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Tour de Force

70,000 TONS OF METAL… ON A MOTHAFUCKIN’ BOAT

 Thursday, January 14th, 2010 at 10:40am by

70000 tons of metal

70,000 tons of metal! Imagine. January. Cold, bad fucking weather. But you, your friends and 40 metal bands will go to the Carribean to take over a cruise ship!

70,000 tons of metal! 4 days, 40 bands, 1 cruise ship, only 2,000 tickets! It’s like everyone has a backstage pass. The trip of a lifetime!

Don’t get too excited just yet because this cruise doesn’t leave until January of 2011. But seven out of 40 bands have already been confirmed; Amon Amarth, Sodom, Sonata Arctica, Stratovarius, Trouble, Uli Jon Roth and Witchburner.

70,000 Tons of Metal!

I’ve seen a few of these kinds of cruises happening in Scandinavia over the past few years, but as far as I know this is the first American cruise of its kind (though I’m sure someone will correct me), leaving from Miami, FL heading to Cozumel, Mexico and back.

So, um, if you’ve got no life and wanna spend 4 days on a cruise ship with 2,000 metalheads who have more money than brains and like their vacations pre-packaged, sign up now! On the bright side, you could get to party with Amon Amarth on a muthafuckin’ boat.

-VN

[Thanks: Daisuka K.]

Tags: ,
  • this band sucks

    Im on a Boat, take a good hard look at the muthafuckin’ boat

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/William-Morley/618112437 William Morley

    As awesome as that is, I reckon you could probably go to a shit load of incredible gigs, and take a sweet vacation for a lot less money.

  • Hammer_Smashed_Hurtt (AKA: Dallas Coyle’s Juicy Curl))

    Weak.

  • Dwarfskeet

    Damnit. I was thinking it was a contest… God damnit. I don’t have mucho deniro…

  • Lorenzo

    I don’t trust anything with a website that terribly designed.

  • msv81

    I’m so going.

  • http://hookinmouth.net Hookinmouth.net

    Wow, only 7 of 40 confirmed? Sounds to me like it’s still only a concept in the works.

  • Genial Gentile

    Being trapped on a boat forced to listen to Stratovarius and Sonata Artica sounds more like cruel and unusual punishment than something anyone would pay money for.

    • Ryan Schutte

      HA!

  • Hammer_Smashed_Hurtt (AKA: Dallas Coyle’s Juicy Curl))

    They should get emmure, acacia strain, suicide silence, Limp bizkit, Dave mustaine and Dallas coyle to be there and sink the fucker like the titanic.

    Of course im kidding, just Dallas.

  • chris

    would be cool if they had one remotely decent band playing

  • Geetarz

    This could be awesome. I’m sure it will get pushed back, and the only reason people are able to register is to see if people actually want to do this.

  • Facebook User

    the only question I have is, are there going to be any chicks on this boat? because somehow I imagine 2000 of the nerdiest fat sweaty metalheads that live in their parents basement.

    but goddamn. I’d love to see Amon Amarth on a boat. although I generally associate them with winter weather, not caribbean.

    • Heavy Metal

      I want to be on a boat with Amon Amarth, then we can pretend we are vikings together.

    • kataklysm6

      I’m a chick and I’m booked, Amon Amarth was the deal maker for me although they now have 30/40 bands announced and it is going to be insane! From the looks of the forums there’s actually going to be quite a few other chicks as well.

  • The Lucifer Effect

    Will people be drinking Santana Champ, ‘cos it’s so crisp?

  • Discipleofthewatch

    Woo, let’s go, people! Sounds like fun.

    Snakes on a Plane?

  • Double D

    Damn, how do they know that 40 bands are going to play when they’ve only confirmed 7? Also, talk about a gigantic fucking sausage fest. Have you ever been to a metal show that had hot chicks that didn’t already belong to somebody? Didn’t think so. I had a girlfriend that was fine as fuck and she loved metal, but like I said, she already belonged to me, so nobody was getting any from her at the show. And did you see how much this bullshit costs!?!? I ain’t paying a grand for that shit!

    Also, did you guys notice that the cheapest room set up costs $666?

    • canea

      Amon Amarth on a cruise ship would be awesome! 40 bands seems like they’re dreaming though. You’d probably be stuck with a number far below that and have half the confirmed bands drop out before you could get on board.

      Uli Jon Roth? Check out his website. maybe he’ll bring along his “sky guitar.” That might be worth $666.

    • Charlene

      Because they want to make the announcements suspenseful.

      To be honest, if you heavily visit numerous bands’ websites, some announce themselves in a tiny way before they are announced via the cruise.

    • kataklysm6

      There’s 30 bands announced now and the announcements keep coming (last week there was four) and there will be more girls on this thing than you would think.

  • Deschain

    Not to be that guy or anything, but in 2008 and 2009 spinefarm records sponsered “Spinefeast at Sea” a cruise/metal show. Even though its not the first time a show has been a cruise, it is still all kinds of awesome.

    • thelump

      And the fact that Kalmah is on spinefeast Makes it way better than this

      • Deschain

        true story

  • Kevin

    AMON AMARTH + SODOM + BOAT= BADASS

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Andrew-Sterner/1335958279 Andrew Sterner

    No way that if this is legit I’m going to let it slide. And to whoever said/thought about saying Amon Amarth on a boat is anything less then epic, Viking themed meal+ Boat+ Metal = Win.

  • Facebook User

    Probably not going to happen. Shitty economy + 1 year wait.

  • Rachel

    And to think I may be living in Miami by this time next year. I suppose I will begin saving up…

    • chinnymac

      I live in Miami. Fuck this place. If you want to live in a 3rd world country that speaks primarily Spanish just go to south america.

  • Charlene

    Just got our tickets

    And no, it won’t be a COMPLETE sausage fest. There are some ladies going (self-included), and not for tagalong reasons.

    You can peak at the 70000tons.com/forum for proof of this.

    As for the dude that commented on taking a vacation and then going to a bunch of sweet gigs : When you live in a little hick town in KY like I do, traveling to see just 3 of these bands would well exceed the dough that we hashed out for this trip.

    Hope to see some of you non- naysayers there.

    • Ryan Schutte

      i’ll be there and i’ll be partyin! i live in MT, and have to drive 8 hours to seattle to see anything worth while, plus, it’s cold as hell right now. im looking forward to basking in the sun with a 5th of whiskey.