again, hasn’t violence and idiocy been the M.O. of religion, well… for the entire history of religion?

Lastly, I’ll leave you with a link from the excellent Juggalo-bashing blog The Juggalog. Check this out (NSFW!!). No further explanation is necessary.

-VN

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  • Spanky

    …What the fuck

  • cougar party

    I saw a video on CNN of some high schoolers bullying this poor emo kid and his girlfriend. One eventually ended up punching THE GIRL in the face. Turns out it all started because the girl said she didn’t like ICP. Another Juggalo just spreadin’ the word of God I guess.

    • stu

      I can’t think of another act in all of history that has more of a low life fan base. Just vile.

  • http://www.last.fm/user/groverXIII groverXIII

    I suppose it makes sense to get all the idiots together in one place.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Colin-OConnor/1491245262 Colin O’Connor

      I was gonna post something to that extend but you beat me to it lol.

    • DemonicLemming

      Juggalo convention + magic koolaid = happier world.

  • http://Www.hibernum.net Hibernum

    Dude you have to see this site http://juggalofetish.blogspot.com/

    I promise it isn’t a porn site, though it isn’t safe for work. There is a link to a doctoral thesis on Juggalo religious views and a pic of a Juggalo furry. So fascinating!

  • Mike Arose

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ng9yXnv-x_w

    read the lyrics I think it needs to be done. anyone else think so?

  • icp4me

    PRAZE DA LROD!!

  • Kill All

    I read the whole bit of The Juggalog and I feel bad for dustin, ICP sucks, but to be stuck around them and hundreds of thousands of juggalos is enough for me to kill myself. It’s funny how he rips into juggalo’s though, good read.

  • jason

    Check out this photo essay:
    http://www.derekerdman.com/ilovemilkshakes/august2009/DRK_CRNVL/juggalo_gathering_2009.htm

    I don’t think I’ve ever seen so many ugly people in one place. Toothless ‘necks, pregnant chicks smoking and drinking… oh, the humanity.

  • ECDEU

    As a Christian, I am ashamed…

    • http://www.last.fm/user/groverXIII groverXIII

      Yeah, believeing in an invisible sky wizard would be pretty embarassing.

      … ohhhh… you meant about the Juggalos. My bad.

      • ECDEU

        God loves you too.

      • …

        well fuck you too buddy

    • http://www.foucaultsvacuum.com Jay

      As a Christian, I would agree.

      Juggalos cannot avoid being trainwrecks.

  • watson

    Yeah, they have tried to say that the whole Carnival and all the other shit that they use as props/gimmicks are supposed to be representing God and Heaven or some shit.

    It doesn’t make any sense considering, A) the content of thier music, B) the conduct endorsed by them at shows, or C) the conduct of the band or the label mates they sign.

    The song quoted actually goes on to say that ICP isn’t sorry that they tricked thier fans into thinking they were anything other than Christians.

    How many weak-minded ICP fans do you think suddenly went to church because ICP told them it was cool?

    Lame. So fucking lame

    • http://www.last.fm/user/groverXIII groverXIII

      Well, church is a perfect place for the weak-minded… it’s not a coincidence that Jesus called his followers sheep.

      • http://www.foucaultsvacuum.com Jay

        Not too good with analogies, are you?

        • http://www.last.fm/user/groverXIII groverXIII

          Heh… analogy or not, it’s fitting.

        • ECDEU

          1

  • Fuso

    I will admit ….. i enjoyed ICP all the way through until their “6th Jokers Card” …… very entertaining and hilarious indeed ……. but then the whole “Carnival is God” shit went down ……. LAME ! Since then lost all interest …… the fact that they expect people to take them serious and follow what they say …… PATHETIC ! Was entertaining while it lasted though …. good for some laughs

  • Some Random Dude

    ICP sucks. so does Bob Marley. I hate how it’s a rule that if your a young white male you have to like Bob Marley, and ICP reminds me of that which makes me hate them more.

    and Bob Marley sucks.

