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Hipsters Out Of Metal!

ROCKING OUR ARSIS OFF

 Friday, February 26th, 2010 at 4:00pm by

Thursday’s big announcement of Aerosmith’s reconciliation (and tour!) kinda ensured that I’d spend all afternoon hiding a conspicuous boner. Even so, it was nice to exhale after months spent watching helplessly as Steven Tyler threatened to diva his way out of earth’s last rock ‘n roll band and into the world of tragically misguided solo careers. But perhaps Tyler’s new representation successfully conveyed to him the probable result of such a move: Either he could bank on big tours as Aerosmith frontman with, say, Motley Crue, or risk co-headlining casinos with Vince Neil. Scary! Tyler’s personal “brand” goes unmentioned in the band’s, uh, statement, so the Tyler/Neil Sadness + Shame Tour might happen someday for all we know. For now, Tyler and the ancient men of Aerosmith are now girding up their loins for a few more awesome gigs. And I say, Hell yes. Hell yes, I say.

My slavish hanging on the balls of Aerosmith is embarrassing, but I can’t help it that my ears are gay.  Also, I follow an example set by James Malone of Arsis, whose love of silly bands is expressed without hesitation. It’s shameful to forever drag the poor guy down with me whenever I feel insecure about my, uh, proclivities, and shit, actually, the whole point of mentioning Aerosmith was to hurry along* my drooling praise of the new fucking Arsis record, Starve For The Devil, which is a pure white beam of awesomeness. So it’s all connected, friends. Plus, Malone and Tyler each have some totally understandable rehab time in their recent past. Actually, if some jerk writer wanted to recklessly jump to pat conclusions, he’d assert that S4tD seems to reflect a victory in Malone’s personal battles; it’s still Arsis, but bigger, better, and way more fun! To get the idea, imagine 2008′s We Are The Nightmare but expand it sonically and rhythmically tenfold in every direction. Then imagine snappy lyrics, riffs that aren’t so needlessly busy, and grooves that jam. Then imagine your last $15 angrily demanding to be spent on a crisp new copy of Starve For The Devil.

- ADF

*That is, I wanted to be brief about Arsis to allow for about three hours of Aerosmith karaoke tonight.

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  • DidgeryDo

    Sick song and album art is best I’ve seen a while.

  • Double D

    That album is fucking great. My friends and I have been playing it over n over, etc.

  • Horeshine

    Favourite album of 2010.. fucking love it! Glad I shilled the money out for it… No regrets here!

  • GuuGuu

    the final line of this article should be “Then imagine Steven Tyler’s balls resting on Anso’s face”

  • Ziltoid

    Rhapsody’s discography has more balls than the this album. Seriosuly, this is metal for people who just discovered Fear Factory and Bodom (i.e., false crap).

    • Discipleofthewatch

      I love “false crap” like Bodom and Arsis. Not Fear Factory, though.

      On with the false crap!

      • Andy Synn

        He’s right though.

        Although perhaps the statement should read…

        “Seriously, this is metal for people who just discovered Fear Factory and Bodom, as well as for people who have followed this band and metal for years.”

        God, I HATE being misquoted, so I feel his pain.

      • Ziltoid

        I was referring to both FF and Bodom as false crap, as well as this Arsis album.

        If only Arsis quit after A Diamond for Disease…

        • Kevin

          we all stil remember how you were caught liking Disturbed Ziltoid. But keep on living the fantasy, why not?

          • Ziltoid

            That was Revrant. I have no clue what happened to that weirdo…

        • Andy Synn

          I know you were…

          Hence why I left that idiotic statement out of my new and improved version.

          I mean really, “false crap”?

          False? What are you? The miniscule content of Manowar’s loincloths?

          False. True. Mall-core.

          These statements mean nothing musically. Self-serving bullshit designed to promote artificial boundaries in music so people can be happy in the “us vs them” paradigm and convince themselves of their own superiority.

          The same reason people purposefully click on articles they know they won’t like in order to spread their negative opinion.

          Of course without that such articles would just be mammoth reach-around sessions, but to be honest there’s a difference between honest questioning of why people like certain abnds/aspects of bands and going onto a thread purely to say “this band suckz, I am great”.

          AND (playing devil’s advocate here) what happens if Arsis release their next album and it’s of a sort that you actually like/approve of? Should they have quit after ADFD in that case?

          Americans and your sweeping statements. “This band sucks now… so I will never listen to them again, not even if they stop sucking.”

          Reminds me of some of the responses to Pete Dolving’s old blogs.

          • GuuGuu

            Poor Zit-loid.

          • Discipleofthewatch

            good points, there, Mr. Synn. Except that “Americans and your sweeping statements.” Isn’t that kind of a sweeping statement also?

            You were not specifically asked to give your opinion in this instance, Ziltoid, as you were with Machine Head. Do you see me calling all seven bands that you like false crap? No, because I couldn’t give a flying fuck to be bothered to do it, and because I’d probably like those bands, anyway.

          • Andy Synn

            Damn, that was indeed also a sweeping statement.

            Ah well, i’m only human and suffer from that most human of conditions, inconsistency.

            But not consistently.

        • pudding

          If you’d only quit after this comment.

  • Discipleofthewatch

    I got this album at their show recently, and I’m glad I did! It’s face-melting. Mine is signed by two of the guys in the band, also, so I burned a copy of it so as not to beat up the original one.

  • Andy Synn

    They’ll never write another “A Diamond For Disease!, or even “Seven Whispers…”…

    And i’m ok with that. Years of therapy (seemingly condensed into repeated listens of “…Nightmare” and “Starve…” have allowed me to become a well-rounded human being who appreciates that :

    Even though the songs are less immediately technical, EVERY riff is still killer.

    Remembering to have bass in the mix gives it a sonic boost over “…Nightmare”s overly dry sound (Noah Martin, truly you were wasted).

    And Mike Van Dyne is THE man.

  • brandonmetal

    united in regret is still my favorite arsis album.

    • zeflows

      lust before the maggots conquest rules hard

  • bretton

    my copy just came in today! Hoodie, T-Shirt, CD and Vinyl!

  • boneous

    This album is amazing.

  • thegreatadrianing

    this song is awesome
    has nothing to do with bodom or ff
    do i hear queensryche influences?
    goddamn
    i need this album

  • ITTOA666

    This album sucks and Ziltiod is still an eletist douche. What a surprise.