Yesterday I walked by Gramercy Park for the first time in a long while. For those not familiar, Gramercy Park is an NYC park — duh — that takes up a small city block. It’s right in the center of the very prestigious Gramercy neighborhood where a lot of celebrities live (like Mike Piazza!! omgz!!!) and is lined by some of the oldest, best-kept, most-beautifullest brownstone houses in the city. But here’s the thing; it’s private. Only the very rich folks who live on the blocks adjacent to the park have the key to get inside of it. I’ve lived in this city for a long while and have never been beyond those wrought iron gates, let alone even know anyone who has. Some day when MetalSucks overtakes Gawker as the most ridiculous blog on the Interwebs maybe Mayor Mike will take us on a tour.

Anyway, this all reminded me of the song “The Key to Gramercy Park” by Deadsy, the band fronted by the son of Cher and Gregg Allman, Elijah Blue Allman (stagename: P. Exeter Blue I). When this video came out I kinda liked the song, but recognized (as did most everyone else) that the band’s nu-metal flavor made them a bit behind the times. For chrissakes Jonathan Davis lent his vocals to the song and Fred fucking Durst directed the video. But watching it now, I can’t help but think Deadsy were actually ahead of the times in some ways — those new-wavey synth sounds? Dude, those things would make the entirety of Bedford Avenue splooge their pants these days. And the medical zombie shtick is so Williamsburg. It’s funny how trends evolve.

I wonder if Mr. Blue ever actually did go inside Gramercy Park?

-VN

You may not have been following the Jesse James-Sandra Bullock saga, so lemme tell ya, it’s like the Tiger Woods cheating scandal on meth. Not to slight Woods, but his Ambien sex with porn chicks/hot sluts thing seems quaint next to James’ carnival of grotesquerie, which allegedly includes sex with a wackjob who dabbles in Nazism and occasional dudebanging. I mean dang! That’s like a David Lynch thriller (lots of terrifying sex) to Tiger’s season premiere of Entourage (lots of douche sex). Plus, James’ wife Sandra Bullock is at the high point of her career after finally not being annoying as fuck in a movie and getting an Oscar for it; what a perfectly timed buzzkill. He probably should sugar her gas tank while he’s at it. Actually, I better shadow Bullock for a few weeks in case she gets horny for crazy revenge sex um drops her purse uh needs friendship and support in this tough time.

If this wild serial cheating/pseudo-sex addiction pattern holds, the next scandal is gonna be nutso. I wonder who’s next. Is it gonna turn out that Johnny Depp likes to put on a Smurf costume and rape mailboxes? Will we wake up one day to the internet splashed with explicit photos of Ronnie James Dio with Rhea Perlman? Are the members of Faith No More going to publicize that I’m responsible for the outbreak of shoe-fuckings that plagued their European tour? Is Ratt spelled with two Ts because those guys are likely to fuck your girl’s TTs, or if I may, her titties? What else is happening right under our noses?

One thing that’s no secret is that the new Ratt record is awesome. That last sentence is sub-Leno, sorry, but Infestation‘s awesomeness is a fact nonetheless: I just said so and MS mega-stud Vince Neilstein concurs again and again. And again. And one more time here. Oh and in the following text messages:

Click to read more…

Boy oh boy, do we have a treat for you today, kiddies: a stream of As Yggdrasil Trembles, the tenth studio album from Swedish death metal masters Unleashed, in its entirety. That’s right: Nuclear Blast won’t release the album ’til this Tuesday, April 6, but you can hear it right here, right now. It all the crushing, ripping brutality you’ve come to expect from Unleashed so turn your speakers way the fuck up and crank that shit! And once you’ve decided you’re in love with, go here to pre-order a copy!

And now, without further chit-chat, enjoy Unleashed’s As Yggdrasil Trembles…

[this promotion has ended]

We’ve been rough on Courtney Love here, perhaps more than is really fair. I attribute that to the perverse temptation to comment on her continuing tabloid antics. Love’s decision last year to reboot Hole without co-founder Eric Erlandson — or any other prior collaborator — really stuck in my craw, and my initial reaction to the first single “Skinny Little Bitch” was pretty unfavorable. But now that I’ve had some more time with that track and a brand new one premiered this week, I’m questioning my prior stance on the forthcoming Nobody’s Daughter LP.

Yes, I know that many of you are so completely close-minded (shocker!) about Courtney Love and Hole that the very suggestion that she might pull this one off will send you directly to the comments box in apoplectic frothing fits. But, like it or not, Hole had — and has – its fair share of fans, from the early noise rock days of Pretty On The Inside to the riot grrl grunge of Live Through This to the polished alt-rock of Celebrity Skin — and like it or not, I’m one of those fans.

Click to read more…

I know what you’re thinking: Taproot were never the most forward thinking band anyway. And you’d be right. But I rather enjoyed 2002′s Welcome and 2005′s Blue Sky Research because both albums pushed the bands sound forward into areas they’d never been before, dropped the nu-metal leanings and displayed a knack for really solid songwriting. 2008′s Our Long Road Home lacked the polish and rounded edges either of those two albums had; seems that without the major label budget and team of songwriters the band couldn’t come up with something quite as good.

