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Editorials

THIS BAND IS BETTER THAN SUFFOKATE, BUT THEY STILL NEED A NEW NAME

 Thursday, February 18th, 2010 at 12:30pm by

After enduring the shittiness that is Suffokate, I made the following declaration:

Suffocation is far too legendary a band for anyone to use any variation on the word “suffocate” ever again. I don’t care how you spell it. Not helping: that Suffocation are still active, still awesome, and probably more talented than 99% of their death metal peers from any generation, ever.

And now it’s come to my attention that there’s a Portugese band called Suffochate.

Seriously.

That doesn’t even make any fucking sense. And it might be the lamest band name ever. I bet these guys get a lot of people going “What’s Suffo-chate,” pronouncing a hard “H.” It’s like in that Tom Hanks movie, That Thing You Do!, where the band calls themselves “The Oneders,” to be pronounced “one-ders,” and everyone thinks they’re “the oh-need-ers.” It’s just an awful, awful moniker to have chosen.

They’re actually better than Suffokate, if only because they play generic death metal, as opposed to generic deathcore. But still… give me a break, dudes. There are thousands, if not millions, of evil-sound words that don’t already sound like the name of a legendary band that’s actually good. GET A FUCKING DICTIONARY AND CHOOSE A DIFFERENT NAME, YOU NIT WITS. Trying to make a pun like that only makes you seem even sillier.

-AR

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  • The Dude

    Haha YES. That Thing You Do! is the greatest fuckin’ movie.

  • Adam

    I say they change it to “Suffolk Hate”. Suffolk is a place, and if you say “Suffolk Hate” fast enough it’ll come out as Suffocate anyways.

    And yes I am aware that Suffolk is not Portugal, but whatever.

  • rancidcorpse

    fail

  • Adam

    Lmao, yeah “Suffokate” beats “Suffochate” any day of the week.

  • Who

    In French, “chatte” means pussy.
    With a double t, I know, but you don’t need to spell it correctly to be a real pussy.

  • no-ghost

    I think there should be a ban on the word “BLACK” also.

    Black cobra, black pyramid, black tusk, black black black black. Its not a knock against the bands musically but really guys.

    • SonOF

      and any derivative of “blood” (bleed, bleeding, bloody) as well as “death” (dying, dead, died)

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Bryan-Keith-Blain/100000618260825 Bryan Keith Blain

    suffokate is still a decent band but hey everyone has their own preferences

  • Sambo

    So basically MetalSucks, you like generic death metal and you hate generic deathcore? That doesn’t even give you a good logical excuse as to why you think that makes sense. That’s like saying Veil of Maya doesn’t even come close to being as amazing as Cannibal Corpse, and to tell you the truth, CC doesn’t even come CLOSE to the musical mastery that comes out of VoM.

    • IamracistbutiloveOceano

      You sir, are a damn fool.

    • Connor

      CC? Not as good as VoM? please leave

    • SonOF

      “CC doesn’t even come CLOSE to the musical mastery that comes out of VoM”

      Who do you think people will remember 10 years from now, Cannibal Corpse, or Veil of Fucking Maya? Hell, even 5 years from now there’s a good chance VOM will be forgotten. And don’t give me that, “more popular/well-known doesn’t mean better” shit. In this case it does.

      And they didn’t say they liked this (generic death), they just said it was BETTER than the generic deathcore stylings of Suffokate (which isn’t saying much at all).

      Go fondle yourself to the Sumerian Records Spring Sampler..

  • IamracistbutiloveOceano

    Does this mean my band Suphphocate have to change our name?

    • http://thenumberoftheblog.wordpress.com/ groverXIII

      You could change it to Sufphfphocate…

  • Sandwiches

    Vom > cc? Whoa…. Vom is a talented band and all but no, just no.

  • http://www.myspace.com/suffochate Suffochate

    dudes,get a life.
    just to explain that shit.
    WHEN WE CHOSE THIS NAME,WE NEVER THOUGHT THAT ALREADY EXISTS A BAND CALLED “SUFFOKATE”.
    WE CHOOSE THIS NAME 3 YEARS AGO AND IT CAME FROM THE NAME OF A GREAT SONG FROM A PORTUGUESE GREAT BAND CALLED “PITCH BLACK”.(YEAH, ONE MORE BAND WITH “BLACK” ON THE NAME..UHHH PRETTY AWESOME!)

    So,and if you try to grow up a little bit and try to SUPPORT underground bands instead of attack everything and everyone???
    We’re just here with the same goal as you, we’re just here cause we love what we do and we love do music.
    yeah,I know, i’m a failure at english but at the least I know how to write PORTUGUESE(not portugese).

    Btw,thanks a lot for your pub,we’re getting a lot of plays,adds and visitors on myspace!;)

    See you soon!

    SUFFOCHATE

    • Spanky

      PWNED! haha Suffochate told you!

    • SonOF

      UHH the problem is not that there is another band with the name “Suffokate.” The original post was about the fact that your name (as well “Suffokate”) is so close to SUFFOCATION (one of the most legendary death metal bands in history). Please tell me you have heard of SUFFOCATION..you have right?!!!?

      Actually I just saw on a post below that you guys are like 18 and 19 years old..so I guess there IS a chance (even though it’s mind blowing to me) that you haven’t heard of SUFFOCATION. If you haven’t, you need to listen to them. Probably 95% of the bands you do listen to (or are influenced by) have been influenced by them. Once you realize how influential Suffocation is, you may realize that naming your band “Suffochate” is like calling yourself “Metallican.”

      http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Suffocation_%28band%29

  • so7invictus

    wat about… sucko-fate?
    hmm, i think im missing the point here

    • http://www.myspace.com/suffochate Suffochate

      what about suck-my-big-fat-cock-and-die?;)

  • cryoloathe

    Well i’ve seen these guys once live, and in my humble opinion they were more deathcorish with bits n pieces from other extreme styles at slower tempo. I didn’t enjoyed the sufochate gig like the others i saw that night.

    If you wanna check out good portuguese metal bands go check out switchtense,wako,endgate (really good).

    • http://www.myspace.com/suffochate Suffochate

      hey dude!where did you saw us and when?
      we accept your opinion,btw I think,you should understand that we’re just a bunch of kids with 18/19 years and we’re still learning to play while the bands you said,are guys with at least 25 years and very experienced.
      So, about that bands, personally I just like The End Gate.
      I will never understand why in our country Thrash is so acclaimed. While death metal bands or deathcore bands are completely broken down and put aside.

      Cheers,
      André

  • suffokate

    So I’m in our van bored and stumbled upon this thread. I thought it was funny cause we just did a few dates with suffocation on a tour we just finished with dying fetus and. The faceless. I thought you might find it interesting to know that suffocation really liked us, in fact derrik there guitar player bought out last hoodie and now wears it on stage when they perform. They don’t care that our name is similar because we are two very different bands. When we came up with our name we never thought we would get big enough to where anyone would care this much about our band name, so sorry if you don’t like out name or out music but to be honest we don’t care. We do this because we love playing music for people, we don’t do it for any other reason. Just thought I’d let you know.

    Lars suffokate