We’ve all been there. Tensions are high in some packed, sweaty venue, sparked by feverish excitement and the potential for violence. These people paid good money to enjoy some type of cathartic release. The frontman for whatever hard-nu-death-crab-metal-core outfit is brazen and demanding. Can you believe this shit? You PAID to be entertained, and this guy is telling YOU what to do! The speech goes something like this: “I want everybody in this room moving! Front to back, side to side, NO ONE STANDS STILL! When this part kicks in, I want total [Insert destructive word here like "chaos," "mayhem," or "bedlam" if you're witty]. If the person next to you isn’t moving, MAKE THEM MOVE!” Than, if the action is not adequate, this screamer/pep rally organizer calls YOU some variation of “pussy” or “faggot” or really anything to make you feel like a soft, womanly bitch of a man in order to get in that pit and kick another grown man in the face, all in the spirit of making this band look like they are awesome. But then something happens, as if the air is sucked out of the room at the moment of impact – when those glorious staccato chugs kick in, the crowd is almost always powerless to its charms regardless of the obvious lack of substance. Like junk food and reality TV, we have a love affair with breakdowns.

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Taking all this list-making business to new levels of silliness is The Gauntlet, who have posted a list of… the Top Ten Rivalries Involving Dave Mustaine.

That’s so ridiculous I can’t believe we didn’t think of it first.

Unfortunately, MetalSucks did not make the list (although there is a general heading that did make the list that I guess we’d fall under). But that’s okay, since it’s come to my attention that while a lot of cool musicians do read our site, Dave Mustaine is not one of them. Seriously. He has no fucking idea who we are. I can say anything I want with no consequence. Hi, Dave. You’re very popular and we all love you very much. So take a Xanax and calm down already, m’kay?

Read the entire list here.

-AR

Hypocrisy were s’posed to follow-up the November release of their excellent new album, A Taste of Extreme Divinity, with a North American tour – with Children of Bodom’s Alexi Laiho playin’ the gee-tar, no less. We were super stoked for that tour, but unfortunately, the swine in U.S. immigration wouldn’t let Peter Tagtgren and company into the country, presumably because The Man wants us all to keep fighting each other so we don’t notice that He’s screwing us, and He knew that a North American Hypocrisy tour could maybe, just maybe, bring peace and love to the huddled masses. Either that, or the band’s paperwork wasn’t quite in order. But either way, it blew goats.

Luckily, it seems that Hypocrisy’s problems are now behind them, and they’ve announced another North American tour. And while, unfortunately, it seems like Laiho won’t be in tow this time out, they will have Hate, Blackguard and Swashbuckle with them. So that’s not bad.

Get dates after the jump.

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By now, everyone knows how I feel about Oceano. Many of you read – and weighed in on – my five star/horn review of their debut Depths, stayed abreast of the controversy that ensued, and joyously celebrated my subsequent return (with interview in tow) to the MetalSucks fold. It should have come as no surprise that Depths claimed the #2 spot in my own Best of 2009 list. So you can imagine how I reacted when I learned, via Oceano’s MySpace blog, that they’re going back into the studio this year to record the follow-up to that record.

A year after completing the recording of their hugely successful 2009 debut, Depths, Chicago’s deathcore heavyweights, OCEANO are heading back into the studio to record their follow-up. Set for release later this year, the new album will tell a story that promises to open eyes and deliver a more mature experience than many might normally expect. “Expect us to go deeper than Depths this time around, and not just meaning heavier;” says vocalist, Adam Warren. “This is more than just our sophomore album. It is a great vision to be accomplished when all of the pieces we’ve worked so hard to create – art, music, lyrics and overall atmosphere – come together.”

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Sumeriancore princes After the Burial [which begs the question... who are the kings of Sumeriancore? I seek our readers' input] are working on a new album, the title and release date of which have yet to be announced. But they’ve just posted a video of the pre-production sessions on their MySpace page, and we’ve re-posted it for you below.

Sounds like the follow-up to 2008′s Rareform [a re-vocaled / re-mixed / better-sounding version of which was re-released in 2009] will be just as shreddy, groovy and technical as its predecessor. Rareform was an underrated gem of 2008, a promising label debut from a band on the rise in a scene on the rise. Here’s to hoping they can avoid the sophomore jinx (2006′s independently-released Forging a Future Self not withstanding) by one-upping Rareform and distinguishing themselves from the growing Sumeriancore pack.

