HOW MUCH MORE BLACK CAN THESE VALIENT THORR SHOES BE? NONE MORE BLACK.

Valient Thorr are one of the most entertaining live metal bands on the planet. Valient Himself is one of the most ragingly funny frontmen in existence; Devin Townsend, Frank Mullen, Valient Himself. Dude just has me in fucking stitches before he even opens his mouth. He also sweats more in a 40 minute set than any normal human being does in a lifetime which in and of itself is pretty funny.

But a Valient Thorr shoe? Metal bands partnering with shoe companies to release custom models seems kind of in vogue lately, whatwith the widespread popularity of  Iron Maiden Powerslave Vans and Mastodon Vans. Shit, even not-all-that-popular bands like 3 Inches of Blood have joined the party with an admittedly damn cool line of Nike kicks. But all these shoes are just so fucking flashy, and honestly if I hadn’t been sent a pair of those 3 Inches of Blood hi-tops because I write for a hack metal blog I never would have bought them. Metalheads are plain folk and don’t really strike me as the shoe-collecting crowd, which begs the question: who exactly are these shoes being made for?

In contrast to the flashiness of the above-mentioned metal band sneakers, the new Valient Thorr shoe is plain and simple. It’s being made by Globe Shoes and was designed by Chris Haslam. And crucially: IT’S ALL BLACK! How much more metal than that can you get? Here’s a band that knows their fanbase well. At $70 they might be a little more than some metalheads are looking to spend, but $70 for a well-made pair of sneaks that’ll stand the test of time the mosh-pit is money well spent.

-VN