When a headline about The Metalympics on SMNnews.com flashed across my RSS reader I got very excited. Dino Cazares takes on Kirk Windstein in a hot-dog eating competition. Devin Townsend squares off against Frank Mullen in a battle to determine once and for all who talks the best between-song smack. Phil Lewis vs. Tracii Guns in a steel cage match to settle L.A. Guns naming rights. Emmure vs. The Acacia Strain in a tag-team affair to squash their hardcore beef. Oh, the possibilities!!!

But, no. Instead it’s just a fancy name for a regular old Battle of the Bands in Massachusetts. Oh well. I guess if you’re reading this, you live in Massachusetts and are in a metal band trying to make it you should enter. The rest of us will hold out hope for an eventual Metalympics that lives up to its name.

-VN