It’s Memorial Day weekend! If you’re American, you know what that means. If not, I’ll explain it to you: no one will be working Monday (including us!), Hollywood will make a lot of money off of some really atrocious movies (in this case, one about menopausal bitches who are still way too worried about their vaginas and not worried enough about having any awareness of the world around them, and a Disney movie about Persians with absolutely no Persian or even vaguely Persian-looking cast members), and there will be lots of barbecues and drinking and smoking weed. Which is different from most American weekends ’cause it’s longer, and there’s more barbecuing.

But before we take off for the next 72 hours, we’d like to take this opportunity to address some of the more fatuous reader complaints we’ve gotten via e-mail recently . So:

• At least two of you demanded that we take down the “R.I.P. Paul Gray” header and replace it with last week’s “R.I.P. Ronnie James Dio” header. One of you called it “embarrassing” that we “dumped” Dio, and one of you said that you “expected more” from us than to “disrespect” Dio and “overshadow” his passing “with the death of some druggy.” This is incredibly insensitive, and we’d like to take this opportunity to remind you that a) death is not a competition, but still b) more people will attend Paul Gray’s funeral than will attend yours.
• No fewer than twenty of you e-mailed us to ask why we haven’t written about the Westboro Baptist Church’s plan to protest Dio’s public memorial service this Sunday. And we have written about it. The headline was “Nutcases to Protest Dio’s Funeral.” Maybe you just started reading MetalSucks this past Monday (the article was published last Friday), or maybe you thought there were some other nutcases protesting Dio’s funeral, but, nope. That’s what that story was about.
• A musician, upset that Vince implied that his band wasn’t exactly setting the metal world ablaze, e-mailed me but not Vince and told me to – and this is an exact quote – “lick our sack dog dick.” To which I’d like to say, a) you should please look at the byline when deciding where to direct your vitriol, and b) what the fuck is a “sack dog dick?”
• A publicist is really, really upset that we won’t go to a hip-hop show this weekend. This publicist has obviously never actually looked at our site. That being the case, I think I can safely say “Fuck you and the horse you rode in on, Publicist, I hope you get a yeast infection!”, since she’ll never actually read this.
• One of you seems confused as to why I haven’t been fired. Just to clear it up: Vince and I co-own MetalSucks. We can’t be fired. Sorry.

Next week we have two album streams and a video debut, and hopefully no prominent members of our community will die. ‘Til then, have a lovely weekend, and we’ll be back on Tuesday.

-AR

*Compassionate Discrimination

*Compassionate Discrimination: Having astute judgment without being scornfully judgmental; seeing difficult truths about a situation or person without closing your heart or feeling superior. In the words of Alan Jones: having the ability “to smell a rat without allowing your ability to discern deception sour your vision of the glory and joy that is everyone’s birthright.” —from “The Outlaw Catalog of Cagey Optimism” in Rob Brezsny’s book, Pronoia Is the Antidote for Paranoia.

When I was younger, I would easily become attached to people when I first met them, especially if I felt we had a connection—and I would often cry when I had to say good-bye to someone I felt connected to. I still occasionally cry when I’m saying bye to a friend I may not be seeing again for an indefinite period of time. The good-byes are encapsulated mini-deaths that force me to let go. Perhaps the attachment stems from a childhood of constant renewal, instability, and change. It’s the kid in me wanting to hold on for just one more minute because back then, I never could. Eventually, I learned that friendships change and evolve in their own unique way.

I’ve been thinking about what it means to have friends, what it means to be one—and how we often think that we’ll know our friends for a lifetime, or that they’ll always be around. The truth is, like everything in life, our closest friendships are always changing and growing, and may eventually end. Some friendships will grow apart and other people I never felt close to may someday grow near.

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To celebrate the release of Sick of it All’s awesome new album, Based on a True Story, we asked SOIA vocalist Lou Koller to compile the definitive list of quintessential hardcore albums. Luckily for us and all of you, he agreed! So we’ll be running one entry a day from Lou’s list of the top-ten (+1) hardcore records of all time for the next couple of weeks. You can catch up on previous installments here; the sixth one is after the jump…

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The excellent metal blog No Clean Singing — which I, and you, really ought to pay more attention — posted two songs with the expressed intent of scrambling your brain. When I think “brain scrambling” my mind immediately turns to death metal, and thankfully NCS scribe Islander’s does too.

A double shot of new death metal — with mp3s — after the jump!

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Like so many grind bands, Gridlink (a.k.a. “Another awesome grind band with ex-Discordance Axis vocalist Jon Chang”) make really, really short songs. Their first album, Amber Gray, was eleven tracks in something like twelve minutes; that was two years ago already. I don’t mean to understate the amount of work that goes into making twelve minutes of music, let alone twelve minutes of excellent music, or in any way suggest that these are Triple A riffs which can be hammered out in a few hours - but come on. If your band makes twelve-minute long albums, you should be release, like, at least three albums a year. At least.

