So on Friday night on friend Sergeant D. at Metal Inquisition got wasted and made the below tribute to Burzum and Varg Vikernes. Now, I can already sense that some of you are going to bitch that this isn’t that funny, and, in truth, the idea is pretty simple – but there’s something about the mixing of the music with the pictures and, of course, the context, that just makes me giggle every time I watch this…

And while we’re on the topic of Sergeant D., please allow me to work in this shameless plug: the dude designed this awesome t-shirt for us. Why don’t you show some love and buy one?

-AR

MetalSucks photographic wiz girl Diana Lee Zadlo bore witness to Black Cobra and Pelican’s performances at The First Unitarian Church in Philadelphia, PA on December 1st. Once again she’s been kind enough to let us premier her awesome photos. Check ‘em out after the jump… that is, if you’re not too riled up about that Village Voice piece like Kip and Justin are.

Click to read more…

“Welcome to Overthinking It, where we subject the popular culture to a level of scrutiny it probably doesn’t deserve.” So reads the site disclaimer at the top of OverthinkingIt.com, which does exactly what it claims to do. Much like MetalSucks, OverthinkingIt.com attempts to take an intellectual approach to art that may or may not warrant it. Their latest topic is the [semi]-ironic cock rock of Steel Panther, a band this author loves but many just don’t seem to get.

What’s great about OverthinkingIt’s Steel Panther piece is that it delves deeply (very deeply) into every facet of the band’s approach — their lyrics, their look, their stage-show, their historical influences and relevance, their musicianship, their general existence as a parallel to Starship Troopers (zuh? read the article) — and concludes that Steel Panther are, indeed, the shit.

Here’s a band that most people probably take at face value for their silly look and ridiculous lyrics, but when you look beneath the surface there’s a whole lot more going on there. And that is precisely why I like Steel Panther’s Feel the Steel so much. It’s smart and well thought out in every imaginable facet. It’s big, stupid rock for smart and dumb people alike.

-VN

[Thanks: Nicholas Nutter]

Way back before Death Magnetic came out I observed that the album’s cover looked like a big, hairy vagine. I wasn’t alone. Naturally there was an entire army of like-minded Internet snobs ready with their super-soakers full of Haterade, but it turns out that the members of Metallica noticed the similarities too. In the “Extras” section of their recently releases live DVD Francais Pour Une Nuit, the members of Metallica were asked to comment on the matter.

I find it amusing that each band member’s personality really shows through their answers; Rob tries to paint the picture of a decision made by a band with “mystique” (despite the fact that he probably had zero input in the album cover), James is all “whatever you want it be,” and Lars frames it as a work of art while being the only band member who actually uses the word “pussy.” Love it. Where’s Kirk? I would’ve LOVED to hear his answer.

-VN

[via Blabbermouth]

Last week’s Worst Tattoo Ever of the Day post — in which some sucker drew with crayons tattooed his back with logos of ’80s hair metal bands from the most popular all the way down to Tora Tora — seems to have struck a nerve. The post elicited a healthy number of comments while being spread on the Interwebs via Twitter and Facebook. Whether people were laughing at this poor chap or laughing with him really matters not — regardless of whether your skin is virgin clean or you’ve got a few bad tattoos yourself, this shit’s kinda funny, right?

MS Maniac Ryan F. sent in a photo of a bad tattoo of his own doing, pictured above. Explains Ryan: “I bought a tattoo gun online for about 50 bucks and my friends and I used to get wasted and tattoo each other. I decided one night to get ‘What Would Phil Anselmo Do?’ down my leg.” I can see Ryan explaining this one when his grandkids ask, “Grandpa, who’s Phil Anselmo?” “Well, Phil Anselmo sang for this metal band and sometimes ranted and raved about white pride… err, um, nevermind.”

This is fun. I could see it becoming a regular series. Got a funny/bad/embarrassing metal tatoo? Send ‘em in to news [at] metalsucks [dot] net, or better yet post ‘em in the comments for all to see/laugh/excoriate.

