WORST SONGS OF THE DECADE? THESE DON’T EVEN COVER IT.

Monday, January 4th, 2010 at 1:00pm by

So The Village Voice – which, depending on who you ask, is either a bastion of intelligent artistic commentary or the most pretentious toilet paper in print – recently compiled a list of the fifty worst songs of the decade, and, sure enough, some terrible nu-metal found its way onto the list. Here are three notable entries, via Blabbermouth:

08. LIMP BIZKIT and JOHNNY RZEZNIK – “Wish You Were Here”
10. FIELDY’S DREAMS – “Baby Hugh Hef”
12. DISTURBED – “Land of Confusion”
14. KORN – “Ya’ll Want A Single?”
15. HINDER – “Born To Be Wild”
19. NICKELBACK – “Something In Your Mouth”
27. KELLY OSBOURNE and OZZY OSBOURNE – “Changes”

Now, I’d never argue that these are terrible songs. But of the seven songs listed above, four are covers. And I just can’t take a cover seriously as the worst pick for each of these groups.

I understand how upsetting it is when someone ruins a song a you love. But then again, none of the artists listed above are great songwriters, and their covers therefore have one distinct advantage over pretty much every other song in their catalogue: they were written by someone else?

So, yes, the Durst/Rzeznik duet of “Wish You Were Here” is an absolute rape of Pink Floyd’s genius – but the original isn’t going anywhere. How can a version of that beautiful song possibly be worse than this Limp Bizkit original, released in 2000?

And Disturbed’s version of “Land of Confusion,” at least, features no monkey noises of any kind.

Hinder is a band that is only enjoyed by retards, and “Born to be Wild” is a pretty retarded song to begin with. Still, I showed this video to my nephew, and he has consequently been held back two grades:



Here’s what Kelly Osbourne gets into when her dad isn’t around to protect her… this sounds like something the killer from Silence of the Lambs would listen to while he tucks it back and starves a chubby chick:

Also, I just can’t take any “worst song” list seriously unless it has this gem on it:



Jesus. That is the worst thing Danielle Harris has ever been in. And Danielle Harris was in four of the very worst Halloween movies. FOUR.

Alright, team… your turn to weigh in… what were the worst songs of the decade?

-AR

  • The Ogre

    Come on. 5FDP have way worse songs than that, not to mention that they have the worst guitar tone of all time.

    • metalguy

      yeh the bleeding is probably their best

      • metalguy

        not that their anygood. least bad would put it better

        • tom

          agreed

          • Reaper Man

            They got a 9/10 review in Metal Hammer for their new album and said it sounded like slipknot meets machine head with tool quality vocals. so after i was done prespectavely jizzing i downloaded the album to discover it was (as i suspected) a complete piece of shit and actually has a song called “Falling In Hate”. Fucking really?

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Will-Gingernigz-Rich/636725841 Will Gingernigz Rich

    The Comedown by BMTH. Say No More.

  • noobpotato

    inb4predictablebrokencyde/attackattacksong

    • noobpotato

      But Ja rule and swiss beats, with Metallica :)

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Kasper-Maigaard/1027001938 Kasper Maigaard

    Da-ha-ha-hamn 5FDP sucks!

  • bearbomb

    ANYTHING by Theaory Of A Deadman! I fact, they win worst BAND of the decade.

  • http://www.fuckoffmyself.blogspot.com Jedsan

    Chocolate Rain, Anything by new Slipknot, “1-2-3″ by Britney Spears, “The Unforgiven 3″ by Snaretallica, and the whole ‘FIYA!’ E.P. by Dvar.

    • Andy Synn

      Damn, I like Unforgiven 3.

      - 3 zillion cool scene/kvlt/br00tal/tr00 (delete as appropriate) points for me…

  • Brian \m/(-_-)\m/

    Snoop Dogg covering Sad But True at Metallica’s MTV Icon in 2003

    • http://myspace.com/northwestroyale Blake

      Ya know… that may be the winner.

      • Chelsea Grin Triangle

        That was the best performance of that whole show. Snoop rules.

  • http://schenkeltown.blogspot.com SchenkelTown

    i like that korn song!

    …and it’s kind of shitty that they put that limp bizkit song on the list. sure, the song is terrible, but it was recorded for a charity, so they should get a LITTLE credit for that aspect

  • John

    I’d say the ten worst songs of the decade are all of the nickleback singles, and they’re all tied for number 1 because I can’t tell the difference between any of them

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Brandon-Forde/666126214 Brandon Forde

      1

  • http://thenumberoftheblog.wordpress.com/ groverXIII

    I kinda liked Disturbed’s ‘Land Of Confusion’ cover. You heard me.

    So is the a “Worst Songs” list or a “Worst Covers” list?

    Also, this list is invalidated by the lack of any Black Eyed Peas or Fergie songs… I mean, I really expected to see ‘My Humps’ in the top 5.

