Well, it’s 2010 and The Chariot are through playing second fiddle. After spending a significant chunk of last year on the proverbial road opening for bands like Norma Jean and Evergreen Terrace, Josh Scogin’s band of metalcore brothers will finally–and rightfully–venture out on a lengthy American headlining tour of their very own later this month. Unfortunately, said tour will feature some of the blandest, most generic opening acts that heavy music has to offer today.

Wars And Rumors Of Wars, the band’s latest for Solid State Records, earned a (dis)honorable mention on my personal Best Albums of 2009 write-up for its frenetic blasts of meaty metal riffs, throttled drums, and uncompromisingly fierce albeit throaty yelps. Given the progressive, inventive sound of that record, I can’t say I’m all that thrilled with the choice of laughably-bad-to-tolerably-mediocre openers for the Tours And Rumors Of Tours dates. Labelmates Inhale Exhale make passable metalcore with clean emo vocals adorning their kid-friendly choruses, but I can certainly do without cringeworthy screamo carbon copies Greeley Estates, Memphis May Fire, and The Color Morale. Do all of these dreadful bands have the same management company or something? Look. I know I’m not exactly part of the core demographic for this type of music, and yes, I’m a grumpy old bastard who largely shuns what the kids listen to today on principle, but let’s face it: these opening bands fucking suck. Ugh, if not for The Chariot, these gigs would be a complete waste of resources. Evidently, this tour’s youth-baiting lineup is one for the metalcore scenesters, and if you’re like me, you’d do best to show up late. Real late.

So why show up at all? Well, I caught The Chariot’s energetic opening set last month at New York’s Gramercy Theater, and I was thoroughly impressed by both their fiery performance as well as the boisterous crowd response. More people should be listening to this band, even those who recoil at the very mention of “Christian metalcore.” This is the band’s strongest lineup yet, and provided that Scogin doesn’t dismantle The Chariot as he’s done at least twice before (by my count), their next album could be extraordinary.

Announced Tours And Rumors Of Tours dates are:
1/27 W Palm Beach, FL Ground Control
1/28 Orlando, FL The Social
1/29 Jacksonville, FL Jack Rabbit’s
1/30 Tallahassee, FL Big Daddy’s
2/1 Columbia, SC New Brookland Tavern
2/2 East Ridge, TN The Warehouse
2/3 Columbus, MS Princess Theater
2/4 Whitehouse, TX The Warehouse
2/5 Dallas, TX The Door
2/6 Houston, TX Meridian
2/7 Austin, TX Emo’s Jr
2/8 McAllen, TX The Incubator
2/9 San Antonio, TX White Rabbit
2/11 Albuquerque, NM Launchpad
2/12 Flagstaff, AZ Green Room
2/13 Tempe, AZ The Clubhouse
2/16 Victorville, CA Karma
2/17 Anaheim, CA Chain Reaction
2/18 Palmdale, CA The Crossing
2/19 Goleta, CA Hard To Find Showspace
2/20 Orangevale, CA The Boardwalk
2/22 Portland, OR Hawthorne Theater
2/23 Seattle, WA El Corazon
2/24 Boise, ID The Venue
2/25 Salt Lake City, UT In The Venue
2/26 Casper, WY Hall Of Champions
2/27 Denver, CO Marquis Theater
2/28 Colorado Springs, CO The Black Sheep
3/2 Minneapolis, MN Triple Rock Social Club
3/3 Chicago, IL Reggie’s Rock Club
3/4 Indianapolis, IN Emerson Theater
3/5 Detroit, MI Magic Stick
3/6 Charleroi, PA Club Octane
3/7 Syracuse, NY Westcott Theater
3/8 Vineland, NJ Hangar 84
3/9 Crofton, MD Macc
3/10 Richmond, VA Canal Club
3/11 Raleigh, NC The Brewery
3/12 Atlanta, GA The Masquerade
3/13 Macon, GA The Refuge

-GS

[Gary Suarez didn't start the fire. He manages the consistently off-topic No Yoko No. Say, why don't you follow him on Twitter?]