I’ve always found metal logos to be fascinating. Shit, we even have a weekly contest based on ‘em. I once penned a blog post for another website proclaiming death metal the best of all metal sub-genres because it had the coolest logos; maybe that piece will see the light of day some time soon. But there’s just something so great about metal logos… you [can often] know loosely what a band will sound like just from the particular style of their logo. I don’t think this is true for other genres of music, but maybe one of our readers with a deeper knowledge of, say, indie rock can tell me why I’m wrong.

The German design book publisher Gestalten is publishing a book on this very topic — specifically black metal logos — by Chrisophe “Lord of the Logos” Szpajdel. A press release tells us that the “book is a collection of hundreds of Szpajdel’s powerful hand-drawn nature-inspired logos that combine letters with visual elements from art movements such as art deco and art nouveau.” The publisher has graciously made available several preview pages from the book, and what’s cool about this book is that it isn’tjust a collection of logos; the logos are juxtaposed with the artistic photographs of nature that directly inspired them, like the preview above. I totally see the resemblance, and it’s neat to see that these logos aren’t “just” random scratchy lines.

Check out a very high-quality version of the above image as well as one more that’s equally as cool. The book is 272 pages of full color print and comes out this month for € 35,00 / $ 55,00 / £ 32,50; order it here (when it becomes available).

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Images used with permission By Christophe Szpajdel from Lord of the Logos, Copyright Gestalten 2010

Here’s a terrible joke I heard last night:

What’s the name of the woods where you go to cheat on your wife? Tiger Woods!

RIMSHOT!

But I’m already off-topic.

Everyone loves to bitch and moan about metal videos that were shot in a warehouse (or something that looks like it might be a warehouse – it seems to be that “warehouse” has basically come to mean “any location with plain walls”), but no one ever seems to complain about how many videos seem to be shot in the woods. I mean, I get it; there are only so many locations that “look metal” and are affordable on the kinds of budgets usually allocated to cinemetal. But I’m just saying, if you’re gonna belly ache, try to be an equal opportunity belly acher, m’kay?

So. Finntroll’s new video for “Solsagan.” It features the same “freaky shit happenin’ in the woods” motif that we’ve seen a million times before. Still, I kinda like the way it was shot, and except for the keyboards, which sound tinny to these old ears, I think it’s a pretty good song. It’ll appear on the band’s new album, Nifelvind, which comes out March 9 on Century. Give the clip a look-see…

-AR

True story: a prominent figure in the metal industry told me last month that he’s now managing The Ultimate Warrior and I just about flipped my shit. And when I told Axl the news he flipped his shit like an omelet on a fucking saucepan at one of those omelet bars in swanky hotels where the guy makes the omelet on demand for you (I LOVE omelet bars!). We were giant, giant WWF fans back in the late ’80s / early ’90s, during Ultimate Warrior’s prime… we used to have Wrestle Mania and Summer Slam slumber parties at which we got high on soda and potato chips and stayed up until the wee hour of 11pm watching the Warrior in all his glory. Creating this blog has given me several “Slap me. Is this really happening?” moments like the time we interviewed Troy Sanders, the time I somehow bumbled through a philosophy session with Peter Dolving despite being stoned out of my gourd (thanks for that cookie, Van Arseface) and the time we were privy to an intimate, private, live performance of Living Colour’s new album. But all would pale in comparison to the opportunity to meet the Warrior. Well, maybe not… but it’d still be really fucking rad.

All this is just a long-winded way of saying that when Suckalo Andrew Bejarano emailed us with look-a-like pictures of Lamb of God’s Willie Adler and ECW / WWF WWE pro wrestler Al Snow, I had to consult the Webernets to find out who the fuck Al Snow is because my pro wrestling knowledge begins and ends with the era of Hacksaw Jim Duggan and CoCo Beware.* But Andrew is right… they do look eerily alike. It’s all in the white trash ‘stache. You be the judge.

-VN

* Say… did I see somewhere very recently that Bret “Hitman” Hart is making a comeback? That guy’s gotta be pushing 50 by now!

… and the lineup is that much stronger for it, if you ask us, because they were kind of the odd band out on this tour anyway. Seems that drummer Ken Meyers has been injured, but no other details have been released.

The MetalSucks-sponsored U.S. trek also features Krisiun and Dreaming Dead, the latter of whom Axl recently realized are the cats pajamas and then some. The tour kicks off TODAY in Baltimore, so make sure you check the list of dates after the jump to see when it rolls through your town.

