SWEET.

MetalSucks Maniac “mankvill” directed us to this tweet from Coalesce, in which the band – or whomever runs their Twitter account at least – posted the above photo. Converge and Coalesce? And Gaza? I’m not really familiar with Lewd Acts or Black Breach – does that say Black Breach? – but on this bill, I’d be willing to give them the benefit of the doubt.

I haven’t seen this reported anywhere else yet, which makes me a little suspicious – but maybe Coalesce just let the cat out of the bag early. They above says they’re only on select dates, and we don’t have dates yet. But everyone just start hopin’ the tour comes near them, and comes near them with both bands in tow.

-AR

I’m sorry to write about what a giant disappointment Slash has become twice in one day, but come the fuck on.

Anyone remember CMC, that label that tried to re-launch hair metal in the mid-90s? The quality of their album art was generally on par with the quality of Slash’s new solo album cover. When Vince heard the guitarist’s awful remake of “Paradise City,” he said “It’s not just that Slash is chasing trends – it sounds like he’s chasing trends from a decade ago.” Ditto here. This album cover should have great appeal to anyone who’s ever wanted to be a contestant on Rock of Love.

-AR

[via Blabbermouth]

Last weekend I finally got to see Magrudergrind play live at Cakeshop. I meant to write a review but didn’t get around to it last week, and now our friend Justina Villaneuva, who made her way through the intense pit of the little basement show to get a closer than I did because I’m a pussy, wrote a pretty detailed review for Noisecreep. If you wanna read about how awesome the show was – and it was awesome – you should read that.

No,  this isn’t a show review – just a long-winded way of bringing up NYC’s own Defeatist, who went on right before Magrudergrind. I wasn’t previously familiar with this band, but both Rich Hallford Brooklyn Vegan‘s Black Bubblegum encouraged me to get to the show early and check ‘em out. And I’m glad I did.

This is filthy, deformed, venomous grind. It almost sounds like some inbred rednecks are taunting a crying baby, except that Defeatist aren’t inbred rednecks, they’re pissed-off New Yorkers, which means they’re smarter and care even less about their fellow members of the human race. The band’s MySpace page describes their sound as “A fucking mess,” and that’s a pretty accurate description. If you have love in your heart, this band is not for you.

Check these dudes out. They’re playing Maryland Deathfest in May; hopefully there will be other opportunities to see them live before then.

-AR

This bootleg footage of Saturday night’s show brought to you by someone calling him or herself “OnaiggacA.”

Between the Buried and Me, Cynic, and Scale the Summit are all amazing bands. And on Saturday night at Irving Plaza here in NY, they played amazing shows. The kinds of shows that, at any given moment, might make you think “Hey, this is one of the most fun shows I’ve ever been to.”

But make no mistake. The headliner of this tour is Mr. Devin Fucking Townsend.

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I’ve just heard Oh, Sleeper for the first, and hopefully the last, time. How did it come to this? Oh, Sleeper (holy shit is that comma ever annoying) is one of those bands I feel like I keep hearing about, but until five minutes ago had never actually heard before. And then I saw that the good people over at Noisecreep were premiering the band’s new video, “The Finisher,” and I thought “Hm, I think I’ll have a look at that.”

The worst part is that I don’t think the video songs – it’s just that the song sucks. Although I appreciate the guitarist’s attempt to pass off a scale as a solo. That’s a neat trick for all musicians severely lacking in creativity to put in their bag.

And so here we are, with me typing this and blasting The Negation at full volume in attempt to wipe any traces of “The Finisher” from my memory. “The Finisher,” indeed.

-AR

UPDATE: HEY, LOOKIT THAT! Here’s the cover in all its glory. My stupid original story after the jump.

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Axl may think a cappella “metallers” Van Canto are the worst thing to happen to metal since EVER, but I happen to think they’re worthy of at least a chuckle. I mean, think about what must go on at their rehearsals and songwriting sessions… I’d love to be a fly on a wall at one of those and just laugh my ass off at the hilarious sounds emanating from these Germans’ mouths as they try to construct songs.

But here’s something even funnier. Suckalo MBraids sent us a link to the video for Van Canto’s song “Lost Forever” which has, wait for it… an a cappella breakdown. It must be seen to be believed. Fast forward to the 2:50 mark to see the ridiculousness in action. Then stick with it for the “guitar” solo, which I have to say is pretty fucking nifty (even if the guy is using tons of effects on his voice)… I do this regularly during guitar solos at karaoke, only I’m not as good.

-VN

[Thanks: MBraids]

So apparently Ozzfest is coming back this summer, and is coming back as a traveling tour again (as opposed to the one-off fest it was in 2008). And that’s all well and good, only… who’s gonna be on the bill?

Mayhem, which is basically Ozzfest 2.0, has already scooped up a lot of big-name bands for the summer, including many who have played multiple past Ozzfests – namely Korn, Rob Zombie, Lamb of God, Atreyu, Shadows Fall and Hatebreed, the latter of whom I think have been on something like 90% of all Ozzfests ever.

