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Haterade

A SHITSTAIN ON THE ASS OF THE UNIVERSE (PART 13)

 Wednesday, January 13th, 2010 at 1:56pm by

The band is called Next Stop Mars, and the track is entitled “Hx Porn.” That should tip you off right away as to how awful this is going to be.

Still, if you’re morbidly curious:

MS Maniac Name Not Applicable tipped us off to the existence of this band, although he rightfully recognized how awful they are…

-AR

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  • Spanky

    Ew

  • Aaron R A

    This really seems like a parody…. But doesn’t it all?

    • WowWee!

      Its a joke thats goes on way too long. Like that annoying guy trying to be a comedian that just won’t stop trying to be funny and get attention.

      Please Satan, make this shit stop.

      • Facebook User

        dane cook?

  • Heavy Metal

    Whats with the random shirtless part? Who do these guys think they are Manowar?

  • timmah

    THAT WAS SOME CLEAN-ASS SWEEPING!

    At least the intro to the video was long, so the song was shorter than I thought it would be.

    • http://www.gravatar.com/avatar/46e389eb8b79606050d3d447431ff6ac?s=80 Nate

      Lol sarcasm ftw.

  • joshkid

    best line of the song: “I wanna see your panties on the floor”. UBER-LOLZ!!!!!
    Wow I cant believe that theres a band out there thats worse than Attack Attack!…

    • joshkid

      they have a cover of Avril Lavigne’s sk8er boi on their myspace. haha

  • RockOutWithMy…YouKnow

    I remember my grandmother lost her sunglasses like 20 years ago. I think the lead singer found them.

  • orbital

    what in the fuck is this shit

  • Adam

    Wow, they just took the worst parts of every shitty synthpopcrabcore band and found a way to make it shittier. I didn’t know this was possible.

  • Lorenzo

    Anybody else notice that bass player that only appears when they’re wearing white?

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Christopher-Murrie/1391587458 Christopher Murrie

    oh my god. who fucking buys this crap? Who signed this crap? What the fuck is going on? Does anyone actually listen to this shit? WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH THESE PEOPLE???

    • BEHEMOHAWK

      The world may never know

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jason-John-Crispen/100000169530540 Jason John Crispen

    this IS a joke, right?

  • canea

    Uhhh. I kind of liked it. In an I kind of hate it kind of way.

  • metalcupcakes

    i think even fans of attack attack and brokencyde will hate this band. Although I wasn’t expecting the sweeping part.

    • tyler09

      I dont mind Attack Attack!. Brokencyde are so fucking terrible that its funny. But this? Their dads need to tak ethem behind the shed, and do what is necessary. This makes me contemplate suicide

  • http://www.myspace.com/trivium Paolo

    I don’t think I’m Pro-Choice anymore.

    • xxfalc0rexx

      you mean pro-life correct?

      • Facebook User

        phail

  • Ryan

    It’s like they can’t decide whether they want to be metalcore, Eurotrash techno, or a Jonas Brothers cover band.

    They gotta be trippin’.

  • http://www.myspace.com/gragsha Timur

    wow…not very manly is it….

    who likes this and funds this type of music?

    where is the talent?

    when was this considered quality of any kind?

    how will they look back at this when and if they grow up?

    and finally…why?

    I feel sorry…I don’t even kn for whom? .. maybe myself for wasting two minutes…

    T

    p.s. wow…is this only in America or a world wide pandemic?

  • Strapping Young Lad

    Horse the Band, what have you wrought!? Don’t get me wrong, I really like Horse the Band, but more and more bands think it’s now OK to use that style of keyboards. Horse the Band pulls it off… these guys, not so much…

    • Beereded

      Horse The Band AND Arsonists Get All The Girls pull it off IMO.

    • Alex_P

      Lord Gold has legitimate talent. These douchebags just make bad techno, and the shitty four-on-the-floor drumming with simple patterns adds to this.

  • Sambo

    Breathe Carolina is so much worse than this crap!

