FUNNY PHOTO CAPTION CONTEST: WIN A COPY OF REVOLVER’S PANTERA ISSUE
Thursday, January 7th, 2010 at 5:00pm by Vince NeilsteinIn case you missed the memo, Revolver Magazine has switched things up a little bit. They’re now publishing only 6 issue per year instead of 12, but each issue is thicker, better, and comes with extra goodies. The very first issue in the new format has a lengthy look back on Pantera’s classic Vulgar Display of Power, including interviews with all the living band members and others close to the inner circle of the band members. It also comes with a nifty swag package that includes a mock ticket, flyer and tour laminate.
Naturally I’m mentioning this for a reason… we’ve got three copies to give away this week! But first let’s announce the winner from our last funny photo caption contest of 2009, in which one lucky chap wins everything that Ferret Records released all year:
- Pete: “Even in his youth, Matt Pike refused to wear a shirt to any event, including Christmas Dinner.”
Well played, sir! About those Revolver Pantera issue copies… just come up with a zinger to the below photo and they shall be yours. Remember to use a real email address instead of Facebook Connect so we can contact the winners (you may have to log out of Facebook).
Lacuna Coil Wedding
After cutting their cake with a samurai sword the bride and groom performed ritual seppuku. All those in attendance agreed that it was for the best.
“I now pronounce you, man and knife.”
Sorry for that.
I fucking love gentle comedy, don’t apologize.
A long-lost photo from the wedding of Kid Rock’s evil twin, Samurai Rock.
zombie extra from the movie “Halloween” and mid 40’s party “dj” jim goots (upper left corner), look on as rob zombie’s cousin frank and his lovely bride mittens cut their wedding cake with a samurai sword… man with headphones blasting korn (bottom center) observes dilligently waiting for a peice of the purple hell pastry.
*corrected*
zombie extra from the movie “Halloween” and mid 40’s party “dj” jim goots (upper right corner), look on as rob zombie’s cousin frank and his lovely bride mittens cut their wedding cake with a samurai sword… man with headphones blasting korn (bottom center) observes dilligently waiting for a peice of the purple hell pastry.
Kid Rock, keeping the Boy Scout motto of “Be Prepared” close at heart, made sure to be prepared for a ninja attack at his wedding.
“I am metal, therefore I like unconventional things such as swords, purple wedding dresses, blue wedding cakes and a vortex above my fireplace.”
i’m calling bullshit on the claim of revolver being bigger. i’ve had a subscription for about 5 years or more and it’s gotten progressively slimmer. and it’s got about 50% more ads now than it did. even the new “supersized” pantera issue is slim and takes about 2 minutes to read.
my caption: two shit heads cut a cake
The only time you’ll see Sam Dunn not wearing a metal tee!
That girl is cute, WTF? Proof of the existence of mind control drugs?
For just $50, Lars Ulrich and Dani Filth will stand on your wedding cake too!
Win!
“I do, ninja!”
Varg marries Blackberry representative in Chinatown
These people found true love after a Nightwish look a like contest.
make sure not to cut Joe C honey, ’cause im a Bridegroom Baybeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.
Metal : An Inadequate Husband’s Journey
You winz them internetz!
Thankeez
Man, he really does look like that guy. Nicely done.
The newlyweds lacked proper cutlery to cut the cake with due to the fact that they registered at the local anime & comic book shop.
that dude in the background is like “Wtf?”
Not realizing that this was actually the cake from his bachelor party, they accidentally killed the midget stripper hiding inside.
FTW
YES.
I have nothing funny to say about all of this, I just think that’s fucking awesome.
The only thing more metal than cutting your wedding cake with a katana is cutting your in-laws with said katana.
wedding slashers!
Only a true Hanzo sword could cut through this cake.
It’s a nice day for a purple wedding.
NOT PICTURED: The father of the bride hanging himself in the men’s room.
For his kids’ wedding, the Nuge spares no expense!
Decimate the Weak side of the cake.
This news headline has just came in! By the power of Heavy Metal and rum, two fans of the “Pirate Metal” band Swashbuckle have been married. While their wedding was extravagant, there was a mistake. While the groom had request a traditional pirate sword, the wedding planner accidentally bought a traditional Japanese Samurai sword. Seeing as they were heavily intoxicated, the couple didn’t mind at all.
“This is odd,” said the witch as she hid behind the speaker.
In no other event than a wedding is it more apparent that the cake is indeed a lie.
We must behead this Kurgan cake! THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE!!!
The groom decided to use the samurai sword to cut the cake because he wanted to save his machete for hacking his in-laws.
We’re level 70 White Trash.
Shit guys, you shouldn’t make fun of Stevie Ray Vaughan.
While the hairless figurines on top of the cake did add a nice touch, it wasn’t quite the effect the newly-wed Devin Townsend was hoping for, as he had just grown back his skullet.
It was when they drew the sword to cut the cake, that both sets of parents began to cry, and wish their children could’ve found someone who wasn’t a complete jackass.
“It’s imporant to remember that everyone is entitled to happiness, even two alleged pieces of trash such as Kid Rock and Lorena Bobbitt.
Until next time, take care of yourselves, and each other.”
Actual footage taken from the new Nightwish “Made In Hong Kong” DVD
“I WANNA BE A NINNNJAAA BAAABY”
Ooh, I got another one:
A white-trash wedding with a hint of Oriental.
Purple Halloween Costume Dress $50 dollars
Samurai sword $35 dollars
Marrying your cousin with the pretty mouth….Priceless.
“He has to whip it out every damn time!”
