So it’s like this: over the weekend I re-discovered Pandora. No idea why. But I did. And I made a Cannibal Corpse station, because I’ve been listening to a lot of Cannibal Corpse since we announced that we’re sponsoring their Evisceration Plague Tour. And most of the stuff that came up on that station was stuff with which I was already intimately familiar: Deicide, Obituary, Skinless, Six Feet Under. Swell.

And then “Forever Dead” from Torture Killer’s 2006 album, the enthusiastically titled Swarm!, came on. How is it that I’ve completely forgotten about this record? It RULES so hard!

This Finnish outfit started as a Six Feet Under cover band – before they started writing original material and somehow managed to convince Chris Barnes to become their singer. Dude joined a band that was paying tribute to a group he founded! It’s like what happened to “Ripper” Owens in reverse!

Thing is, while I like a SFU song here and there – “Murdered in the Basement” makes me happy every time I hear it – they are, as we all recognize, by and large pretty silly. What I’m saying is that I actually like Torture Killer more, and wish that Barnes hadn’t left the band in 2008.

(In fact, I’d wager his absence is the reason I’m not digging last year’s Sewers nearly as much as Swarm!, which Barnes also produced. And with all due respect, since when the fuck has his absence really slowed the momentum of anything? I love his albums with Cannibal Corpse, but I don’t exactly sit around pining for his return.)

Here’s why TK are better than Six Feet Under:

1. The riffs are like a hundred times more memorable.
2. The choruses are like a hundred times more memorable.
3. The melodious sections of songs like “Forever Dead” and “Multiple Counts of Murder” add another layer to the proceedings, whereas SFU is just AARGH AARGH AARGH all the time, and not even very interesting AARGH AARGH AARGH. (And yes I recognize the hilarity in praising the melody of songs with titles like “Multiple Counts of Murder.” This is the profession I’ve chosen.)

ANYWAY, I really dug this album when it came out, but like I said, I’d somehow completely forgotten about it, so… thanks, Pandora! I’m happy to have Swarm! back in my life.

-AR