Kreator’s twenty-fifth anniversary tour, which features the very strong supporting line-up of Voivod, Nachtmystium, Evile, and Lazarus A.D., rolled through NYC on Saturday night, and, yeppers, I was there. I don’t have tons to say about it, but I did wanna give you a quick run-down, in the event that you are somehow on the fence about whether or not to buy a ticket when the tour comes to your town… so here are some quick thoughts about all the bands, in the order in which they appeared:

Click to read more…

What the hell, dude? First Marduk front dude Mortuus hit a kid who jumped on stage to try and hug him, then The Black Dahlia Murder’s Trevor Strnad followed suit; now some guy jumped on stage during a recent Kittie performance and tried to kiss front lady Morgan Lander… and she cracks him in the balls! So for once, a fan got a beat down and he actually deserved it.

Only problem is, it’s not a fan this time – it’s Tyler Whore, bassist for Sucked by a Sucking Suck. He’s apparently friends with the band. Guess Lander didn’t recognize him? Either that, or it was, uh, a Freudian slip, I guess.

Here’s video of the incident, courtest Hardtime.ca:

Thanks to the always-helpful Saul Hudson for the tip…

-AR

A man who needs no introduction…

-AR

[via Metal Injection... duh]

We haven’t talked much about Every Time I Die’s New Junk Aesthetic since its Fall 2009 release, despite a 4-out-of-5 horns writeup by Sammy O’Hagar and a fun follow-up interview with guitarist/beardo Andy Williams. But New Junk Aesthetic was pretty (pretty, pretty) good. I guess ETID just haven’t given us much to talk about lately.

I’m usually not a fan of music videos that just stitch together a bunch of road footage, but the new ETID video for “After One Quarter of a Revolution” has a twist; it’s all shots off dudes stage-diving while the band is playing. Glorious, dangerous, brutal stage-dives, including two nakee dudes who were apparently wasted or psyched enough to show their peen to an entire audience (and now, the world). There are also some great shots of dudes doing flips into the audience, “walking on water,” and yes, there’s the obligatory dude who’s WAY too big to crowd surf falling flat on his face. Awesome idea for a video.

-VN

Well, it certainly looks like a Bison B.C. cover.

The album comes out April 13 on Metal Blade. I have a hard time believing it will do anything but rock.

-AR

P.S. Yes I am aware that Soulfly also have an album called Dark Ages, wise ass.

A couple of weeks ago I got an e-mail from an anonymous reader claiming that the reason Howard Jones is missing the current Killswitch Engage tour is because he knocked up a porn star. Given that a) I had no idea who this e-mailer was, b) he or she offered no evidence whatsoever, and c) Jones is a married man, we didn’t run the story; it just seemed so ludicrous.

Well, we still have no idea if it’s true or not, but on Saturday night (I guess technically Sunday morning, depending on the time zone in which you live), a porn star I’ve never heard of (and I’ve heard of quite a few), Allie Foster, started tweeting that she was, in fact, Jones’ baby momma. Check out this screenshot, courtesy our friends at Metal Injection:

Click to read more…

Recently reunited post-hardcore vets Rival Schools have a new album on the way via Photo Finish Records, report our metal cohorts at SMNnews.com. The dudes in Rival Schools are hardcore and post-hardcore royalty: Walter Schreifels (Quicksand, Gorilla Biscuits, Walking Concert), Sammy Siegler (Youth of Today, Judge, CIV), Ian Love (Burn, Cardia), and Cache Tolman (Iceburn, Institute).

When I saw Rival Schools at CMJ in 2008 they seemed a bit rusty, but that doesn’t deter my excitement for a new album. Here’s “Used for Glue” from their one and only album, 2001′s United by Fate. I’m guessing that a good portion of our readership is too young to know/appreciate the importance of this band and their members, but now’s as good a time to learn as any.

-VN

Hey, remember last year when original Iron Maiden singer Paul Di’Anno called that band “boring” and compared Steve Harris to Hitler? Well in case ya don’t, here’s video of the incident:

So given his feelings on Maiden, you’d assume the singer has no real interest in playing any Maiden material or in any way acknowledging that part of his career, right?

So why the fuck is he doing a “special set” of songs from the first two Maiden albums, Iron Maiden and Killers, at the Hard Rock Hell IV festival in the UK this December?

Oh, yeah. ‘Cause without Iron Maiden, no one would give two shits about this guy. I mean, I’ve never seen Di’Anno live, but if I were him, I’d EXCLUSIVELY play songs from those two albums. And if I ever paid to see him and he didn’t do a whole shit ton of material from those records, I’d probably rush the stage and cock slap him.

What a massive, massive tool.

Interestingly enough, Blaze Bayley, another former Maiden vocalist not worth caring about, will be playing the same festival. Unfortunately, that poor dude didn’t even have Di’Anno’s good fortune to have appeared on any Maiden albums anyone actually listens to.