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Kingdom of Sorrow, the sludgecore supergrouping of Hatebreed’s Jamey Jasta with Crowbar’s Kirk Windstein, has just announced via press release that they have re-upped with Relapse Records, with a new album to be released some time this Spring. And while admittedly I’m having a little bit of harmless fun with the band’s unintended double entrendre (referenced above), in actuality I’m seriously fucking excited about this. We don’t have a name for the record yet, or any other details, but I loved their debut enough to call it my favorite album of 2008. One thing’s for sure: the guys have some nice things to say about Relapse!

Windstein commented on the resigning and new album; “Jamey and I are really excited to be working with Relapse on another Kingdom Of Sorrow album. They were a big part of the success of our first album and have been a great company to work with. Our new material kicks ass, we can’t wait to unleash it! It’s a real beast!”

Jasta continues; “It was a no brainer to re-sign with Relapse for another Kingdom Of Sorrow album. They are a great company who really gets it and we’re extremely excited to have them 110% behind us.”

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Like everybody, I have metalphobes in my family and the workplace, but still among those unfortunate dolts are some otherwise trustworthy fans of strong, melody-based non-metal. So there’s a persistent temptation to debase myself and metal by pressing on them with samples of pop-ish metal like Testament’s The Ritual and Bruce Dickinson’s fabulous Skunkworks. I mean, is heaviness an automatic deal-breaker for these dunces? Let’s say there be a perfectly crafted/really heavy song with all the touchstones of major pop satisfaction (and lyrical themes containing no allusions to face-raping a corpse), would it still resemble psychotic noise to lamewads? Or do good hooks transcend genre and pussyness? Are “Enter Sandman” and “Cum On Feel The Noize” both examples of flawless hit-making or of novelty successes like the “Where’s The Beef?” lady and ”The Bartman?”

As usual, it eventually occurred to me that the answer to all things is Devin Townsend.

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Hard to believe it’s been almost a year since Dallas Coyle and God Forbid parted ways, but there ya have it. And a lot of God Forbid fans – including this one – were wondering who was gonna take Dallas’ spot in the band. Former Himsa guitarist Matt Wicklund has been doing live shows with the group since last summer’s Mayhem Fest, and the rumors have been swirling that he was taking the job pretty much ever since -  a couple of readers e-mailed us to say that Wicklund was introduced as “our new guitar player” on-stage, and earlier this month he tweeted that he was “Getting ready to go to rehearsal!”, although rehearsal for what was left kinda-sorta vague.

Well, the rumors are no longer rumors: Wicklund is, in fact, the new full-time guitarist for God Forbid. A statement from Doc Coyle reads as follows:

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Boy oh boy have we got something good for you today.

Before the curtain fell on 2009 a curious video surfaced on the website RockFeedback.com (possibly filmed a year ago? I’m not sure), in which Andrew W.K. flat out admitted that “Andrew W.K.” was essentially a character played by different people, of which he (the one doing the lecture in the video) was the second. Andrew W.K. conspiracy theories have been running amok on the Internet for years, but it’s a rabbit hole we’re all too willing to go down given how interesting the whole thing is.

Then, in the early days of 2010, the MetalSucks Mansion telegraph wire blew up with an offer we couldn’t refuse — Donald Tardy, drummer of death metal legends Obituary and on Andrew W.K.’s breakthrough album I Get Wet (and subsequent 2+ year touring cycle) wanted to go on record with us about Andrew.

Intrigued, we set up a phone interview with Donald, and this past Tuesday at 4pm Vince got on the horn to attempt to settle this debate once and for all. Is Andrew W.K. one person? Has he been played by multiple actors? Who is Steev Mike? Surely a man that had worked so close with Andrew would know the answers… or perhaps not. Our full chat, after the jump, and as a bonus, some photographs of the I Get Wet recording sessions from Tardy’s personal collection.

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Last week we offered up three copies of Revolver’s shiny new Pantera issue for our funny photo caption contest. Without further ado, the winners are:

• Schenkeltown: “For just $50, Lars Ulrich and Dani Filth will stand on your wedding cake too!”
• Sacajawea: “Not realizing that this was actually the cake from his bachelor party, they accidentally killed the midget stripper hiding inside.”
• akeldama: “We’re level 70 White Trash.”

