A SHITSTAIN ON THE ASS OF THE UNIVERSE (PART 13)

Wednesday, January 13th, 2010 at 1:56pm by Axl Rosenberg

The band is called Next Stop Mars, and the track is entitled “Hx Porn.” That should tip you off right away as to how awful this is going to be.

Still, if you’re morbidly curious:

MS Maniac Name Not Applicable tipped us off to the existence of this band, although he rightfully recognized how awful they are…

-AR



58 COMMENTS on “A SHITSTAIN ON THE ASS OF THE UNIVERSE (PART 13)”

  1. Aaron R A says:

    This really seems like a parody…. But doesn’t it all?

  2. Heavy Metal says:

    Whats with the random shirtless part? Who do these guys think they are Manowar?

  3. timmah says:

    THAT WAS SOME CLEAN-ASS SWEEPING!

    At least the intro to the video was long, so the song was shorter than I thought it would be.

  4. joshkid says:

    best line of the song: “I wanna see your panties on the floor”. UBER-LOLZ!!!!!
    Wow I cant believe that theres a band out there thats worse than Attack Attack!…

  5. RockOutWithMy...YouKnow says:

    I remember my grandmother lost her sunglasses like 20 years ago. I think the lead singer found them.

  6. orbital says:

    what in the fuck is this shit

  7. Adam says:

    Wow, they just took the worst parts of every shitty synthpopcrabcore band and found a way to make it shittier. I didn’t know this was possible.

  8. Lorenzo says:

    Anybody else notice that bass player that only appears when they’re wearing white?

  9. oh my god. who fucking buys this crap? Who signed this crap? What the fuck is going on? Does anyone actually listen to this shit? WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH THESE PEOPLE???

  10. canea says:

    Uhhh. I kind of liked it. In an I kind of hate it kind of way.

  11. metalcupcakes says:

    i think even fans of attack attack and brokencyde will hate this band. Although I wasn’t expecting the sweeping part.

    • tyler09 says:

      I dont mind Attack Attack!. Brokencyde are so fucking terrible that its funny. But this? Their dads need to tak ethem behind the shed, and do what is necessary. This makes me contemplate suicide

  12. Paolo says:

    I don’t think I’m Pro-Choice anymore.

  13. Ryan says:

    It’s like they can’t decide whether they want to be metalcore, Eurotrash techno, or a Jonas Brothers cover band.

    They gotta be trippin’.

  14. Timur says:

    wow…not very manly is it….

    who likes this and funds this type of music?

    where is the talent?

    when was this considered quality of any kind?

    how will they look back at this when and if they grow up?

    and finally…why?

    I feel sorry…I don’t even kn for whom? .. maybe myself for wasting two minutes…

    T

    p.s. wow…is this only in America or a world wide pandemic?

  15. Strapping Young Lad says:

    Horse the Band, what have you wrought!? Don’t get me wrong, I really like Horse the Band, but more and more bands think it’s now OK to use that style of keyboards. Horse the Band pulls it off… these guys, not so much…

  16. Sambo says:

    Breathe Carolina is so much worse than this crap!

  17. Fuck the bed, that is the worst band I’ve ever heard, no contest.

  18. Paolo Gregoletto says:

    Let me amend my comment above. I am no longer Pro-Life.

  19. lkgf09 says:

    pink microphone = lulz

    This video somehow managed to be even gayer than I expected.

    • Ziltoid says:

      Looks more like a dildo, which would explain the lack of heterosexuality in the video.

      • Dwarfskeet says:

        I was about to leave a comment asking that. Was he singing into a dildo? And the intro was ridiculously long and obnoxious. I think I just cried a little, what is this world coming to?

      • Alex_P says:

        Seriously, you called it. Man, remember when gayness made the music better? (Elton John, Judas Priest) Yeah, that was before I was born.

  20. Nate says:

    I liked the toy spaceship. It’s like something me and my friends did in…. 5th grade.

  21. Dan says:

    that was painful.

  22. BTK666 says:

    See these guys on tour with 30 Seconds To Mars, Mars Is Nearby, We’re Almost At Mars and Mars: Not far now…..

    …. Douche bags.

  23. Andy Synn says:

    This is what happens when you let boybands get a look at kerrang…

  24. Kodiak says:

    It’s too bad they didn’t make it to Mars before releasing this “song”.

  25. Rik Powell says:

    This was so much worse than I could have ever imagined. These guys actually make Attack Attack sound pretty damn good.

  26. Dimebag6sic6 says:

    me sooo confused!

  27. dude says:

    dude my girlfriend and I have the exact opposite taste in music. While I listen to metal (of course) she listens to this bullshit…

  28. Beereded says:

    Here’s somre more more Shitstain bands:
    Asking Alexandria: http://www.myspace.com/askingalexandri
    A Skylit Drive: http://www.myspace.com/askylitdrive
    A City Serene: http://www.myspace.com/acityserene
    Alesana: http://www.myspace.com/alesana, and of course, a band that is someone from Attack Attack’s side project. I cannot even pretend to care who,
    Of Mice And Men: http://www.myspace.com/ofmice
    I cannot even believe I would link to any of these bands. But, if you’re a glutton for punishment, or just morbidly curious, check them out. Now, I have to get in the shower to clean the crabcore off of me.

  29. Beastmaster says:

    OMGWTFBBQ.

  30. Alex_P says:

    So yeah, this may be the second worst shitstain ever.

  31. Die!! Britney, Die!! says:

    Fuck!! Yuck!! Is that a pink dildo he’s using for a microphone??!!

    Somebody correctly asked in the earlier posts: Who DOES actually fund these bands??!!

    They should have named the song “Gay Porn” instead of “Hx Porn” (whatever that means)!! Every member looks like a dildo wielding mama’s boy!!! What a bunch of pussys!!

    Bands like these need to be beaten the fuck up and sent to Prison only to be analy raped without any lube!!!

    Man I am really pissed off….

    Sorry for the rant guys….

  32. Die!! Britney, Die!! says:

    My above comment is awaiting moderation….? why? This is new…

  33. Wanga says:

    They’d be alright if they were good.

  34. anthony says:

    ….

  35. Ziv Frenkel says:

    why is he singing into a dildo?

  36. FatCameron says:

    Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.

    Deep breath.

    Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha,

  37. Lord Shay says:

    this band makes brokencyde look like the next big thing after Maiden….
    douchebags

  38. Mike Riddick says:

    I say props for creativity and a successful blend of styles.

  39. these posts make me feel so much beeter about my own musical misadventures…thanks metalsucks!

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