LIVE FOOTAGE OF GOATWHORE, BROUGHT TO YOU BY CREST, COLGATE AND LISTERINE

MS reader Christopher Jacques once emailed us to share a revelation he had while at the front row of a Goatwhore show: Ben Falgoust’s got a beautiful set of chompers. “I am not even kidding – he must be in the no cavity club for life.  Perfectly straight.  Brilliantly white.” And while the photographic evidence Jacques submitted didn’t do much to support the “perfectly straight” claim, it’s certainly true that Falgoust could be a poster boy for Crest White Strips. More than one metal lady has confessed to me their crush on Mr. Falgoust, and as a straight man confident in his sexuality I gotta say… dude’s got it goin’ on! If I were a chick or gay I’d definitely bang him.

This has absolutely nothing to do with the ripping live Goatwhore footage posted by HardTimes.ca, an excellent metal website easily worth its weight in fine, British Columbia green. You can’t really see Ben’s pearly whites but since you’re reading this website you’re a dude and you don’t really care about that anyway. What you do care about is the kicking of asses, which you’ll get in spades. The footage was shot in Montreal on their current tour with Devildriver.

-VN