    • Andy Synn

      The In Flames version is better.

      Of “Land Of Confusion” I mean. Not “My Humps”.

      Their version of that is TERRIBLE.

      • Zoker

        Wrong! I like In Flames but their version sucks balls… the Disturbed one is not bad at all…

        • Andy Synn

          Wrong! I don’t like Disturbed and their version sucks balls… the In Flames one is not bad at all…

          This could be the start of something beautiful…

          • http://www.facebook.com/people/Rik-Powell/286400508 Rik Powell

            Wrong! I like both Disturbed and In Flames and both covers are decent but I prefer the In Flames version.

          • http://www.themetalreporter.net iRoar

            “This could be the start of something beautiful…”

            That was pure win, sir!

        • joshkid

          I gotta agree, the In Flames version is shit. Disturbed’s cover is really good

          • loganarchy

            my humps is fucking amazing

      • http://thenumberoftheblog.wordpress.com/ groverXIII

        I heard that In Flames version of ‘My Humps’ is OFF THE CHAIN SON.

    • Jugglemonkey

      Agreed. Disturbed may be shit, but they did do a half decent cover there. It could have been FAR worse.

  • braincake

    staind or nickelback…the entire discography from either one of those.

  • ColinJ

    Anything by those talentless cock-chuggers Brokencyde.

  • http://lordsofmetal.nl/index.php?lang=en Cavorka

    Worst song of the decade: Five Finger Death Punch – The Bleeding….oh wait, already there! In that case: any Limp Bizkit song

  • joshkid

    Worst song of the decade: Soulja Boy Tell`em – Crank That (Soulja Boy). ’nuff said.
    for all the guys that live on mars and don’t know what this is all about, here ya go:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8UFIYGkROII
    65 MILLION views. Kill me now.

    • http://thenumberoftheblog.wordpress.com/ groverXIII

      Yeah, fuck that dude with the end of a broken beer bottle.

    • gibberish

      so… you’re complaining about how many views it has… by posting a link to the video, thus bringing in MORE views?

  • Hammer_Smashed_Hurtt

    Hmm not enough time in the day but im gonna go ahead and say every song on the Metal Hammer POS “Tribute Album” for Dime. Save for Evile, Chimara and Machine Head. Everything else on there is enough to get Phil back on Heroin. Its that bad.

    Oh and everything by HellYeah…Why Vinnie?!

  • WowWee!

    Why do songs that appeal to pop culture always suck?

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Keith-Brown/537636633 Keith Brown

    That God Damn Vampire Weekend song

  • I killed a Dunky

    Once again eveybody forgets 3DOORS DOWN

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jake-Ryan/596440962 Jake Ryan

    Chased Through the Words By a Rapist by Waking the Cadaver. fucking shit i want them dead…

  • BEHEMOHAWK

    Disturbed’s Land of Confusion is great.

    That whole album is awesome.

  • Jonathan

    Enh. I don’t find 5FDP to be so bad, as I’ve heard much worse.

    Soulja Boy
    The stupid, “You’re a JERK!” song that I keep hearing around school and want to punch the person playing it.
    Anything by Hannah Montana and/or the Jonas Brothers.

    I can tolerate 5FDP… as long as I don’t watch their “Look how hard we try to be metal gangstas!” music videos.

    • Andy Synn

      Dude, they’re called Five Finger Death Punch… you know they’re all hard and work out and stuff.

      Plus I have heard from a reliable source that they are contractually obliged to punch at least one person in all their videos.

      • Rapidfire

        Haha! Yes I think 5FDP have that in their deal, though if I’m trying to be ‘serious’ about compiling shitty songs it wouldn’t make my list, somehow I don’t see how “The Bleeding” is a bad song.

        • Andy Synn

          True. To be fair compared to much of the garbage out there they are just depressingly generic. Bit of Pantera, bit of Slipknot, some Nickelback friendly choruses, some solos to prove that they’re “real” metal, some generic angsty lyrics about how people don’t understand… meh. They just don’t do anything for me. Other people like them, that’s fine.

          I declare anything by the Fall Out Boy / Paramore school to be the “worst” song, for the simple reason that somehow that sort of pop (and it is blatant pop, just holding guitars) has become perceived as actual “rock”…. it upsets me that that is what rock is perceived as by the masses these days.

  • loganarchy

    kryptonite is a great song

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Brandon-Forde/666126214 Brandon Forde

      Get off this website.

      • IWRESTLEDYOURMOMONCE

        lolol

  • I’m not racst, but I hate Oceano

    I liked that Kelly Osbourn song but I’ve got a weak spot for elctro-pop.

  • dlux

    the disturbed cover DOES include monkey sounds! listen to the pre-chorus it’s like “rah rah rah” fuck those guys.

  • Alex_P

    Absolute worst? Black-Eyed Peas: My Humps.

    Worst metal (“metal”) song? The Devil Wears Prada: Dez Moines.