-VN

Our bestest buds at Metal Injection found the below footage of DEP performing a new song, “Farewell, Mona Lisa.” It’s hard to get a really good feel for it given the mediocre audio quality, but it sounds pretty cool to me…

DEP’s new album, Option Paralysis, comes out March 23 on the band’s own Party Smasher label, via Season of Mist.

-AR

Someone on the SNL writing staff must like metal. Just a couple of weeks ago, Dave Matthews did a pretty killer Ozzy Osbourne impression; now, this past Saturday, the show, which is usually pretty terrible these days, did a spot-on satire of that infamous Gathering of the Juggalos infomercial. If every sketch on SNL were still this funny, I’d say the show was actually worth watching.

This same episode also saw the debut of Nuno Bettencourt as Rihanna’s new guitar player. I’m not going to post video of that here, though, because Nuno’s talenters were just as wasted as you’d imagine they’d be playing in Rihanna’s back-up band.

-AR

Sometimes I feel fairly certain that a substantial portion of the people who leave comments on MetalSucks would be considered legally brain dead by most medical doctors. Having said that, I’m glad they read our website.

Here’s what happened in the world of metal this week:

• We spoke to Darkthrone’s Fenriz, Iron Age’s Wade Allison, and Swallow the Sun’s Juha Raivio.
• We debuted a new video from Austrian Death Machine.
• Everyone wants to kill everyone else because of all these decade end lists.
• Also, people are cranky about that Dimebag tribute album.
• Kip Wingerschmidt thinks that Stewert Voegtlin’s recent trashing of Baroness, Mastodon, Pelican and Neurosis was “eloquent.” The Austerity Program’s Justin Foley disagrees.
• Unfortunately, there is going to be a new Limp Bizkit album.
• Lambgoat is streaming “Mechanical Seas,” a new song by The Binary Code!
• I admit it: I left the ring stain on Julia Louis-Dreyfuss’ table.

Last night we went to a fancy-schmancy holiday party with an open bar and got faschnickered. Tonight I’m… going to a fancy-schmancy holiday party with an open bar. If I’m not here Monday, it’s because I died of alcohol poisoning.

Have a good one, y’all.

-AR

Lookit, lookit! It’s an awesome commercial for the MetalSucks sponsored Tyrants of Evil North American Tour 2010 featuring Arch Enemy, Exodus, Arsis and Mutiny Within!!! Man, if only all commercials were this not-annoying (or however you’d say that). Most commercials are like “Do you need shit? Well here’s some shit that will help you with that shit you need!” and then there’s some lame jingle that makes you wanna kill a child in front of its parents. But not this commercial – no, this one is just selling you an AWESOME FUCKING METAL SHOW. And no lame jingle. Just so much awesome riffage in just sixty seconds. I cannot fucking wait for these shows.

Check out the commercial first, then get dates after the jump!

Click to read more…

I know that a lot of you hate Iwrestledabearonce, but you can start your own damn website!

So. I haven’t gotten to see IWABO since they absolutely decimated the Bowery Poetry Club (you read that right) at last year’s CMJ, because they never come to New York. Now they’re about to embark on a headlining trek, aaaannnnddd… they’re not coming to New York. Swell.

Anyway, this tour – dubbed “The Tour That Stole Christmas” – is going to a feature a  nightly lotto. Attendees can enter at the merch booth for a dollar, and the winners get to come on stage and open a prize. Here’s a silly video with more details:

Get tour dates after the jump. If anyone goes, please let me know if they play either “Eli Cash Vs. The Godless Savages” or “Pazuzu for the Win,” so that I can live vicariously through you.

Click to read more…

I have Orphaned Land’s new album, The Never Ending Way Of ORwarriOR, but I haven’t listened to it yet because, uh, I’m a douche bag. But I fully intend to get to it this weekend, and am excited to do so. Gotta support my fellow Jews in metal, y’know?