But I guess these dudes have other things to do than sit around all day and work on making me happy, ’cause they’re only just now getting around to getting into the studio to put together their follow-up. Still, I guess I should stop being a spoiled brat and just be grateful that this year we’ll get another twelve minutes of music-to-kill-your-obnoxious-neighbor’s-family-while-you-make-him-watch-by.

Gridlink will apparently debut some of this new music at Maryland Deathfest this weekend, which is reason 8,679 why I should have gone. Oh well.

Here’s half of Gridlink’s Amber Gray, in case you doubt their awesomocity.

-AR

I will switch teams for Trent Reznor right now and I don’t care who knows it. He really is just making a strong play for the title of “Coolest Dude EVER.”

It was exactly a month ago today that we first heard about How to Destroy Angels, Renzor’s new project with his wife, Mariqueen Maandig, and frequent Nine Inch Nails collaborator Atticus Ross; and it was just a few days ago that we heard that the group’s debut EP would be coming out July 6. Well, that release date either only applies to physical copies of the album, or has been scrapped, or was never real to begin with, ’cause now HTDA have announced that they will be GIVING THE EP AWAY FOR FREE in 320 kbps mp3s THIS TUESDAY, June 1. If you “pre-order” the album right now – pre-ordering in this instance basically amounting to joining an e-mail list – you can download a new song, “The Believers,” right now.

Click to read more…

UPDATE: The TV show will be filming at the FLATIRON building at 2pm today. The trucks will NOT be selling there. This is where they will be given the details of the challenge. Food service will probably run from 7 pm until 1 am TONIGHT. That is all we know thus far. People can meet at the Flatiron Building just to cheer them on if you would like. more to come….

NYC metalheads and meat-eaters: build up your appetite and get ready to headbang as the world famous Grill ‘Em All metal burger truck arrives in NYC from Los Angeles tomorrow, Saturday, May 29th! The acclaimed burger truck, which has received rave reviews on premier burger blog Burger Conquest, features such gourmet burgers as “The Behemoth” (grilled cheese buns, smoked cheddar, apple wood smoked bacon, beer soaked onions), “The Waste ‘Em All” (marinated green chilies, pepper jack, beer soaked onions) and other made-to-order burger recipes that vary each day.

So what brings this LA establishment on wheels out to the right coast? The guys have been participating in a reality show that has pitted a number of food trucks against each other. Seven trucks started in San Diego and have been moving East, city by city. In each city they start fresh with nothing in their trucks except certain spices and random things production allows. From there it’s up to the truck to figure out where to find fresh meat, buns, and toppings for their burgers. The truck that makes the least amount of profit at the end of the weekend has to make the shameful (and long) trek back to Los Angeles. In each town 1 truck is eliminated.

The Grill ‘Em All truck will arrive in NYC tomorrow (Saturday) at a place and time to be announced today. We’ll update this post as soon as we have details.

-VN

I don’t like to talk too much smack on Andreas Kisser, because he’s a terrific guitar player and I have no real evidence that he’s a jerk or whatever; I’ve never really seen or heard about him doing anything super-douchey, unless you consider his part in the dissolution of the classic Sepultura line-up super-douchey, which you might. It does seem awfully funny that Max Cavalera left and the band basically never made anything good again, but that really just suggests that Max was the driving creative force behind the Sepulturawesomeness, not necessarily that Andreas Kisser should suck it.

But awhile back there was a rumor that there was gonna be a Sepultureunion, and now Max has told AltSounds that it almost happened – except a certain guitar player ended up mucking up the works:

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If any of you guys know me, you know that I have a permanent hard-on for my Fractal AxeFx Ultra, and although some of you may hate my tone, you would be silly to think that you couldn’t dial in a tone that your weird ears like, and then some. This one is for the gear nerds out there.

This is more than a Fractal plug, I swear. Let’s call this more of an open test/experiment in progress because I am in the midst of quite an awesome dilemma at the moment. I am stuck between deciding on how best to use my AxeFx in a live situation, because both options it affords are amazing.

We just did a little tour in Australia with Dillinger and Maylene, and on that tour we were getting amps from backline companies (read: different amps every day). So we figured the best way to get some consistency would be to plug our AxeFxs into the effects loop return of the amps and use them for their tube power sections. This worked out pretty damn well for the most part; you could hear how each different poweramp had its own distinct sound, but when it was awesome, it was AWESOME. Only at one show did I actually get the amp I had asked for, and that was an Engl Invader (150 to be more precise) and that EL34 poweramp sounded so godly that I thought perhaps that was the way to go. Or at least something similar: a good tube poweramp (may make more sense for a rack unit ala Fryette 2/50/2 or Mesa 2:90) through a 4×12 cabinet. Good old Preamp->Tube Poweramp->Cab->Mic->PA in a live context, which is what 99% of bands do nowadays. And with this setup you get that amazing feel of a tube amp and that response they are known for.

