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YOU GO TO HELL, OZZY OSBOURNE. YOU GO TO HELL AND YOU DIE!

 Friday, December 18th, 2009 at 12:00pm by

ozzy&kermit

Ozzy Osbourne has announced Soul Sucka as the name of his new album, according to Classic Rock.

Now, unless this is a very, very poorly timed April Fool’s prank, I’d just like to say that from this moment forward, I am going to pretend that Ozzy Osbourne died in a horrible accident shortly following the release of No More Tears.

I know it’s wrong to judge an album just based on the name, but seriously, fuck your mother in the nostril.

-AR

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  • brandog the meowiest

    Sounds like its gonna sucka.

    • Darkblade

      Unlike all of you fucktard (Axl Rosenberg in the flesh being your king and master: http://b3.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/01293/36/58/1293858563_l.jpg) classless critics, Ozzy has staying power, enough draw to continue to fill venues 32 years and running. What other act can say that? Very few, I’d say.

      • Darkblade

        However, one would not expect less of this most of the time lame @ss site. Any news about Ozzy and you forever incite a flurry of back stabbing comments to connect with your groupies who only come here because you give them a space to put their dumb@ss opinions on the Net. Fuck all of you retards. Ozzy is and forever will be not just the Prince of Darkness but the King of Metal.

        • Darkblade

          So, do the world a favor and go blow your remaining brain cell. Actually, from the sound of these posts, most of you are operating with none, so that would be an overstatement of potential in your cases.

          and btw, I hear you Skeletonwitchcraft…that’s what I thought too.

          brian roach i bet you’re just as attractive as Axl, with the exception that your nose is dark brown from being stuck up his ass. stop trying to speak as if YOU KNOW jack shit about Ozzy Osbourne.

          • Darkblade

            Just check out who wrote this article on Myspace, yours truly Axl Rosenberg. Look in his Pics folder, and see the man you idolize. BWA HAH AHAHAHAHAHAHA~! What a lame @ss goober.

  • Kuranes

    “Black Rain” sounded like it might be a cologne. “Soul Sucka” sounds like it might be a very cheap cologne.

    • cougar party

      HA!

  • http://www.last.fm/user/groverXIII groverXIII

    The “suckas” are the ones who actually pay money for this.

    • Darkblade

      And you’re Gods witness on this why grover? Have you heard his music yet to say this with such surity? 21 of Ozzy’s albums have gone either gold, platinum, double, triple or quadruple platinum. What have we to our name? The fucking dumb name grover? How old are you anyways, 7 or 12?

  • KilledByDeath

    Well. At this point i doubt his voice can even be saved by computers :/ Black rain had a couple of interesting songs, but the singing sucked hard.

    • orbital

      sure they can. It’ll sound like T-Pain singing over butt rock.

  • Facebook User

    i’ll pretend he died after ozzfest 2007, since that was the first time i saw him.

    *sigh*

  • \m/Eluveitie\m/

    It’s a rap metal album

    • http://www.last.fm/user/M60Patton Patton

      Fred Durst is doing all the rapping and backing vocals, this album will also feature many great rappers, such as Kevin Federline and Robert “Vanilla Ice” Van Winkle.

      • http://www.last.fm/user/groverXIII groverXIII

        Also, it will be cowritten by and feature guest appearances by the dudes from ICP and will also feature guest appearances by every artist on Psychopathic Records.

        • tjangles

          But don’t forget Lil’ Wayne will make several guest guitar appearances.

    • Rachel

      Umm yeah and T-Pain. Can’t forget him.

      • Cocksmoker

        Isn’t there already enough auto-tune?

        • http://www.last.fm/user/groverXIII groverXIII

          That’s half the fun… with all that auto-tune, you can’t tell who the guest is! Is that T-Pain? Is it Kanye? Is it Lil Wayne? Is it Ozzy himself? Who knows?

  • WowWee!

    I like the Mr. Garison quote.

    RIP Ozzy, may your legacy be remebered for the good and not the diarrea, same goes for Slash.

    • http://www.themetalreporter.net iRoar

      There is still floods of diarrhea remaining in Slash’s career…

  • Honeynutzz

    How is this surprising? Why where you not pretending that Ozzy Osbourne died in a horrible accident shortly following the release of No More Tears?

  • SHOCKTROOP

    can’t we pretend he died shortly after ozzmozis. that was the last ozzy album to atleast have 2 or 3 alright songs.

    • http://www.last.fm/user/groverXIII groverXIII

      Perry Mason was great, although that was mostly Geezer’s bass that made it great.

