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Hair Metal Happy Hour

BRET MICHAELS DEFINITELY FUCKED MILEY CYRUS

 Friday, February 26th, 2010 at 12:30pm by

Bret Michaels recently recorded two duets with tween sensation Miley Cyrus (who actually looks like more of a dude than he does): one was a cover of Poison’s “Every Rose Has its Thorn” (which I haven’t heard yet), and one was this song, “Nothing to Lose,” which The Huffington Post points out includes the lyrics “Tonight in the darkness there’s nothing to lose/We both know better than this, still we can’t resist/Slowly get undressed.”

And for the record, Michaels is 46, and Cyrus is 17.

So the next seasons of Rock of Love may very well involve Michaels choosing from a batch of large men named “Bubba” in a prison shower.

Thanks to Val for the tip!

-AR

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  • Daren

    OH! DEAR! GOD!

  • Lordassenfroth

    i hate everything about who breast micheals chooses to be.

  • iolanach

    “Miley Cyrus (who actually looks like more of a dude than he does)”

    Really? Then i really want to fuck Bret Michaels.

  • BH

    WHAT ARE YOU JEALOUSE OF MILEY, YOU SICK BASTARD

  • http://www.hibernum.net hibernum

    http://www.ageofconsent.us/

    Depending on where they did it, it might be OK. California = prison, but down in Alabama it is A OK.

  • http://www.masterful-magazine.com/ Choronzon

    Miley’s 17 already? One more year before she’s legal. Couple of years and she’ll need to take her top off to keep people interested in her “work”. I hope she goes the way Lindsay Lohan went, one tween queen that fell off her pedestal… hard.

    • TallNerdGuy

      Disney probably has a deal set up where if she so much as even has a nip-slip, they’ll take all of her money away and rape her father in his achy breaky ass.

    • Dirtman73

      Yup, I can’t wait to see the trainwreck she becomes in about five years. Gonna be really entertaining to watch that shit unfold.

  • blavendish

    Ah your Honor it was the diabetes. We rubbed genitals but no penetration occurred because of my flaccid diabetic dick. She ate my gaping diabetic asshole instead.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Mark-Irwin/612231572 Mark Irwin

    Oh… dear…

  • Alex_P

    That’s just gross. I feel bad for Miley.

  • You Don’t Know Me

    Ya know, normally, I’d be grossed out and probably offended by the mere idea of a guy Brett’s age sleeping with someone Miley’s age, but in the case of Brett Micheals, for some odd reason, it wouldn’t really surprise me if it were true.

  • binkles

    oh you know if miley got all naked up in your face youd be all over it

  • Fatturds

    Well, at least it wasn’t Gene Simmons.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/David-Hulsey/653830783 David Hulsey

    Only 14 comments on this one? Too easy of a target perhaps?

  • grammartwo

    What a great headline…hahahaha…you guys are awesome.

  • Jargon

    Honestly? Given half the chance, I’d fuck her brains out, too.

    IF YOU SAY YOU WOULDN’T, YOU ARE LYING. YOU WOULD HIT THAT SHIT. TWICE.