-VN

[Thanks: jtquake]

Because Vince is in LA and I had a familial obligation, we totally missed the NY stop of this killer tour… But the now Abigail Williams-free, and the rest of the lineup is killer – Nile, Immolation, Krisiun and Dreaming Dead? That sounds like an awesome night of death metal to me.

Here’s some fan-filmed footage from the aforementioned NYC date, which I spotted on Blabbermouth. Get a complete list of remaining tour dates after the jump!

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Landmine Marathon’s last album, 2008′s Rusted Eyes Awake, was the tits. It’s not like it was groundbreaking or anything – it’s just good, solid metal, y’know?

Now the band is signed to Prosthetic and vocalist Grace Perry has started to garner some attention, even appearing on the cover of Revolver’s latest “Hottest Chicks in Metal” issue.

So hopefully I’m not the only one excited to hear that the band has announced a March 16 release date for their new album, Sovereign Descent. I really have no idea what it’s gonna sound like, but I’m assuming it will feature more quality deathrash from this no-bullshit outfit.

Here’s “Skin from Skull” from Rusted Eyes Awake.

-AR

Charred Walls of the Damned are barely even in their new video, for the song “Ghost Town,” and when they do show up, it’s in a manner that I find kinda cheesy. Still, I really dig this video overall, and I kinda wonder why more metal bands don’t remain absent from their own videos. That way they don’t have to stand there doing take after take of the same song, and they can just hire a director with some vision to go off and make something cool for them. I mean, it worked for Tool, right?

“Ghost Town” comes off of Charred Walls of the Damned’s self-titled debut, which Metal Blade will release on February 2. If you haven’t done so already, check our interview with CWOTD drummer/founder/main man Richard Christy… yes, that Richard Christy.

-AR

I didn’t buy Guitar Hero: Van Halen because it was a continuation of VH’s ongoing efforts to try and make people forget that Michael Anthony was ever in the band – never mind that Fatty Ding Dongs Van Halen wasn’t even born yet when the band’s best albums were made. That being said, I think modern Metallica is pretty lame, too, and I enjoyed their edition of GH. And I’d be totally down for a Megadeth version of the game, even if, once again, there would be some question of which ‘Deth line-up was portrayed (I assume it would be the current one… is Mustaine cool enough to let Marty Friedman, Dave Ellefson, Nick Menza, et. al. be unlockables?).

And I may get my wish! Metal Insider reports that Mustaine is now gloating about taking meetings with the makers of GH for a Megadeth-themed version of the game… or possibly something more. Via Megadeth.com:

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Deep into a storied career that took him from Cannibal Corpse to Six Feet Under to Torture Killer and back again, everybody knows what to expect out of a new effort from the perpetually blazed Chris Barnes and Six Feet Under. If you don’t know what’s in store from this band after fifteen years, then you should probably turn in your metalhead degree to Vince and Axl. The dudes’ third edition of the Graveyard Classics collection is one of those strange things that’s both familiar, awesome, and kind of ridiculous. Pure curiousity pointed this writer to a copy of the record, and it’s oddly intriguing – the kind of intriguing that’s caused by getting blasted and hearing a sweet (but in reality, not really that rad) cover band rip their version of a Deep Purple song at the bar down the street.

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I have absolutely no idea how to describe Orphaned Land’s new album, The Never Ending Way Of ORwarriOR. I almost wanna call it Middle Eastern-flavored power metal, but I don’t want visions of Axxis floating in anyone’s head. The album is considerably more distinctive than that; it really is a unique listening experience. And I’m not sure that calling it “prog” really works, either, although the band wouldn’t feel out of place on a Dream Theater tour. So let’s just call it “good” and leave it at that.

The album comes out February 9 on Century (at least on these shores – Europe gets it next week!), and now the band has announced a too-brief North American tour – only four dates! – where they’ll be acting as direct support for Suidakra. Suidakra put on a really, really fun show… combine that with this rare chance to see Orphaned Land play my hometown and, well, I’m already there.