-AR

I’ve spoken at length in the past about In This Moment vocalist Maria Brink and her precious blue dress, going so far as to once hypothesize that her closet must look like Homer’s on The Simpsons – just dozens of copies of the same exact outfit. But I guess I was wrong! She’s now auctioning that very dress on eBay, where the garb is described as “This is the one of a kind dress she wore in the Forever video, 2008 Ozzfest and other events.” One of a kind? Really? So she wore that for basically every performance and promotional event up until she finally got a new, pink dress in August of 2009? Man, that thing must smell.

ANYWAY, as of this writing the dress is going for $500. It comes mounted in a black frame, although I’m sure that won’t stop some creepy dude from using it as a masturbatory tool.

And while we’re on the topic: bravo to Brink for taking the leap and parting with her most precious and recognizable of assets. Well, almost.

You can bid here, if you really have nothing better to do with your money.

-AR

[via Blabs]

Anyone else relieved that Avatar didn’t win Best Picture last night? Not that the Oscars matter any more than any other award in the scheme of things, but, seriously. I’m over it with the blue cat people.

ANYWAY, the movie that did win, The Hurt Locker, is notable to metalheads primarily because the film implies that its protagonist, SSG William James (Best Actor nominee Jeremy Renner), is a metalhead – or, at least, a really big fan of Ministry. When the audience first meets James, he’s blasting “Khyber Pass” by Ministry, and two other Ministry songs, “(Fear) Is Big Business” and “Palestina,” are also used during the course of the movie.

Some may find this offensive – you could argue that metal is, once again, being used as short hand for “something’s seriously wrong with this dude,” as is the case in so many films – but here’s what I think is really interesting about it: some of the biggest criticisms against The Hurt Locker are that it is (allegedly, at least) apolitical; it doesn’t take a stance on the war in Iraq, it just portrays some of the soldiers fighting over there. But Ministry are anything BUT apolitical, and one listen to their music gives away their stance on the issue at hand. Did the filmmakers realize this when they selected that particular band’s music to be in the movie? It’s hard for me to believe it was just an arbitrary decision…

-AR

I’m not much of a lyrics guy. Never have been. There’s the obvious fact that most metal screamers are nearly incomprehensible, but it goes beyond that. I was brought up in a musical family and started playing instruments at a very early age, so when I listen to music I’m listening to what’s being played, how the instruments interact with other, the arrangement and composition, the tones, the production, etc. I view the role of the vocalist in modern metal as that of another instrument; I listen to how the voice adds to the overall song, the melody (if he’s singing), and how it matches up with everything else. I very rarely pay attention to lyrics and even when I try I have a hard time staying focused before I’m distracted by something else going on in the “background”; it’s just the way my brain’s wired. Ask me what 99% of the bands I write about on a daily basis are singing about and I will have absolutely no idea.

But every now and then an album or song comes along whose lyrics I really connect with. I’ve always really enjoyed Butch Walker’s lyrics; dude’s a bonafide master, of course not just at lyric-writing but at everything musical. He knows how to craft a song, get a [musical] point across and write a turnaround from part to part better than anyone. Maybe the reason I connect with Walker’s lyrics is that they’re so damned straight-forward, simple and easily comprehensible by my non-lyrical mind. This line from “She Likes Hair Bands” on Walker’s latest I Liked It Better When You Had No Heart drew me in right away for obvious reasons:

She Likes Hair Bands
On satellite radio
But I was in one
So it’s a little too close to home

But the rest of the lyrics to the song have a lot more substance than the above jokey intro might imply. I just downloaded the album from Amazon for only $7.99 and you should too!

Listen to “She Likes Hair Bands” on Butch Walker’s MySpace, and then, after the jump… have a gander at Walker’s hair band past.

Click to read more…

Get yr swirl on kiiiiiiid…

(and yr whirl too)

-KW

I’m really, really disappointed in you, male MetalSucksians. After reader Ashley sent in some epic photos of herself in a MetalSucks hoodie and not very much else, I predicted we’d get an identical pic from a wise-ass dude by the end of the week. Nope. Either no one thought of it, or no one had the balls to do it. For shame. And now what are the three ladies who actually read this site to look at? Pics of Lars Ulrich’s dick?

Oh well. Here are some other things that happened this week:

• We debuted new music by Daughters, Woe of Tyrants, Stigma and Nails.
• As I Lay Dying’s Nick Hipa wondered “Who is coming to the island on L O S T?”, while Eyal pondered whether it’s better to burn out or fade away.
• We listened to the God of War EP and new releases by Shining, Burzum, and H.I.M.
• Antonin Skullia taught us about the law of Metalocalypse.
• Did this shitty Matthew Fox show steal The Haunted’s logo?

And next week I expect you, our beloved readers, to be back up to your usual level of witty repartee.