    • KilledByDeath

      I’m gonna pretend he had a personality disorder after Ozzmosis, don’t really wish he was dead, just want him to stop making new records. Still would like for him to come to Russia one more time cause i missed the last one ;/

      • Darkblade

        You can’t be serious, Ossmosis (double platinum) and Down To Earth (platinum) with Robert Trujillo rocks fucking big time. Black Rain went gold too, although granted it is a bit different then much of Ozzy’s music in the past, but it’s still an awesome record. Get real, what do you all listen to anyways, Britney Spears, Madonna, and Lady GaGa?

  • Brownsound

    I’m gonna pretend Axl read my comment in Satan’s top 20 list and used it for this appropriate headline

    • Darkblade

      oh yes, Axl Axl, lick lick lick…damn, even your name gives you away.

  • Glorious Johnson

    hopefully ozzy goes 100% autotune. that would be AWESOME

  • Skeletonwitchcraft

    its a tribute to sharon

    • http://www.last.fm/user/groverXIII groverXIII

      HEYOOO

      • Hammer_Smashed_Hurtt

        Well played good sir

        +1

        • tiagón

          winner statement

  • xpurposex

    I’ve got hope for it… It’s got Gus to make it not so ‘play by numbers’. Plus, it’s Ozzy… For me, I will always support him based on his past merits.

    You have to realize that at this point in the game, he’s old and tired but he still wants to have fun. Would you rather see him doing this or be some crotchety old man?

    Can’t wait for Ozzfest 2010!

    • KilledByDeath

      Actually a good point.

    • cougar party

      He would be better served not making music and just doing “greatest hits” tours if he really wants to get out there.

      • KilledByDeath

        that’s pretty much what he does. It’s usually a couple of songs from later albums max.

        • Darkblade

          You all are so full of shit. Ozzy is a singer/musician/performer. I’ve seen acts come and go from a single song to an album or two, none have had his draw OR staying power. The man gave us Children of the Grave and NIB back in the day, and all of the amazing songs in between to our present day. What about Junkie, or Trap Door? Lay Your World on Me, or Here for You? How can you even say his talent as viable today as it has always been. Other than you’re all a bunch of chickens who cluck when you hear others clucking without any thought given to what you’re saying. Ozzy has been a drug addict – that’s part and parcel of having lived 35 years in rock-n-roll. Do we expect less of our super-stars? Just because he went on primetime and was shown at his lowest with Parkin disease and news of Sharons cancer (both which deeply bothered him) I for one don’t point a finger to judge his entire worth based on a 43 pill a day drug habit escalated by drinking and other stuff he was using at the time. He was a drug addict coping the way he knew how, doing drugs. Would YOU have handled those things differently given the same history? That is NOT who he is today for sure, nor is it who he has been throughout his career. He is sober today, happier and healthier then he’s been in a long time. Give the living Legend a break.

          • Darkblade

            ==How can you even say his talent IS NOT as viable today as it has always been.==

          • Darkblade

            Ozzy is amazing…to hear how badly you all trash him on this site is pitiful. Why this amount of angst towards a man with more talent in his little finger then most have in their being, very much strongly capable of rocking our world. No appreciation OR RESPECT for his heritage, nor his continued gift given to the world. Listening to 90% of the bands on the air today, this kind of malice is REALLY MISPLACED. Seriously. Maybe it’s just “vogue” to you all to rip on him. Pretty unfounded, and the behavior of mindless sheep baa’ing to fit in the herd if you ask me.

            And btw? He’s not doing this for the money, he’s creating because IT’S WHAT HE DOES.

            What a bunch of hyena’s. Damn.

  • SouthFL Infidel

    Soul Sucka sounds like a 70′s blaxploitation movie.

  • Tim

    *sigh*

  • brian roach

    Terrible title, but i’m gonna be a grumpy old man and say he’s done nothing good since the Jake E. Lee days! ‘No More Tears’ was ok, average at best, and everything since then has been crap. He is a living legend and deserves all he’s achieved, but I wish he would retire, it’s painfully clear that he has nothing left artistically to offer…

    • Darkblade

      The only thing that is painfully clear brian roach is that you are an opinionated asshole who feels like he can bray loudly, in his element amongst all the usual Metalsucks.net goober chronies. Ozzy continues to be a bright star in the music scene sky – his music is as relevant today as Godsmack, Metallica, System of a Down or any number of other great bands WHO AREN’T here today and gone tomorrow.