Anyways, here’s the cover art. I think it’s pretty cool… reminds me of my bar mitzvah, sorta:

The Never Ending Way Of ORwarriOR comes out in Europe on January 25 and in the U.S. on February 9 on Century.

-AR

Last Saturday’s performance by The Faceless in New York City was special — it’s not often you get to see a band perform an entire album, let alone a NEW band perform an entire [relatively] NEW album. That The Faceless were bold enough to attempt it and able enough to execute it should speak volumes about the band. They’re total pros, even at such a young age, and they’re absolutely at the top of the proggy tech-death pack.

Here’s a video from the show that I found on YouTube of the band performing “Sons of Belial” and “Legion of the Serpent.” Having been shot from above in the back of the room, some of the energy seems absent… but down on the floor, even towards the back where I stood, there was an amazing feeling throughout the audience. The show was positively mesmerizing. And not for nothin’, Dying Fetus absolutely killed it before The Faceless; if not for their decidedly un-PC band name, I’m certain Fetus would be just as popular as Cannibal Corpse.

-VN

Earlier this week, when discussing the Metal Hammer Dimebag tribute CD, I wondered aloud “I don’t really know Malefice, should I?” And a bunch of you responded that, yes, yes I should know Malefice.

Now our hetero life mates at Metal Injection have debuted the band’s new video, for “Architect of Demise.” And it’s not bad at all. It’s not gonna change anyone’s life, but it’s definitely headbangable. Check it out:

Malefice’s most recent album, Dawn Of Reprisal, is out now on Metal Blade.

-AR

But it would have been so much sweeter if he’d died when he was 43 in 1991, the year No More Tears was released.

Anyways, here’s video of him when he was still cool.

Head over to Metal Insider for a retrospective written by someone who is not currently fighting a wicked hangover.

-AR

Gwar frontman / Fox News interplanetary correspondent Oderus Urungus is back for another round of his famed MetalSucks advice column “Ask Oderus.” Got a question for Mr. Urungus? Be it about life, liberty, the pursuit of happiness, Gwar, prosthetic dongs or any other topic that’s burning a whole in your humanoid heart, leave a comment below and Oderus himself will pick a few to answer next week.

After Corey Mitchell’s perfect review of their album Executioner, how could we resist running a tour blog from Mantic Ritual guitarist Jeff Potts? Read his first installment below, and if you’re very well behaved, others will follow…

Right now I’m sitting back stage at the Masquerade in Atlanta with the peculiar kind of sore throat that only comes from prolonged screaming and generally abusing the hell out of the vocal chords.  This doesn’t sound that weird for a guy who’s in a  thrash band on a black metal tour, but it’s actually pretty odd – because I’m the guitarist.

Click to read more…

For a prolific band (they’ve released five albums since their inception in 2000, three in as many years since 2006), Swallow The Sun have surely not been one to disappoint. Reliably bottling the gloomy atmosphere of Finland into equally gloomy metal, their latest Spinefarm release New Moon is a bona fide contender for this guy’s year end list.

MetalSucks recently caught up with Swallow The Sun guitarist/founder Juha Raivio to cover all the ground between the band’s two previous (and fantastic) releases and New Moon, a welcome addition to Swallow The Sun’s already impressive discography.

Click to read more…

Earlier this week, a sample of “Heart Killer,” the new single from H.I.M., emerged; now the full song is streaming on the band’s MySpace page.

I gotta say, I’m a little disappointed. I know H.I.M. were never exactly Hate Eternal, but they have material with way more edge than this. It’s just not even really that memorable as pop metal.

Check it out, and then feel free to disagree with me… as though you needed permission.

H.I.M.’s new album, Screamworks, comes out February 9.

-AR

Thanks to Kye for the tip.

[From Metal Injection]

-VN

The headline says it all.

Full credit to our friend Jen Guyre at Noisecreep for finding this.

-AR