Haterade

DR. ACULA HAVE ESTABLISHED THEMSELVES AS SAD TIMES

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YES! It’s finally here! Dr. Acula have FINALLY debuted a new song, “Show Stopper,” on Noisecreep, and vocalist Tyler Guida has given that site an interview to go along with the song stream. I’M SO FUCKING EXCITED I JUST CAME A LITTLE! Here’s a fun little excerpt from said interview:

“For years now, Dr. Acula have been on a mission to supply what is a generally darker genre of music with a fun, more home-based outlook,” Guida told Noisecreep. “Using the things they deal with on a daily basis as fuel to their chaotic sound has established them as a renowned ‘party’ band, good times, hard times, drunk times, high times and so on. They cover it all on their upcoming album ‘The Social Event of the Century.'”

Also (emphasis mine):

Guida continued, “With the release of the new album fans and haters alike will see a new finely tuned version of the Dr. Acula they know, hitting harder than ever before, while still keeping the heavy rock ‘n’ roll influence. They will be hitting the road hard for the coming months after the release.”

A few quick thoughts:

  1. No, please, speak in the third person. That’s not irritating or anything.
  2. What the fuck is a “home-based outlook?” That sounds like something a politician would say, like “Main Street versus Wall Street.”
  3. Why is a “home-based outlook” necessarily more “fun?” What if you come from a home where your dad liked to stick his wiener in your mouth?
  4. This is not an English sentence: “Using the things they deal with on a daily basis as fuel to their chaotic sound has established them as a renowned ‘party’ band, good times, hard times, drunk times, high times and so on.” It sounds like you’re saying the band has been established as a party band AND has been established as good times AND has been established as hard times and so on and so forth. Maybe if you spent less time speaking in the third person and more time just learning to speak, you’d know that.
  5. Also, I think you meant to put “party band” in quotes, not just the word “party.” The way you said it, it sounds like the band plays so-called “parties,” e.g., gatherings that are about as fun as a Dr. Acula concert.
  6. We get it. You like to hit hard. I bet you like to work hard  and party hard, too.
  7. A “new finely tuned version of the Dr. Acula” I know would be a broken-up Dr. Acula.

In conclusion, I hope Dr. Acula and Zach Braff are very happy together.

If you hate your ears, make them listen to this drek here.

-AR

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