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Reviews

ARMOUR BRINGS THE RIFFS, THE RAFFS, THE EVERYTHING

Monday, February 8th, 2010 at 2:30pm by

Armour is 80s metal, man. Get used to it right now, before you check them out. But FUCK if it isn’t AWESOME at the same time. The song titles, the solos, the cover art – EVERYTHING is there on the Finns’ self-titled album, and it’s all really, really AWESOME. Well… the lyrics are kind of stupid, but who needs lyrics when you’ve got riffs and fist-pumping anthems, anyway?

First things first: Font man Vince Venom sounds a lot like Cam Pipes of 3 Inches Of Blood – who may have beat them to the punch by a couple of years – but Amour’s more than paid their dues. With a brash band of burly dudes who have already traded their wares in black metal bands (Satanic Warmaster, Horna, Blasphemous Evil, about twelve others), Armour might be a means of more stripped down, back-to-the-basics metal, but goddamn if they couldn’t fit right next to Tank, Accept, or W.A.S.P. But it doesn’t feel like a throwback – it sounds earnest, and the songs are, ultimately, AWESOME. Have I used “awesome” yet?

At the end of the day, Armour seems more sincere than a plethora of throwback bands playing metal the way metal was played in its heyday, and that’s the reassuring and redeeming thing about this band. It’s not simply solos and imagery with Armour… they’ve got the songs, and songs are the final indicator of a quality band, right? When the band is singing on ”Satan’s Knights” or “The Time Is Right,” it’s more of a well-constructed musical moment, rife with solos, riffs, and singing, than the retreading of the past that so many bands littering the metal landscape nowadays are doing. And if these cats aren’t behind it 100%, then call me clueless, because at the end of the day, it seems like they care about construction, performance, and the almighty riff.

Ultimately, Armour should remind people why they like metal in the first place. While nobody’s going to win a spot as a Nobel Laureate with songs like “Sex Demon,” “Rock’n’Roll Tonite,” or “Heavy Metal Drinkers,” thank God, Satan, Buddha, Jesus, or whomever: metal’s meaning is in the music, not tongue-in-cheekery, and damned if we don’t like it that way. Listeners beware: whiplash may ensue, but it’s all in the name of metal with Armour.

(four and a half out of five horns)

-BC

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  • bucketochicken

    Armour? They’re just a bunch of hot dogs.

    • William Grimmkvlt

      What kind of man wears Armour hot dogs?

  • evilfatguy

    They are terrible. At least most shitty hair metallers from the 80′s could sing a few notes in key.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Devon-Czekaj/550092101 Devon Czekaj

    Reminds me of King Diamond. I’m not complaining.

  • But FUCK

    But FUCK But FUCK But FUCK But FUCK But FUCK But FUCK But FUCK But FUCK But FUCK But FUCK But FUCK But FUCK But FUCK But FUCK But FUCK But FUCK But FUCK But FUCK But FUCK But FUCK

  • Pedro

    I think this band suck, but this is just my opinion. But giving four and a half horns for this album is just nonsense.

  • Facebook User

    If this were 1985 again, I would have totally made my mom buy me that album based on the cover alone.

    • The Dude

      It’s 2010 and I want to buy that album based on the cover alone.

  • TheKingBoar

    Is it really that hard to put a link to the bands myspace in these reviews so we can check it out? I mean, its really not that hard to google it, but it wouldn’t kill you to put a link in reviews either.

    • builtforsin

      +1

      They would do it, but then it would make it a _complete_ blog post. Lets not get ambitious here.

    • evilfatguy

      That, and you’d also be obligated to listen to it, which would be an unfortunate side effect.

  • CaptDin

    It does remind me a lot of Accept or WASP, or early Motley Crue. Me gusta.

  • Biff Tannen

    Wow, Im very suprised to see that you guys are promoting a band who’s members are prominant in the Finnish NS scene ! Oh, wait. This is metalsucks, where the ‘reviewers’ don’t have any background knowledge of the music they cover (unless the members have beards,glasses and sleeve tattoos). The singer is the main man behined Satanic Warmaster, an openly NS black metal band (and GREAT band at that ! )

    Its funny that the only time the irony on this site is actually funny, is when you have no idea what you are talking about !

    • Biff Tannen

      Maybe this is that self-loathing Jewish thing we always hear about ?

  • Bob

    I don’t want to be a dick, but yes – I know the Satanic Warmaster thing. If it’s good music, I don’t give two shits about whatever they sing about or want to promote. At the end of the day, it’s about a riff, man.
    -Bob

  • Hand Banana

    They suck. If it’s not 80′s styly Thrash, Death or Black, I don’t fuck with it.

    Nice cover art though. It’s quite deceiving to have nice cover art come from a band with shit music. I hate when that happens.

    • Hand Banana

      Hair metal sucks.

  • Gustaf

    NS…? Implying that singing/mentioning about “forbidden” things is like would make someone a nazi is pretty serious. According to my knowledge by following these artists for over a decade shows clearly this isn’t at all what they’re about and I thought anyone would see it.

  • Yeah

    Yeah.

    Not surprising to see stupid and bewildered comments here.
    Armour is old school heavy metal, nothing to do with hair metal. I have waited for things like this to happen for a long time and heavy metal is slowly rising it’s head again.

    And anyone who has eyes in the black metal scene knows that SW is NOT AND NS BAND.

    ps. Go push a cactus up your ass.