First of all, congrats to Norman Schrader, Ryan Torchia, and a reader who asked that she be identified only as “Barbara” – they each correctly identified last week’s logo as belonging to the band Thyrfing, and they each win an autographed 7-inch from Goes Cube! Good for you, kids.

Now that we have that out of the way: did you know that MARCH IS METAL MONTH?!?! It’s true! And there’s gonna be all sorts of kick-assery to celebrate. You can go here for all the latest details; in the meantime, “Completely Unreadable…” is going to be partnering with MARCH IS METAL MONTH (gggggrrrr) for, well, the entire month of March to give away super-duper awesome prizes. First up: a copy of Arsis’ new album, Starve for the Devil, signed by the band, and an Arsis poster that is also signed by the band. Starve is a really fantastic record that you should own anyway, but you throw in the autographs, and, well, if I was you I’d get crackin’ on this here logo.

All you have to do to win is identify the name of the band whose logo appears below, then shoot me an e-mail at axl AT metalsucks DOT net with your answer, your name, and your address. From everyone who gets it right, we’ll randomly select one winner and announce his or her name next week.

This week’s logo was suggested by read Isaac Schwarz. Thanks, Isaac!

-AR

Last week on L O S T we were introduced to “The Lighthouse,” which further complicates the nature of Jacob vs. Nemesis and their candidates. Earlier that same day I shared an idea that the Cliffside Caves actually belong to Nemesis Dude, with those whose names written inside being the pawns played in Nemesis’ Jacob-defeating end. Given that our writers have been creating a black vs. white duality since season one, it makes perfect sense that their response to a cave would be with a lighthouse. The Lighthouse, aside from an obvious physical contrasting to the cave, also possesses a different purpose: bringing people to the Island (which as we know is what Jacob has been doing since time immemorial). It is here we see an almost identical rendition of numbered candidatesto the ons in the caves, which implies that both sides are aware of all names in consideration.

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WOW. In the “I did not see that coming category” is Arsis mainman James Malone’s list of “The Top Five Records that Influenced Starve for the Devil,” which was published last week on The Deciblog. I would have expected to see some thrash, some death metal, and some hair metal, but really never would have guessed at least three and possibly four of the albums Malone selected. And if you’re one of those nitwits who was so offended that Malone plays a pink guitar in the “Forced to Rock” video, than you should call 911 right now and make sure the ambulance has already arrived before you start reading the list, because you’re definitely gonna choke on your own tongue.

Go to The Deciblog to read Malone’s entire list. I don’t wanna give too much away, but I will say one of the more surprising releases on the list was Walking with Strangers by The Birthday Party Massacre, who Malone calls “One of the better bands to come out in the last seven years or so.”

Arsis Starve for the Devil is awesome, by the way, and is out now on Nuclear Blast!

-AR

Treat this as an unverified rumor for now, but… a source who claims to be close to Iwrestledabearonce tells us that Dennis Haskins, who played the role of “Mr. Belding” on Saved by the Bell for far too many years, is going to be a making an appearance in the band’s new video. It’s for the song “See You Shell,” and it shoots this Sunday in North Carolina.

The source also tells us that the band has already filmed some green screen work for the clip, and the video is about… well, that I’m gonna keep that under my hat for now. Might as well leave some surprises for when the video is eventually released.

Anyway, green screens + Mr. Belding = WIN, in my book. Haskins was actually pretty funny on an episode of It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia not too long ago, and besides… he’s metal as fuck, dude!

-AR

MetalSucks is double-dipping this year at the annual showdown/brodown/hoedown in Austin, TX by bringing you TWO awesome metal shows. You already know about the amazing Full Metal Texas lineup during the day on Thursday, March 18th — featuring Darkest Hour, Howl, Fair to Midland, Iron Age, Karnivool, Iwrestledabearonce and more — and today we’re pleased to announce that we’re sponsoring the showcase for one of our favorite metal labels, Prosthetic Records. The lineup, starting at 7pm on the festival’s inaugural Wednesday night, features the future of Prosthetic’s roster: Scale the Summit, Landmine Marathon, Withered, Book of Black Earth and The Funeral Pyre. We haven’t heard of Clinging to the Trees of a Forest Fire or Lions of Tsavo before, but if Prosthetic gives them their stamp of approval they seriously must be excellent… and aren’t festivals like this supposed to be about discovering new music anyway?