-AR

There’s a certain look that some people who have made some very fucked-up choices tend to take on, and it really creeps me the fuck out. (Disclaimer – I KNOW THERE’S EXCEPTIONS OUT THERE.) Specifically, I’m talking about that look that ex-meth heads get when they “find God.” Raise your hand if you either know somebody who died of drug-induced stupidity, or know someone who’s death won’t surprise you when they kick the bucket via O.D. or a bad combination of drugs. (Raises hand). You know how when someone is deep into a drug addiction their personality, not to mention their physical appearance, changes for the worse? The substances take a firm grasp of their brain and physiology. Their priorities turn completely upside down. I don’t like being around to witness that because, honestly, I don’t trust the people going through it. Again, their priorities turn completely upside down. How many people here have known those who got so bad into it that they were at the point of ruining their lives? I mean wives or girlfriends leaving, family leaving, friends leaving, job loss, home loss, teeth loss, extreme weight loss, etc. Kind of like this example we all know and love -



(Raises hand). Have you noticed how it seems like they either die, end up in jail, lose their mind, or become a ridiculous “God” freak? My unprofessional theory is that when someone develops an addiction, they are literally answering to a higher power, which has control over their brain and body chemistry. When they kick the drug habit, on comes “the God habit.” They tend to go for the gold with the “God” thing about as hard as they did with drugs. I guess that could count as having gone insane, too. Despite being clean, they usually don’t get their lives back. Usually they have to rebuild with some like-minded people. I typically don’t like what they become, but then the question is – well, what’s worse? Actually dying, or becoming a shell of a human being? I know the real answer is dying. Obviously. But for the sake of discussion, let’s polarize the issue and compare which one is worse. So don’t slag me for being insensitive.

Click to read more…

I’m not generally a fan of covers unless it’s something kinda outside the box and the band puts their own spin on it, but I am a fan of Gorod and a fan of Cynic, so it’s hard for me to pass harsh judgment on the French prog-metallers cover of Cynic’s “Textures.” It’s hubris of anyone to even dream of living up to the original, but if it exposes any new fans to Cynic, well, neat. You can stream the track here.

Gorod announced back in January that they were working on a new EP which would include one unspecified cover; I’m assuming this is it. Still don’t know a release date for that EP, although I’m assuming if the band is posting music on their MySpace, it has to lay just over the horizon.

-AR

It’s really difficult to get a sense of what’s going on overseas, but the beauty of the Internet is that our oceans suddenly matter much less (although record labels who still stagger release dates might beg to differ… gotta keep selling those overpriced $15 CDs!!!). The UK’s The Arusha Accord are a band I first wrote about last June, and since that time we’ve gotten more than a couple of emails about them. This tells me something’s percolating.

We’ve finally got a new video to judge them by. The song “Dead to Me” highlights what I remember liking best about this band last time around; their combination of Sikth-style whackiness and something a touch more accessible. Metal elitists purists might cringe at the band’s sparse use of clean vocals in the choruses, but I find it to be done tastefully and in a way that adds to the song as a whole. As for the video itself, it’s very simple but I really like the aesthetic of it; it just shows the band rocking the fuck out in a way that’s easy on the eye, and though playing in front of a white screen isn’t the most original idea ever it’s at least 100x better than a warehouse.

-VN

Thanks: Ozy

I just saw this as part of the “If CHUD Ran the Movies” series and it made me giggle…

Check out more hot photoshop action here. If you like movies and don’t read CHUD, you’re a loser.

-AR

So it’s like this: over the weekend I re-discovered Pandora. No idea why. But I did. And I made a Cannibal Corpse station, because I’ve been listening to a lot of Cannibal Corpse since we announced that we’re sponsoring their Evisceration Plague Tour. And most of the stuff that came up on that station was stuff with which I was already intimately familiar: Deicide, Obituary, Skinless, Six Feet Under. Swell.

And then “Forever Dead” from Torture Killer’s 2006 album, the enthusiastically titled Swarm!, came on. How is it that I’ve completely forgotten about this record? It RULES so hard!

Click to read more…

I’ve always been kind of indifferent towards Hirax, and their new video, for the title track from El Rostro de la Muerte (“The Face of Death”) isn’t really that great – but I do really dig the song. That being the case, I guess I should finally get around to checking out their latest album, huh?

-AR

I once had a summer job that required me to drive from NYC to a town called Garrison and back every day. That was a pretty lengthy commute – if I was lucky and there was no traffic, it would take a little under two hours each way – so I had plenty of time to crank metal and tempt fate, speeding-ticket wise. Kind of amazingly, no matter how fast I drove, I never actually got busted.

I mention it because when I think about it now, I honestly can’t remember what albums I used to blast as I was driving much faster than anyone reasonably should up and down the highway. But now a site called Exclaim! has posted a list of “Metal’s Top Ten Speeding Ticket Songs,” and it has some good suggestions for shit I could play if I ever find myself in such a position again.

Check out the list here, the come back and weigh-in with your favorite songs to speed by.

-AR

[via SMN]