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Cinemetal

I MIGHT LIKE BLACK METAL MORE IF IT HAD CHOREOGRAPHED DANCING

 Thursday, May 20th, 2010 at 11:30am by

Hail Satan for people that aren’t me and have a much wider range of tastes in music than I do. I never would have deliberately sat down to watch this video for Goldfrapp’s “Alive” if Stabitha Christie hadn’t sent it to me with the words “Holy shit” in the subject line. I’m sure there are plenty of tr00 kvltists who are going to be deeply, deeply offended by this video, but, c’mon: if you’re already wearing corpse paint, you’re already completely ridiculous.

-AR

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  • evilfatguy

    AAHHAHA that is amazing! Perfect.

    • twiyannick

      perfectly embodies the tenets of black metal. this is what we’ve been waiting for, people.

  • kidgruesome

    I don’t care what the kvlt people think. This video is spectacular. I suddenly have the urge to burn a church with a gasoline filled disco ball.

    • zack1metalhead

      I PISSED MYSELF LAUGHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

      HAIL SATANS DISCO BALLS!!!!!

  • http://www.flamingtusk.com Zosimus

    CAN black metallers be offended? Only the posers, I reckon. POSERS. Or “poseurs”.

  • tall_ted

    That was Xanadutastic!

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/James-Butler/100000300276967 James Butler

      awesome

  • samthebrutal

    They will be more envious then offended, I mean those dudes a least got to dance with some chicks!

  • Kuranes

    What the fuck was that? I’m not offended, just baffled.

    • evilfatguy

      It’s Goldfrapp… She’s fucking insane.

  • mahkiavelli

    There are no words to describe how brilliant this is…

  • crusherdestroyer

    If old gorgoroth had stayed together maybe this is how Gaahl would have wanted all their ongoing videos

    • Alex_P

      The gym trainers would be dudes.

  • Alex_P

    That was so awesome in so many ways. I have faith in humanity when videos this good get made. (Song was better than most pop songs, too)

    • Killer Kovarik

      lol agreed, i actually downloaded it

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Logan-Holloway/1100588308 Logan Holloway

    was there something that i missed here or is this a shot at how looks can be deceiving? Whatever

  • Haeckel

    This reminds me of Lady Gaga’s leather jacket with GISM, Doom, and Icons of Filth patches in her Telephone video. Or Betty White’s digital short on SNL with her death metal ‘Thank You For Being A Friend.’ Extreme metal/hardcore is the hot pop culture reference.

  • http://www.heavystreet.com/ Heavy Street

    Perfect! This is a total piss take on the kvlt family values of black metalers. This makes a laughing stock of everything these Carpathian Forest loving losers hold true.

    • aids robot

      i love carpathian forest and i thought this was kindof funny OH NO I EXIST OUTSIDE YOUR TIRED STEREOTYPES

  • Metaljesus

    Love it! The only thing that’s deceiving about the kvlt dudes is that they are actually in good shape!

  • Sean

    Awesome video, but where was the forest?

    • >_>

      This, I would’ve laughed significantly harder if they were dancing in a forest setting.

  • GoingDeaf?

    Corpse Paint has officially jumped the shark as an extreme expression. Sorry Kvlters! It was bound to happen with Black Metal becoming so widespread. Corpsepaint is the new mullet!

    • evilfatguy

      Fuck, I hope so. The last years of my life will be so much more entertaining.

  • Max

    Ahahaha. That made my day. Also totally digging the song.

  • iolanach

    hahaha, awesome! and the song wasn’t that bad either…

  • kickoutthejamsman

    if this is supposed to be a joke, its hilarious, but if its supposed to be artsy or some bullshit, its pretty dumb. but it seems like a joke.

  • beardy

    latfh

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Gideon-McAdams/1343010120 Gideon McAdams

    this is the best thing i have ever seen.

  • KMFCM

    1. why didn’t you tag this “hipsters out of metal”. Goldfrapp is as hipster as anything

    2. can someone synch this up to “stop eating my sesame cake”?

    3. I wish a rapper would’ve done this first. MC Chris. . . . . . . .somebody

  • Jonathan

    I just wish there was something metal about the music…

    • Jonathan

      But. I do participate in musical theatre. Dancing man? That shit’s serious when it’s not the party-whoring around everyone calls “dancing.”

    • Fred Durst

      hmm that song reminded me of the latest Dream Theater stuff

  • http://~ B. Ewing

    haha what a video!

  • bethany

    hehehhh. she is a trip.

  • Ziltoid

    Exactly how would this offend anyone? This was pretty funny.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/David-Adam-Meredith/1463830541 David Adam Meredith

    The song is total ass but the video is hilarious.

  • No Way Yahweh

    pure genius.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Corey-Mitchell/660352330 Corey Mitchell

    Boo to vampires and blue blood. Yeah to leggings and no knees doggy style.

  • SeanN

    The expressions on the dudes’ faces was hilarious.

  • http://www.facebook.com/todd.rosier1 Todd Rosier

    This would be great for a black metal fan to watch;)

  • http://www.facebook.com/todd.rosier1 Todd Rosier

    This would be great for a black metal fan to watch;)