IT’S STILL SO HARD TO BELIEVE THESE TWO DIDN’T LAST

Monday, December 21st, 2009 at 4:30pm by Axl Rosenberg

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So apparently the source of the split between Evan Seinfeld (Biohazard/Damnocracy) and Tera Patrick (porn) was Patrick’s request that Seinfeld leave the adult film business. Says an evil tabloid owned by Rupert Murdoch:

In her new memoir, “Sinner Takes All,” Patrick recounts how she told Seinfeld, her husband of seven years, last summer that he had to give up starring in X-rated films if he wanted to stay married to her. (Patrick herself had not shot a new video since 2006.) After Seinfeld chose the flicks, the couple split in September.

Writes Patrick: “I said to Evan, ‘I’m your wife, and that is the strongest bond two people should have, and that should come first. I’ve moved on from porn. And I want you to stop. You promised me you’d only do porn for a few years. Your few years are up.’ ”

“My big point was this: Almost every couple in porn breaks up, and I didn’t want to be another porn statistic,” she says in the book. “I didn’t want the porn curse to hit us. I’ve seen it happen to other couples. Doing porn as a husband and wife team is safe, but once one branches out to do people outside the marriage, that’s when the trouble seems to set in.”

After being rebuffed, Patrick fled from her home in Los Angeles to Las Vegas to stay with her mother. Of her divorce, she writes, “Though it was my choice, that doesn’t mean I wasn’t devastated. I so wanted him to tell me he would quit and put me first. But he didn’t and that will forever hurt.”

Why not just call a spade a spade? She asked him for a monogamous relationship, and he said “I’d rather be paid to fuck women who aren’t my wife.” There. The divorce explained in plain English that a two year old could comprehend.
Rather than overthink this any longer, I’m now just going to direct to you to some Patrick-Seinfeld porn. Try not to get any on the keyboard, m’kay?
-AR

34 COMMENTS on “IT’S STILL SO HARD TO BELIEVE THESE TWO DIDN’T LAST”

  • cougar party says:

    Slow news day, huh?

  • Ziltoid says:

    There’s only one Seinfeld that I care about, and this isn’t it.

  • bearbomb says:

    What sucks more cock than Tera Patrick? Biohazard.

  • Master Chah says:

    A more interesting topic would be a discussion on whether or not MetalSucks should get an AdultFriendFinder account or not.

  • The Great Danton says:

    Gotta love porn music

  • SHOCKTROOP says:

    “almost every couple in porn breaks up, and I didn’t want to be another porn statistic”

    you didn’t want to be another porn statistic of breakups, so you broke up with him? genius.

  • Broken Mushroom says:

    If you know a two-year old that understands the concept of “monogamous relationship”, I’d kindly thank you to stay the fuck away from my children.

  • mahkiavelli says:

    I know we all hate rap-rock around these parts, but due to my own sick curiosity I’ve been revisiting the Biohazard discography. It’s criminal that they never got big, while Fred Durst and company did. I’m not saying they were ground breaking musicians by any means, but their recorded work (well, a few albums anyway) is way better than the entire Biskit discog. I’d much rather listen to Biohazard bark about social injustice than hear Fred Durst “rap” about breaking stuff.

  • Harold says:

    HAHAHAHAHA…..they’ll never learn.

  • Benjamin says:

    And I was just saying how I think Tiger Woods is a great guy.

    No really, he’s a fucking HERO for christsakes. What man wouldn’t
    bone all these GORGEOUS women throwing themselves at you,
    married or not?

    Christ, it’s so ridiculous them crucifying this guy for being a healthy man.

    Fucking stupid is what it is.

    Meanwhile his spoiled asshole wife is gonna get HALF. HALF EDDIE.

    ONE HALF OF EVERYTHING EDDIE

    • Metallibrarian says:

      I hate to break it to you, but Tera Patrick has WAY more money than Evan Seinfeld. Women in porn make many times what the men make, and women who have companies and stuff named after them, like Tera does, make even more money. Evan, meanwhile, was in a mediocre hardcore/rap/metal band and did some shitty VH-1 shows. IIt’s more likely Evan will try to get a hold of some of her cash…

      • Chumplunt says:

        Dude, seen OZ at all? Though considering all the sex on that show didn’t involve 4 annoying bitches, HBO probably didn’t pay too much.

  • Deathexplosion says:

    pornstars don’t age well at all.Tera looks like shit.

  • Fufkin says:

    I put Evan under Joe Elliot in the Thoroughly Unpleasant Person / Unspecified Talents file.

    • Ludovica says:

      I never looked a any of his porn actions..
      Until now..
      Made so easy all i had to do was click..
      That was nasty!
      He is horrible..
      I once read somewhere David Lee Roth is his favorite jew..
      I dont have any favorites..but at least he exploited sex with style..
      Right…hopefully i can blocck this asap ;-)

  • Josh says:

    Isn’t every tabloid pretty much owned by Mr. Murdoch

  • chauncey chompers says:

    how did I know he’d have a small dick? some dudes just have that written all over their face….and I guess their arms with stupid “tribal” tatoos

  • TurdFerguson says:

    I used to work at a porn shop about 5 years ago and was the top seller after a $3600 night. i sold 4 latex molds of Tera Patrick’s ass and pussy and 11 latex fists. now that she’s single, i won’t feel so guilty banging that mold anymore.

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