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/William-Morley/618112437 William Morley

    Fuck the bed, that is the worst band I’ve ever heard, no contest.

    • Sambo

      Listen to Jeffree Star! Then think about it again.

  • Paolo Gregoletto

    Let me amend my comment above. I am no longer Pro-Life.

  • lkgf09

    pink microphone = lulz

    This video somehow managed to be even gayer than I expected.

    • Ziltoid

      Looks more like a dildo, which would explain the lack of heterosexuality in the video.

      • Dwarfskeet

        I was about to leave a comment asking that. Was he singing into a dildo? And the intro was ridiculously long and obnoxious. I think I just cried a little, what is this world coming to?

      • Alex_P

        Seriously, you called it. Man, remember when gayness made the music better? (Elton John, Judas Priest) Yeah, that was before I was born.

  • http://www.gravatar.com/avatar/46e389eb8b79606050d3d447431ff6ac?s=80 Nate

    I liked the toy spaceship. It’s like something me and my friends did in…. 5th grade.

  • http://crescentshield.com Dan

    that was painful.

  • BTK666

    See these guys on tour with 30 Seconds To Mars, Mars Is Nearby, We’re Almost At Mars and Mars: Not far now…..

    …. Douche bags.

  • Andy Synn

    This is what happens when you let boybands get a look at kerrang…

  • http://www.concatenationrecords.com Kodiak

    It’s too bad they didn’t make it to Mars before releasing this “song”.

    • g

      LOL sweet burn dude

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Rik-Powell/286400508 Rik Powell

    This was so much worse than I could have ever imagined. These guys actually make Attack Attack sound pretty damn good.

  • Dimebag6sic6

    me sooo confused!

  • dude

    dude my girlfriend and I have the exact opposite taste in music. While I listen to metal (of course) she listens to this bullshit…

    • Dwarfskeet

      Kill her in her sleep. It’s the only way.

  • Beereded

    Here’s somre more more Shitstain bands:
    Asking Alexandria: http://www.myspace.com/askingalexandri
    A Skylit Drive: http://www.myspace.com/askylitdrive
    A City Serene: http://www.myspace.com/acityserene
    Alesana: http://www.myspace.com/alesana, and of course, a band that is someone from Attack Attack’s side project. I cannot even pretend to care who,
    Of Mice And Men: http://www.myspace.com/ofmice
    I cannot even believe I would link to any of these bands. But, if you’re a glutton for punishment, or just morbidly curious, check them out. Now, I have to get in the shower to clean the crabcore off of me.

  • Beastmaster

    OMGWTFBBQ.

  • Alex_P

    So yeah, this may be the second worst shitstain ever.

  • Die!! Britney, Die!!

    Fuck!! Yuck!! Is that a pink dildo he’s using for a microphone??!!

    Somebody correctly asked in the earlier posts: Who DOES actually fund these bands??!!

    They should have named the song “Gay Porn” instead of “Hx Porn” (whatever that means)!! Every member looks like a dildo wielding mama’s boy!!! What a bunch of pussys!!

    Bands like these need to be beaten the fuck up and sent to Prison only to be analy raped without any lube!!!

    Man I am really pissed off….

    Sorry for the rant guys….

  • Die!! Britney, Die!!

    My above comment is awaiting moderation….? why? This is new…

  • Wanga

    They’d be alright if they were good.

  • anthony

    ….

  • Facebook User

    why is he singing into a dildo?

  • http://www.myspace.com/FatCameron FatCameron

    Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.

    Deep breath.

    Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha,

  • Lord Shay

    this band makes brokencyde look like the next big thing after Maiden….
    douchebags

  • http://www.metalmaniacs.com Mike Riddick

    I say props for creativity and a successful blend of styles.

  • http://www.theoppositionmachine.wordpress.com the opposition machine

    these posts make me feel so much beeter about my own musical misadventures…thanks metalsucks!

  • http://www.theoppositionmachine.wordpress.com the opposition machine

    better….dammit