Because MS Suckalo Mykee Shaffer sent us a link to a Cracked blog by Daniel O’Brien. In the article, Mr. O’Brien attempts to help ICP clear up some of their confusion about “miracles” by offering them a new text book to study  -Learn Your Fuckin’ Science with the Insane Clown Posse, which was apparently authored by Fuck Scientists:

I’ve created a juggalo-friendly textbook, taking into account the song’s claim that they “don’t wanna talk to a scientist,” who they consider to be a “lying motherfucker” intent on “getting [them] pissed.” To that end, every lesson will be directly based on actual ICP lyrics, and every page will be packed with in-your-face juggalo clown-rage. Or, the best clown-rage I can muster.

I used to read O’Brien on a regular basis, but then something got all fucked up with my RSS feed and now I basically never remember to check him out. But everything he writes is gold. GOLD, I TELL YOU! I mean, just check out this little sample:

Click to read more…

The Finns in Kiuas are quickly becoming my new favorites in the burgeoning Epic Metal micro-genre. If clenching your fist and raising it to the sky in a display of power and triumph is something you enjoy doing while listening to metal, I highly recommend Kiuas’ new record Lustdriven which came out a couple of weeks ago. It’s epic. It’s big. It’s powerful. It’s just the right amount of cheesy, which is a hard balance to strike.

Kiuas just released a video for the track “Of Lust, Love and Human Nature.” As the title portends, it’s dark, gothy and full of cliche, just the way we like it. It’s also got a naked chick in a bathtub with plenty of side-boob and a couple of brief shots of nipple at the end. What else could you ask for in an Epic Metal video?

-VN

The KSE saga takes another turn! Actually, the information in the headline is all we can tell you right now. HoJo is doing four shows with the band in May. There’s been no official word on what the heck has been going on these past few months… but at least it looks as though Howard is still in the band.

Dates for the new shows are as follows:

Click to read more…

I hear people talk about Slayer’s Kerry King in tones that suggest that he is, like, commonly viewed as arrogant or something. And now you can tell by my tone that King rules, and that those who disagree can shampoo my crotch anytime on weekdays between the hours of noon and six. For one thing, you never hear is how King’s kick-assosity is contagious; this year, after our Golden Gods Blarpet mini-interview, I was so pumped up that I wanted to slap Jim Florentine and french Kat Von D in one motion. (After last year’s ceremony, I almost punched a hot dog vendor and licked Chuck Billy’s arm.) King is that type of guy, and once you realize this, you can see how Slayer grew into one of history’s greatest bands: good leadership.

After the jump, King and Slayer drummer Dave Lombardo and I chat about the American Carnage tour, Exodus, and meddling producers. Though to tell the truth, I don’t really feel like sharing it in light of the paltry number of comments on yesterday’s hard-hitting Deftones coverage. I guess your mother and I just expected better of you.

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The new video for Zoroaster’s “White Dwarf,” which just had its premiere on Brooklyn Vegan, isn’t necessarily the greatest thing I’ve ever seen, but there are three aspects of it which I really appreciate:

1. It was clearly meant to be watched while stoned.
2. It pokes fun at the current 3D trend.
3. Brent Hinds being Brent Hinds.

By the way, who else has played God of War III? If they make a movie version of that franchise, don’t you think that they should TOTALLY cast Hinds as Zeus? Totally.

-AR

In 1985 the Texas quartet WatchTower released Energetic Disassembly and in 1989 they released Control and Resistance, inspiring hundreds of bands to follow their blueprint for technical metal. Twenty one years after the release of the latter, WatchTower have returned with new music and they sound just as vital as ever.

I was too young to appreciate or even know about WatchTower during their first go-round, but listening to new track “The Size of Matter” as well as some of the band’s older material on their MySpace page it’s immediately obvious how directly influential this band was on so many of the great prog metal bands of the last two decades. I don’t think it’s a stretch at all to say that without WatchTower bands like Cynic, Atheist, Dream Theater and Meshuggah would be very different from the bands they are today. They might not even exist.

“The Size of Matter” comes from Mathematics, an in-progress album still without a label or release date.

-VN

Thanks: Christopher P.

Bison B.C., “Dark Ages”
Much to my delight, Canada’s up-and-coming metal sensations have returned with this mature follow up to 2008′s outstanding Quiet Earth LP. Spending a fair share of the past two years touring behind that release, the young men of Bison experienced a tremendous amount of attention and praise from aficionados of the genre. That they’ve produced an album that surpasses their prior one while not departing tremendously from its style is commendable. Simply put, Bison have gotten even better at what they do, with vastly more memorable bits than before. The riffs are as thick and crunchy as ever, and the unit benefits from the tightness achieved during the intervening years. These seven sustained metal jams–the shortest over five minutes long–maintain interest by interweaving thrash, stoner metal, and punk elements. Opener “Sleeping Elephant” twists and grinds with soaring animism and epic grandiosity, while “Fear Cave” slogs valiantly through viscous low-end and sludge. “Two Day Booze” evinces a newfound accessibility (particularly in the vocals) that suggests Bison wont be playing twenty-minute opening sets for much longer.