  • Facebook User

    I can’t help but think this is a stab at Zakk Wylde

    Soul Sucka

    hes sucking someones life out fo them sorda, saying he fuckin owns Zakk
    then sucka being a chump bitch

    naww man… this is fucked. ozzy is just trying to release an album for money. hes been doing alot of promotional stuff lately. a majority of ozzy fans hear it on the radio. they have no idea whats been going on behind the scenes with zakk and ozzy and gus. what will they do? buy the album and rave on and on about how good it is when they really dont know two shits cuz they arnt an actual metal head.

    ozzy is officially pop rock. what can you expect for an olllld motherfucker like him anyway? lmfao! whats going to happen when ozzy DIES?! thats right! ive always wondered. wanna know how its gonna go down? MICHAEL JACKSON ALL OVER AGAIN!

    we gotta accept this people

    either way, fuck this album already

    • Facebook User

      shut the fuck up

      • WowWee!

        Are you telling yourself to stfu or is it a different facebook user? Either way I agree. Except Ozzy never molested any children (that we know of) and isn’t as popular as he is/was.

        • Darkblade

          well, the way i read it this was Facebook Users alter ego telling him in concise language what to do with his hemmorhoidal, drifing, dribble of a speech.

    • Darkblade

      And you are so gay. Michael Jackson my ass. Ozzy is NOTHING like him. You people are fucking IDIOTS.

  • Tiger’s Mistress Fred

    You fucked my mother in the nostril? Shit, I feel bad for you… my mother has small nostrils!

    • Discipleofthewatch

      Right in the nostril!

  • Hammer_Smashed_Hurtt

    Dude this album is gonna have guest spots from Pam Grier, Rudy Ray Moore, and Richard Roundtree.

    Dolemite BITCH!

  • Hammer_Smashed_Hurtt

    And Max Julien.

  • rupert

    any word on ozzfest yet?

  • pigchop

    fuck you all. Actually, that would be a good choice for this record’s name.

  • SourDeez

    It must mean he’s trying his hand at singing all the funky hits from classic blaxploitation movies.

    • d.o.g.o.b.g.y.n.

      He’d better do the theme from “Dr. Seuss’ ‘How The Pimp Stole Christmas’”

  • skullsession

    :( I love Ozzy.

  • Facebook User

    Look for more autotune than your ears have room for, drum loops and Lil Wayne pimping out the Prince of Darkness.

    Dammit Sharon.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jason-John-Crispen/100000169530540 Jason John Crispen

    more like dick sucka

  • familyghost

    lol ozzy fails these days. his first 2 albums were awesome, then the first 2 wylde era albums were good. after that, he sucked.

    • Darkblade

      Opinions are like assholes, we all have them, and in your case yours definitely STINKS. check out his sales stats…for all his releases. that would explain the brown stuck to your head…it’s been stuck up your butt so long.

  • AATHD

    Ozzy might get sued! In 2003 Lil’ Nigg Nigg had an album with the same title. Spelled the same way too!

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Sara-Petrocelli/519197405 Sara Petrocelli

    I feel bad for Ozzy. He either doesn’t see or want to see that he just doesn’t have it anymore. He had a good run. He should just sit back and enjoy his life instead of shitting on his legacy.

    • Darkblade

      So says the sage Sara, in all of her teen wisdom… let us all take a moment and bow down low to Sara. If Ozzy wishes to create Sara, what the fuck business is it of yours if he does? Truly? Many many many fans in countries all over the world love him as much as they ever have, and are extremely excited to hear his new material. They don’t harbor such ill will towards him. So, if he defines the age of retirement to be never, as David Gilmour does, Roger Waters does, Paul McCartney does…does that really sit so poorly with you that you would say with such trite and droll surity “he is unworthy?” Give me a freaking break. Ozzy is viable today, and I for one am DAMNED happy he’s continuing to put out good songs for me to rock to. Why such negativity and pretentious efforts to exert control over whether he continues on in the scene or not. What is this, age discrimination? Fuck, you people are so lame.

  • d.o.g.o.b.g.y.n.

    The only way I’ll buy this album is if Aunt Esther is on the cover.

  • http://www.kingdomofnoise.blogspot.com MetalMatt

    seriously? oh Ozzy. I saw Black Sabbath on Ozzfest back in ’00 or ’01. Let’s say he died after that.

    • Darkblade

      what a prime example of a fucktard.

  • dot

    he’s already rockin’ the shades like it’s ’93, let him do gangsta rap if he wants to.

    or at least let him do a cover of RATM’s “renegades”.

    “now dance sucka, dance sucka. now move sucka, move sucka.”

  • rattler92

    Ozzy Osbourne is to rap what lesbian porn is to Elton John. Pointless and worth nothing in the end

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jose-Luis-Pomales/100000321386863 Jose Luis Pomales

    Soul Sucka????? sound like a Rap or Reggae Music, Not like a Metal, What happend with Ozzy??

  • Darkblade

    All this over the release of the title of his CD. Damn people. What a nasty crew you have formed here.

  • John

    Heavy Metal Rules. OZZY is the man. Dont diss the Prince of Darkness! Long live heavy metal!!!!!