But wait — there’s more! The Prosthetic showcase is taking place at the same venue as the Action PR showcase at the very same time, meaning once you’re in you’ll be able to freely roam between both stages, one inside and one outside. And check out THIS fucking lineup: High on Fire, Priestess, Bison B.C., The Gates of Slumber, Zoroaster and Namm. Holy fucktickles, are you kidding me? That’s 13 fucking awesome metal all for just $10 (free if you have a wristband) in one metal-filled evening. FUCK YES.

Coming soon: a MetalSucks-approved calendar of all the metal goings-on at SXSW 2010.

As long as [most] metalheads continue to be a bunch of close-minded goofs there will be a large majority of people who object to us posting about non-metal bands like Muse, despite their obvious metal influence and undertones. Dudes… you’re missing out. The other day Eyal Tweeted or posted on Facebook that the Muse show he just witnessed in person was one of the most mind-blowing shows he’d been to in eons (or something to that effect). Muse are the real deal in every single facet and they’re as close as we’ve got to true rock stars in the age of Internet-created micro-micro-sub-sub-genres. If for some reason you’re still averse to Muse, get yo’ head out yo’ ass, fools.

Muse just released a new video for the title track of their latest album The Resistance [posted on SMNnews.com] and it’s the rare exception to the rule that live-footage music videos are ho-hum. As our friend Eyal just witnessed, Muse’s live show is positively mesmerizing. World class. The only band whose live performances I can compare it to is Nine Inch Nails, whose concerts are basically theatrical performances where an awesome band just happens to be playing. Check out the video below, and if you happen to be lucky enough to live in one of the markets in which their North American tour is playing this month and next I implore you to go.

-VN

I know that there are lots of reasons why the Levi/Werstler project may never get to do a live show (or, better yet, a tour, even): there’s the usual considerations about the costs (financial or otherwise) of being on the road, and the Daath boys are hitting the studio in the not-too-distant future to record their new album, plus you’d have to coordinate their schedules with that of Cynic’s Sean Reinert, who plays drums on the album – and that would probably be a major pain in the tuchus. Still, I hope against hope that they somehow end up on Prog Nation, or something awesome like that. It would be kind of a shame if videos like this one were the only chance fans ever have to see these dudes play some music from Avalanche of Worms:

I have no idea what that song is called, but I’m ready to hear the rest of it now.

We are going to continue to remind you all that Avalanche of Worms comes out 4/20 on Magna Carta pretty much until it’s out. You can pre-order it here.

-AR

Like watch the Rob Zombie-directed episode of CSI: Miami so that I could make fun of it today. But I got distracted by the pile of new shit that arrived at the Mansion steps yesterday, and spent my evening listening to new music – in other words, I actually did something worthwhile.

Luckily CBS is streaming the episode, so I can watch it at my convenience and make fun of it later! Three cheers for technology! And Kubrick thought we’d have commercial space travel by now. What a dope!

The episode isn’t embeddable but you can get to it by clicking on the below screen shot of John 5 in a comedia dell’arte mask. Yep, Zombie’s band is apparently in the episode, playing one of his new songs. And you thought he was directing a CSI episode for the artistic challenge.

Meanwhile, Metal Insider tells me that last night’s episode of Law & Order was a ripped-from-the-headlines story a Juggalo killing his family; the real-life Juggalos apparently have their panties in a twist about it. You can read more about the episode at MI… there doesn’t seem to be a full stream available at NBC as of yet.

-AR

Props to MS reader Ashley for sending in these epic photos of herself in her brand new MetalSucks hoodie. Good thing she wore her hoodie on this wintry Chicago day, because Ashley is obviously “far too metal for real pants” (her words). For literally freezing her ass off in the name of metal, Ashley gets a care package in the mail full of various metal goodies.

Big ups for inclusion of the Uno card. A+++++++++. Well done, Ash!

One more picture after the jump.

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Like I told you all yesterday in our coverage of Devin Townsend’s acoustic show I’m a big fan of acoustic interpretations of songs that weren’t written to be played acoustically.