    • DustintheWind

      What the fuck are you talking about? I cannot believe you are comparing Bob Marley and ICP.. Whatever if you dont like Marley, even though he is a revolutionary person and musician, just dont compare him to ICP who are inbred retards…

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jason-John-Crispen/100000169530540 Jason John Crispen

      i’m a white young male and i’ve NEVER listened to bob marley. his music is garbage. but to compare ICP to bob marley is an insult to bob marley. in other words, ICP is an insult to garbage.

    • stu

      What fucking planet are you on right now?

  • Kaizre

    I find it funny that a lot of people bash on the fan base of ICP every time they are brought up. Truth is, every genre of music has some fucked up fans. I don’t think it makes any logical sense to bash a band based on the type of people that like them.

    Yes, I considered myself a juggalo at one point in my youth. I was never into it hardcore like some of these inbred retards out there, but I listened the shit out of them. I found the music funny entertaining, and despite what others may think, I thought there was some artistic value there. I’m a metal head, I play lead guitar in a metal band of which I write the majority of the songs, am a bit of a music snob, and I can say there there was some value there. I understand we all have different tastes in music. I hate the shit out of country, but put it on and I’ll find something good in it.

    I don’t listen to them so much anymore. I might put on The Wraith of Wizard of the Hood from time to time depending on my mood. Which brings me to the topic at hand. I was religious once, I’m more spiritual now than anything, but when I first listened to The Wraith, and got to that final track, I have to admit I was touched. I sensed genuine emotion in their admission. Despite what some of you may claim about the illogicality of the idea, the truth is that there are a lot of fucked up people in the world, and sometimes it’s better to believe in something than nothing. Not that I push the idea on anybody, my dad’s an atheist and even I will concede the possibility that there is no God, as he makes no logical sense.

    In conclusion, I think some people may be a bit harsh on ICP, simply because they don’t like their music. They have a seriously messed up fan base, they dress like fucking clowns for christ’s sake, but it’s music. Really really weird music. Whatever, this is becoming more of a rant so I’ll just end it…..here

    • the benthic

      who the fuck do you expect to read that??

    • stu

      First hand experience, the dudes themselves are fucking lowlifes, a very large portion of their fanbase are too stupid to live and should be euthanized for the betterment of society.

    • RobotScythe

      Juggalos and Christianity in one place? Talk about a place where thinking never occurs.

      • RobotScythe

        Yes, all music has it’s low-life fans. Hell read the comments on this page on any given day..not alot of MENSA members around here.

        But Juggalos are on an entirely diifferent plane of mediocrity and ignorance.

  • http://www.myspace.com/corpse555 Corpse555
  • http://jas09.deviantart.com/ JAS09

    Oh great, another psuedo-Christian cult to go with the Mormons and Jehovah’s Witnesses.

    • Sean

      You’re leaving out Scientologist’s as well.

  • Sean

    I’m just going to be laughing my ass off in about 25 years when all the Juggalos are going to be clogging up the healthcare system because they became diabetic from being too overweight or crackhead skinny from drinking all of that shitty Faygo crap. Half of them are already on their way to having a massive stroke from being so fucking overweight.

    But in all seriousness, I never underestimate the power and stupidity of the masses. They always throw you that “Well if x amount of people like it, then it’s obviously you with the problem”….yeah well x amount of people thought Hitler was great when he came out, and look what happened. Fuck’em.

  • Jizzmaster3000

    “But then again, hasn’t violence and idiocy been the M.O. of religion, well… for the entire history of religion? ”

    I look forward to your next Hannukkah post.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Tony-Bullard-Jr/500191336 Tony Bullard Jr

    Meh, I got no problem with people being silly if it makes them happy. As long as they aren’t hurting others, fine by me.

    Go have fun, be happy. Don’t worry what other people are doing.