    • Dimebag6isc6

      +1 Interwebz to you sir. TDWP is the most shitty band I have heard in recent days. Talk about having no musical direction whatsoever

      • Sambo

        No musical direction? Please tell me you weren’t smoking anything dude. If you want “no musical direction”, look at any rap artist over the past 3 years. And TDWP is FAR more better than Attack! Attack! or This Romantic Tragedy! WRAABB is one of my favorite albums of 2009 and their live shows are crazy.

        • Alex_P

          The Devil Wears Prada inspired countless shitty bands, and were themselves terrible. They are the progenitors of shit. Thus, they qualify over Attack Attack!, who may be worse but are also unoriginal in their suck.
          Deathcore-era JFAC is equally insidious, and is a runner-up.

          Also, there are so many good rappers. They are just unsuccessful. I fucking love Madvillain (non-pop structure bursts of insight over inspired production), and I also recommend the Roots (who do not sample, but have talented musicians).

          • ColinJ

            I haven’t heard note one of their music, but I still find it impossible to imagine that there is actually a band who would call themselves ‘The Devil Wears Prada’.

            So I can only imagine that they would be a bunch of complete emo cock-suckers who should be throw into the nearest AIDS pit.

  • William Grimmkvlt

    That One Word video is the only time I thought Kelly was attractive. Probably because that wig covered her jowls.

  • Gaia

    Uh, has anyone noticed that the Limp Bizkit song has lyrics from ‘Closer’ by Nine Inch Nails? Was quite alarmed when I saw that.

    • Raezzer

      It unfortunately has stuff from The Perfect Drug and Burn in it as well.

      If there was ever any band that could ruin NIN lyrics, it would be Limp Bizkit

      • http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.channel&contributorid=19569360 Garske

        That was because Fred Durst was trying to write a ‘diss’ track to Trent Reznor.

  • http://www.last.fm/user/M60Patton Patton

    Glad to see the metal sucks hate crew in such a good shape :]
    As for the worst song of the decade, anything that Chad Kroeger spewed out of his whore mouth.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Trip-Cahouet/706361037 Trip Cahouet

    1. Fireflies- Owl City
    2. My Curse- Killswitch Engage*
    3. Hate My Life- Theory of a Deadman
    4. Dani California- Red Hot Chili Peppers
    5. I Disappear- Metallica*

    *= I like the bands, just some crappy songs.

  • Sambo

    I’m surprised that no one mentioned Black from Sleeper Cell.

    Anyway, “War is the Answer” is such a great album in my honest opinion. I don’t mind 5FDP’s music but I can admit the whole “trying to be tough” thing does get annoying.

  • Malacoda

    At least they put Brokencyde right at the top of their list.

  • Alex_P

    Also, this list is more or less spot on, even though it lacks Black-Eyed Peas songs.

  • wolfface

    Where the fuck is Hey Delilah? Worst song ever and impossible to get out of your head!

    • dEV

      Amen. I cringe at the thought of how many fratboys with guitars are trying to get laid by playing that song at parties.

  • Sandy n Papo

    “let the bodies hit the floor”, or whatever is called… and a lot of the songs used in wrestling

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Rik-Powell/286400508 Rik Powell

      It’s just called “Bodies”, but yeah that song fucking sucks. And this is coming from someone who like nu metal and even some of the stuff by that band. I don’t want to hear that song ever again though.

  • dEV

    Nobody’s mentioned Puddle of Mudd yet? Seriously?

  • http://www.hatespire.com Nymik

    “Here are three notable entries, via Blabbermouth:

    08. LIMP BIZKIT and JOHNNY RZEZNIK – “Wish You Were Here”
    10. FIELDY’S DREAMS – “Baby Hugh Hef”
    12. DISTURBED – “Land of Confusion”
    14. KORN – “Ya’ll Want A Single?”
    15. HINDER – “Born To Be Wild”
    19. NICKELBACK – “Something In Your Mouth”
    27. KELLY OSBOURNE and OZZY OSBOURNE – “Changes””

    …somebody needs to learn to count lol

  • Superhans

    i think there are far worse songs from the decade than the above listed… none spring to mind at the moment which renders this post entirely pointless

  • Tanner

    Any song that is played on the Radio has my vote

  • FlyingDadBomb

    Celine Dion’s butchering of “You Shook Me All Night Long” takes the cake. God, I even cringe at the thought of that cover.

  • http://jas09.deviantart.com JAS09

    You showed Hinder to your nephew? You oughta be jailed for child abuse. I have reported you to the authorities.

  • Steph

    I Got A Feeling by Black Eyed Peas is not only the worst song of the decade but possibly of all time.

  • lost goat

    the worstest song of the decade has to be that stupidass hinder bullshit “lips of an angel”

    good grief- what retarded,sappy-ass,pud rock bullshit

    somebody needs to go up to hinder and say “hey hinder- FUCK OFF!!!”