Get dates after the jump. And above, check out part one of Orphaned Land’s electronic press kit for The Never Ending Way Of ORwarriOR.

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Speaking of Exodus: Metal Underground reports that the band’s heavily anticipated follow-up to 2007′s The Atrocity Exhibition – Exhibit A will be released on April 23 on Nuclear Blast. The album is entitled Exhibit B: The Human Condition. Lookit Exodus, gettin’ all philosophical on our asses.

In all seriousness: Exodus, like their peers in Slayer, Megadeth, Testament, and, depending on who you ask, possibly Metallica, have been experiencing a renaissance with their last few albums, and I have no reason to believe that this record won’t be the rock. These guys have just been on top of their game lately. I’m really stoked to hear this one.

Here’s a not-great but not-awful quality rip of a new song, “Good Riddance,” which I’m assuming will appear on the new offering.

And as if I needed to remind you (for the second time today), Exodus are currently on the MetalSucks-sponsored Tyrants of Evil North American Tour 2010 with Arch Enemy, Arsis, and Mutiny Within. Get dates here.

-AR

Sigh’s Scenes from Hell, which was released Tuesday on The End Records, is the first great album of 2010. This is in an indisputable fact. Anyone who tries to dispute it should be banished to the album’s cover art. Don’t even step, sucka.

Now the band has released a video for the song “Prelude to the Oracle.” I have almost no idea what’s going on in this video, but any clip that has a blood-soaked Dr. Mikannibal dressed as a midriff-bearing angel is okay in my book!

Buy this album. Seriously. Do it.

-AR

Our inboxes have been flooded since it was announced yesterday vocalist Eric Kalsbeek has quit Dutch prog-metal masters Textures. Clearly, this band has a small but ferocious fanbase.

Here’s a statement from Kalsbeek:

“Dear fans & friends,

I decided to quit Textures. My life changed, priorities shifted. I can’t cope with the heavy touring and the time investment anymore. I need to focus on my job and family. I need to take a few steps back. I’ve had six beautiful years with the band, did loads of amazing shows, made tons of new friends and created some mind-blowing music. I’m going to miss the guys, and of course you, the fans. I know Textures will continue to conquer the world and give you all great, heavy and awesome music. I wish my successor all the best. I will keep on making music, but something totally different, much more low-profile. Maybe we will meet again. Eric out”

The band is searching for a new singer now. Here’s hoping they find someone as awesome as Kalsbeek!

While you mourn, check out the band’s 2008 video for “Awake”:

-AR

The MetalSucks-sponsored Tyrants of Evil North American Tour 2010 featuring Arch Enemy, Exodus, Arsis and Mutiny Within kicked off last night in Maryland! And just in time for the tour launch, Arsis have released their new video, “Forced to Rock.” Maybe I’m reading into this too much, but it seems to me that the David Brodsky directed clip was at least partially inspired by Van Halen’s “Hot for Teacher” video – I mean, I know there’s no direct corollary between the two beyond a classroom setting, but I know for a fact that Arsis’ James Malone is a Van Halen fan. Plus, I’m still convinced that there’s a bigger hair metal influence on Malone than some death metal fans would like to admit.

But who knows? Maybe Malone just really, really likes My First Sex Teacher.

By the way, the role of “Miss Rock” is played by Kym Dylla, vocalist for Virginia’s Thismeansyou. I’m not familiar with that band, but if they’ve got Arsis’ seal of approval…

If anyone was at last night’s Tyrants of Evil show in Maryland, drop me line and let me know how it was. For everyone else: get tour dates here. It’s gonna be such a killer show.

-AR

I wanted to jot down a few quick thoughts based on the responses that people took the time to post on the last piece that I wrote.

Responses: I tallied up people’s responses and have charted them out below. While no one’s expecting something statistically robust (and this is [i]not[/i] statistically robust), I should note that this tally is what I could gather from what people who decided to respond said that they did (and that the responses are current as of Wednesday at about 5:30 my time). You will see that the percentages add up to more than 100% – this is because a bunch of folks reported that they get their music in more than one way. The “Purchase Other” category includes folks who said they purchase a digital download and at least one person said they buy cassettes.

