OKAY, NOW IT’S LIKE BRET MICHAELS IS GOING OUT OF HIS WAY TO BE UNCOOL

Thursday, March 18th, 2010 at 3:00pm by

You would think that being the singer for Poison would embarrassing enough. Not for Bret Michaels. He wants people to remember him when he dies, damn it. He is going to be the single most embarrassing human being in the history of rock music if it kills him. That’s why he’s piled a sex tape, multiple I.Q.-reducing reality shows, a major embarrassment at a televised award show, and a song admitting his pedophilic tendencies to his resumé. We’ve seen what the cat dragged in, and it’s name is Bret Michaels.

Now Blabbermouth just posted this interview Bret did with… The Weather Channel. THE FUCKING WEATHER CHANNEL. Bret admits to being “a weather geek” because he tours a lot and – here’s some real insight for ya – “each city brings its own set of different weather.” (You mean the weather in Miami and the weather in Detroit aren’t exactly the same at all times?!? EGADS!!!) Then the interviewer asks him some real searing questions, like “What is the craziest weather you’ve come across?” Seriously, this shit is boring it makes our interview with the kid from Black Tide look like Frost/Nixon. Bret Michaels is such a massive loser that if heavy metal were a high school, there can be little doubt that he’d spend a lot of time in his locker.

By the way: am I imagining it, or at the very beginning of this video does Bret glance at the nice ladies’ boobs? Not that we haven’t all done that from time to time to time to time to time to time, but not while we’re being on television. Sheesh. You almost think he’s gonna say “Awhasa goin’ on?” and then offer her a backstage pass.

-AR

  • http://reaper-x.deviantart.com/ Reaper-X

    Please…Bret…SHUT THE FUCK UP.

    Quit while you’re behind!

  • ferris

    Jimmy Pop from the Bloodhound Gang, also a big Weather Channel guy. Among touring musicians, not as rare as you’d imagine.

  • Vincent

    I’ve never been a huge Poison fan but I have to admit that the worst song by Poison is a million times better than 99% of modern Metal.
    By the way, in about 10 years you will never see any of our modern days metal bands on any fuckin weather channel cause nobody will remember them.

    Metal really sucks these days.

    • soy el niño más bonito

      what the hell have you heard of modern metal?

    • http://metalmadeincanada.ca Legion

      Back in the days bla bla bla…

      We heard ya old man!

  • Hammer_Smashed_Hurtt

    But y’know what?

    He’s pulled more ass than a toilet seat in his lifetime, than all the MS staff ( Ya you Axl. Mr fluffy wintercoat), MS commenters, and guest Bloggers.

    He may be a douche, but the fact remains..

  • DecrystallizingReason

    hahaha he totally tried to sneak a peek at her tits, but hell, I’d have done the same

  • \m/Eluveitie\m/

    Bret Michaels is now officially so uncool, he’s cool. I said it.

  • Fufkin

    Him and Bach are having some kind of warped competition in diminishing returns. They’ve now stained any legends they had a permanent yellow from pissing on them so much.

  • bert

    The weather is relevant to his diabetes. Dirty bloated sack of diabetic shit. Fuck him.