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Black Metal Bowel Movement, New Shit

PRAY IN 1349′S “ATOMIC CHAPEL”

Tuesday, March 16th, 2010 at 2:36pm by

If yous nevers seens 1349 in concerts, yous has nots livededs. I knows religions is bads and stuffs, but its likes a religious experience. Likes when yous really needs to gos numbers twos, and yous dos not thinks you ares goings to make its, and then you dos? HAIL SATAN! It’s as Antichrist Christmases miracles! That ees whats 1349 ees likes in concerts.

Band hases a news albums coming out, Demonoir, on April 27. News song, “Atomic Chapel,” ees streamings on your spaces rights now. Hopefullys theys comes backs tos thees shitholes yous calls “America” soon, ‘cuz Axl n’ Vinces wills nots let mes leaves theese infernals place. Ebil bastards.

-NC

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  • Jeffb

    I love this band

  • builtforsin

    Please try and take the dick out of your mouth while writing reviews.

    Thank you.

  • Ben

    “Look at me guys, I’m a blogger and I am totally hilarious because… look… I can steal jokes thought up by someone else. See, I’m totally typing like that guy from Metalocalypse. Hahaha. I’m soooo witty”

  • Aaron R A

    You are an exceptionally fucking annoying blogger.

  • Andy Synn

    Hey, maybe he has massively bda dyslexia? Or some sort of brain tumour. Benefit of the doubt here people.

    Either way, 1349 are amazing. Have seen them live several times and they have always impressed. Also, I liked “Revelations Of The Black Flame” (awaits online barrage of hatred).

  • I, Monarch

    I hated Revelations of the Black Flame when it came out. Then I smoked some weed and listened to Revelations of the Black Flame. It was better and scarier. But still nothing compared to the previous scorchers. I hope the new song holds promise for more face beatings instead of atmospheric frights.

  • Kye

    I absolutely adore these guys. Revelations grew on me quite a bit since I first wrote it off as being mediocre at best.

    That said, this is probably my favorite thing I’ve ever heard by them. Goddamn amazing band, live or otherwise.

  • earthsherm

    man it sucks to read your writing

  • SP420

    I REALLY hope I’ll be able to listen to this and say Album of the Year and move on from the horrid shitstain that was Revelations.

  • SourDeez

    What up Skwisgaar?

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/William-Morley/618112437 William Morley

    Wtf is the point in these posts? I love black metal but I just never read these posts because of this annoying twat. It’s a shame because these posts seem to be the only real Black Metal coverage on the site, aside from the usual (totally justified) Varg-bashing.

  • Salome1pigdestroyer

    How annoying is this Blogger???!!!!!!!!
    DAMN kick him out of here!!!!ARGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH

  • krunkulor5000

    1394 sux seen em live and can only thank them for the migraine from getting sleepy but forcing myself to stay awake to see the wayyyyyyyyyyyyy cooler bands, ugh just like goatsuck lastnight, dont understand how bands like that make it its metal and all but damn people dont seem to have standards these days. (vomitinmymouthabit)

    • krunkulor5000

      black metal sucks, hahah its actually farrrrrrrrrr from black considering the flat ass and no rythm