Given all these technical caveats, I wouldn’t recommend any record executives base their next release schedule on this – a bunch of people didn’t respond and their behavior may be very different from those that did. And if someone reported that they Soulseek a hundred records, buy ten CDs and buy 1 vinyl record, they’re counted equally for each category. Still, I’m surprised to see that as many of those who did respond still say they value getting a CD; I assumed that it was dying a lot quicker than this suggests.

Anyway, big thanks to folks for sharing their perspectives on this.

Click to read more…

Well, not really. But I certainly do have a “Skull Full of Bong Hits.”

Smoke ‘em if you got ‘em…

“Skull Full of Bong Hits” comes off of Cannabis Corpse’s The Weeding EP, which is out now on Tankcrime Records.

-AR

MetalSucks will be involved in this very cool contest for unsigned bands, brought to you by Scion. We hope you like what we have in store… it’s going to be really cool and we’re quite excited. And now the details from Mr. Dan Rodriguez at Metal Insider:

The No Label Needed Contest & Series presented by Scion is now open for submissions! You can sign up your unsigned band now at metalinsider.net/nolabelneeded (terms and conditions apply).

The contest and series is an unprecedented experiment in helping one lucky unsigned band circumvent the dated label system and learn the industry ropes on their own. It’s a DIY crash course in the metal biz, and the winner will get all the tools they need to produce, release and market music on their own terms.

By everything, we mean everything: the winner will travel to Massachusetts to meet with their new mentors, Shadows Fall. The Grammy-nominated artist will be there to offer advice and work on the winner’s songs. Then they’ll go to the Machine Shop to record a 5-song EP with legendary producer Machine (Lamb of God, Every Time I Die). The winner will get a shopping spree with Maria Brink from In This Moment and Blasko from Ozzy’s band to pick out new wardrobe – for a photo shoot. After all, they’ll need new press photos for a press campaign from Big Machine Media. We’re also going to bring in partners for radio promotion campaigns, new merchandise, website re-designs and a ton more.

This band will be completely set up with nearly everything they’d be asking a label to do for them, and they’ll learn all about it themselves, hands-on.

The best part? Metal Insider will be reporting back on progress along the way, so readers like you can learn every bit as much about the industry as our winner. You’ll see a ton of videos, how-to blogs, live chats and other educational pieces from our experts.

Hit the jump for the full press release and tell everyone you know to sign up at metalinsider.net/nolabelneeded!

Click to read more…

Besides Juggs, Decibel is easily the magazine we’re most excited to receive at the Mansion every month. Now the magazine is looking for a new marketing manager. Check it out:

Decibel (decibelmagazine.com), a monthly heavy metal magazine published by the Philadelphia-based Red Flag Media, seeks a full-time marketing manager to propel our already successful national publication into a new realm. The ideal candidate will be music-industry savvy, and enjoy (or at least appreciate) extreme music. He or she will have a strong grasp of internet/email marketing strategies, and a familiarity with a variety of digital platforms. We’re looking for someone to strengthen the Decibel brand with existing partners as well and make new connections that will enable our continued growth. Our marketing manager will determine key audience demographics and develop new ways to target them, expanding our market in the U.S. and overseas. Interested candidates should send resume, cover letter and references.

Location: Center City
Compensation: $27,000 plus benefits

Send resume and cover letter to: claire@redflagmedia.com.

If I knew anything about marketing and didn’t already have a perfectly good job, I’d totally apply for this. If you’re qualified, why not go work for the best metal rag out there?

-AR

No, I don’t know why I decided to make a reference to that stupid cat in the headline, either. Sometimes, I just make myself giggle, and fuck the readers.

ANYWAY, Van Halen’s Michael Anthony (and he is “Van Halen’s Michael Anthony,” not fucking “Chickenfoot’s Michael Anthony”) jumped at a recent Ratt gig, which means that a) a founding member of Van Halen is friends with some of the founding members of Ratt, b) Michael Anthony went to a Ratt show and has probably been to other Ratt shows, and c) a founding member of Van Halen is friends with some of the founding members of Ratt. My adolescent self is so fucking happy right now.

Anyways, they covered Hendrix’s “Fire,” and, honestly, they didn’t do that great a job. But come ON. IT’S MICHAEL ANTHONY AND RATT.

-AR

[via Blabbermouth]