So then Victory Records signed Taproot. I was a bit puzzled by that one too. But for the band that move represents a much bigger support system for recording and distributing their new album, if also an entry into the world of extremely shady business practices. Their new album Plead the Fifth will come out on May 11th, and the new single “Fractured (Everything I Said Was True)” is streamable below. And it’s really kind of meh. It’s an ok Taproot song in that it’s got Richards’ distinct vocals… but otherwise it’s just so generic. Looks like Victory and Taproot are going the rock radio route, which I guess makes sense from a business standpoint but really doesn’t do anything for the band artistically. Oh well.

-VN

It was just yesterday that I couldn’t get Jesse Leach to comment on the Killswitch Engage singer situation. And now, after weeks and weeks of speculation, KSE have just released a statement, officially announcing Howard Jones’ departure from the band “due to personal reasons.” No further details are given.

That’s a bummer, but given all the recent rumors of Jones’ permanent departure, it’s not exactly shocking news. What is shocking is that the band has chosen not to bring original front man Jesse Leach back into the fold, or even Phil LaBonte, who covered for Jones on KSE’s most recent tour. So guess who got the gig instead?

FORMER DIVINE HERESY/SNOT VOCALIST TOMMY VEXT.

Yes… we’re as surprised as you are.

Read the complete statement from Tommy and KSE after the jump…

Click to read more…

So Rocklahoma, the once cock-rockalicious festival, may be a wash this year, but it seems that there’s already a new fest to grab ahold of the Aquanet and let us relive our youth gone wile: Rock N America, which take place from July 23 to July 25 in – get this – Oklahoma. Huh.

The line-up basically plays like a who’s who of who shoulda been playing Rocklahoma this year: Scorpions, Twisted Sister, Ratt, Warrant, Dokken, Great White, Enuff Z’Nuff, Bullet Boys, Faster Pussycat, and the Tracii Guns/Jizzy Pearl version of L.A. Guns are all the bill. More bands will be announced soon; in my imagination that will include whatever is passing for Skid Row these days, Vince Neil, Adler’s Appetite, Beautiful Creatures and/or Bang Tango, and the other version of L.A. Guns. But who knows.

It is worth noting that the fest will take place at the Zoo Amphitheatre, which a) has a smaller capacity than the giant open fields of Rocklahoma and b) isn’t just a cool name from some venue, but, rather, is called the “Zoo Amphitheatre” because it’s actually at the fucking zoo. So unless it’s always been Chip Z’Nuff’s dream to play for a crowd of zebras, this isn’t going to be quite the event that Rocklahoma was for these bands.

Still, you should visit the Rock N America website, even if you’re not really interested in attending the show, because, well, it’s like the shittiest website of 1994 and is consequently pretty hilarious.

-AR

[via Bring Back Glam]

Hey people, remember that IRON MAIDEN are touring the U.S. this Summer!? Yeah, I kinda forgot for a minute there too. Amidst all sorts of shitty festival tours hitting the pavement thank God we’ve got something to look forward to. At 52 Bruce Dickinson is 10x the frontmen of all of his contemporaries let alone anyone in modern metal. Side note: will there ever be another metal band big enough to play arenas? Worth thinking about.

The magical qualities of Bruce-Bruce aren’t lost on our Be-she-moths over at Reign in Blonde, who posted a video of Team Joddski covering “Run to the Hills” at a Finnish Norwegian choir competition. The level of dorkery rivals that of the a cappella concerts I saw in college, but I can’t recall ever seeing anything this epic.

-VN

Crashdiet are one of those bands I’m constantly reading about on Blabbermouth, but have never actually heard. Unlike Kamelot, I couldn’t tell just from their name what genre they were, although I guessed hair metal, for no better reason than Guns N’ Roses have a kinda-sorta well-known unreleased track called “Crash Diet.” (Note: it has just come to my attention that this band also has an umlaut in their name. Obviously, if I had known that at the time, it would have been a dead giveaway.)

And now the band has released a new video for their song “Generation Wild,” and, hey, lookit that, they are, indeed, hair metal. Swell.

I think that’s a terrible song, but it makes me sad that the video is more competent than half the crap we’ve seen better bands put out this year.

On the upside, apparently Mick Mars plays on these dude(ttes?)’s album, so, y’know, at least they have some glam cred.

-AR

Yes, I know it’s wrong to pass judgment on a minute and a half of music, and not even music heard the way it should be heard, but, rather, with the dude from Jade talking all over it and shit. But the below commercial for CSI: Eat Me does feature some of Ozzy Osbourne’s new song, “Scream,” including most or all of the chorus, and… I’m ready to predict that the song will suck. Maybe I’ll hafta eat a bag of crow on this one, but what’s here doesn’t exactly have me jonesin’ to hear more.

Also, I have no idea who wrote this song, but I heard at least one guitar squeal. I know that’s not Zakk playing, bbbbbuuutttt… since Gus G. apparently joined the band kinda late in the process, I wonder if he got to do any songwriting, or if he was basically just a session player.

Anyways, I guess we can pass final judgment when this CSI episode airs on April 14. You won’t actually have to watch, as it’s 2010 and the song will be all over the net within hours if not minutes of its television debut, but if you do choose to tune-in, at least Harold Perrineau from L O S T is a guest star.

-AR

[via Blabbermouth]