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Haterade

A SHITSTAIN ON THE ASS OF THE UNIVERSE (PART 12)

 Monday, January 4th, 2010 at 4:00pm by

Abandon All ShipsHoly crap, have we really not done one of these since September? Daaaaaammmmmnnnn. Time really does fly when you’re having fun at the expense of others.

Anyways, this particular stain made from shit is called Abandon All Ships, which makes even less sense than most band names these days. Abandon all ships? Why? Why the fuck would any navy in the world ever give that order? What kind of mass disaster could cause the abandonment of multiple ships? I’ve heard the expression “abandon all stations,” which makes sense – if they ship were going under, you’d want to tell everyone to abandon their stations and get the fuck out while the gettin’ the fuck out was good. But why the fucking fuck would you abandon all ships?

Anyways, Suckalo Matt Poulter saw these dudes open for Protest the Hero recently, and we sympathize with Matt’s plight. On the other hand, he says that PTH played Fortress in its entirety, so at least he got something out of the deal.

-AR

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  • http://www.myspace.com/ihopeyourot DemiGod

    Holy shit, my brother was just listening to these guys and I thought, “Fuck, wonder how long it’s gonna take before this fucking band pops up on a shitstain article on metalsucks”
    Tell you what, I’ll just go fish through my brothers Ipod, you guys will be set for the year on these.

  • bearbomb

    PTH is not that good, these ass-clowns opening for them merely proves that.

    • orbital

      Agree

  • tim

    Wow, that guy had to see these guys AND Protest the Hero? I’m sorry he had to experience that.

    • gnarlk

      was that show put together by dick cheney or something? terribleness abounds…

  • http://thenumberoftheblog.wordpress.com/ groverXIII

    I never like to judge a book by its cover (or a band by its picture), but I’m going to make an exception here… these guys look gaytarded.

    • http://www.last.fm/user/M60Patton Patton

      You nailed it, I’m staying the fuck away from bands that look like erm… I dont even know how to describe them.

  • John

    SOUL FUCKING PATCH

  • The Overmatt

    Man, I didn’t think you guys’d actually post this. Glad I could bring a little more suck to everyone’s day.

    • The Overmatt

      PS Sitting at the back of the venue and heckling them was still a pretty good time.

      • poopsmcgee

        I heckled them so much when I saw them with Protest the Hero. Between every beat of every breakdown I made fucking sure the band new they sucked.

  • I’m not racst, but I hate Oceano

    This band is fun and that Abandon All Ships not making sense thing had me dying for no reason.

  • http://schenkeltown.blogspot.com SchenkelTown

    like it in the butt…core

  • http://www.myspace.com/whitearmsofathena Josh

    That means that PTH played Bone Marrow live at least once…Would’ve liked to have showed up to the show late

    • The Overmatt

      Bone Marrow even had the middle-eastern sounding intro. I was pleasantly surprised.

      • Alex_P

        FUCK I MISSED IT!

        Fuck my work. I was supposed to have it off. FUCKING FUCK FUCK.

  • http://myspace.com/miniferret Miniferret

    Haha yeah I saw them with Protest the Hero as well, they were pretty horrible but at least I laughed the whole way through their set. PTH still kicked a lot of ass though!

  • Boob

    These kids need to stop using exclamation marks with their band names….

    Like.. it’s not just Abandon all ships… it’s ABANDON ALL SHIPS!!!! AHHHH!!!!!! Like if Stephen Baldwin’s character from The Usual Suspects were saying it.

    Oh my god they’re canadian…. sorry for this everyone.

  • Beereded

    I’ve seen enough S.O.T.A.O.T.U. bands since September for Metal Sucks to have a daily column.

  • Anticosmic

    There actually local to my area, and I unfortunantely got dragged to see them playing a local gig. I witnessed the largest collection of 15 year old chavs and scenesters i’ve seen in one place at that show

    • Facebook User

      I experianced the exact same. florescent nike dunks, pink skinnies, and a fitted flat cap

  • Vakarm

    NOTHING, and i do mean NOTHING, that considers itself a mix of euro techno and hardcore can be any good. Weeping Jesus on the f*cking cross those are two worse genre out there. To mix them is begging for an ass kicking!

  • FurtherIntel

    Protest The Hero is pretty good.

    As for this Abandon All Ships bands… the music just by itself (without vocals) would be pretty cool – Euro Trance with some heavy riffs is all. But with the vocals added plus the incredibly gay singing makes this band suck dick. So basically yeah, they suck.

    • loganarchy

      Erm…no. No, it wouldn’t.

      You, sir, should kill yourself.

      • Dirtman73

        Hopefully he’ll off you before he offs himself.

  • Alex_P

    Also, two Armani Exchange shirts. Reminds me of the Asian kids in high school who got really shitty grades, but lots of girls, and then ended up dying at 17 in street races.

    • Brownsound

      I lol’d

  • Donk

    A guido hardcore band.. I thought I’d never see it. Hardcore is officially the new pop.

    • Kevin

      Please don’t call this hardcore..

  • LuciferSam

    i got through exactly 3 seconds of the first song on their myspace and i was done……

  • Facebook User

    LMFAO i saw them in Ottawa open for protest the hero and ive scene them at other shows aswell, and they fucking bloooowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww horrible synth/breakdown/emopradasinging GARBAGE mixed with house music…………… the singer looks like a fuckin guido himself

    ASSASINATE THE FOLLOWING opened for THESE guys, and they kicked ass! definately check them out

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Troy-Rickard/1516566408 Troy Rickard

      I actually kinda like this band. Though a little less singing would be appreciated, still, listenable.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Emmanuel-Quinones/100000463639580 Emmanuel Quinones

    lol i have that pedestrian whatever song its kinda cool

  • braincake

    googled abandon all ships to hear what this crap sounds like, and i also got a bonus….

    BROKENCYDE!!!!!!

  • Old Skool Metal

    What an absolute abortion.

  • Facebook User

    at the protest the hero show in ottawa, when the singer was walking by, i yelled “DONT FUCK IT UP!”

  • Ray Flemming

    I know these dudes from way back when. Drew and Nick were in another band called Buried and Breathing that just fucking kicked ass. Now they go and join this band too. My subconcious somehow tricked me into liking this band for about 3 days, now I can’t even stand hearing their name mentioned around school. The only thing this band really has going for them was that they were doing the whole cher-core thing before this trend got started, so they can’t exactly be accused of being trendies.

    And Nick, if you somehow decide to come back to this page, sorry dude it”s not that I hate you as a person, i’m just sick of this band.

  • http://twitter.com/hometownbrandon Brandon

    solid dudes, solid future.

  • Mitchell

    lol they’re playing Cobourg, Ontario this weekend

  • Dennis

    I like them. Obviously any media is good media, and if they’re big enough to notice/spend time bashing, then they’re doing something right.

    • http://reaper-x.deviantart.com/ Reaper-X

      That’s never healthy logic.

  • Hardcore Kid

    These guys played with In The Act Of Violence last night in cobourg & they fucking sucked for a headliner. In The Act Of Violence stole the show & everyone pritty much left after ITAOV played.

  • matt

    anyone ever clicked into there back track? the singer don’t even fully sing. next time anyone sees them live, look at the singer, can’t hold the notes and “somehow” theres still singing when know ones singing…. fishy