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Reviews, Scraping Genius Off The Wheel

MORE LIKE DASTARDS AND MALINGERERS WILL BURN

 Thursday, April 22nd, 2010 at 2:30pm by

Even though Justin Foley has provided this site with invaluable contributions — from praising the awesome power of the “taco riff” to ruminating on the satanic majesty of Joe Lieberman — I’m afraid that my conscience compels me to call his band out. Simply, The Austerity Program are spineless cowards, as their latest release Backsliders and Apostates Will Burn proves. How can I make such a possibly defamatory claim, you ask? Let me explain. In 2008, Messieur Foley and unsettlingly photogenic bassist Thad Calabrese released the greatest noise rock album of the 21st century (to date), a snarling Shellackian opus with the oblique title Black Madonna. When I met the band members for this first time last year at a Hydra Head showcase, they looked at me from their lofty perch behind the merch table as if I were some sort of coprophile as I loquaciously expressed my passion for that record. Now, I understand why.

Motherfuckers are afraid to follow that full-length debut up with anything more than piss dribbles — a brilliant single here, a scarce EP there. So fearful are The Austerity Program of the dreaded “sophomore slump” that they have gone out of their way to avoid recording anything longer than twenty minutes. Indeed, the quivering jellyfish behind Backsliders and Apostates Will Burn can’t be arsed to even reach that mark. Just four songs long, this EP continues its predecessor’s slothful practice of naming each song with the number assigned to it by the drum machine. What the hell, man?!

I’d be even more furious about all this if these weren’t such outstanding tracks.

(5 out of 5 horns)

-GS

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  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jayson-Shenk/737290767 Jayson Shenk

    Bastards

  • Discipleofthewatch

    I wonder what a coprophile is. Guess I’ll have to consult the dictionary.

    Bastards!

    • Discipleofthewatch

      Ok, dictionary.com says no results found. Way to make up a word, Gary. It does suggest coprophiliac, one who is obsessed with faces.

      • Genial Gentile

        That would be FECES my dear.

        • Discipleofthewatch

          Oh, true! I checked again and indeed, feces. I must have misread it as “faces.” I guess I’d rather be obsessed with faces if those were the only two options of things to be obsessed with.

  • Alex_P

    Yeah, this is excellent. On principle, I don’t give anything a perfect grade. Still, I can’t disagree with anything except the “perfect” part.

  • http://www.roxwel.com Pick-Axe Bobby

    1) Awesome.
    2) Is this out yet?
    3) If so (working under the assumption that Justin reads this), did the band go through with all (any) of the format options that were so earnestly discussed and decided upon?

    http://www.metalsucks.net/2010/01/20/the-austerity-programs-justin-foley-on-the-format-wars-part-deux-taps-new-ep-and-pat-robertson/

    • http://www.roxwel.com Pick-Axe Bobby

      I suppose if I actually bothered to look, it says about 20 times on their Myspace page that it’s out 5/4.

      • The Ghost of D. Boon

        1)Yes
        2)No
        3)Yes

  • pawtucket FILLL

    Anyone remember what the deal was when these guys had some horrible beef with Hydra Head? I remember buying their first EP or mini album or whatever, like, back in 2001 or something, and then finding them on the internet and there was some lengthy diatribe about what giant cocksuckers everyone at Hydra Head were… and then all of it seemingly went away, as they’re back on that label. All I remember was thinking, wow, your music isn’t nearly good enough to warrant any shit-talking. Maybe them’s was just jokes. I haven’t been even remotely interested enough to listen to anything else by them after that, as that first cd was pretty fucking boring.

    • pawtucket FILLL

      oh.. now that i’m a grownup that understands Google I already got to the bottom of this. it was 2003, and it was a phony press release they made about suing hydrahead for patent infringement. way to go guys, you confused and irritated my younger self.

  • asstaster

    The song about bugs bunny is just fucking stupid. And I laugh heartily at the Bobby Brady voice-changing vocals in the song before it. Rifuckingdiculous