However there is another option with the AxeFx, and that is going direct.

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Last week we offered up two copies of the super-sweet limited edition clear vinyl Monolith/Voyager split that’s coming out June 8th on new label Science of Silence Records. For their witty captions to the photo at right, the following two MS readers are the lucky ones who will receive this prize in the mail:

• SourDeez: “I see my ex-girlfriend hasn’t gotten over her thing for skinny blond guys.”
• Mutt Weiler: “While you were shouting at the devil, I was in the living room with Satan.”

These week we’re offering up five copies of The Haunted’s new Road Kill DVD; it actually doesn’t hit North American stores until June 8th (though it’s already out in Europe). Just come up with a funny caption to the below photo, and make sure to comment with (or include in your comment if you’re logged in through FB connect) a real email address.

Footage from last night’s show courtesy unARTigNYC

Before Portal took the stage at the Knitting Factory in Brooklyn last night, some variation of the same phrase was on pretty much everyone’s lips: The singer had better be wearing a clock on his head. I heard at least one person threaten to riot if the performane was clock-less, and another drunken dude simply shout “THE CLOCK!” as we waited for the performance to begin. I mean, everyone has obviously seen the live videos, and as if Portal’s totally original, completely bizarre brand of metal didn’t distinguish them enough from the rest of the pack, well, the whole clock-mask thing certainly helped push them that extra mile.

Shame on us for making any comments that might have been interpreted as having a laugh at the band’s expense. Portal put us in our place.

For the singer – he goes by the moniker “The Curator” – was not wearing a clock on his head. Instead, he was basically dressed in an all-black Pope costume, while his bandmates – guitarists Horror ILLogiuM and Aphotic Mote, bassist Omenous Fugue, and drummer Ignis Fatuus – wore their traditional executioner’s masks and, in one case, a noose. (Oddly enough, Bloody Panda did not wear their executioner’s masks. I heard a rumor that Portal’s masks couldn’t get a work visa, so Blood Panda donated theirs instead. No idea if there’s any truth to that.*) But  this in no way way diminished the impact of the band’s performance, which was totally unique, unsettling, and challenging.

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To celebrate the release of Sick of it All’s awesome new album, Based on a True Story, we asked SOIA vocalist Lou Koller to compile the definitive list of quintessential hardcore albums. Luckily for us and all of you, he agreed! So we’ll be running one entry a day from Lou’s list of the top-ten (+1) hardcore records of all time for the next couple of weeks. You can catch up on previous installments here; the sixth one is after the jump…

Click to read more…

Well, no, not really.

The reliably hilarious Cracked sometimes holds these really excellent Photoshop contests; their latest asked readers to create rejected versions of famous album covers. A lot of the entries had nothing to do with metal, but a few of ‘em did – like these:

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I was kinda ticked last month when Norma Jean unveiled the album art for their latest, Meridional, via a teaser video, ’cause it denied us the pleasure of actually getting a good look at said art. Now The Tony Danza Tapdance Extravaganza have done the same thing for the Michael Windsor-designed cover of Danza III: The Series of Unfortunate Events. And while I hope this doesn’t become a trend – I’ve seen Windsor’s entire piece, and it’s pretty cool – I’ll forgive TTDTE, because, well, I’ve heard Danza III, and it’s absolutely punishing. It is, as Vince observed during a recent listening session, somewhat less mathcore-ish than Danza II and somewhat more of what I guess you’d call, for complete lack of a better term, “good deathcore” – e.g., The Red Chord. But whatever box you wanna try and shove it into (“Heh-heh, he said ‘box you wanna shove it into!’”), it’s really just a damn fine piece of work.

The song in this video is called “The Union,” by the way.

Noisecreep debuted this clip, and if you head on over there, there’s a brief statement from Danza vocalist Jessie Freeland explaining the general idea behind the art.

Danza III comes out July 6 on Black Market Activities.

-AR

I’m still smacking myself for taking this long to discover Dub Trio, a band that combines two of my musical loves by striking a perfect blend between heavy, progged out Helmet-style metal and deep, delicious dub grooves. It might seem like an odd pairing, but somehow it just works. Given the fact that the band hail from my backyard of Brooklyn and are on Mike Patton’s Ipecac Recordings… how the fuck did I miss them until now?

Apparently I’m not the only one, as their Wednesday night show at the small downstairs lounge at Santo’s Party House was just half full, but boy did they play hard and impress the fuck out of all those attendance. I’m still in shock by how heavy, tight and just good they were; it’s one of those of shows where I spent the whole time being transfixed by one band member or another (usually uber-slick drummer Joe Tomino) and before I knew it the whole thing was over. If someone told me Dub Trio were playing again tonight, I’d cancel my plans to watch the Mets sweep the Philthies and be there, front row center.