Add to that other Ozzfest alum like Chimaira, In This Moment and Norma Jean, and some bands the kids today all seem to like, such as Winds of Plague and They Who Shall Not Be Named, and, well, that’s a whole bunch of potential mainstage and second stage draws right there.

Then there’s the mini-fests like Summer Slaughter. I can’t tell you which bands we already know are booked for some of these tours without betraying a lot of people’s confidence, but I can tell you that some great bands are now no longer available for Ozzfest.

And, oh yeah, Megadeth, Slayer, and Testament are now doing their American Carnage tour in the summer, so they’re out.

So who’s left? After the jump, I’m going to play my favorite game: it’s called “over-think about something incredibly unimportant.”

Before we proceed, it’s worth noting that I’m going to try and be semi-realistic when moving forward with some barely-educated guesses about who’ll be playing Ozzfest. If a band already has summer tour dates booked, I’m going to assume they’re not avail, although I acknowledge that they could cancel those dates in favor of playing for a bigger crowd. And I’m not even going to bother with bands like Pig Destroyer, Sigh, and Salome – bands that will play Ozzfest right around the time Joey Belladonna’s solo band plays four sold-out headlining shows at Giants Stadium. Also, obviously not all of these bands are gonna end up on the bill – these are just bands I think could end up there.

And so, without further bullshit…

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Last year, I got way too busy with this thing called life and ignored this other thing called metal. As a result, I missed out on a lot of quality music as was evidenced by my paltry contribution to the year-end MetalSucks Best Of 2009 lists.

I am here to rectify the error of my ways, month by month.

Here are the January 2010 releases that got under my skin, burrowed their way into my brain, made my ears bleed, or simply tickled my unmentionables:

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Hails & Horns Magazine is now free. Starting with their Winter 2009 / 2010 issue (Municipal Waste cover), out now, Hails & Horns will be online for free in a digital format. Print versions of the magazine are still available for a fee.

As far as I know, Hails & Horns is the first metal print publication to offer its entire magazine online at all, let alone for no cost. Of the big dogs, Decibel offers the first several paragraphs of each feature article and full text of the reviews in the back of the mag, and Revolver offers none of their printed content online. It’s no secret that magazines make a very small portion of their money from subscription fees — the big bread-earner is advertising — so it’s not that shocking that a magazine would forgo subscription fees altogether. Some free magazines are quite profitable (see: The Onion, your town’s alt weekly arts mag [i.e. The Village Voice], etc). What remains to be seen is whether this (or any) magazine’s print advertisers are going to be down with the switch, and whether online readers have an interest in long-form magazine-style journalism and whether they want to read it on a computer screen.

Click to read more…

I didn’t watch the Grammys last night, and judging by Metal Injection’s report on the event, it doesn’t sound like I missed anything. For one thing, the award Best Metal Performance wasn’t even televised, because, well, metal heads know better than to watch this stupid show and the t.v. people want ratings, not goodwill. (Judas Priest won, in case you care; AC/DC won Best Hard Rock Performance.)

Worse, though, was a butchering of the legendary solo from “November Rain” by Slash (real name: Saul Hudson), Jaime Foxx (real name: Eric Marlon Bishop), T-Pain (real name: Faheem Rasheed Najm) and Doug E. Fresh (real name: Douglas E. Davis). Not just because the song needs hip-hop shenanigans like I need nut cancer; not just because some thought they had better put Slash’s name in big letters on the screen behind him when he came on stage, in case anyone was confused by the top hat, Les Paul, curly hair, and people yelling “SLASH!”; but really because Slash only sounds marginally better than Dj Ashba.

The funniest part? If Axl Rose is to be believed, getting Slash to even agree to record “November Rain” was like pulling teeth. I can’t wait to see what kind of shit I’ll do someday in the name of making my mortgage payments.

-AR

Following its postponment last month due to Tom Araya’s need for back surgery, Megadeth, Slayer and Testament have re-scheduled the dates for their American Carnage Tour. The shows will now take place this summer, which strikes me as somehow more appropriate… I don’t know why. I’d just rather go watch these three bands in warm weather than nice-to-mediocre weather.

And, uh, that’s it I guess. Get the new dates after the jump!

Click to read more…

It’s only the first day of February but it’s going to be damn hard to top the levels of bad-assery reached by White Wizzard‘s new video. “Over the Top” — from their forthcoming Earache debut of the same name — reminds me of the days of yore, when music videos, ya know, ruled; the storyline and acting in this ’80s throwback classic are as over the top as the song’s name would imply. Marooned in a dusty desert town under the spell of an evil mage, just when you think our heavy metal heroes are done for good the power of metal and the White Wizzard himself come to save the day and restore all that is right in the world. Classic!

I may sound like an old man, but when it comes to bad ass music videos they just don’t make ‘em like this anymore. Except if you’re White Wizzard (and directory Dave Vorhes).

Over the Top drops March 9th in the U.S. and February 8th in Europe.

-VN