My latest obsession is an acoustic cover of Katatonia’s “Forsaker” (from 2009′s excellent Night is the New Day) posted by YouTube user broadcast2k9 and sent in by Gordon Albert. I like that this version is an interpretation instead of a straight cover; the building blocks of the song are there, but the orchestration and arrangement have been altered so that in certain places you can’t even recognize the original song. I also dig that instead of the usual dude-with-a-guitar shtick Mr. Broadcast2k9 took the time to record this properly, putting several layers of guitar on top of each other to create a full, dense sound that really matches the mood of the original recording. Well done, sir.

Full-quality mp3 available here for any interested parties.

-VN

Though much lauded by critics, Fear Factory’s Mechanize served mainly to remind me that the bifurcated band — reuniting vocalist Burton Bell and guitarist Dino Cazares with a brand new rhythm section — had neglected to make any real progress from 1995′s Demanufacture. Indeed, fifteen years later, Bell and Cazares appear content to rest on their laurels, assuredly to the delight of many of the band’s nostalgic fans who have long yearned for a so-called “return to form.” And while industrial metal fell out of favor Stateside some time back (not long before nu-metal began to outstay its own welcome here), over in Europe the sound has carried on, if not exactly moved on. Accordingly, many of those originally drawn to industrial music by the breakout sounds of Fear Factory, Ministry, or Nine Inch Nails have long since abandoned the messy scene for more niche subgenres (power noise comes to mind) or other music altogether. This is why, as one who’s all but given up on industrial in recent years, I have quickly come to love Shining‘s Blackjazz.

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Last week the publication of Nick “Son of Gene” Simmons’ comic book, Incarnate, was halted after it became apparent to one of the millions of readers of a manga called Bleach that Simmons was blatantly stealing from that title. At the time we thought that Nicky had taken to Facebook to demand an apology, but it turned out it was just some dude who gets his ya-yas by pretending to be the douche bag kids of famous rock stars.

But now Topless Robot reports that the real Nick Simmons has released a statement, in which he attempts to simultaneously apologize for being a worthless piece of dung and not quite acknowledge that he’s a worthless piece of dung:

“Like most artists I am inspired by work I admire. There are certain similarities between some of my work and the work of others. This was simply meant as an homage to artists I respect, and I definitely want to apologize to any Manga fans or fellow Manga artists who feel I went too far. My inspirations reflect the fact that certain fundamental imagery is common to all Manga. This is the nature of the medium. I am a big fan of Bleach, as well as other Manga titles. And I am certainly sorry if anyone was offended or upset by what they perceive to be the similarity between my work and the work of artists that I admire and who inspire me.” — Nick Simmons

Hey, Nick, don’t sweat it. You were just paying homage to the artists’ whose work you admire! And it was clearly an homage, not plagiarism, right?

Dude, if ever an honest apology was warranted, this is the time. Don’t pretend you didn’t steal when the evidence is right there, schmucky.

Go to Topless Robot for more side-by-side comparisons.

-AR

I’d kill myself, too, if I woke up one day and realized I’d been giving this thing my seed:

-AR

When Byzantine announced a string of three proper “farewell” shows last year to take place in March of 2010, those dates seemed impossibly far away. Suddenly March 2010 is upon us and those three West Virginia shows are this week; an email from self-professed “loyal Suckalo” Rob McGinnis containing a link to an interview with the band made me that much more bummed I can’t attend, especially given the fact that I own property just across the state line in Carter County, KY. But I’ve yet to build my house there and the current cold weather means camping is not an option. Motherfucker.

I recently went back and listened to Byzantine’s swan song, Oblivion Beckons… and it’s lost absolutely none of its muster. That album is just so fucking good all the way through and I stand by it as my pick as the #3 best metal album of 2008.

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I don’t think anyone involved in the making of Kalmah’s new video, for the title track from their forthcoming 12 Gauge, meant for it to be taken seriously – it looks to me like they had no budget and no ideas for how to make a good video with no budget, so they just jumped in the snow and started goofing around. But if they did mean for us to take it seriously, well… hey, at least the song rocks!

12 Gauge is out now on Spinefarm.

-AR

Okay, so in all fairness, this isn’t really the L O S T star’s fault – but I don’t know the name of the graphic designer/marketing genius who did this, so I’m unfairly placing the blame with the dude whose face is on the cover. And if Matthew Fox thinks that’s unfair, I’m sure his millions of dollars and fucking of strippers will ease his pain.