The redneck $20 wedding…and the tradition of cutting the cake with the sword that was used to circumcise all 15 of his brothers before him
Redneck thought bubble – “Whooeee this here be the best wedding i could ever dreamed up, I gots my samurai wedding cake annihilating sword…mmm i’m gonna get me some a’dat sweet lovin’ from my lady rita..trailor’s gonna be rockin’ and shit n’tarnation we got a lynneeerrdd skinnnnnaaaaaaayyyrd cover band! Yeah BABBY!!”
We are sooooooooooooooooooooooo uncoventional that we had a wedding, but we wore “rad” clothes and cut the cake with a samurai sword. Yeap, we don’t play by the rules of society! We are rebels!!
katana kake kutting-KKK
oh lord, I’m so high right now I’m seeing purple ninja weddings.. good shit
At the cake cutting ceremony, it dawned on Jenny’s father that there was something seriously wrong with the cake knife….and his new son-in-law.
Brad Delson (Linkin Park’s guitarist) got a new haircut but still can’t manage to pry those damn headphones off his head, even when he shows up for his best friend’s oriental themed wedding.
Late 80’s nuptial photo of Alice Cooper and Prince, who only wanted to use a sword to slice this Purple Cake. Purple Cake, Purple Cake.
Damn it, now I’ll be hearing “Purple cake, purple caaaaaaake…” in my head for the next few hours.
“Order now, and you’ll receive the deleted scenes from Bam Margera’s wedding, now with more Iggy Pop!”
After killing Bill, the Bride retired…but she did break out the priceless Hanzo sword on special occasions. Like, for instance, her marriage to the Mad Hatter. But, unlike her first wedding, the only thing that died this day, was her self respect.
I can cut this cake to 1000 pieces with the great art of samuri steel. Luckly there was only 7 people at the wedding. (bride, groom, 3 witnesses, camera man, and the minister.) Good thing Al Jourgensen was on his meds.
This is the last time we hire a Japanese catering service.
“Baby after this I’m getting a tattoo of Japanese character with your name on it in a place I know I will regret.”
Odd rituals at a weddiing? Wow LMAO, how funny is that!!
Clearly the MS crew needs to get out more.
The real reason Kristen Randall left Winds Of Plague…she stole the replica samurai sword made from their album Decimate The Weak and proceeded to elope and marry a tr00 metalhead.
The Bam Margera wedding theme. Where the wedding cake is made of your own pubes, and everyone gets a bill for the service at the end of the night. The after party consists of doing a lot of drugs and beating your father senseless when he goes the bathroom.
Br00tal Cake.
Holy Diver meets November Rain.
And thus Kid Rocks wedding in Podunk Michigan went off without a hitch with little Bob Richie cutting the cake with a Katana sword whispering “Im an American Badass…”
And if you talk to her again it’s off with your head!!!
damn there is a woman for riff raff. (besides his sister)
A true Juggalo would use a meat cleaver.
Jack Black has dropped the twinkies since 09′, but now He’s about to ruin it all by eating this huge cake at his wedding on his own instead of sharing with his lovely wife Sarah Palin. Congrats to the newly weds!!!!!!
Forever we will love each other… AND SATAN!
OR
Detroit’s Bob Ritchie formalizes ties with Bawitdaba Clan.
Rock of Love with Bret Michaels: The Budget Edition.
I think this is how Jim Belushi would have done it…just hope we don’t end up in Samurai Divorce Court.
November Purple Rain
thats great, best one so far!!!
If they were that rough with the cake, imagine how they were in the bedroom that night….
Just when Kid rock couldn’t become anymore of a redneck, he cuts his wedding cake with a samurai sword.
Takes a real man to help his new wife cut the cake with a Samurai sword.
Sam Dunn’s new sequel to 2005 documentary “Metal: A Headbanger’s Journey” takes the genre to a new level, properly titled “Metal: It Cuts Cake Too”.
an early bam margera with kid rock music video
The bride was left questioning what the groom used to cut his steak.
You may now slice the Grimfrost cake…baked in Hell’s infernos, frosted with the blood of Grimace.
This must be a sign of how bad the couple feels about the Hiroshima bombing.
The new album cover for the next Guns ‘N Roses album: ‘Japanese Matrimony’
Even King Diamond hates cakes.
I fail to see the correlation between this guy and the King. Perhaps the top hat is what you were getting at?
I kanta think of something funny to say.
=D
I’m sorry.
You’r ninja buddy is one crazy redneck. Just look what he got us as a gift. But honey thats not as bad as the note on it,,” kill her with this”
Psssssssssssssh samurai sword.. that’s tame compared to the Osbournes’ wedding.
Exclusive! The first wedding photo from Bret Michels Rock of Love 4, “Till Samurai do us Part”
A young Bruce Dickinson couldn’t find his fencing sword! So he is his new bride resorted to using a katana sword to cut the cake!
She then turned the knife on herself.
Fuck! I hope her sister is really a mute.
In the name of Saint Vitus and King Diamond. I knight thee cake.
No cash for utensils = pitchforks, shovels..and samurai swords. (Seating is limited)
At least she could talk him out of using the chainsaw …
Scott “Scunty D.” Hedrick at his wedding, order his wife to kill his mini-me so he will have connections down in hell. And soon learn the secrets to making the most blackest metal album ever.
this couple had TOO many black tooth grins.
You might be a redneck if; you and your cousin use a samurai sword to cut your wedding cake
Maybe they should have left out, “til death do us part”
MAYBE IF WE HEATED UP THIS SWORD IT WOULD BE EASIER TO CUT THIS HASH CAKE BABE
“I vow this will be the last time I play with my sword” he says, as she grabs his shaft for the first time
Oh God, hopefully they didn’t forget about the stripper.
well its about damn time we found a knife!!!
is it just me or does the cake seem further away?
shouldnt have drank before my wedding ninja swords and barney dresses, what is going on!!!!