You all know Dale “Rage” Resteghini, right? He’s the music video director who somehow ended up managing and helping to sign Straight Line Stitch; then, when Vince wrote something negative about the band and MS readers chimed in to agree that they do, indeed, suck the big one, Rage actually started leaving comments here defending the band. Here’s a sample:

“I have been in ‘metal’ most of my entire life as a fan and professionally as a video director of over 250 videos…so I do have the cred, the respect, the understanding and a whole lotta ‘other stuff’ that makes my opinion the one that trumps all of yours.”

It’s good to know that he’s been into this kind of music for “most of his entire life” and not just most of most of his life, but I don’t know why the word “metal” is in quotes like that; did he used to be into Poison or something, and feels the need to let us know it wasn’t really metal? Whatever, not important. I shouldn’t question him. He has the cred and the respect and the “other stuff” that makes his opinion the one that trumps all of ours. Anyway, here’s another pearl of wisdom:

“Metal Edge and EAT a substantial Japanese music rag are interviewing the band for coverage…the buzz and support o this band is amazing so no matter how many rehashed hate blogs some of you want to throw into the mx…it just doesn’t matter as you can see and you will continue to see and hear throughout this band’s career!!!”

Well, I sure am glad that they’ve got Metal Edge on their side. I look forward to SLS’ July 20never cover story. But why did they eat a substantial Japanese music rag? Were they not given a per diem for some reason? You don’t think he meant “EAT, a susbtantial Japanese music rag, are interviewing the band for coverage,” do you?

And while we’re asking questions, if it “doesn’t matter” what the people on sites like this one say, then why do you think that this successful, presumably very busy dude was leaving comments on MetalSucks at 9:45 at night and 2:30 in the morning?

Sorry, sorry, I’ll shut up. Rage has the cred and the respect and… y’know. His opinion trumps ours.

Why the hell am I talking about this again?

Oh, right. Rage has been hired by Axl Rose to shoot stills for the band’s upcoming South American. tour, and to direct some videos for Chinese Democracy. So that should go swimmingly.

I mean, everything Axl says is gonna happen always happens, right? Like that amazing documentary about the original line-up’s Use Your Illusion tour. Rose hired that whole crew to follow the band around for months and film, and then he culled in the footage into You May Be Wondering What Documentary Axl Rosenberg is Talking About, Because it was Never Actually Fucking Completed. Terrific film.

And when Axl apparently told fans in 2002 that he was actually making three albums, with Chinese Democracy to be followed once a year by a new release for two years, Lord of the Rings-style. It felt so great, after finally getting to hear Chinese Democracy in 2008, to get ANOTHER new GN’R album in 2009! I can’t wait for the third, Still Waiting for the Fucking Second, this coming ain’t gonna happen.

And best of all is that video for “Better,” the first single from Chinese Democracy! Lars Ulrich was holding up its release for awhile, apparently refusing to sign a waiver or something ’cause he was in it for some reason, but then he finally signed and the video came out! And it was worth the wait!

This is also a good business move for Rage because Axl is such a sound partner. It’s not like musicians and staff (who are often one and the same, it would seem) are constantly quitting on him (because he apparently never fires anyone). And it’s not like he’s gone through managers* like he’s gone through guitar players**. And drummers***. And producers****. And it’s not like he’s constantly ending up in lawsuits with former collaborators. I mean, Robert John has been GN’R's official photographer since before they were signed, and he’s still with the band, right? In fact, he’s working on this project with Rage… isn’t he?

Yep yep. It’s gonna be nothing but smooth sailing for Dale “Rage” Resteghini from here on out, everyone.

And by the way, I looked into a crystal ball that can tell the future, and here’s the comment Rage leaves under this very article:

“I m making so much $$$ from this project that ur all just jealous. Whatever. This project will turn out great, as you will all c!!! I am too busy to comment on the haters. Bye until later.”

-AR

*Alan Niven, Doug Goldstein, Merck Mercuriadis, Irving Azoff, Doc McGhee

**Izzy Stradlin, Slash, Gilby Clarke, Paul Tobias, Robin Finck, Buckethead, Bumblefoot, Richard Fortus, Dj Ashba

***Steven Adler, Matt Sorum, Josh Freese, Brain, Frank Ferrer

****For Chinese Democracy alone: Mike Clink, Sean Beaven, Roy Thomas Baker, Bob Ezrin, Andy Wallace, Caram Costanzo.