-VN

Look! It’s another awesome MetalSucks guest column! When he’s not busy working as the vocalist for Thy Will Be Done or being metal’s foremost Christopher Walken impersonator, J. Costa will be writing about whatever the heck he wants for us. Please join us in welcoming him to the Mansion.

Hope everyone is well. We’re back out on the road again and, as usual, I’m always painfully reminded that I’m “not trusted” to pump my own fuel in two of our nation’s states: New Jersey and Oregon. But, since the event that sparked this particular blog has its roots in Oregon, I’m choosing to single that state out for making me suffer the backhanded compliment and discourtesy of being treated like an absolute ignoramus every time I need to fuel up the van there.

For those of you who don’t know, it is illegal to pump your own fuel in Oregon. Their “no self-serve” law was passed in 1951, and should have been repealed long ago. While there are “reasons” as to why this law is still in force, anyone with some common sense understands that it is a “make-work” law forcing gas station owners to hire the barely-employable and/or those who are just starting out in the work force. These “qualified attendants,” as far as Oregon’s lawmakers are concerned, keep us imbecile-citizens from harming ourselves, others, and our planet.

Some quick background: in 1951, when the Oregon legislature made it illegal to pump gasoline into one’s own automobile, it was believed that foolish individuals would mishandle gasoline and cause severe accidents – at least that’s the story Oregon legislators fed to the public back then. I’m sure in 2010, it has become clear that this fear was misplaced, as people the world over have managed to fuel up their own vehicles without incinerating themselves or their autos. In spite of overwhelming evidence to a one-in-a-billion accident occurring, Oregon’s state officials continue to back the self-serve ban for baseless reasons (below) that reveal their intellectual prowess:

Click to read more…

Gaza? Guh-ZAH? GAY-zuh? What is the proper pronunciation??? Add it to the list.

Find out the answer to this burning question in Metal Injection’s NEMHF interview with Gaza, in which the Salt Lake City bruisers also talk some trash about fellow-SLC choreographed stage move specialists Chelsea Grin. Yay trash talk!

-VN

Yesterday, we wrote about a .WAV algorithm that can (allegedly) turn any song into swing music – and posted a link to a swing version of “Enter Sandman” that had been created to demonstrate how the algorithm works. At the time I hadn’t actually read the comments under this Metallicover – but for whatever reason I did last night and saw that someone had posted a link to an actual swing cover of “Enter Sandman,” as performed by San Francisco’s The New Morty Show. And it’s actually pretty good!

Richard Cheese has been doing lounge versions of metal songs for years, but that’s (duh) not swing music. If anyone knows of any other swing groups that did metal covers, let us know.

-AR

Honestly, kudos to whichever member of Team Osbourne thought up this little promotional stunt. I won’t call this “Viral Vomit” ’cause it’s corporate vomit trying really hard to be viral, but I will mention that Ozzy’s new album, Scream, comes out June 22 on Epic. You’ve earned that, whomever you are.

So. Ozzy recently went to the wax museum/tourist trap Madame Tussaud’s – the one in Times Square, ’cause believe it or not they have these fucking things all over the world – and pretended to be a wax statue of himself. Then, when people went to pose for their photo with said “statue,” he would reveal that he was a real person, and scare the crap out of ‘em. And because I enjoy torturing other people, I actually find this fairly amusing.

When asked about preparation for tricking people into think he’s an inanimate object, Ozzy said, “Seen any of my concerts recently? I’ve been practicing for this for years!”

-AR

[via Blabbermouth]

So Vince and I checked out Gorguts, Portal, and Krallice (and, yes, some of Bloody freakin’ Panda) last night… needless to say, it was an all-around excellent experience. I’m gonna try and get a review of Portal’s performance up later today, because I think they specifically deserve some attention, so unique is their stage show. But I’d be remiss if I didn’t show Gorguts and Krallice some love, too, ’cause those bands kill.

The good news/bad news of the evening was that Gorguts mainman Luc Lemay announced from the stage that while he and the rest of the group’s current line-up (which includes Dysrhythmia’s Kevin Hufnagel on guitar, Krallice/Behold… the Arctopus’ Colin Marston on bass, and Origin’s John Longstreth on drums) are working on a new album (as expected), they won’t hit the studio until “late fall” or “Christmas,” which means this release obviously won’t see the light of day ’til 2011.

But they did perform a new song, which, for now, is simply called “Number Three;” and they’ve been performing it this entire tour, I guess, ’cause our buddies over at Metal Injection have some righteous footage of the band playing it in Boston earlier this week. Check it out:

Gorguts, Krallice, and Portal all play Philly tonight and Maryland Deathfest this weekend. You absolutely should not miss them.

-AR