This week we’re offering up two CD copies of Buzzov*en‘s Violence From the Vault, a collection of 5 previously unreleased tracks recorded by the Sore lineup in 1995. Just come up with a funny caption to the below photo (sent in by Eric C.) and remember to use a real email address to comment (not Facebook connect) so we can contact the winners.

Suckalo Cody Barrick sent us a link to a massive repository of metal album covers (and a few others) in full MS Paint glory, a concept we explored a few months back with our Austrian Death Machine MS Paint contest (you should check out the results in the comments section… some of them are seriously awesome! Our readers are weirdly talented / have a lot of free time.). Not that using MS Paint to re-create simple versions of artwork is a new idea, but it’s a fun one that never seems to wear out. That program is what, 20 some odd years old? But it’s still around for a reason; something about its simplicity gives it mass appeal and keeps it useful in spite of today’s hi-tech graphics solutions.

Take a look at the collection of MS Paint album covers, and if you’ve got some extra time on your hands don’t be shy… post your own renditions in the comments section below!

-VN

My lifestyle is such that I have ample opportunity to stare blankly into space and fantasize. And in those fantasies, I resemble the evil Vincent Ludwig in The Naked Gun and am similarly devious. Like, when I want my goons to depart a discreet conversation/bribe attempt, I’ll signal them by adjusting my cufflinks, that kind of thing. And all mega-powerful businessmen with awesome hair are driven by passion, so my (imaginary) days would be devoted to metal and the execution of my plan to manipulate city hall in order to convert the Sunset Strip into a historically accurate recreation of the ’80s hair rock scene, complete with Graceland-style museum pieces and human props a la Disneyland.

Back in reality, the Sunset Strip Metal Preserve and Theme Park project has been stuck in the research phase for a while, but at least that inertia allows for serendipitous nights like Sunday at The Whisky. It was then and there that Warbringer, along with four hours of local bands, unknowingly designed a working exhibit on the SSMP+TP experience: A neighborhood thrash metal show.

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It’s basically impossible for me to take “Babylon’s Burning,” the new video from W.A.S.P., at all seriously. Maybe inter-cutting footage of Nazis with the number “666″ as Blackie Lawless sings the number “666″ should strike me as being metal as fuck, but, mostly, it strikes me as an old-man who used to make headlines by being shocking trying desperately, and failing miserably, to be shocking again. Also, the song sucks.

Marilyn Manson, watch this video closely: this is your future.

-AR

Tiger Flowers are one of those bands that actually do defy categorization in the face of hundreds of <insert metal micro-genre here>-copycats who claim they do. They have elements of doom, hardcore, metal, post-punk and Dillinger-style atonal freakouts, a hodge-podge of punk and metal that inexplicably works really fucking well when all thrown together. The band brought their furious live thunder to Brooklyn’s Knitting Factory when they opened the kick-off date of the Metal As Art tour last week, matching the absurdity of their recorded works pound for pound with their frenetic live attack.

Our Bro-stadons over at Brooklyn Vegan are offering up an exclusive download of the brand new Tiger Flowers track “The Weight,” a song that displays all the best of what the band has to offer. New Yorkers can catch the band for free at The Studio at Webster Hall this coming Monday, January 18th, while other East Coasters can catch them on tour in February (dates also at Brooklyn Vegan — scroll down).

-VN

Self-proclaimed “Long time Suckalo, first time e-mailer” LordBling attended the Super Orgasm Tour in Dallas on Tuesday, and managed to capture what is actually some pretty decent quality footage of Cynic and The Devin Townsend Project in action. In the unlikely event that you still need to be sold on the majesty of this tour, we thought we’d share the clips with you all.

Cynic, “Integral Birth”

More after the jump!

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Well now that we’re all clear that you all have opinions on abortion, it’s time for you to weigh in on another serious topic of great importance: strippers.

Reigning champions of thugcore Skarhead just debuted their new video for “P.S.P.”- shorthand for “pole swinging pigs” – and it paints ladies who disrobe for dollars in a rather unfavorable light. Though part of the clip was apparently filmed at Queens, NY’s Club Perfection, the explicit lyrics of Lord Ezec and Ceekay Jones don’t exactly endorse the establishment or the profession. Spat with vitriol over a slamming hardcore mix, their disdainful words bubble over like hot bile, lambasting strippers for their scheming ways, filthy habits, and general loathsomeness.