(4 out of 5 horns)

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There’s something about old school brutal-style DM that I just love; it instantly gets my blood pumping and my head banging. So while I know that there are plenty of other bands that do what Jungle Rot do, I just can’t help it… I’m a sucker for this stuff. “Worst Case Scenario” comes from their 2009 album What Horrors Await, released on that bastion of DM Napalm Records. The clip was directed by Jason Meudt and Emmet Austin of Vision4Films.

-VN

[This exclusive has now ended.]

Metal Injection has debuted the video for Periphery’s “Icarus Lives!”, and and directors McFarland & Pecci deserve a pat on the back. I’m assuming this was relatively inexpensive to make, but it’s a new spin on the basic performance footage-type thing we’ve all seen a million times before. That the song rocks doesn’t hurt, either.

“Icarus Lives” comes offa Periphery’s self-titled Sumerian debut, which comes out on 4/20.

-AR

And she is Japanese and wears knee-high socks.

Apologies to the MS Maniac who sent this in — I can’t find your email, but you know who you are.

It gets awesome around the 1:55 mark, but this chick smokes through and through. Even her rhythm playing is tasty.

-VN

This past August, former Faith No More vocalist Chuck Mosley claimed that the band had invited him to participate in at least one of their European reunion shows, but that he couldn’t partake because “my passport expired and I couldn’t get it in time.” This was part of the same interview in which that he asserted that that firing Jim Martin “was as big if not bigger a mistake than getting rid of me” because without Martin (who Mosley said was “the personality” of the band), “That Jagger/Richards, Plant/Page thing was gone.” My point being that once you’ve argued that the Great Pumpkin is really real, you lose all credibility, and I was never really sure that Mosley had been invited to participate in any FNM reunion.

Well, a bag of crow I doth eateth, ’cause Mosley hopped on-stage with the band last night in San Francisco for a rendition of the group’s classic song “We Care a Lot.” [And some others, as it turns out. -Ed.] Unfortunately, his voice sounded like shit, he managed to muster all the excitement of Gene Hoglan being told he has to eat a salad, the song was not done as a duet with Mike Patton [Although "Introduce Yourself" was. - Ed.], and poor Chucky had to stoop to sharing the stage with Jon Hudson, Martin’s replacement that less than a year ago Mosley claimed he couldn’t even name.

The FNM dudes are mensches for having Mosley on-stage, but when they come to NYC this summer, I seriously hope they leave Mosley in SF. ‘Cause as much as I like this song, I always thought it sounded better with Mike Patton. The way pretty much everything sounds better with Mike Patton.

-AR

[via Rib]

UPDATE: Metal Insider is now streaming the full song. It sounds like a Zakk Wylde-era song with fewer guitar squeals. Give it a listen here.

So for weeks the Ozzy camp has been making a big deal out of the fact that the Ozman’s new single, “Let Me Hear You Scream,” was going to debut on an episode of one of the various CSI programs; the show aired last night, aaaannnndddd… THE FUCKING SONG PLAYED DURING A PRISON RIOT SCENE, making it impossible to give a proper listen. In other words, if you tuned in and you’re not a CSI fan, you pretty much got screwed.

I don’t know why I’m surprised; heaven forbid that Ozzy do anything even remotely cool in the 21st century, right? And yet, I can’t help but be angry. Fuck, I didn’t even watch the show live last night (I knew it would surface on the net within hours) and I’m pissed. Let us hear the song, or don’t promote the episode as a chance to hear the song. It’s not complicated. Just don’t be a corporate dill hole for ten seconds. Jesus.

Anyway, here’s the clip from the show in which Gus G.’s guitar player was deemed less important than one of the dudes from L O S T shouting some nonsense. Watch it before Les Moonves’ lawyers yank it down. The consolation prize is that what I can hear isn’t all that impressive.

And hopefully the actual song will surface soon enough.

Scream, Ozzy’s latest, will be out June 15 on Epic.

-AR

Last night, it only took a second to figure out that Peter Steele was really important to me. That much was evident once KNAC confirmed rumors of Steele’s death of heart failure. The next ten minutes must’ve been alarming to my neighbors as I stomped around, loudly cursing the fact that I’ve never spoken to Steele about his music. I’ve never even fucking seen Type O Negative in concert. I love that goddamn band. And Steele was its soul and voice.

After the tantrum, resignation set in and I stared at a wall, trying to figure out where I went wrong. In no mood for self-deception, I explained to um myself that being a lazy cheapskate is an easy lifestyle, but not one that leads to rewarding experiences. I should’ve been at those shows. I realize this now. But it’s too late and now Type O Negative as we know it is over. Peter’s parting gift to me is the knowledge that I suck.

Click to read more…

Journal entry, twelve years ago:

“Today I am sad. It hurts to be human. The walls are closing in on my peace and I go deeper into a sadness all too familiar. The tears from my formative years when I would cry incessantly because of psychic pain have arisen again. A resurgence of that old pain is in my body like a parasite I can’t control. I’m a suffering child. The human experience can be very trying and today I am tested. Today I am broken. All hope is lost. I am exhausted. Where does my fervor for life come from?”