ANYWAY, you’re familiar with the logo for The Haunted, no? In case you somehow are not, here it is:

And are you aware that prior to L O S T (but after Party of Five), Matthew Fox appeared on a television series called Haunted? You’re probably not, since it was cancelled in 2002 after just twelve episodes. But those episodes are coming to DVD, and I just saw the cover art for said collection. Ready? Here it is:

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The road leading to post-experimental-progressive metallers East of the Wall‘s forthcoming Translation Loss full-length Ressentiment has been a long one. The band’s initial incarnation was comprised of four of the five members of The Postman Syndrome, whose debut LP Terraforming was met with critical acclaim but whose 2nd album never saw the light of day. The Postman Syndrome’s members went on to split time in various formations between Biclops and East of the Wall, but within the last couple of months it was announced that those two bands were combining not only members but songs and continuing on just as East of the Wall. Got all that?

Sweet. Because I can’t speak for past East of the Wall lineups, but the current Biclops/EotW hybrid completely knocked my socks off last Monday at NYC’s Lit Lounge. The band tore through three songs before the NYU hipster brigade rolled in at 11:30 to shake their booties to bad ’80s-imitation dance music, but those three songs (which are at least twice the length of most bands’ songs) impressed the fucking bajesus out of me! What I’ve heard of Ressentiment so far had impressed me, but having seen the band live brings my anticipation of the album to a whole new level.

Back to The Postman Syndrome. The aforementioned unreleased 2nd album will finally see the light of day as God Relieve Our Grief: A Mausoleum Of Stillborn Demos, which the band is releasing entirely themselves, smartly timed to coincide with East of the Wall’s pending album release. Since it’s a DIY operation everything is being done on the cheap, which means that they’re able to offer fans a super-awesome package for a relatively small chunk of change:

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The video for The Dillinger Escape Plan’s “Farewell, Mona Lisa” just debuted on Justin.tv,  and while the image quality, at least on my computer, isn’t that hot, what I can see looks pretty cool. And the fact that the song is so awesome – especially the kind of melancholic, epic second section – means that they could probably have just posted footage of Greg Puciato taking a crap and I would’ve been happy.

“Farewell, Mona Lisa” will be on Option Paralysis, which comes out March 23 on Party Smasher/Season of Mist.

-AR

Season 1, Episode 1 “The Curse of Dethklok”

In what will be a continuing feature of this column, I am going to watch episodes of Metalocalypse and analyze any of the issues that come up.  Some episodes have more issues than others, so I might not get through all of the issues in an episode in a given post.  Really, I just want to be able to say that watching Metalocalypse is productive work for me.

In the first episode, Dethklok requires that fans sign “pain waivers” to release the band from liability at the Duncan Hills Coffee Jingle Batsfjord MassacreFest.  Obviously thinking ahead of what can and will happen at their shows, it seems like a good plan for Dethklok, as the show results in fans being crushed, burned, dissolved, or otherwise maimed or killed.  But could a waiver really allow Dethklok to escape liability for the deaths of hundreds of fans?
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Last month Periphery replaced singer Chris Baretto with new guy Spencer Sotelo while Periphery-soundalikes Haunted Shores took on Baretto to fill their vacant singer slot. While Haunted Shores countered almost immediately with a new Baretto-sung track, Periphery had yet to show off Sotelo’s pipes… until now.

Periphery just posted a new version of their song “Light” featuring Sotelo’s vocals; the song had previously been available with Baretto. There’s also an album teaser featuring clips from various songs with Sotelo’s vocals on them. I don’t have Baretto’s version of “Light” on hand anywhere to cross-reference, but from memory I’d have to say that the new guy sounds a helluva lot like the old guy; he sounds damn good. But the ultimate test will be in the live setting — can Sotelo nail these notes on stage, and can he match Baretto’s energy? The last we’d want is a Scar Symmetry-like fiasco to unfold. I guess we’ll find out when Periphery open for Fear Factory on an otherwise yawn-worthy bill this Spring.

-VN

Thanks to Kris Flynn for the tip. Photo credit: David J. Reigada