Check out the clip above and offer your feedback in the comments. Are Skarhead too hard on strippers or not hard enough?

-GS

[Gary Suarez helps manage the No Yoko No blog. Say, why don't you follow him on Twitter?]

OK so like mash-ups are SO totally 2008 (or even 2007 or 2006) but sometimes one comes along that we just can’t resist sharing.

Like this mash-up of Meshuggah’s “Bleed” and Lady GaGa’s “Paparazzi,” which Pallomember, the YouTube user who created it, boasts has “0% pitch shift, 0% time conversion.” The mash-up gets off to a ho-hum start with a sync that basically just sounds like random vocals thrown on top of a random riff that happens to be in the same time signature, but once “Bleed” starts to change the vocals start to match up rather nicely.

I’m still reeling for the William Murderface / Lady GaGa comparison, but this is pretty cool too.

-VN

Thanks to Suckalo Alex Davis for sending this in.

So apparently Rob Zombie’s next directing gig isn’t going to be the long-gestating Tyrannosaurus Rex or previously-announced remake of The Blob, but rather… an episode of CSI: Miami. For those of who aren’t familiar with the program, it’s basically a forensic science-centric police procedural. It is also one of many shows on CBS that I do not understand why people watch.

I’d love to make fun of Zombie and say that this must mean he can’t get a feature off the ground… but there’s no evidence that this is the case. Quentin Tarantino directed an episode of the original CSI back in 2005, and whatever you wanna say about QT, you can’t say his career is hurting. And, if we’re being honest, I’d rather see Zombie do this than fuck-up The Blob.

Meanwhile, I hear that his animated film, The Haunted World of El Superbeasto, is actually good. It went straight to DVD last year… anybody catch it?

-AR

70,000 tons of metal! Imagine. January. Cold, bad fucking weather. But you, your friends and 40 metal bands will go to the Carribean to take over a cruise ship!

70,000 tons of metal! 4 days, 40 bands, 1 cruise ship, only 2,000 tickets! It’s like everyone has a backstage pass. The trip of a lifetime!

Don’t get too excited just yet because this cruise doesn’t leave until January of 2011. But seven out of 40 bands have already been confirmed; Amon Amarth, Sodom, Sonata Arctica, Stratovarius, Trouble, Uli Jon Roth and Witchburner.

70,000 Tons of Metal!

I’ve seen a few of these kinds of cruises happening in Scandinavia over the past few years, but as far as I know this is the first American cruise of its kind (though I’m sure someone will correct me), leaving from Miami, FL heading to Cozumel, Mexico and back.

So, um, if you’ve got no life and wanna spend 4 days on a cruise ship with 2,000 metalheads who have more money than brains and like their vacations pre-packaged, sign up now! On the bright side, you could get to party with Amon Amarth on a muthafuckin’ boat.

-VN

[Thanks: Daisuka K.]

In the “bands that obviously look up to Tool but don’t sound exactly like Tool” department, Australian quintet Karnivool are clear winners. Their sound is big, dense, layered and just as intricate as the music of the aforementioned heavy prog rock masters… but unlike so many bands, Karnivool aren’t content to simply rape and pillage the tones of their heroes. Karnivool’s sound is a whole lot more atmospheric, lighter (in terms of mood) and a touch more melodic — and shit, maybe even a little more varied.

Karnivool’s album Sound Awake is old news to those in the band’s native Australia but the album isn’t officially getting released stateside until February 16th. Unsurprising then that they’re a pretty big deal at home but are only starting to get a foot-hold here; when they played Don Hill’s in NYC (a shithole in the truest sense of the word) last month, eyewitness reports came flooding in that the band absolutely blew the roof off the place, even without the aid of the phenomenal light show they usually bring in tow.

I’ve got my hands on a copy of Sound Awake and it’s a doozy indeed, but more than anything I’m anxious to see Karnivool live when they hit the states in March and April (dates on their MySpace page) starting with an appearance at SXSW. Stream the new track “Goliath” in its entirety below.

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Goliath by Karnivool

I know I shouldn’t be laughing at this, but I can’t help it.

Weedeater vocalist/bassist “Dixie” Dave Collins accidentally shot off his big toe this past weekend. That would be kinda funny in and of itself, but the real punchline comes when you find out that Collins wasn’t hunting or whatever when the incident took place – he was cleaning his favorite shotgun.

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