…after that journal entry, I wrote this poem:

Cactus
Black bones in me
Corroding everything
They’re floating free in my eyes
You say I’m losing my sight
Don’t rescue me
I don’t plan on getting out
I’ve lost the key
Hug me I’m a cactus

I was on the edge that day.

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Back in January, System of a Down bassist Shavo Odajian caused quite a stir when he seemed to suggested that metal’s most famous Armenian American band was finally reuniting after a hiatus of what seemed like for-ever. Then, the next day, he basically sent out another tweet taking it back, and vocalist Serj Tankian finally stated that  ”we have not decided to do anything as of yet,” and that the band would continue their “indefinite hiatus.”

I was hoping that this was just Serj trying to throw fans off the scent – we’ve seen a lot of musicians deny reunion rumors right before the official announcement – but I guess not, ’cause Scars on Broadway, the SOAD side-project that only I liked, are getting back together for a show in May.

Click to read more…

So I interviewed Brian Posehn about his new album, Fart and Wiener Jokes, last week, and one of the things I asked him was whether or not there were any new (not nu) metal bands he enjoyed. I thought the dude responsible for “Metal By Numbers” would be a cranky old man who didn’t like anything recorded any later than rougly 1990 or so, but I was wrong – Posehn likes plenty of younger bands.

One band that he cited is Icarus Witch, who he praised simply for “trying the traditional metal thing.” Well, these metal traditionalists have just announced via MySpace that they have a new singer:

Click to read more…

Since an instrumental version of the title track of  Nevermore’s upcoming album The Obsidian Conspiracy leaked a couple weeks back, we decided we’d have some fun with it. So we’re hosting a contest: record your own vocals with your own lyrics, using the leaked instrumental version as a backing track, and upload the results to YouTube (no video element is necessary, though it’s encouraged). The winner will be selected by Axl and Vince and flown to a Nevermore show, all expenses paid, to perform their version of the song live with the band. Holy shit, really? Yup.

The rules:

• Download the instrumental backing track here (.zip)
• Write your own lyrics and record your own version of the song.
• Post your version as a video response to the above YouTube contest video (also available here)
• Contest is open to residents of the U.S., Canada and anywhere in Europe.
• Contestants must be 21 years of age or older. 18 years of age or older!
• Grand prize winner will be flown to a Nevermore show, date and location TBA, to perform the song live with the band.
• Five runners up will receive a Century Media / Nevermore prize pack.
• Entries will be closed at 11:59pm EDT on April 30th, 2010 and winners announced shortly thereafter on MetalSucks.

The Obsidian Conspiracy doesn’t come out until June 8th in North America and May 31st in Europe.

Now… go! Make Warrel Dane proud.

Poor Vince. We’ve waited all these years to see Faith No More live, and he’s gonna be out of town when they finally make it to New York. But look! Now they’ve announced more dates! One more in NYC and one in Philly! So Vince can finally… wait, what’s that? All three dates are for the same weekend? Oh. Never mind.

Poor, poor Vince. Pity him.

ANYWAY, while it’s great that the band has announced new dates, the way they did it is kinda back-asswards: they played a show at the Warfield in San Francisco on Monday night, and the t-shirts had the new dates on the back, even though the band had yet to announce such dates. Billy Gould subsequently confirmed the dates via Twitter, but that was really silly ’cause, y’know. It was on the shirts so obviously the dates were confirmed.

But, hey. It’s not like FNM have ever really been traditionalists, y’know?

All the upcoming Faith No More U.S. dates after el jumperooni:

Click to read more…

Back in February, Arch Enemy front lady and Revolver “Hottest Chicks in Metal” alum took that magazine to task for even having such an issue; now, on the heels of last week’s Revolver Golden God Awards, our friend and self-proclaimed “hot piece who loves metal,” Stabitha Christie, has written a lengthy editorial for Metal Insider in which she scolds the publication for their treatment of the ladies at the ceremony. Here are some highlights:

“The awards themselves… ghettoize women… it’s hard to feel like you’re invited to the party when the only female recipient of any non-Hottest Chick award in its two year history went to Kat Von D, whose contributions to metal are limited to her love of it and the ink featured on many dudes in metal bands… Being sexualized is part of the human condition, but no one should feel like that’s all they are, especially when they’re already a minority in a community.”

Click to read more…

The past, present and future best band on the planet are currently working on a new album, according to the March Newsletter post on their official website. As with any post on Tool’s hilariously out-of-date website there’s a ton of abstract writing that has little to do with anything, but there are a couple of tid-bits you oughtta know:

• The three instrumental members of Tool are currently working on writing new material while Maynard finishes up touring with Puscifer.
• There is the possibility that the band will do two mini-tours this Summer, one each of the West and East coasts.

Tool’s last album, 10,000 Days, came out almost exactly 4 years ago. Lateralus before it came out in 2001, a 5-year gap. Tool are notoriously slow writers and recorders, but if all goes well we could have a new Tool album around this time next year. Let’s hope!

-VN

Thanks: L Regli